Iseul’s POV

I followed him into the lift and into my office. He never liked coming inside. He always told me that this place feels like a coffin except it is much more spacious, and he has no idea how I could work in here. But now, he is walking in here on his own.

“What are you doing?” I asked when he lied down on my examination table.

He closed his eyes and had his hands rested on his stomach.

“Doo, what are you doing?” I asked again.

“Iseul, how do you examine the bodies?” He asked, still in that same position.

“What?” I asked.

“How do you examine those bodies you work on? By cutting them up, all you can tell is what physical injuries they had and whatnot, am I right?” He asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“What if the person died of a humiliation? What if the person died of a broken heart? What if the person died of something that is not shown physically? Would you be able to find out?” He asked.

“N.. no.” I said.

“That’s good.” He smiled.

“How is it good?” I asked.

“Like that, at least when the person is being cut opened, he could preserve that little bit of pride for the fact not everything is exposed.” He said.

“Doo,” I called out, pulling him to sit up.

He sat up and stared at his hands lifelessly.

“Doo~” I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look up at me.

“Doo, talk to me.” I said.

“About what?” He asked.

“Tell me everything. I’ll listen.” I said.

“What do you want to know?” He asked.

“Doo, you cannot remain like this forever.” I said.

“I don’t want to be like this forever.” He said.

“Then let me help you. Tell me how I can help you. Tell me what I can do.” I said.

“You want to help me?” He asked.

I nodded.

“You sure you’ll help me?” He asked.

“I’m very, very sure.” I said.

“Help me die, Iseul. I want to die.” He said.

My hands dropped.

I knew he had this thinking all along, but hearing him say it so lightly as if dying was not a big deal, it hurt me so much.

“Doo~” I muttered.

“Or at least, when I die and when you examine me, please do not write it in your report the actual reason.” He said.

I threw myself onto him, hugging him tightly.

“Don’t talk like that! Don’t say such things! Doo, please!!!” I cried.

“It’s very painful, Iseul ah. Everywhere hurts. Let me go. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I cannot live this life anymore. Iseul, please.” He pleaded.

I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me.

“Doo, don’t punish yourself for the mistake he made. He should be the one getting punished. Not you.” I said.

“I close my eyes and I see his face. I look at the spoonful of food you guys try to feed me and I see his…” He choked on his tears.

I caressed his back lightly as I let him cry into my chest.

“You’ll be fine, Doo. You have us. The boys, me, Eun, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone.” I whispered into his ear.

“How is it fine!? Like as if me was not enough, he had to make Eun watch!!!” He pushed me away, shouting into my face.

“What?” I asked.

“HE MADE EUN WATCH ME GET !!!!!!!!!!!!” He yelled.

“Eun was there!!! When everything happened, Eun saw it all!!” He continued to shout.

“Shhh! Shhh!” I hugged him tightly to prevent him from hurting himself.

I did not know about this, but now that I know, I want to cut open Jaehyun alive. How could he do this to Doojoon and Eun? No wonder Doojoon have been avoiding Eun, no wonder he was so depressed.

He was humiliated in front of Eun, and while Eun might grow up not remembering any of this, Doojoon would remember this for life. He would never be able to get close to Eun again, and Eun would never know why.

This was Jaehyun’s way of breaking the bond between Doojoon and Eun. That bloody .

“How am I ever going to face her!? How am I ever going to hold her!? I let her witness something like that! It’s all my fault!!!” He cried.

“It’s not your fault!” I dug my nails into my palms to control my temper.

I was so angry I could break Jaehyun now if he was here.

“Just let me die! Stop torturing me! I cannot face any of you! I can’t!!!” He shouted.

I shook my head, crying with him.

“Just let me die! Please!” He fell to the floor, crying hard.

“No, no, no!” I said.

“Why?” He looked so desperate to die at that point of time.

“How are we going to live without you, Doo? Huh? Do you really want to leave us that badly?” I asked.

“You’ll live fine without me.” He said tiredly.

“How could you say that!?” I asked.

“Why not? Am I not speaking the truth? You never needed me, Iseul. You were always good on your own, no? You seek advices from me but never heed them. You hang out with your circle of friends and boyfriends without me. And then now? You suddenly cannot live without me? You’re just taking pity on me because I got and you are somewhat guilty over what happened to me because it was your ing boyfriend and that bloody friend of his who landed me in the state I am today!” He yelled.

I stared at him in shock.

“Doo…” I muttered.

“Don’t ‘Doo’ me!” He was glaring at me.

“If not because of all these, you wouldn’t even be here. You’ll take Eun and leave! Why would you want to stay here with a horrible person like me!? And don’t you dare deny because I know what is going through your head!” He shouted.

“It’s not like that! I genuinely love and care for you!” I said.

“You love and care for me!? HA!” He said sarcastically.

The doctor did warn me of drastic mood swings, but I did not expect it to be like this.

“I am just your friend, Iseul. Isn’t that what you always say? Who cares for a mere friend that much?” He asked.

His words caught me off guard.

“I…” I muttered in shock.

“Maybe I love and care for you more than just a mere friend.” I said.

“Stop pitying me!” He shouted at me.

“I am not.” I said.

“Yes, you are!! I have love you more than a friend since years ago but you never saw or heard me! Why out of a sudden now!? If this is not pity, then what is it!?” He yelled.

 “You… what?” I asked.

“I LOVE YOU! STUPID GIRL! I LOVE YOU!! But you never saw me. You never heard me. Never. Never. Never.” He said.

“Doo…” I could not think of anything to say.

“It doesn’t matter anymore now. It doesn’t matter.” He said, looking out of it.

“Sorry, Doo.” I took the chance to jab him with a tranquilizer.

He stared at me blankly, and then crumpled limply into my arms. I carefully lay him down onto the floor and let him rest his head on my lap. I smoothed his hair while watching him sleep, his words kept replaying in my head: I LOVE YOU! STUPID GIRL! I LOVE YOU!! But you never saw me. You never heard me. Never. Never. Never.

***
Iseul: Doo, don’t punish yourself for the mistake he made. He should be the one getting punished. Not you.

Doojoon: Just let me die! Please!