~JaeJoong~

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It suddenly felt like there was no need to go to school anymore. She didn't seem to feel well and I was... way too confused at the moment to even go back into the building..
My arms was holding her tightly and I could feel her wet tears on my sweater. It didn't feel so good since I didn't like seeing girls crying but there was something about her that even made me feel worse.. Not to mention the weird feelings that was being messed up inside of me..

There was surely something very.. warm inside of me. Like a fire, that had been worn out for so many years had suddenly come alive..

I don't know for how long we were standing there. I guess to the other guys, it felt like a life time since they kept texting me. I could feel my phone vibrate but I didn't care. Having her in my arms, it felt like I've been waiting for this. Not sure why but it felt.. somehow right..

I don't know if she could feel my phone vibrating as well but I ignored it. I can always explain to them later on why I didn't come inside.. and I'm sure that they would understand.. And also because I didn't want to let her go.. It would feel wrong if I just..

"I think.. you should.. go inside.."

She interrupted my thoughts and I felt her twisting , trying to release herself from my grip but I soon found myself holding her even tighter, preventing her from going away from me.

"Don't let go.." I whispered

I hugged her tighter and I leaned my chin onto her shoulder as I could feel her scent. I've probably been in pain, for waiting for so long and I've been waiting for 'Her' Love but.. somehow it never came to me and somehow the burdens that I've been feeling lately was coming out. I guess that being in Yumi's arms felt different and somehow exciting. I think this is what I needed, letting out the worries I had and even though I didn't know her that well, the feelings were saying that I could trust her ..

I soon felt her arms around me and she was hugging me as well. I let out a sigh of relief and closed my eyes and just hugged her. I needed the vicinity . I needed it cause this is what I've been longing for. I know that I'm not being fair to 'Her' but.. I just needed.. a friend's concern.. cause that's ok.. isn't it?

"If we're not going to class.. I think we should go somewhere.. else.." Yumi said and patted me lightly on my back

I pulled away from her and looked at her as she was looking back at me. Her eyes were a bit swollen but and so was her nose. I soon nodded in reply and I took my bag and started to make my way out of there, dragging her along. I'm so happy that I took the car this morning and I hurried down to the car, helped her inside and soon we were on our way

During the ride we didn't utter a word cause I think we were both deep into our own thoughts but we did feel each other's presence. Probably both being confused cause this is considered as weird isn't it ? We barely know each other but yet we've talked about serious and very deep things and here we are once again, she was crying and I was depressed and we hugged each other..

If you didn't know us, you could've probably assumed that we were dating..
But no we can't, My heart.. is already somewhere else.. as for hers, I have no idea .. but to judge by the red eyes and her saddening facial expression, maybe it is about a guy after all?

I parked outside my house and when I went over to her side, I saw that she was hesitating. She looked at me for a few seconds and I started to wonder why she didn't get out. It then suddenly hit me. I looked behind me and I saw the picture she was probably imagining inside her head

I shook my head

"I'm not.. that kind of guy.. I would.. never hurt a girl like that.." I whispered almost humiliated

But I did understand her feelings and I can't really blame her for being careful..
She nodded slowly and I helped her outside the car and I locked it and we started to make our way into the house. Mom and dad were at work so I was happy that we were alone. I can't really talk to mom and dad, face their questions now..

We got inside the house and I threw my bag on the chair down the hallway and went into the kitchen to make us some tea. I saw her walking to the livingroom and I assumed later on that she was waiting for me there..

When the tea was finished I went to the livingroom and just like I had predicted she was there but she wasn't sitting up. She had lied down on the couch, crouched herself into a ball like a baby and she had fallen asleep..

I walked silently over to the table and put the cups of tea down and I sat down on the other side of the same couch and looked at her.
She really did look, vulnerable, not to mention the pale face of hers, making her look even more innocent and pure..
I sighed heavily and turned myself forwards. I shouldn't be thinking like this.. cause after all.. I already had someone inside my heart and I just can't.. do that to her.. it didn't feel right. Or at least in my thinking it didn't.. But my heart.. somehow was saying something else..

I groaned quietly out of anger and walked back to the hallway and looked for my cellphone. I soon found it and I went back into the livingroom and I started to read the different textmessages

"Where are you? Did something happen with Yumi? - Yunho"

"Hyung, you're cutting class? - Changmin"

"Hyung, is she ok? Why aren't you coming? - Junsu"

"Hyung, is everything alright? - Yoochun"

Messages like that had been sent to me and I didn't blame them. They must have been worried and confused. I soon started to text back, explaining that everything was alright.. just that Yumi wasn't feeling well. I didn't mention my own feelings and I was somehow hoping that when Yumi wakes up, she wouldn't tell anyone about it and not confront me with it cause if she did confront me, I wouldn't even know the explanation, in fact, I didn't even have one..

When I had finished texting I looked back down at her and was watching her breathing slowly, and her . I grabbed the blanket at the other side of the couch and put it over her so that she wouldn't get cold and after that, I tilted my head to the side and watched her sleeping..

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~Yumi~

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I was feeling a bit too warm and the scent was very unfamiliar. I opened my eyes slowly to see that I was lying down on a couch, in a unfamiliar livingroom that I've never seen before..

The tv was on and a variety show was airing. I looked up and to the sides and when I was looking to the right I saw JaeJoong sleeping. He was resting his head onto the couch with a pillow, half of his body sitting in a very uncomfortable position..

I sat up slowly and realized why I was here and I remembered what had happened a bit earlier..

I was feeling a bit better and a bit more tired and when I saw the clock, it was already late.. I guess mom and dad must be worried

I took a deep breath and stretched my arms out and I approached JaeJoong a bit. Afraid of waking him up, I tried my best to help him to lie down on the couch into a comfortable position to sleep in and then I tucked him in..

I was on my knees watching his face, and hearing the sound of the tv behind me. But that didn't interrupt my thoughts. I was happy that he was there for me and I think that even though it might look a bit.. weird to others who was close and around us, in my heart I felt that it was right ..
I sighed heavily..

Being drawn between two guys is the last thing that I wanted..

I liked JaeJoong.. For his beauty, his manliness, his concern and the way I felt.. How it felt so right to talk to him, so easy..

But.. 'Him' .. . I loved him. It's not easy.. to let go of him and I was afraid that if I told him that I liked.. JaeJoong.. he would probably.. leave me.. not understand.. and I couldn't take that..

I had to give up one.. of them.. I can't have both..

I sighed heavier as I looked around. i turned off the tv and looked around for a pen and a paper but I couldn't find anything. I was thinking of writing a thank you letter to him cause after all, he had been taken care of me..

When I had looked for 10 minutes, there was not a single paper or pen in the livingroom and I then suddenly remembered the pink letter that I had in my purse..

I grabbed my purse and took out the letter and a pen and I started to write down my words. When I was finished I placed it on the table in the livingroom and then I stood up. I grabbed my coat and I threw one last glance at him before I went out from the livingroom and then out of the house..

I hope he won't get mad at me for leaving without waking him up.. I did.. leave a letter.. so.. I hope he'll understand..