~Yumi~

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I opened my eyes slowly to see that I wasn't in my bedroom. I was in the guestroom, lying on the bed with the blanket over me. I felt JaeJoong lying close to me, not to mention his arms kind of strangling me cause he was holding onto me tightly

Outside it was dark, which means, I had been sleeping the entire afternoon away. What an dwaejee I am ..
I could feel JaeJoong sleeping, his breathing was perfectly in sync, deep and long.
But somehow it felt like he was having a nightmare since he was holding onto me so tightly. He didn't realize it himself, and also, he was sweating heavily.

I didn't dare to move since I didn't want to wake him up, but on the other hand I felt like I should wake him up cause the nightmare of his didn't seem so good. His eyes were somehow moving under the eyelids and I felt his fists fold hardly right where my stomach was.
I moved around a little, trying to release myself from his grip but it was impossible. His grip was like an iron grip. It was impossible to move since I didn't want to wake him. His grip started to tighten even more, and his breathing was increasing. He was sleeping, like he was worried over something...

His iron grip started to tighten around my stomach and I started to panic. I couldn't let him sleep anymore. He had to wake up

"JaeJoong" I said softly and tried to release his grip as it was increasing. His strength was really on top

"JaeJoong" I mumbled as I tried to release myself, but his hands didn't move

It tightened even more and this time I started to have a hard time to breathe

"JaeJoong!!!"

I started to panic and my scream woke him up immediately and he looked around. I felt his grip around me soften up and soon his tense body was back to normal, relaxed.

I let out a sound and I didn't realize what it was until JaeJoong's eyes were on me, worriedly

"Yumi!! Why are you crying?" He asked worriedly, despite the hoarse pain in his throat

I shook my head and started to relax, my heartbeats going back to normal. I was scared. It was just a dream but it was really scary cause I've never seen him panicking, being so harsh before. But on the other hand, it was only a dream.. he didn't know what he was doing..

"Yumi! Uljima~~" He said softly and kissed the tears away from my cheek

He was lying on top of me and I hugged him with my arms around his neck, his arms right under my back, holding me close to him in a protective way

"Why are you crying?" He asked

"You.. were sleeping so.. tense and worried.. Did you have a bad dream?" I asked quietly

He sighed

"I don't.. remember so much of it.." He said a bit spaced out

"Oh.."

"Wae? did I do something to you?" He asked and looked at me, searching for any kind of injury

"Aniyo~~ Just.. squeezing my breath out of my body" I said

"Mwoh? chincha? Yumi!! I didn't mean to!!.. I .. just.. I"

I shut him up by kissing him

"Gwenchana. I woke you up before I fainted because of lack of air. Aren't you hungry? Feeling any better?" I whispered and pushed his hair back

He shrugged

"I am I think. The fever has gone down a bit and I'm starting to feel my muscles and strength coming back. Although my voice is still hoarse. At least the cold is gone"

"You sound disappointed?" I chuckled

He rolled his eyes

"Can you tell? I feel like a baby being given candy.." He chuckled

"What do you mean?"

"I had so many advantages with being sick. And now, when I am kind of getting better, who wouldn't be disappointed.. ? Maybe you should stay away from me so that I can be sick a little more!" He said happily

I rolled my eyes as he chuckled quietly

"We should get something to eat. And speak of you staying here, does your parents know? Cause you've been spending 2 days here and even slept here. Aren't they worried? Should I call them?" I asked

He shook his head

"Mom and dad are still out of town.. So I'm fine.. I think we should contact the other guys though.."

"Wae?"

"They might be worried"

"We have school tomorrow. We'll see them then. And also we need to get you your stuff so that you can go to school"

He sighed

"Why didn't God create longer weekends?" He sighed and collapsed on my right side, with his arm dragging me with him and now I was on top of him

I chuckled

"I don't know. Maybe he's just trying to annoy you"

"Well he's doing a good job then cause I'm more than annoyed" He chuckled

I rolled my eyes

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~JaeJoong~

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As I was sitting in the library with the schoolbooks on the table in front of me, I was thinking about Yumi and her illness. Actually, I had lied to her about the dream. In fact, I had been dreaming about something terrible.

Thousands of questions were running through my mind ever since I had been dreaming about that. What was the dream about?
Of course it was her loosing the sight. I don't know but the dream was wicked. So wicked.
I do remember that it was some kind of sick horror dream. It was like a horror movie. Her eyeballs had popped out and that it was my mission to get them. If I did managed to get them before midnight she would be able to keep her eyes and would be able to see and not go blind, but Yumi had woke me up before I even knew if I did manage to get the eyes or not.
But I guess it was better that way cause I didn't want to know either. I didn't want to think about her going blind. Cause it just makes my heart heavy and my shoulders weigh more than they do. I shouldn't be sad for her, pitying her cause she would probably feel a lot worse, not to mention that I would remind her about it everyday.

I sighed heavily as I took another zip of water with some medicine. I was still sick but at least I wasn't so sick that I needed to stay in bed..

"Hyung.."

I looked up to see the guys coming towards me. Changmin took the place right next to me as the other guys sat down on the other seats that was available.

"Hey" I said with my hoarse voice

Yoochun took out some of my books, my bag that I had left after I had walked out on them in order to get the letter by the river 2 days ago..

"How are you? Better?" Yunho asked

I shrugged

"At least the fever has gone down and the cold is about to disappear. But my voice keeps giving me a hard time.. but I'll survive.. How are you guys?" I said quietly

They all nodded

"Ok.." They all shrugged

"How's .. Yumi?" Junsu asked, sounding like he was hesitating about the question

I shrugged

"She's.. at the hospital right now. Having a treatment.." I said sadly

"What happened Hyung?" Changmin asked

"Yunho told you guys about her illness right?" I asked and looked at them

They all nodded

I shrugged

"I really don't know what to say except that.. she do seem to be fine. But what she is hiding inside of her.. I really have no clue about what she's thinking or what her thoughts is. I've been sick because of the rain the entire weekend but she took care of me. We didn't.. speak about it even once. Except when I had been running over to her house after I had read the letter and.. uhm.. I just made everything clear to her.."

"About what?" Yoochun said

I sighed

"I think she was kind of hesitating .. that I would leave her because of her disability" I mumbled

No one said anything and the entire library was quiet. It was good we were sitting in the corner so we could have some privacy while talking about this..

"How come she told Yunho first but not you Hyung?" Junsu asked

I looked up and then I looked at Yunho. He was resting his chin on his right hand, spacing out. I hadn't thought about that until they mentioned it now..

"CAuse she was insecure whether she should tell you or not. It wasn't your burden to bear. It was hers. Well according to her thoughts at least. But I persuaded her when she told me..
Of course I did understand her feelings about hesitating, cause this isn't something like ordinary love stuff. This is serious stuff about the health. I can understand her in a way but why she was hesitating and told me first, I have no clue. My theory is..."

Yunho looked at me straight in the eyes

"That she wanted to see how my reaction was at first . She was doubting that you might not.. stay by her side if she told you"

"That it would scare hyung away you mean?" Changmin asked

Yunho nodded

I sighed

"I think it was her biggest fear. She doesn't even seem to fear that she might go blind.." Yunho said

"Seems like she doesn't fear it at all. Sad perhaps but not afraid.." Yoochun said

"I think she's been crying a lot already. After all.. this illness she have had this ever since she was a little girl, but the spots have like.. develop now within the years.." Yunho said

"How do you know?" Junsu asked

"When I was home, I researched about it a bit, cause I was still in shock, cannot believe that she might go blind.. just like that. You have no idea.. when she told me.. that she will go blind, I wished I would've been deaf.. at that very moment" Yunho said sadly

All of us stayed quiet for a minute and no one said anything. The atmosphere, it was hard to not feel the sadness in it.

"What do you think she's.. feeling at the moment then?" Yoochun asked

I sighed

"I don't even dare to ask her.." I said truthfully and looked up

They all faced me

"Wae?" Yunho asked

I sighed and looked at our couple ring

"I'm afraid that I would make her shed unnecessary tears. She has already accepted it.. it would make me look bad if I didn't. But yet, it's so hard to believe that.. she of all people will be blind in a few months, I mean.. I'd rather see her cry in front of me than just smiling and pretend that nothing is happening you know. That's making me even more worried than just acting happy with her" I said

"But maybe she's just trying hyung?" Junsu asked

"Trying what?" I said

"Just like we just said, she accepted it. Now it's time for us to accept it as well. Maybe she just wants to cherish everything from now on, everything she's able to see.. cause... she won't be able to see anything else in the future" Junsu said

"You're right.." Changmin said in agreement

"But it doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm just pretending.." I said

"Look at it in this way" Yunho said

We all faced him

"She is trying to make memories of the time she has left. Cause imagine yourself in her place. She won't be able to see neither of us, her friends or family in the future. Not to see herself graduate, pictures, read.. like a normal person, Write.. without needing help.. She needs assistance.."

I sighed in frustration

"All I'm saying is that she's trying to lock these memories in her head so that she at least will remember something.." Yunho said

"It's so unfair. I haven't heard her complain about her illness to me even once. I think it would help a bit if she did. I want to understand her.." I said frustrated..

"Hyung, imagine yourself not being able to see her smile in the future" Yoochun suddenly said

I looked up and looked at him as his gaze were on the table, his fingers were entwined as he was still spacing out

"I think she doesn't have the time to complain" Yoochun said

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly

Yoochun took a deep breath before looking into my eyes again

"She doesn't have time to complain. She is taking pictures with her eyes of her friends, boyfriend and family at the moment"

"I don't understand" i mumbled

"Hyung, what is the most precious to you right now?" Junsu asked

"Yumi's Smile.."

"Exactly.." Junsu said

I looked at them a bit confused

"She doesn't have time to complain, mourn or be sad over the illness. She is busy to take memories with her eyes of your smile. Everything that you feel for her at the moment, she feels the same way for you" Changmin stated

I felt my fists hardened

"She is taking pictures of your smile with her eyes. Your smile is important to her" Yunho whispered

Suddenly, I felt something stroll down my face. A tear..

"The best thing you can do for her is to smile. She needs something to look back on, too remind her. Not something sad but happy memories" Yoochun said

"Keep smiling Hyung.. that's the best thing you can do for now.." Yunho said