~JaeJoong~

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I had no idea what was going on cause obviously there was something. Yumi started to act weird, not weird but more like.. spacing out . She wasn't concentrated in school . I asked her several times, wondering if there was something wrong but she always said that she was fine..

"Why? Can't.. I just daydream about you once in awhile?" was her excuse

Of course it worked in the beginning but as the days kept passing, I couldn't let go of it..

"Hyung!"

I looked up seeing Changmin and Yunho coming in. Yumi was home today since her mother needed her help with something, so the guys and I decided to go for a coffee..
Well.. I just wanted the time to pass so that I could be with her soon again...

"Where's Yoochun and Junsu?" I asked

"Presence" Yoochun smiled

Junsu and Yoochun were coming with their smoothies, cookies and coffees and we all sat down

"What's up? You looked pretty far away when we called for you" Yunho said

I shrugged

"Love issues?" Junsu asked as he drank some of his coffee

"I don't know if it's.. a love issue" I said and looked at them

"What? Did.. you have a fight with Yumi?" Yoochun asked

"No no!" I said

"Then what is it?" Changmin asked

I sighed heavily

"I really.. don't know how to say this.. but.. somehow.. I feel like something is.. burdening her. As if.. she can't.. stop thinking about it.." I said

"Ahh~~" Yunho said and put down his cup of coffee

"What Hyung?" Junsu asked

"I've noticed that.. You mean her.. attention is always somewhere else?" Yunho asked

"Exactly. And when I ask her about it.. she's .. always saying that... she's fine.. and that.. she's just daydreaming about us.." I said

"Maybe she is hyung.. Girls tend to do so .. a lot" Yoochun said

"But.. why does this feeling of mine keep getting back on my nerves.. It refuses to.. disappear.." I said

"Maybe it's just.. you worrying.. I mean you do become a bit overprotective when you fall in love.. and are dating" Yunho shrugged

"Besides, trust her Hyung.. if she says everything's fine.. then you shouldn't... doubt her.. Put your faith in her" Junsu said

"It's hard.. I can't help it..But you've got to agree with me on the term that she do.. is acting weird somehow.. right?" I asked

"Right" They all agreed

Suddenly a thought hit me making my heart almost jump up in my throat
I inhaled a deep breath as I felt myself getting a bit.. warm

"Hyung? Hyung? Gwenchana?" Changmin asked

I looked at them

"Do you think.. she's... getting tired of me?" I whispered barely audible

"WHAT?!" All of them chorused

I covered my face in frustration as I sighed

"What if.. she wants to break up?" I stuttered

"Aniya Aniya~~ Hyung, you two love each other.. Besides you've been dating for a few weeks only.. You shouldn't think about those stuff!" Yoochun said

"I can't help it. I'm jumping to any kind of conclusions right now.. I'm.. I feel.. helpless" I whispered

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~Yumi~

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As I was sitting in the car with mom, I was nervously playing with my fingers. We were on our way to the hospital to get the examination results from the previous check up.. and somewhere inside of me, a voice were saying that.. the results.. didn't turn out good..

I hadn't told mom anything but I had noticed that the black spot on my left eye had grown bigger .. and I was somehow becoming more and more... blind..

I guess JaeJoong had noticed a bit about me drifting away, thinking a lot .. I wasn't ready to tell him yet since.. I didn't.. feel it was fair to him.. But yet it's unfair that I haven't told him...

I walked up to the hospital, with shaking legs as mom were walking right next to me. We were immediately shown into the doctor's room and I was nervously waiting for her to enter as mom were trying to comfort me saying that the results turned out fine..

But since I hadn't told her about the spot growing bigger on the left eye, She wasn't aware of the results.. I was

The door soon opened and Doctor Park entered with a smile, holding the papers in her hands

"Annyeong haseo" She greeted

"Annyeong haseo" Both of us greeted

She sat down on her chair behind her desk and looked at me

"How are you feeling Yumi?" She smiled

"I'm.. doing pretty good.." I whispered

"Good good..."

"How did the results turn out?" Mom asked

I folded my fists hardly as I was looking at the doctor, taking out the notes she had taken down, the papers of the results. I could tell that the atmosphere was intense as well..

"Well.. " The doctor started as she was reading through the papers

"It's.. good right?" Mom asked

I didn't dare to open my mouth.. I already knew

"I'm sorry Mrs Kwon.. Unfortunately.. the results.. didn't turn out so good. Just as I had expected, the spots are increasing. Her left eye.. the black spot is growing as the days keep passing. It's just a matter of time until the left eye will not be able to see anymore.." The Doctor said

I felt mom's grasp around my arm tightened and I could hear a quiet sob. But that wasn't mom's..

That was mine..

"Isn't the treatment.. helping?" Mom whispered

The doctor sighed

"The treatment can only SLOW IT DOWN .. not cure her eyes. We managed to slow it down for a few weeks. Seems like the right eye are responding much more than the left one.. So as for now.. We can only.. keep on going with the treatments.. until.. it can't help her eyes anymore.. That's.. unfortunately.. all we can do.." The doctor said

As I was sitting in the car, hearing mom trying to hold back her tears, I was thinking about my life, JaeJoong and my friends.. The letters..

I could feel my heart crouch into a ball, aching hardly inside my chest as I thought about it. Just the thought of not being able to read or see his face again..

"Yumi.. we're home honey.."

I looked up to see mom had already parked the car, gotten outside and was already on my side of the car helping me out. I got out of the car and mom helped me inside the house and dad came and greeted me, helping me into the livingroom

"How di..." dad quieten when mom had shaken her head

No one said anything and I was remaining quiet. Still thinking about JaeJoong..
Mom and dad went into the kitchen, since dad wanted to know what happened. Mom had put a blanket around my shoulders and left me in the livingroom alone..

As tears were quietly streaming down my face, I looked down on my ring, seeing only half of the ring in my left eye as the right eye could see everything

I couldn't hold it in any longer and the tears finally came out. Sobbing could be heard and I was shaking terribly

"YUMI!!!"

Mom ran over to me and dad was right next to me as well

"Yumi~~" Dad comforted

I didn't stop crying

"Honey.. please... Uljima~~" Mom's voice broke

I shook my head

"Mom.. dd dad" I stuttered, trying to breathe

"How.. am I suppose to read.. in the future? How am I suppose to.. look at the one I love in the future? How am I suppose to see my children grow up in the future? How am I suppose.. to live my life happily when all I can see is black?!" I sobbed

I felt mom and dad hugging me even harder and I could hear mom sobbing as dad was trying to fight his tears

"How am I suppose.. to look into the eyes of the guy I love, and not.. see the glimpse of happiness.. the love.. the sorrow.. share his pain, happiness and love if I'm blind?!" I sobbed

I frustrated covered my face as I kept crying

"Honey... I.." Mom's voice broke

"Mom.. I .. I.. don't.. want to .. be blind.." I sobbed hardly

"I know Honey I know"

I leaned onto mom's shoulder and cried hardly as dad was wiping away my tears.

Mom and dad left me about 1 h later just so that I could calm down. I asked them to go to the supermarket just so that I would have the house by myself . And it was easier to .. think.. when they weren't around, constantly asking me, throwing worried glances at me..

I saw my cellphone on the table..
I looked at it for about 20 minutes before I sat up and grabbed the phone.. and made a phone call

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~Yunho~

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After I had dropped Changmin off at his place, I was driving silently, listening to the rain and humming for myself.

I was a bit worried actually about Yumi since this wasn't the first time JaeJoong had asked us for advice. He needed someone to encourage him cause he was obviously, loosing his confidence in the entire relationship..

I didn't know what was wrong with her either but.. of course I had noticed her weird behavior. Who couldn't? Or probably.. it was just me.. observing

*Ring ring

I grabbed the phone and pulled over

"Yoboseyo?"

"..."

"Yoboseyo?" I asked again

"Y Y u u nho?"

I froze

"Yumi?" I breathed

"Yunho.. w where are you u u?"

"Yumi? Gwenchana? What's wrong? Did something happens? What's wrong with your voice?"

All the questions just came out and it was hard to hold it back since she sounded so.. sad

"Yunho.. can you.."

"I'll be right there"

I hung up, made a u-turn and drove my way instantly over to Yumi's house.
About 10 minutes later I finally arrived which felt like forever. I rang the doorbell a couple of times but Yumi didn't open. I didn't want to be impolite but since her parents car weren't at home, I entered myself, finding that the door was unlocked

I entered, locked the door, took off my shoes and started to call for her

"Yumi?"

"Yumi?"

I soon entered the livingroom to see her sitting staring blankly ahead of her, not saying anything.
Her eyes were staring.. in a painful way. I walked over to her, bended down in front of her

"Yumi?"

I caressed her cheek and put her hair behind her ear . She kind of woke up and looked down on me

"You're.. here" She whispered

"Yumi? What's wrong? What happened?" I asked as I felt my anxiety and fear that something must have happened or else she wouldn't look like this..

"I have.. a secret Yunho" She whispered

Her voice was so soft. Filled with pain and she sounded so tired. As if it was also even hard to breathe. I think I've never seen her so fragile before but.. it.. didn't .. look right..
She looked so fragile, that if I just put my finger on her, she would immediately break down into pieces..

"Yumi? What's wrong? Tell me.. You're making me worried" I said frustrated

I suddenly saw tears form in her eyes and it took the tear about 3 seconds before it slowly rolled down on her cheek

"Yunho..."

"Yumi.. tell me.. now .. I'm going crazy here! Did someone do anything to you? You're not hurt right?"

I started to examine her, look at her arms and face. I was about to look at her legs when her tiny, soft, hoarse.. broken voice say..

"Yunho.. I'm loosing my eyes.."

I stopped halfways and looked up at her

"Mwoh? What are you talking about?" I asked

Her lips started to shake and more tears fell

"I'm.. loosing my eyes"

"You're what?" I stared at her

She closed her eyes and inhaled oxygen and she then opened her eyes and let out a breath, as if it took her so much energy to even breathe

"I have a illness.. Yunho"

My heart froze

"I don't know for how long.. but.. I'm going blind. I will loose.. my ability to see.. I will.. be a blind person.. in a couple of months"

Her tiny voice, managed to say all that. It broke at the end of the sentence but with my hearing, also sitting so close to her, I was able to hear it all..

But I wish I wouldn't have.

At this very moment.. I wish I was deaf..