~Yumi~

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I was lying on the bed, staring into the wall, with JaeJoong's arms wrapped around my tiny waist, feeling his warmth and his soft breathing on my neck..
I glanced down on the hands that he had wrapped around me, even his grip in his sleep was hard.. as if he was afraid of something..
something that might separate us..

I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it up, covering my chest while my right hand took a grip around his hand, holding it tightly..
A quiet silent tear fell from the corner of my eye as I knew that the separation wasn't far away at the moment..
And I'm cruel for doing it in this way..

I spun my entire body around, crouched myself, making myself smaller and made my way into JaeJoong's embrace, his bare chest and skin coming in contact with my own .. I felt his arms following me, even though he was asleep...

After our little kissing session on the carpet, in front of the beautiful fire place, JaeJoong had carried me into the bedroom and well, you probably know what happened after that..

JaeJoong had soon fallen asleep later on, when I had pretended being asleep.. He just wanted to make sure that I had fallen asleep first or else he would probably sing me a lullaby until I fell asleep..

Another silent tear fell from my eye as I kissed his collarbone..
I looked at the clock to see it was almost time..
The cab would arrive soon and I had no time to loose..

Smoothly and carefully, without waking him up, I released myself from his grip and put a pillow there which I soon saw his hand taking a hard grip around and pulled it closer to him..

I cried silently as I watched him sleeping on the bed, probably thinking that it was me..
I put my clothes on, the shorts and JaeJoong's dress shirt since I wanted something that he had worn with me..
I put it on and pulled the armsleeves up, and I hurried over to the closet and took out my bag..

I had prepared myself already when he had gone out to get me the stuff I wanted, I had made a few phonecalls and I had managed to get myself into a hospital pretty far away from Seoul..

In fact, my sight had worsened. I had spoken to the doctor on the phone and he said that it was just a matter of time until my sight would be like a straw, like you're looking through it. The spots are taking over fast and the sooner I got myself to the hospital the better..

So then.. it was decided..
I had to leave him..

Not even my parents know.. and the doctor had assured me that he wouldn't say anything without my permission if they would look for me, he would just say that I had changed the doctor..

I don't want to take any risks at the moment. I will contact my parents as soon as possible but not even then I would tell them where I was.. cause.. I want to become independent first...
Before coming back or letting anyone see me..

I tiptoed my way out of the bedroom and put the bag in front of the door as I put on my shoes and looked around..
I couldn't help but cry, The sound of my sobbing was nothing compared to the pain inside of my chest, the sound of my heart crying..
It was tearing me apart as I looked around in JaeJoong's house..
I looked down on the couple ring on my finger and also I spotted the crystals of us on the table..
I slowly walked towards it, my eyes glued on the crystal that was resembling JaeJoong..

With shaky hands, my fingers that I wasn't able to control but I forced my strength, my will and nerves in order to grab it.. I looked at it for a long time before putting it back..

I didn't dare to take it with me.. and I didn't want him .. to remember me. It would be a lot better if he found himself someone else, someone who is capable to take care of him which I cannot do. Someone who's able to give him the things that I can't.. That I'm not able to..

I looked down on my ring and while crying, sobbing hardly and quietly, I slowly took it off.. and placed it right next to the crystals of us..

I would keep my necklace on though. I placed the camera I had received from the guys as well and then a pink letter..
I looked at the clock to see that it was almost time..
I made my way back into the bedroom and entered, still seeing him silently on the bed..
With tears streaming down like a river from my cheeks, I bit my bottom lip in order to not make any sound so that he would wake up..

It was better this way..

I walked towards him and I softly caressed his cheek with my finger tip.. Careful to not wake him up..
I then leaned forward and carefully brushed my lips against his, inhaling his scent before standing up and taking one last glance at him before.. I was going to walk away..

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~JaeJoong~

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Slowly the sound from the birds outside the window were making their way into my ear, causing my nerves to react, as well as my brain and I slowly felt myself waking up.. I didn't want to.. I wanted to lie here.. Holding Yumi close to me.. like now..

I pulled her closer to me but something was wrong..
I'm not able to squeeze her like this..

I shot my eyes wide open and looked down on myself, to see what I was holding. A pillow!
I threw it away from me and woke up, stared around in the bedroom..

"Yumi?"

A creepy feeling was making it's way on my spine, as I somehow started to feel the panic coming and I also felt something inside of my chest, giving away a cold feeling.
Something's not right..

I put on some loosy black pants, a tee and hurried inside the bathroom and brushed my teeth in a rush. I was trying to convince myself that she was in the kitchen preparing for breakfast..
As soon as I finished washing my face and brushing my teeth, I put on a smile as I walked outside the bedroom and headed towards the kitchen..

But there was no smell coming, and there was no sound either. Completely quiet..

"Yumi?"

I saw the kitchen was looking exactly the same as yesterday and I hurriedly made my way to the livingroom..
I started to sense the worse at the moment and something was definitely wrong..
The fire place was extinguished, nothing but ashes left and I saw the plates from yesterday.
I started to run..

I ran towards the bedroom once again and this time i headed towards the closet. My eyes shot wide open as I stared at the closet. Her bag wasn't there. I started to search through my own clothes, throwing everything out cause maybe,.. Just maybe I was hallucinating..

But even after I had taken out everything in the closet, there was nothing there..
I started to panic even more, my breathing becoming more heavier as I started to fear the worse

"YUMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I ran down the hallway and back into the kitchen. Nothing..

"YUMI?!?!??? ANSWER ME WHERE ARE YOU!???!?!"

I ran outside to the balcony, She wasn't there. When I then was heading towards the front door to check the front I saw the crystal gift that I had gotten her, standing on the small table in the hall. I slowly approached it as I felt tears coming up into my eyes...
My hand was shaking as I touched the crystals slightly and then my eyes looked down and with my right hand, forcing every nerve I had there to grab the ring that I had given her when I had told her for the first time that I loved her, was lying there..

It was her couple ring..

I took a hard grip around it as I recognized her pink letter..

With trembling lips, my heart beating fast and was waiting for the worse before it was going to cry itself, I opened it..
The entire letter was shaking as I unfolded it and with my watery and teary eyes stared at her familiar writing ..

"Dear ...

Find yourself..someone's who's worthy of your passionate, wonderful love
Find yourself someone who won't give you burdens like I do..
Find someone who's equal to you, who can feel the way you feel when seeing the sunset set in the evening..
Find yourself.. someone's who's able to look into your eyes and say I love you ..
Find yourself someone.. who will be able to respond to your letters after reading it in the future..

Cause.. I won't..

JaeJoong.. Mianhe~~

From .. With Love"

I fell down onto my knees as I reread the letter once more..
Unknowingly tears had started to fall and I felt my entire body shake..

My chest was becoming cold and I burst out into tears as the letter fell down onto the floor, The ring still in my grasp..

I looked up to see the crystals of us kissing, staring at it..
Her kisses..

I shook my head in disbelief and frustration as I started to cry harder.. Sobbing hardly, not being able to control my breathing..

"HYUNG!! HYUNG!!!"

I could hear someone calling me from a far away place but yet I couldn't come back, open my mouth to answer. I then felt the strong arms taking a hard grip around me and soon I saw Yunho's face appear..
But even though I was looking.. I wasn't really seeing..

"What's happening?! Why did Yumi call us and told us to come here?" I heard Yoochun shout in frustration ..

But even though I could hear it, it wasn't really coming up to my brain, signaling that I had understood the sentence..

The only thing I knew at the moment.. was..

That she was Gone ..

"HYUNG! What are you saying?! Where's Yumi?!" Changmin said and tried to wake me up while Yunho were shaking my shoulders.

My tears were unstoppable, they kept coming as I was holding the ring so hard in my fist, so hard that I felt my own blood ooze out a bit..

"She's.. Gone.. Yumi's gone.."