~JaeJoong~

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I had all day, been thinking about the certain ways to avoid Yumi, somehow to stay away from her and I knew the best way to do that was to hang out with TIffany. I really didn't want to do that to be honest but I just couldn't hang out with Yumi. She somehow gave me vibes that she knew me more than I did and there was a spooky feeling, kind of tense atmosphere whenever she was around..

But the point was, I liked it. I liked having her around which I knew was a big mistake cause you can somehow consider this as cheating against 'Her' and that didn't make me feel so good about it.. Yumi also made me forget about writing letters which was even a bigger problem..

I guess I just wanted to stay away from her cause I somehow have realized that I had started to develop some small feelings for her and I knew that they were going to deepen even more if I kept hanging out with her, seeing her..

And I can't do that.. Cause I knew that my heart belonged to 'Her' .

I was afraid of the feelings that might develop and i don't know how I was going to handle it cause I can't love 2 people at the same time. Not to mention the connection we had..
THe connection between me and Yumi was pretty magical.. Like we have known each other for ages but just to shy to admit it..

I sighed heavily as I was thinking about it. I could see and feel that she was watching me but I really don't know how to reject her. I don't know what her feelings are towards me but my heart was for sure aching when I was watching her from afar, knowing that I couldn't be around her..

BUt I knew I had to sacrifice something..
But being with Tiffany was even more of a burden than I thought. I don't know what was happening but she seemed to be a lot happier when I suggested that we should go to the library and study and she seemed to be so happy that she could probably run a marathon lap right now..

BUt the thing that annoyed me the most was seeing Yumi giving the lunchbox to Yunho at lunch yesterday. I think I have never gotten so furious like I did yesterday and I started to wonder how they became so close so fast.. and I was of course jealous for her concern to Yunho..

He could talk to her.. and I couldn't. Well I could have talked if I wanted to but it didn't feel good cause it felt like I was cheating..
I really am confusing myself right now but I need time to think it all through... I can't.. have it this way. Spending time with YUmi and at the same time writing letters to her.. I was keeping my secret away from both of them and they didn't know anything at all..

But neither of them knew my true feelings either and I didn't know them. Well I did know 'Her's since she had found a guy she was totally crazy about.. OR am I crossing the line when I say that she is crazy about him?

I don't know but she hasn't said that she loved him yet and thank god for that. I Was thinking of suggesting that we should meet but of course I was a coward, not brave enough to write it down and if I managed to write it down I was fearing that she might stop writing and replying my letters

I was pretty torned up at the moment and I think my shoulders have never been so heavy in my life..
Tonight was Tiffany's surprise party but it just didn't feel right to go cause I wanted to stay home..

I gave out a heavy sigh as I lied down on my bed and thought about it. I really didn't want to go cause I knew that Yumi were going to be there.. Yoochun and Changmin had invited her and TIffany seemed to like her as well so.. no doubt that she was coming which would make it even harder for me to be there...

CAuse how am I suppose to endure a night, endure it without looking at her and resist the desire of talking to her?

Tell me cause I really have no idea what I have to do..

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~Yumi~

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I was sitting on my bed, ready and set to go. I was wearing a blue dress and my hair was curly. I had finished my make-up and I was already finished but I was still thinking about if I should go or not

Ever since yesterday, JAeJoong had avoided me, I could tell and for some odd reason he was spending more time with TIffany lately than talking to me. He hadn't even looked at me except when I was handing Yunho the lunchbox..

HIs eyes were scary then, they looked so scary that I didn't have the courage to even look at him. Because of this, I hadn't been feeling well and this certainly didn't feel right now when I was going to the birthday party.. Tiffany is really a sweet girl and I can understand that she was pretty popular although, she only had eyes for JaeJoong.. I really couldn't understand why he couldn't open his eyes and just see how wonderful she actually is..

But I knew for sure that he already had someone in mind. Now when I think about it, I knew that I should stop thinking about him cause I knew that my heart wanted to see him, talk to him , just be with him.. But I was surely putting the heart at risk cause I knew that his heart would never belong to me..

I looked at my pink letter on the desk and I sighed. I knew that it was right of me if I just gave up but I couldn't..
And I needed comfort and encouragement.. but to judge by 'His' latest letters, he didn't seem to like the fact that I had someone in mind and the more I talked about the guy, I noticed that he was always trying to change the subject..

*Ding Dong

I grabbed my coat and my purse, I took the pink letter and put it inside my bag and went downstairs

I opened the door to see a happy Yunho and Changmin smiling at me

"WHoa! YEPPO-NA~~!" CHangmin and Yunho chorused

I blushed immediately and chuckled

"You don't look so bad yourself!" I smiled

THey all laughed

"Kah Ja! The party have already started.. we're a bit late" CHangmin smiled

"May I you to the party YUmi?" Yunho asked politely

I chuckled and nodded. We armlinked our way to the car and when I got inside I saw JUnsu in there

"WHoa.. Looking good!" HE smiled

"Thanks..! You don't look so bad yourself" I smiled

"So.. are we picking JAeJoong Hyung up or?" JUnsu asked

"Aniyo.. He's already there with Tiff" Yunho said a bit weird

I noticed something very strange in the atmosphere but I didn't know if I should ask or not cause maybe, JaeJoong didn't want me to tell them what we've been talking about..

I decided to let the burdens on my shoulders disappear just for the night and the thoughts of JaeJoong as well. I should enjoy this night with meeting new people and just having fun right?

When we arrived at the location where the party was, there was already a lot of people there and when I entered with Yunho people were greeting them happily. They all introduced themselves to me as well and I smiled and greeted.

"You want something to drink?" Yunho shouted because of the music being so loud

I nodded

Changmin waited with me while Yunho went to get us something to drink

"Seems like there's a lot of people!" CHangmin said to me

I nodded

"A cool party for sure!!"

Yunho soon came back and handed us the drinks and when we had finished it, he dragged me and Changmin to the dance floor where we soon joined all the people dancing. I started to laugh and I couldn't help but to enjoy myself cause the atmosphere were really on top..

But once in awhile, I couldn't help but to look around, looking for JAeJoong to see if he was there.. OF course, I didn't see him

Suddenly the music quieten and some kind of royal music was being played and soon Tiffany and JaeJoong walked in, armlinking. JaeJoong was smiling and TIffany happily waving at everyone

She went up where the DJ was playing with JaeJoong and JaeJoong handed the mic to her

"THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tiffany shouted

Everyone cheered and applauded

"Actually... I had no idea that you all were planning this party of mine but then.. with my curiosity, it's pretty impossible to not sneak around and find out what you were doing but anyways thank you!!!"

Tiffany then turned to JaeJoong and looked at him happily

"Wanna thank my boyfriend as well for making it extra special tonight!" Tiffany said and grabbed JaeJoong's hand

My entire body froze as I heard her say "Boyfriend"

I could feel Changmin, Yunho and Junsu freeze as well

"Boyfriend?" All 3 of them chorused

I stared at them and JaeJoong was embarrassed looking at everyone.

"He promised me a song for the night which he had written so please give my sweetheart a big applause" Tiffany said

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek as JaeJoong smiled at her

I don't know if I was dreaming or hallucinating..

I thought.. he didn't like.. Tiffany..

THe first tunes of the recorded music started to play and JaeJoong waited for the right time to start sing..
Soon his voice lovingly filed the whole room and everyone was listening with attentively..

TIffany seemed to be so happy that she couldn't hide her tears and I felt m heart sinking more and more..

At the end of the song, JAeJoong leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips..