~JaeJoong~

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I didn't know what to write. At all..
I was holding the pen, having her letter right next to me as the blue paper were waiting for me to write, to put my thoughts down in words.. and my feelings but..

No words.. came out. came to my mind..

She had met someone?
What did she mean by that?
As in.. meeting.. a guy.. or a friend?

But seriously when people wrote something like that they had met someone, the conclusion that anyone would take was of course, that the person had met someone..

I didn't feel good about this.. and my heart.. for some reason seemed to be .. far away.. from everything.. just.. I don't know.. I mean.. it felt like.. it was hurting..

Aching.. and it needed someone to wrap it up.. to.. heal .. to take the pain away..
I took a deep breath as I put down the pen and covered my face for a moment..

I shouldn't take this seriously.. cause.. I had to know more before I could decide.. what she meant by she had met someone..

And if she hadn't met anyone, that wouldn't change anything between us right? I didn't have to feel awkward. But.. what if she really did meet someone? Someone that had made her heart.. skip a few beats.. that was giving her butterflies.. and..

"No.." I whispered

Just the thoughts of that she might had met someone was hurting me, making me feel angry and I just.. started to feel upset. Angry with the person that had.. made her look at him..

But she didn't know what I truly felt, and in a way, I was good at.. pretending right?
I sighed and took the pen again as I started to write..
I wouldn't jump to any conclusions or assume. I will wait until she really said that she had fallen in love..

And all I could do for now was hoping, hoping that her heart..wasn't taken..

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~Yumi~

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I was walking slowly, early in the morning towards the tree as the pink letter were in my hands. I was holding it tightly..
I always told him everything.. everything that happened in my life.. but this.. I didn't dare to say it..

I was ashamed..

I was going to be.. a disabled person in a way, in need of another person..
For several years I had known that someday, my disease would take away my eyes, everything that I could look at .. everything beautiful.. that I'd love to see with my own eyes..

But never... never.. did I expect it to be so soon..

A silent tear fell down as my heart started to ache and I felt that I was starting to feel sorry for myself..
But I had the right to be selfish..

Just for now..

I knew that the black spots that I had , which caused me to not see everything that I am suppose to see, unless I had to move my head and move the entire body to see it..

The spots really are getting bigger, increasing for every week that was passing by..

I stopped in the middle of the forest and looked up. I saw several trees, a tree that wasn't far away from me. There was a tree, not more than 3 feet away from me and then there was a tree behind it, 6 feet away

I stared at the second tree which was 6 feet away. I could only see that tree. If I wanted to see the tree that was close to me, I had to move my entire body so that I could see it..

Disabled..

The word sounded.. like a freak in my head..

Like I wasn't.. meant to live.. I'm not suppose to be out in the society..

I suddenly fell down on my knees as I burst out crying. My heart was crying with me.. My head was quiet, letting all my feelings out..
What am I going to do?
I was going to be blind.. and Mom.. dad?
How are they suppose to take care of themselves if they had to help me?

It's too much to ask for and I don't want to be a burden..

This was the last thing I expected..

I had accepted a long time ago that I was going to be blind.. later .. when I had lived my life .. but.. not now.. I'm still young and there's so much things that I want to do.. when I'm still young.. so many things I want to see..

I got up on my feet as I was trying to control my balance. I can't show my weak side anymore.. I have to be strong.. cause I knew that dad and mom were going to suffer .. to cry if I was pitying myself this way..

The determination took me to the tree that I was meant to go at first. The blue letter was neatly folded as I saw it.. and it made me smile..

He really was my sunshine in my dark world.. I put the pink letter inside the tree and started slowly to walk away from there..
I couldn't wait until I got home so I just opened the letter and started to read:

" Dear...

I'm tired and it's only a few days left until I have to go back to school. The vacation's almost over. It really makes me sad to even think about it, but I'll cherish everyday that I have here.

You met someone?

Who's this special person ? :)
Tell me everything.. You seemed.. very happy in your previous letter..

From .. With Love.."

I was shocked over how short the letter was and a bit disappointed.. But I could understand him. We were like this everytime we knew that the time for the separation were approaching..

It felt like.. when we're separated, our hearts and mind locked themselves in until we could meet again..

I walked slowly through the forest and just looked at everything I could see.. I could hear the waterfall, not far away from here, streaming down, completely compatible with the sounds from the birds, as the wind were sweeping through the forest..

Just like a melody..

As soon as I got home, I saw that mom were sitting by the kitchen table talking to dad very seriously and their expressions in their faces were kind of .. relieved..

"What's.. going on?" I asked as I stepped inside the house

Mom and dad looked up and dad smiled at me out of relief

"How are you sweetie?" He asked

I put the mask on, trying to not be too emotional cause that wouldn't be good.. for neither of us.. I didn't want to make them sad cause I knew that they were already sad... feeling sorry cause they couldn't help me that much..

"I'm fine.. what's going on? You look so serious.." I said and looked at them

Mom smiled at me as she took out a paper from her lap and put it right in front of me. I looked at her and dad a bit confused before taking the paper and read it through..

The more I was reading, the more I was gasping

"The spots cannot be cured fully, but.. at least there's a tiny chance that they can just slow it down.. " Mom said

I didn't say anything. It was overwhelming..

"We don't know what you want sweetie but.. Dad researched this morning about this.. There's a tiny chance that they can slow it down .. so that you can keep your sight for a few more months or so.." Dad said

I looked up with tears in my eyes

Dad and mom waited

"Honey?" Mom asked

I smiled as I tear fell down

"I'd do anything .. Even if it's just for a few months.. I don't care.. as long as.. I can look and see.. a bit more" I smiled

Mom and dad smiled at me. Happy for my decision..

"There's.. one more thing.." Dad said slowly as he put his hand on the table in a serious way

"What is it?"

Both of them looked at each other before looking back at me

"We.. have to move.. Cause there are no hospitals that have this.. examinations and treatments.."

My heart froze and I became paralyzed

"Where?" I breathed

Mom looked at me

"Seoul"