Doojoon’s POV

I squeezed my eyes shut as she showed no sign of slowing down. Were we going to die? For some odd reason, my mind and body felt relaxed instead of fear. She made a sharp turn, sending my body knocking against the window. I opened my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding.

“How was it?” She asked, smiling.

“ARE YOU CRAZY!? WE COULD HAVE DIED BACK THERE!!!” I shouted at her.

“You asked to try the feeling of death, and I was merely letting you try.” She said.

I glared at her.

“What?” She asked.

“You…” I had nothing to say.

She smiled and cupped my cheeks.

“Aigoo~ You’re cold sweating.” She laughed as she wiped off the perspiration that was forming on my forehead.

I had no idea how to react. She caressed my chest lightly, saying nothing except smile at me.

“So, how did it feel?” She asked.

“What?” I asked.

“You forgot already? Should we go again?” She asked.

“NO!” I shouted.

She laughed loudly and smacked me on my arm.

“You almost gave me a heart attack.” I said, massaging my temples.

“Sorry~” She grinned.

“I felt… relaxed. For some strange reason.” I said.

“Uh huh~” She responded.

“It’s like… I know there was nothing else I could do to reverse the situation. I was going to die and it is like in my face. I was so helpless to the point… I just let it be.” I said.

“Yeap.” She smiled.

“What is the point you’re trying to prove?” I asked.

“Point?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I just wanted to scare you, that’s all.” She smiled.

“YA!!!!!!!!!!!!” I smacked her arm.

“Owwww~” She winced and laughed at the same time.

“YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY!?” I shouted.

She nodded.

“Your expression.” She poked my cheek.

“ARGHHHH!!!!” I buried my face into my palms.

“Who asked you to talk about death out of a sudden!?” She said, still laughing.

“I was just asking an honest question!” I yelled back.

“And so was I doing an honest experiment!!!” She yelled.

“WHAT IF WE REALLY CRASHED!?” I yelled.

“THEN WE DIE! What do you have to lose!? You’ve said it with your own mouth that you’re living a good life and that you can die now!” She shouted back at me.

“There are still many things I have not do! Marriage, family, kids, grandchildren and so on! I’ve not done all these yet! And my parents! The boys!” I screamed into her face.

“Exactly. You’ve so much you’ve not done. See how much you missed out?” She asked.

I looked at her.

“See how a little near-death experience can make you realize how much life means to you?” She asked.

“But that wasn’t necessary.” I mumbled.

“Would telling you nicely work then?” She asked.

“You didn’t try.” I said.

“Okay, sorry. I’ll try that method first in future.” She grinned.

“There’s a next time!?” My eyes widened.

“Not if you stop asking questions like this.” She said.

She continued to drive slowly.

“You can close your eyes and sleep. I wouldn’t attempt to kill you again.” She said.

“Tsk~ Just drive.” I mumbled.

“Omo~ Are you ordering me now?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Yes, sir.” She said, causing me to laugh.

“I thought when we are about to die, we see our life flash before our eyes.” I said.

“Do you think you’re in a movie?” She laughed.

“Isn’t it?” I pouted, feeling a little cheated.

“When you’re about to die such a shocking death, I doubt anyone in the world will have the patience to watch their life flash before their eyes. All they really want to see is everything come to a stop and that they don’t actually die. Just like all that went through your head just now was for me to stop the damn car, right?” She asked.

“That’s true.” I muttered.

“Is there really another world out there?” I asked.

“Do you want me to send you there for an adventure?” She asked.

My eyes widened and I shook my head frantically. This crazy girl~

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. I’ve yet to get answers from the bodies I work on. When I find out, I’ll let you know, okay?” She said.

“Don’t sprout nonsense.” I scolded her.

“But don’t die, Doodoo ah~ What am I going to do if you died?” She asked.

I smiled and hugged the bolster closer to myself.

“Stop driving and let’s sleep.” I said.

“Fall asleep first.” She said, smoothing my hair.

I nodded and closed my eyes.

“Your life is so interesting, Doodoo. You are loved by so many, all of us care for you. It’s tiring at times; life. But it doesn’t deserve to be cut short. There’s no appropriate time to die, but when the time comes, let’s just hope we would have no regrets.” She said softly, her voice coaxing me into sleep.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw her asleep on the driver’s seat. She had parked the car in the car park of the dorm’s apartment.

“Why are you so beautiful?” I mumbled to myself as I watched her sleep.

I smiled to myself when she sneezed and gave herself a scare. Silly girl~

“Are you cold?” I asked, wrapping my blanket over her.

“So warm~” She snuggled her face into my blanket.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked.

“The whole purpose of this car ride was to coax you to sleep, it would defeat my purpose if I woke you up, no?” She asked.

I took a glance at the time. It was 6.30AM.

“The boys should be up soon.” I sighed.

“So… are you ready to go back to your life? Or do you want another ride?” She asked.

“I’m ready.” I smiled.

“Good. Go on then~” She pinched my cheek lightly.

“Thank you.” I said.

“Aye~” She laughed.

“Go home and get some sleep.” I said.

“No worries.” She said, hitting my face with the soft toy.

“Wear this.” I said, giving her my jacket since I needed to bring my blanket back.

“You?” She asked.

“I’m already back.” I said.

“So warm and smells like Doodoo~~” She buried her face into my jacket.

“I’ve not washed that for three years.” I .

“EWWWWWW!!” She looked at me, disgusted.

“But still my Doodoo!!!” She hugged the jacket, grinning at me.

I was pretty surprised by her actions. I thought she would throw the jacket back at me.

“Alright, wear it well.” I said as I got out of the car.

“Doo!” She wind down her window and called out.

“Yeap?” I asked.

“You asked me if I wanted to die young or old, right?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Like you, I want to die neither too young or too old. I don’t know when is the appropriate time to die, but I guess when it is here, I’ll know it.” She said.

I felt a strange feeling in my chest.

“But,” She said.

I raised my eyebrow at her.

“But if you happen to die before I do, I doubt I’ll want to live anymore. What is Iseul without her Doodoo? So, I guess, the appropriate time for me to die is when you die. I want to die with you, Doodoo.” She smiled.

She drove off even before I could reply.

‘Let’s live for a looooooooooooooong time.’ I texted her.

‘Pinky promise?’ She replied.

‘Pinky promise ^^’ I replied.

‘The duration of my life is in your hands now~’ She replied.

‘So trustworthy of me?’ I replied.

‘You’re my Doodoo!’ She replied.

“Why are you smiling like an idiot?” I heard a voice ask. I looked up to find Junhyung looking at me as though I was some strange creature.

“Nothing.” I said.

“You went camping last night?” He asked, eyeing the blanket, bolster and soft toy.

“Went for a car ride with Iseul.” I said.

“FOR THE WHOLE FREAKING NIGHT!?” He yelled.

“Shut up!” I hissed, throwing the soft toy at him.

“I don’t know if I have the rights to say this, Doo, but…” He mumbled.

“What?” I asked.

“It is no secret how much you love her, as a woman, not as a friend. It is also obvious that she does not love you the way you love her. She doesn’t see you, Doo. One day, she’s going to get married and most likely the groom would not be you. Are you going to spend your whole life watching her by the side?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Would you be happy then?” He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Can you sincerely wish her happiness?” He asked.

“Maybe?” I answered.

“If you could, then let her go and go seek your own happiness. If you couldn’t, then make it more obvious and get your point across. But sometimes… remaining friends is a better move than being in a relationship. Just saying.” He said before walking back to his room.

As painful as his words may be, Junhyung is right. Iseul does not see me, neither does she hear me. Can I sincerely wish her happiness despite knowing the one making her smile is not me?

***
Iseul:  I want to die with you, Doodoo.