~JaeJoong~

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"JaeJoong?"

"JaeJoong?"

I felt someone shaking me lightly, whispering. I opened my eyes slowly as the eyes were adjusting to the color of the room an also to the person who was standing in front of me

"Yunho.." I whispered

I was about to get up when I realized that someone was sleeping silently on my right arm and when I looked down on my arm I saw that Yumi was silently sleeping..

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, loud enough to let the guys hear

I remembered that I had stayed over the night and Yumi had fallen asleep in my arms while crying and I guess in the end I did it too..

"We called your house but your mom said that you have been out and you didn't return. We decided to look for you in the morning and Yumi's house was the first place. We thought something had happened.." Yunho explained

"We? The others here as well?" I asked surprised

He nodded

"They're downstairs.. and talking to Yumi's mom"

I sighed heavily

"I'll be right down.."

Yunho nodded and got out of the room and I looked down on Yumi again. I was unable to stop her tears yesterday and even though she had calmed herself down, the tears didn't stop at all..

I slowly and silently tucked her in as I let her go out of my grip. I went to her bathroom and as soon as I saw myself in the mirror, I gasped at my reflection. Shocked by the way I looked..

I had bags under my eyes, not to mention the tiredness and also the puffy and swollen eyes because of the tears yesterday..

I noticed something blue hanging on the wall and when I spun around I saw that Yumi had bought me a towel since it said JaeJoong on it. I saw her pink towel right next to it and I couldn't help but smile as I slowly touched it smoothly..

I gave out a sigh as I slowly started my morning routine, being quiet as much as I could in order to not wake her up cause I was pretty sure that she was exhausted because of everything that happened yesterday. I tiptoed my way out of the room, closed the door and went downstairs to find allt he guys sitting in the kitchen, having coffee with her mother..

When I entered I saw that the members were quiet, sobbing quietly and when her mother turned to me, her eyes were all puffy and swollen as well...

"Take a seat JaeJoong ah~~"

I bowed and went over to the seat next to Changmin and Yoochun. I didn't know what to say but Yumi's mother got up and made me a coffee and sat down again. I didn't want to decline it cause I was pretty picky with coffee but when I tasted it just to be polite I was surprised that it was exactly how I wanted it..

"Don't look so surprised JaeJoong ah~~" Her mother chuckled as she sobbed

I looked at her

"I found a few notes.. on Yumi's desk.. and when I was cleaning her desk.. I saw that she had taken down notes about you.."

"No otes?" I stuttered

"You want your coffee with some milk, and 2 spoons of sugar. When you're eating you're always start the meal with looking after some chili or anything spicy to add and you like having your scrambled eggs with lots of pepper.."

I stared at her, not knowing what to say. As my hands were around the cup, holding it, I soon felt Yumi's mother reaching out for my hand..

"I've always known that there was someone special in her heart. I really didn't mean to sneak through her drawers but when I found the bunch of letters, a long time ago, I realized that she has been.. in love for a very long time. And now when I see you, see you two together, seeing how you're able to calm her down, make her feel safe and protected, make her feel the feelings that parents or friends cannot give but just something that the opposite gender are able to do, You have no idea how happy I am.."

I silent tear strolled down my cheek as I looked at her

"Every since the day you came and introduced yourself to us, behind Yumi's back, I've always had good feelings about you. We've learned to treasure you JaeJoong ah~~. We've learned to love you just by looking at Yumi.. I've never seen her smile so bright and being so cheerful.."

I swallowed hard

"You've made a difference in her life and the changes are so easily to see. I can't thank you enough"

My grip around the cup hardened

"I think you're the reason, as well as these boys here, are the reason that she is not depressed. That she hasn't given up on her life yet.."

No one said anything

"Love can make a difference.. so many and big things.."

I sobbed quietly

"JaeJoong ah~~ Ko muhp ssumneeda.. Chincha. We're so grateful.."

I shook my head instantly

"I should be the one who should be grateful.." I said and looked at her

Her mom looked at me sadly as I saw a tear strolling down

"I'm so thankful.. that I've met her. I'm so thankful for everything she has given me.."

"Through JaeJoong Hyung, she has become an important person to us as well.." Yoochun whispered

"Very important" Junsu whispered

I swallowed hard

"Ommo ni~~"

I felt her soft and loving gaze at me as I looked at her

"If I could.. I wouldn't even hesitate.. to switch place with her.. I'd rather be blind than seeing her blind..."

Her mom's tears started to fall even more and suddenly she reached out for my hand and embraced it warmly

She soon left us after she had prepared the breakfast and then left to her work.

None of the guys said anything cause we were all deep into our own thoughts. It was a silent moment, sadness filling up every space..

"How is she Hyung?" CHangmin asked

I didn't blink as I was still staring at my cup, answering him quietly

"Not good.."

It was emotionless. My voice sounded like it died

"How is she taking it?" Yoochun asked

"She.. cried.. all night.."

I could hear Yunho let out a quiet sob and I looked up to see Junsu wrapping his arm around his shoulder

"It's.. really.. happening.. isn't it?" Yoochun asked

I nodded as the tear that had strolled down my cheek down to my chin, fell on the table

"Do you know.. how awful I feel?" I whispered with a shaking and trembling voice, my lips that were turning blue because of the coldness I was feeling inside of me..

They all looked at me

"It's as if.. someone is torturing me. It's like.. slowly, drowning, feeling all the air squeezing out of your lungs, and yet you're not still able to get up to the surface cause some kind of chain, a rope is holding you down. You can't.. swim.. and can't.. get up to the surface to breathe.."

"hyung.." Changmin whispered

"Or should I compare the feeling of .. how you can hear a glass being shattered? Imagine yourself listening to the glass that just crashed down onto the floor, although you can hear every single piece of the glass, breaking.. So clearly.."

I looked at them with tears in my eyes..

"That is how I was I feeling yesterday, everytime I saw a tear fall from her eyes or hearing her sobbing hardly.. You cannot imagine how painful that was.."

"Hyung..." Yoochun wrapped an arm around my shoulders

I then burst out into tears for the very first time. The uneasy feelings that I had been hiding, the worry and anxiety, the fear.. everything was .. coming out now..
I folded my fists so hard that I didn't feel the pain that I was doing to myself..
But that pain was nothing compared to see how Yumi was suffering..

"You have no idea.. how much I've been fearing the time.." I said and looked at them

They wiped away their tears as they kept listening

"I've been spending every single free second to be with her, afraid that if she do looses her sight, she won't be able to get to see the beautiful things in life.."

I sobbed quietly

"There's so much I want to do for her.. but yet, it feels like the time just won't give me the time. They won't give me the opportunity to let her see everything.. There's so much to see.. but there's really no mercy.. not even hope.. I'm trying so hard to be happy and give her strength but when I notices that she is still thinking about it, deep inside of her, it feels like I'm lying.."

I cried hardly

"I feel so weak. So powerless.. just seeing her step by step, loosing her sight, it drifting further and further away, it's choking me.."

"You have to stay strong" Yoochun whispered

"I'm trying.. I want to give her so much.. but.. it's just.."

"Hyung.. go for it" Yunho said

I looked up

Yunho took a napkin and wiped away his tears as he was looking at me

"Just do it. Let go off the limits.. Cross the line" Yunho whispered

I looked at him and soon i saw Junsu nodding in agreement

"Everything you want to do for her, everything.. that she won't be able to see in the future.. Find out her deepest wishes and make it come true Hyung.. we'll be there for you" Junsu said

"We'll back you up.. Find out her dreams and wishes.. and make them come true. Let her see the world, let her remember the beautiful scenery.. before she looses her sight. Let her.. see it through her own eyes" Yoochun said

"Make this time of hers, with that short amount left before going blind, let it be the greatest.. let her remember a wonderful world.. that she was able to see.. that she is able to remember inside of her.." Changmin said

"Let her see Hyung. Cause she won't be able to do it in a few months.. Let her remember the beautiful world instead of the painful memories, the process that she is going through, step by step seeing the pitch black surrounding her eyes.." Yunho said

"Give her something to remember.. Make her forget her illness. Create memories for her to remember. Cause no matter what, memories is the mind's diary.." Changmin said

"The diary of the brain.." Junsu said

"A diary full with pictures" Yoochun said

Yunho looked at me and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before taking a deep breath and looking at me, sobbing quietly as the tears were falling from his eyes.. He then opened his mouth and the said the sentence that made my heart stop...

"That is taken with the eyes"