~Yumi~

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As I was lying on my bed, listening to the sound outside the window, the window freely blowing as the trees were hitting each other. Some kind of nightingales making sound as the clock on my wall were ticking for every second that was passing..

I had been thinking about it.. but no solution was decided and the more I thought about it, the more anxious I started to become.

I gave up on trying to sleep since my head and brain refused to loose it's consciousness and I put the blanket aside, as I the night lamp right next to me and I walked over to the desk and sat down

I pulled out the drawer and saw all the blue letters that he had written to me and a big clump of pain was soon forming in my stomach.

I had tried to come up with all positive advantages of moving to Seoul but the one and ONLY negative thought was heavier than the other.

If I moved to Seoul, I wouldn't be able to be here anymore, which means, I wouldn't be able to write to him, talk with him or see his letters again..
My hands started to shake as I took out a pink paper and pink envelop and I looked at the pencils.

I grabbed the pencil after I had taken a deep breath and then I was trying to concentrate, trying how to put it all down into words..

It felt like I was saying goodbye..

We had never considered, asked each other about seeing each other.. meeting up.. I don't know why but I liked it this way.. cause it would be so totally different if I knew how he looked like..

I did spend my free time to think about him, how he would actually look like, how tall he was and what kind of name is fitting this beautiful person.

I can't imagine myself without him. Without him.. I would be in 2 pieces. I needed him by side . I had adjusted, I have become comfortable with having him right next to me and just the thought that I might have to separate from him now.. would totally squeeze the air out of me...

In other words, I won't be ME if I can't have him with me..

I didn't want to lie.. but to tell him the truth.. It was like cutting my heart, slicing it into pieces..

I started to write, letter by letter..
As the letters were put down on the paper.. A tear fell for each letter..

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~JaeJoong~

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I stared at the suitcase of mine.. Trying to understand why I had to pack so early when it was about 2 days left. I didn't like packing.. cause when I was packing, I knew I was preparing myself to go back to Seoul.. which means, I wouldn't be able to write letters with her..

I sighed heavily as I sat down on the bed and covered my face with my hands and closed my eyes
I hated it.. I hated to go back and leave everything behind..

For some reason, I didn't feel good today either.. There was a spooky feeling.. that something wasn't right today.. Something.. bad is happening.. Sad or painful.. No idea but it was sure something..

OUtside I soon heard the rain started to pour down heavily, smashing my window with it's raindrops. I groaned out of anger as I heard it and walked over to the window..

Why does it have to rain today? If it rains, it means I wouldn't be able to go out.. And that also means that.. I wouldn't be able to get her letter and read it..

I spun around and saw my letter waiting on the desk. I was planning on to go outside and deliver it as soon as I was finished with all the packing but now because of the rain, it was pretty obvious that I would probably catch a cold or something if I went outside..

The rain became heavier and I started to feel angrier. Were they trying to prevent me from getting the letter or what?
I sighed and grabbed my summer jacket and the umbrella. I took the letter and put it inside my pocket and went out of my room and to the door

"JaeJOong?"

"Nae~~"

"Where are you going? It's raining" Mom said

"I have to go somewhere"

"Honey, you'll catch a cold.."

"Omma.. Don't worry.. I'll be back in 30 minutes.."

Mom didn't have time to persuade me to stay and I hurried outside as I unfolded the umbrella and was letting the heavy rain smash on it. I think if the rain would become even more heavier, it would probably break my umbrella..

I looked down on my black jeans and it was already wet and as for my sneakers..

Damn it.. Those were my favourites..

As I was walking, I was trying to see through the rain but it was raining so heavy that it was almost impossible to see what was in front of me..
I hurried all my way to the tree which took me 20 minutes to walk. I guess the talk about me being back in 30 minutes..

"Omma.. Mianhe" I thought while laughing

I soon spotted the tree not far away from me and I hurried over as I felt my heart beating faster. I couldn't wait to see the pink sweet letter in there waiting for me..

But even though I was feeling happy.. I wasn't so comfortable with the feeling of that she might have written something about the guy she had met..
An ocean of jealousy took over immediately and I started to feel how the color black was taking over my eyes..

I was hoping from the bottom of my heart that she hadn't written anything about him.. But afterall.. I couldn't be that selfish..

I took out my letter and replaced i with the pink letter.
I protected the letter as if it was my life, trying to protect it from getting wet and trying to prevent it from being cold..

Weird in a way, but I couldn't help it. The letters was all I had from her and if I didn't cherish that. . then there's nothing for me to cherish about her except my daydreams about her and her previous letters..

I hurried back home and mom was waiting for me with a cup of tea and a few buns

"Hurry and change clothes or else you'll catch a cold" Mom said and grabbed the umbrella

"Nae~~"

I hurried into my bedroom and changed into loosy pants and a white tee and went back to the kitchen to have some tea

"Ready to go home?" Mom smiled

"Not really" I mumbled

"Wae?"

I looked suspicious at mom and I swear that I could see something hiding behind that cup of tea. She was sneakily smiling

"Mom.. cut the crap about the questioning and trying to talk to me.." i laughed

Mom laughed as well

"I'm not a good actress am I?" Mom said

"Not really.. if I put it in this way, you shouldn't try out for that kind of career?" I said

Mom laughed harder

"Omma.. Wae?" I asked

She shrugged

"How's your life Dear? You seem.. to be a lot happier when you're spending your time here than.. back at Seoul"

I quieten and kept drinking my cup of tea

"Talk to me.. Is it a girl involved?"

I sighed and looked at her

"Why do you have to be so observant?" I chuckled

Mom shrugged

"I'm your mother.. I have to" Mom smiled

I rolled my eyes

"Mom there's no girl.. and I promise if there is a girl, I promise to bring her home"

"Aa~~ Introduce her and have a family dinner and such?"

I nodded

"Deal"

Okay, a white lie but hey .. I couldn't really talk to mom about her. Not yet.. Not even my friends knows.. so there's no reason to tell anyone yet..
I put the suitcase down on the floor and grabbed the letter, threw myself on the bed as I started to unfold the letter...

I started to read the first lines but as I started to get to the end of the letter, my smile soon faded away and was replaced with a shocked expression..

The last line, I think I reread it at least 20000 times before I believed it..

"... I don't know if I'm able to talk to you anymore.. Mom and dad.. has decided to move to Seoul.."

WHAT?!!??!