Iseul’s POV

I sat on the couch, waiting for Doojoon to return. Jaehyun’s words kept replaying in my head. For someone who had everything to lose it all was a big deal. I could tell he was depressed and to say I was not worried would be a lie.

I looked up when the front door open. Doojoon kicked off his shoes and hurried towards me. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his fringe plastered to his forehead and he was panting.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked, looking worried.

I smiled and straightened his messy hair.

“Did you run up or something?” I laughed.

“I did. The lift was taking too long.” He said.

“Silly~” I said.

“You sounded so upset over the phone.” He said.

“Doodoo~” I called out.

“What?” He looked at me.

“He’s back.” I said.

“Who?” He asked.

“Jaehyun.” I said quietly.

“Where!? I’m going to kill him! How dare he come back!?” He stood up, agitated.

I grabbed onto his hand and tugged him to sit down.

“Aren’t you angry!?” He raised his voice.

“I am! But listen!” I frowned.

He opened his mouth, as though wanting to say something, but closed it.

“He’s going through some trouble now…” I muttered.

“WHO CARES!?” He interrupted.

“LISTEN!!!!” I shouted at him.

He seemed a little shocked, but it did the trick.

“You didn’t have to shout at me.” He stuck out his lower lip.

I laughed and ruffled his hair.

“I just wanted you to listen.” I said.

He leaned back against the couch, hugged the cushion and looked at me.

“He came and look for me at work today. He seemed like a changed man. I don’t know. Perhaps whatever he went through forced him to change.” I said.

I continued to tell him everything Jaehyun told me. I could see his expression darkened, his nails dug deep into the cushion he was hugging.

“So I was thinking…” I said softly.

He looked up at me.

“Maybe I want to let him… stay here.” I said.

“WHAT!?” He yelled, glaring at me.

“He has nowhere to go! If I didn’t know anything about it, I wouldn’t bother, but now that I know, I can’t just let him die!” I said.

“You know what, actually, you could! Did he give a about you when you were pregnant? He just left you to fend for yourself! Did you forget it already!?” He shouted.

“I didn’t forget! But… It’s over! I endured it, I didn’t die! Am I going to hold onto that hatred for him forever?! What good would it do!?” I shouted back.

He threw the cushion aside. His hands were shaking. He was very angry, I could tell.

“So what? Now, you want him back? You want him to live here with you and Eun? Have a happy little family?” He asked.

“It’s not like that!” I said.

“If not, then what!?” His face was red and the veins at his neck popped out.

“Stop yelling!!” I pleaded.

“How could I not yell!? You seemed to have forgotten everything despite the fact you said you remembered! And, do you really want Eun to know him!?” He asked.

“He is her father after all.” I said.

“I beg your pardon?” He asked.

“Whether you like it or not, whether I like it or not, we cannot deny the fact that he is and always will be Eun’s father! His blood runs in her veins and there’s nothing we can do about it!” I shouted into his face.

“So… to you.. being a father is all about the blood running in the veins?” He asked.

“She’ll never be your daughter no matter how much you love her!” I said, but regretted instantly. Why did I even say that!?

His expression changed from angry to a disappointed one almost instantly.

“Doo, I don’t mean it that way…” I said quickly.

“You’re old enough to decide for yourself, Iseul ah~ It’s your house, your daughter, your life. You decide for yourself. I know you have already made a decision.” He said.

 “But I cannot stick around and watch. I cannot watch Eun smile at him when he holds her. I cannot watch all three of you spend family time together. I would be really happy for you if it works out well this time, in which I hope it would because I don’t want to see you or Eun get hurt. But forgive me for I really cannot watch.” He continued.

“Doodoo, please..” I pleaded.

“Iseul ah, you know all these while, all I wanted for you was to be happy, right?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Will you be happy this time?” He asked.

“I… I don’t know.” I muttered.

“You have to know, Iseul ah~ You have Eun now. You need to protect her too. You’re her mother.” He said.

Why do his words make my heart ache so much?

“Whatever you decide on, Iseul, please remember that there’s only so much heartbreak one person can take. Stop letting yourself get hurt.” He said.

“Where are you going!?” I asked when he turned to walk away.

“Didn’t I say I wouldn’t stick around and watch?” He asked, his back facing me.

“You cannot go!” I hugged him from behind.

“This house would be too crowded if I stayed here as well. Now that he is back, my job is done.” He said, removing my hands from his waist.

“Doo! I’m not trying to chase you away!!!” I hugged his arm.

“I know, I know. But just one man is needed in a family, and a child can only have one father.” He said, and then he just left, leaving me standing in the middle of our living room.

Doojoon’s POV

‘She’ll never be your daughter no matter how much you love her!’ Her words kept replaying in my head.

“Stop crying, Doojoon ah~ Why are you even crying? No one is going to wipe your tears, so stop crying. Iseul is not wrong. You're not her father and will never be no matter how much you love her. ” I dug my nails into my palms.

“But Eun, I’ll always love you as my daughter, no matter what everyone says.” I muttered to myself as I wiped the tears that could not seem to stop falling.

I felt so pathetic crying like that. The tears blurred my vision and distracted my driving.

I had no idea if I was sad because of what she said or angry that he came back and she is accepting him so easily, or both, because she is so blind to see my love for her but yet she can accept someone who hurt her so easily again.

I believe I was driving in a horrible manner because I heard lots of honking and through my blurred vision, I saw other drivers pointing their fingers at me.

“Arghhh~” I groaned when my head started throbbing in pain.

I hit my temple countless times, in hope to ease the pain, but it seemed like it was doing more harm than good.

“!” I cursed.

Now I had no idea if I was crying because of the pain or because of what happened.

I made a turn and stopped the car when the pain spread to my ears, accompanied by the annoying ringing.

“STOP!!!” I shouted, covering my ears as though it would silence the ringing, but I heard it even more clearly. I pulled out my hearing aid and threw it aside.

I screamed and banged my head against the steering wheel as the ringing and pain got more intense, then I heard a loud ‘pop’ in my ear, as though something inside exploded, and everything went silent. There was no more pain, no more ringing.

So, this is what eternal silence is like. 

***
When Iseul tells Doojoon about Jaehyun

Iseul: She’ll never be your daughter no matter how much you love her!

Doojoon: I know, I know. But just one man is needed in a family, and a child can only have one father.