~JaeJoong~

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I was staring at the papers that Changmin had given me and of course I had no idea why he even wanted me to learn this but since I had to keep my brain and mind busy, i did learn and I could even rabble, write it without the papers..

And now when I've learned braille, now what? I couldn't help but be a bit curious why we had to learn it and I wonder if the others had memorized it yet..

It was still early in the morning so I decided to take a shower before eating..
The 1 hour I spent at the gym was relaxing. Keeping my body and mind busy but now I was afraid that my mind were going to slip into the same state, thinking about her so I decided to take a quick shower and then clean the house

As I was drying my hair, walking out of the bathroom I couldn't help but feel the necklace around my neck, her ring hitting my chest as I felt my own ring on my finger somehow choke me..

I stopped and looked at it for a minute but as soon as I felt myself close to tears, I hurried over to the closet to put on some clothes and then I dried my hair, fixed it for some reason since I had so much free time and then went to the kitchen..

When I saw the mountain of dishes I smiled happily so I hurried to put on an apron and started to clean the dishes. When I was finished I made myself some ramen and sat down in the livingroom in front of the tv, zapped into a variety show and started to eat

When I was almost done with my ramen I heard someone coming home and the door smashed hardly, making me drop the spoon into the bowl out of fear as I stared at the hallway. I saw Yunho coming..

He was breathing heavily, staring at me and he looked.. exhausted. Frustrated and.. angry

"YOU!"

"Me?" I whined like a baby, becoming afraid. Yunho's anger is not to play with

"You come with me now!"

He ran over and grabbed my wrist and pulled me up from the couch, away from my bowl of ramen and without turning off the tv, I hurriedly put on my shoes and he let go of me so that I could lock the door. I didn't dare to ask him cause the anger on his face was really something..

"YOU IN NOW!" Yunho said

I hurriedly got into the car and he was soon inside as well. He put on his seatbelt and I was still a bit confused of what was happening but he drove off and soon we were hitting the highway

"Mind telling me where we are going?" I finally said, breaking the silence after 20 minutes

"JaeJoong.. listen to me"

"I have no other choice since there's no music and the only thing I can hear is us speeding on the highway and that you're crossing the limit. You're driving too fast so .. yup.. I'm listening" I said trying to joke but the serious facial expression on Yunho didn't disappear

"Do you still love her?"

I was taken by surprise as he said that sentence and I felt my entire body becoming paralyzed as my mind went blank

"Mwww w oh?"

"Do you still love her? Answer me and don't play no jokes now" Yunho said seriously, his eyes still on the road

"What's up with this question?"

"JUST ANSWER ME DAMN IT!" Yunho said

"Let me off.. NOW!" I said and gritted my teeth

If there was something I was trying to avoid at the moment, the ONE AND ONLY subject I didn't want to talk about then it was her. It's way too sensitive..

I suddenly heard the sound of the doors, locking and I stared at the door and then at Yunho

"What in the world are you doing?" I said

"You're going with me to this hospital"

"What hospital?" I said and looked at him

"Changmin's hospital"

"DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HIM?!" I panicked

Yunho shook his head

"No No.. It's not him.."

"Yoochun? Junsu?! What happened!??!" I shouted in panic

Yunho sighed

"I don't know how to say it" He started and threw himself a glance at me

"Tell me cause you're making me worried here" I said angrily, impatient

"Changmin found someone"

I felt my body relax a bit. That means that the members were ok..

"Gosh.. I thought something happened to the others. So what if he found someone.. I'm happy for him" I shrugged and looked outside the car

Yunho sighed

"It's a special person JaeJoong ah~~"

"Why did you even drag me into this? I even left my ramen and I didn't finish the show" I said a bit annoyed

"You'll see when you get there.. We can't talk about it in the car cause.. I won't be able to drive then"

It did sound serious for some reason.

When we finally arrived at our destination I couldn't help but to look around the hospital, seeing the people who were disabled, trying to walk, to be independent without their assistance help.
Great.. he brought me to a place that would make me feel even more sadder. How great..

I followed Yunho quietly behind, not knowing what to say or do. This is just a hospital. Changmin's workplace for the summer.. What does that has to do with me? I'd rather stay home, clean the house..

We soon entered a room and when i looked up I saw Junsu and Yoochun sitting by the window while Changmin were sitting on the bed with a girl next to him..

"Is that the special one?" I sighed and looked at Yunho

He closed the door behind and approached them and I had no other choice than to follow him

"Hyung!" Changmin said and stood up

"Sorry if I kept you waiting" Yunho said

"It's alright.. At least you called and told us to wait" Junsu smiled

I felt all of them staring at me , including the girl that Changmin were sitting right next to. I somehow sensed that there was something special with her, not to mention that my eyes got locked on her for some reason and I couldn't help but to keep looking at her..

I didn't see the members gather themselves together, anxiously waiting for me saying something.. or perhaps the girl..

"Annyeong haseo JaeJoong~~ssi. Yoona Imnida~"

I looked at the guys who were observing me

"Uhm.. Annyeong haseo.. Yoona" I said a bit weirdly. Hesitating whether to talk to her informal or not

"You're My Oppa.. so speak the way you feel the most comfortable" she said

I raised an eyebrow

I really didn't feel like meeting a new girl. Were they trying to hook me up with another girl?!

"Yah! You brought me here to introduce me to a new girl? I said annoyed

I glared at the members who stared back at me

"Well guess what.. I'm not interested. No offense Yoona But I'm not interested. I'm not the guy you're looking for. Hope you'll find yourself a guy who's nice and hopefully the right one for you" I said and looked at her

She just kept staring blankly ahead just like she has been doing ever since I arrived

"I'm out. Just call if there's anything" I sighed heavily and spun around heading towards the door

"I'm Blind JaeJoong"

I stopped immediately as I felt my heart jumping up to my throat, making me choke

"I'm blind was born with it. I'm not.. like Yumi Unni who lost it"

My entire body froze. My blood stopped and my brain was empty as my eyes widened and my body was paralyzed. I couldn't move, breathe or think..

Even my heart stopped

"Yumi Unni is special.. and she's.. in pain"

At the word pain I immediately spun around as I stared at her. I started to slowly approach her as I unknowingly started to cry. SIlent tears falling from the corner of my eyes

"Mwo h hhh?" I stuttered

Yoona looked up. Her face were facing me but her eyes didn't look at me..

"What are you talking .. .about?" I stammered half hearted, broken

Yoona smiled

"You.. still love her don't you?"

I swallowed hard

"You don't need to answer.. I can hear.. all the way from where you are standing that your heart beats for her.." Yoona said

"Who are you?.." I asked

"Yumi .. is my Unni.."

I looked at the guys who nodded slowly. Junsu were quietly crying as Changmin's eyes were staring at a spot on the floor. Yoochun were holding back his tears while Yunho stayed quiet

"Do you want to meet her?"

Suddenly Yoona got up and in the blink of an eye, Changmin were right next to her. Yunho and Junsu took a hold of me, since I were still at loss as we made our way out of the hospital and I was silently following them..

"Yumi .. ?" I whispered, still dazed

We soon stopped after passing through floors with the elevator and as we made our way down the hallway I felt my heart beating faster.. Not knowing what to say or do..

But then we stopped outside a room as Yoona were somehow.. looking inside the room. A small window was there and it was possible for you to look through it..

"Take a look .. "

All of them stepped aside as I was trying to understand why they even had brought me here. I felt Yoochun push me lightly forwards and I stopped myself, not daring to look through the small window

"Turn your head hyung.." Changmin sobbed

Lifelessly with my heart beating like a drummer, I turned my head to look through the window and in there..

In there..

There she was..

The person I've been trying to avoid

The person that I've been trying to understand the one I had locked away in my heart. Locked the sorrow and sadness away.. And brought out the hope.. Hope that she might someday come back to me..

Tears started to uncontrollably fall as I blinked over and over again in order to see clearly since the tears were blocking my view..

I slowly raised my hand as I touched the window..

There was only a door keeping us away from each other..

Just a door..

"I'm not dreaming.. right?" I choked as I cried

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Yunho's

"No.. you're not.."

"She's there.. isn't she?" My voice was barely audible since the throat was so thick, not making me the words I wanted to say come out..

Even making sounds, speaking was hard

I started to cry harder

I saw her sitting on the chair facing the window while her hands were reading something in her lap. Her index finger were moving from side to side..

She was blind..

I suddenly felt a pair of arms taking me away from the window, her room and dragged me down to the waiting room. I collapsed there. In the middle crying uncontrollably as the reality was revealing itself..

"She's..blind.. Yunho ah~~"

I cried hardly as I was hitting the floor
I could hear all of them crying.. Even Yoona..

"She's blind.. No No.. No!!" I cried

No one said anything but I felt the members hugging me as I was crying onto their shoulders, trying to understand that the person I loved the most was blind now.. She didn't see anything..

I think I needed an hour before I managed to calm down.. I was still sitting on the floor, still staring blankly ahead as the picture of her reading the book with her fingers from side to side kept replaying in my head..

But then suddenly I felt something heavy on the floor in front of me, causing me to wake up from my thoughts..
I saw Yoona on her knees, she was resting her hand on the machine. Her face were facing me and it really did feel like as if she was looking at me..

"Do you still love her JaeJoong?"

I couldn't answer

Of course I do. How can I not?

She suddenly pushed the machine towards me..

"If you still want to be with her.. Write a letter in braille.. If you don't.. You have the chance to walk away right now.."

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~Yumi~

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I sighed heavily as I leaned back onto the armchair of mine and I closed the book as I placed it on the table right next to me. I had no idea how many books I've finished ever since I had gotten blind..

I know that it was getting dark outside and it was almost evening..

I closed my eyes as my hand searched for the stereo's remote control.
The piano sound filled my entire room and I felt my body relax but my heart started to ache as I thought about him..
The pictures of us together were still fresh in my mind and I started to emerge myself into them.. as if I was reliving it over again..

Tears were slightly falling as I smiled to myself.. thinking about the times we had been together..

Suddenly something interrupted my mind and I heard footsteps coming into my room.

"Hello?" I asked as I lowered the volume

"Hi Yumi"

I recognized Jin Woo's voice and I relaxed a bit..

"Hi Jin Woo"

His voice sounded dead. Tired and frustrated. Even the aura that was coming from him was strangely off..

"Is something wrong?" I asked as I felt him kneeling in front of me

Automatically I raised my hands to his face and I felt him closing his eyes.. His cheeks was wet.. He's been crying..

"Jin woo ah~~ Something happen? You've been crying.. I asked concerned

"You.. haven't changed a bit Yumi.."

I froze

"Mwoh?"

"You're really.. caring as you were in the past.."

I pulled my hands away from his face

"Wh . .at are you talking about?"

"It's me.. Changmin.."

My body froze as I felt my heart stopping as well

"H hhow.. didd y o o uu find me?" I stuttered

"That's not important now.."

I swallowed hard

"You got a job here.. and worked as Yoona's.. assistant.." I whispered as the puzzles were falling on their right place..

"That's not important now Yumi.. We have something more important to talk about"

I quieten

"There's.. nothing to talk about" I choked as my voice faded away

"We do.. You miss him don't you?" Changmin asked as I felt him placing his hand over mine

I closed my eyes as tears were falling..

"It doesn't matter .. Changmin ah~~.. It's not important now.. I'm not the person I used to be" I sobbed

"Yes you are.."

"No I'm not.. I'm blind.." I choked as I shook my head

"Yumi ah~~ Please.. consider your heart for once and not your mind. What does your heart say?"

I shook my head

"I can't listen to the heart. ."

"It's aching. It's calling for help Yumi!" Changmin said, trying to make me understand

I shook my head

"It'll disappear.."

"No It won't.. it will continue to ache until you're too wounded to even heal it.." Changmin said

"Please.. listen to him"

I recognized that voice immediately

"Yun h h ho ?" I stammered as I heard him on Changmin's right side behind him

I soon felt the familiar hand caressing my cheek

"I'm right here.." Yunho sobbed

"No.. no.. you shouldn't be here.. please.. please.. leave.." I said and pushed away their hands

"We won't go away.." Junsu said

I froze

"We're going to stay here.. We love you.. and JaeJoong loves you.." Yoochun said

I suddenly felt something being placed on my lap. My hands were shaking as tears were streaming down like a river on my cheeks..

"read it..We'll leave you alone" Changmin said

I heard their footsteps fade away and soon even the door close. I was crying hardly, sobbing.. feeling the heart ache even more as I tried to understand that they actually.. had found me..

Did JaeJoong know?

Did he ?

My fingers were trembling as I unfolded the letter..
My first thoughts was that how am I suppose to read the letter when I was blind?But
then.. soon enough .. I felt that it was written in braille.. making it easier for me to read..

With a shaking finger I started to read it..

"In a cold and evil world like this.. we need to stick together to pull it through.
Through obstacles, fears, nightmares, problems, accidents.. unfortunate moments, our hands needs to still be entwined.
Love has no boundaries or rules. There are no sayings such as that you're not allowed to love just because you're not like others. Love can be displayed in so many ways.. and letting someone else taking care of your heart.. is the most beautiful thing another human can possibly receive .

No matter how you look from the outside, you're still the same you inside. The forever unchanging heart that I fell for will always be there.
Leaving me like you did made me realize the loneliness is bigger and more miserable than I ever thought it could be. You gave the loneliness a chance to embrace me and I'm trying to get my way out of it now.

Please understand the heart of mine that is yearning for you"

I couldn't continue to read as I started to recognize the person's aura, the soul and love that was written, the meaning behind the words..

But I forced myself to continue..

"Please.. understand me.. Don't give loneliness the chance to embrace me again cause I've been falling and falling and now.. when I'm able to see the small stream of light, the glow inside my heart is appearing again ..

Yumi..

If you weren't able to walk.. I would be your legs..
If you weren't able to move with your arms, I'd be your arms..
If you weren't able to move, I'd help you move..
If you weren't able to speak.. I'd be your words..
If you weren't able to hear, I'd be your ears..
If you weren't able to see.. I would be your eyes in order to make you see..

I'd be everything that you won't be able to do.. If you just give me the chance..
Let me ease your heart.. "

I couldn't continue to read it anymore. I placed the letter back on my lap as I covered my face and started to cry even more.. The tears wouldn't stop falling as I felt the pain inside of me growing. I wanted to see him.. I wanted him by my side..

I couldn't take it anymore.. My heart was calling out to him and there was no way I would be able to see him right now.. Cause I wouldn't be able to look at his perfection. His face, eyes mouth..

Suddenly I felt someone kneel in front of me..
A scent that my heart had registred a long time now, that was like a tattoo who had marked it's place inside my heart..

I felt the warm hands bringing them to his face..
His shoulders were shaking, making me understand that he was quietly crying.
I hadn't heard him enter or that he has been here the entire time..

My hands that were shaking so hard that I couldn't even control them, his hands were easing them down with his warmth so that I was able to touch his face. The cheeks was wet because of the tears that was constantly falling from his eyes.. Although his eyes were closed..
I could easily see him in front of me as I felt his face..

The jaw line.. The neck and collarbone.. His eyes and sharp nose.. His big eyes.. his mouth..

I started o cry even harder as I started to shake..
I suddenly felt him taking my index finger, bringing it down to the letter again .. wanting me to continue to read..

"I'll be right here and I won't let you go. Can't you hear my heart that is calling out to you ?
I want to become the warm presence, that will wrap around your saddened heart.. so that you will never show tears by my side again.
It doesn't matter if you can't see.. You can still feel..
Just by having your eyes open, it's enough for me to look into your soul. Your soul are still watching me..
And so is your heart..

Yumi .. I love you..

From . . JaeJoong .. With Love"

My tears fell even more as I realized that this was the first time ever he had written his name in our letters..
My heart took over my entire body as I fell down in front of him, on my knees.

He wrapped his arms around me instantly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Inhaling his scent as I was crying onto his shoulder, him crying onto mine while brushing my hair, kissing my neck, collarbone..

"I love You Yumi.. I love you"

He kept whispering..

"I love you JaeJo.."

I didn't even manage to make a sound since his lips cut me off and kissed me..

He hugged me tightly as he pulled away from my kiss holding me so close to him, as if he was afraid of me leaving him again ..

His words were still replaying inside my head..
Realizing that now.. when I had finally listened to my heart.. I understood that the meaning behind his letter was more.. I had to read between the lines..

We had never written our names in our letters..

But now I do understand..

That he really means it..

"From JaeJoong.. With Love"

With Love ...