Junhyung’s POV

It has been two weeks since Doojoon slapped and told Iseul off in front of us. Hurt and humiliation was obvious on Iseul’s face but while I thought she would get upset and disappear, instead she called me up and pleaded me to tell her our schedule. All because she wanted to sneak into our dorm when we were not around to clean and cook. She said it was for us, but it does not take a genius to tell that she was doing it for Doojoon’s sake.

“I don’t understand why you still bother about him? He humiliated you in front of us that day.” I said over the phone.

“Would you be able to leave him alone? If you were in my position? Or, just as you? Would you be able to let him be?” She asked.

I remained quiet. She was right.

“No, am I right?” She asked.

“Yea, but…” I muttered.

“And besides, if I cook for him, don’t I cook for you guys too? Do my cooking that badly you don’t want to eat it anymore?” She asked.

“Nooooooooo! Your cooking is awesome. It tastes like home.” I said.

“Excellent. So tell me your schedule quick so I can go prepare more home-cooked food for the homesick you.” She said.

“Psh~ It’s just for Doo~” I said.

“Awww come on!” She tried to sound cute.

“We’ll end our schedule by 7PM latest tonight. I’ll text the rest to you.” I said.

“Alrighty! Thank you so much, Junnie! I’ll stock up your Coke, okay!?” She said excitedly.

“You better!” I said. How can I ever resist Coke?

Doojoon looked okay on the outside, but at night he still gets occasional nightmares. He is not as talkative and active as before, but we all know that it takes time to heal whatever happened to him. We try our best to not get in his way, but that is about all we can do and I know it is not helping the situation. I want to talk to him, but I have no idea how to phrase the right words so as not to sound insensitive about the whole situation.

I jumped when I felt someone tapped my back. I turned to find Doojoon looking at me.

“Did I scare you?” He asked.

I shook my head hurriedly.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“N… nothing.” I said.

“You’re stuttering.” He said.

“Okay, fine, you scared me.” I sighed.

He burst into laughter.

“What so funny?” I asked.

“The Joker got scared.” He teased me.

We started punching each other playfully until we were both tired.

“Doo,” I called out.

“Hmm?” He responded, looking at his shoes.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Am I?” He asked.

“I don’t know. That’s why I am asking.” I said.

“Honestly, I am not sure too, Jun.” He said.

“How can we help you, Doo?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think anyone could.” He said.

“Doo, I just want you to know that no matter what happened to you, you’re still our brother, and we’ll love you no matter what.” I said.

He looked at me, a small smile creeping on his face.

“And…” I said softly.

“And?” He asked.

“And Iseul too.” I said quietly.

I saw him bite down on his jaws.

“I said not to mention her.” He hissed.

“Doo, you know that it’s not her fault.” I said, unable to take it anymore.

He glared hard at me.

“When I first heard about what happened, I blamed her too! I told her off in her face. But after thorough thought, I realized that by blaming her, it’s just adding on to the guilt that she already has. She is guilty enough about what happened to you, Doo. You’re her best friend, why would she want this to happen to you? Yes, it’s her boyfriend and his stupid of a friend that did this to you, but… Doo, it’s not Iseul. Iseul is not her boyfriend, neither is he her.” I explained.

He punched me across my cheek.

“You didn’t go through what I went through! Of course you’ll make it sound so simple! I warned her about that , and what did she do!?” He yelled.

“Well, then you did not warn her enough!” I said out of anger.

“Are you trying to say that I brought that upon myself?” He asked, his voice trembling.

“Doo.. No.. I…” I was lost for words.

“No one but myself is at fault that I got because I did not do the necessary things to protect myself properly? Because I did not put in enough effort to stop her from letting that jerk back, it is my fault I got into this crap?” He asked.

I shook my head.

“I see. I see, I see.” He mumbled, turning to walk towards the door.

“No, no, no. Doo, this is not what I am trying to say.” I picked myself up and hurried towards him.

“You made your point clear, Junhyung.” He said, pushing me away slightly.

“LISTEN! PLEASE!” I yelled at him.

He looked at me.

“Doo, what I was trying to say is just to blame the right person, and that person to blame is definitely not yourself or Iseul.” I said.

“But…” He looked down.

“Doo, deep down you know you don’t feel good treating Iseul this way.” I said.

“I hate her.” He said, sounding more like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“No, you don’t.” I smiled and held onto his hand, pulling him out.

We headed back to our dorm to a mouthwatering aroma.

“When did the cleaning lady started cooking?” Doojoon asked.

We have been using this lie that the cleaning lady cooked our meals for the past two weeks and Doojoon never questioned it before.

“What?” I asked, surprised.

“When did the cleaning lady started cooking?” Doojoon asked again, looking at the food.

“Erm… She…” I looked at the other boys for help.

“She said that she wanted to open a restaurant, so she asked if we could be her guinea pig.” Kikwang said hurriedly.

I was surprised by his fast instincts.

“Yes, and of course, who rejects food!?” Hyunseung said excitedly.

“But this taste is so familiar.” Doojoon said, eating a piece of meat.

The boys looked at me nervously.

“It’s like I’ve tasted it before.” He said.

“Home.” I said.

“Huh?” He looked at me.

“This food taste like home.” I said.

“YES! Exactly! I miss my family.” He pouted.

“Maybe you want to make a trip back then?” I suggested.

He put his chopsticks down.

“How can I face them?” He asked quietly before standing up and leaving the dining table.

“Damn it. Bloody mouth.” I slapped myself.

“Don’t do that.” Yoseob said, grabbing my hand.

Doojoon’s POV

I took a quick shower and went to lie on my bed. I did not blame Junhyung for saying what he said. He was just speaking the truth. If I missed my family, I should make a trip home. But how do I tell Umma, Appa and Noona what happened? It would break their heart.

I tried to sleep, but the moment I closed my eyes, those horrible scenes started flashing in my head. Despite taking out my hearing aid, I could still hear his disgusting moans and the sound of his skin slapping against mine when he took advantage of me.

“Get out. Get out.” I muttered as I hit my temple with my fist, but not like it was helping in any way.

After a while of trying to sleep, I gave up. I got out of bed and went to get changed.

“Hyung, where are you going? It’s so late.” Dongwoon asked.

“Just going to take a walk.” I said quietly.

“Let us go with you.” Junhyung said.

“NO! I WANT TO GO ALONE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF ALONE!?” I shouted at them,

“But it’s late, Doojoonie.” Yoseob said.

“SO!? YOU THINK I CANNOT PROTECT MYSELF!? JUST BECAUSE I WAS !?” I shouted back.

“NO ONE IS SAYING THAT, DAMN IT! WE’RE ALL JUST CONCERNED, ALRIGHT!? IF ANY OF US WANTED TO GO OUT THIS LATE, WOULDN’T YOU BE CONCERNED TOO!?” Junhyung yelled at me.

“JUST ING LEAVE ME ALONE!” I stormed out of the dorm, slamming the door shut.

The moment I calmed down, I regretted what I did. I made a mental note to apologize to them later, and maybe buy Junhyung more Coke since I punched him too.

It was about three in the morning and the wind blowing made the weather a little chilly. I buried my hands into the pocket of my coat as I walked. My left hand felt onto something soft. I pulled it out to see what it was. I smiled to myself when I saw that it was Eun’s sock. I am not exactly sure how her sock got into my pocket, but one thing I am sure of is that I miss that girl so much.

As gross as it may sound, I took a slight whiff of her sock and got excited at the lingering baby smell it still has. I miss how she makes herself comfortable in my arms, but I do not think I will ever be able to hold her like that again. But at least now I have her sock.

I clutched the sock tightly in my hand as I shoved my hands back into the pocket, continuing to walk the streets. I jumped a little when I felt someone tap me hard on my shoulder.

“OPPA!” A girl called out excitedly.

I looked at her, and then around, and back at her.

“Don’t’ have to look around, Oppa. It’s just me!” She said.

“What… what do you want?” I asked.

“Oppa, why are you out so late at night? Are you meeting someone?” She asked.

I shook my head. Just by looking at her, I knew she was a sasaeng fan.

“You should go back. It’s late. I’m heading back too. Bye bye.” I said, bowing slightly before hurrying off.

She ran in front of me and blocked my way.

“Oppa! How can you just run off like that!? Do you know how long I’ve been following you!? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this moment!? Everyone else given up except me, Oppa! I have a lot of patience, don’t I?” She asked.

“Yes, yes. But it’s late, and you should go home. Your parents will worry.” I said.

 “Do you want a signature? A photo?” I asked, in hope to coax her to go home so I could continue my walk.

She shook her head, grinning at me.

“Then what do you want?” I asked.

“I want you, Oppa.” She said, taking a step closer to me.

I stepped back.

“W.. what?” I asked.

“Oppa, you have no idea how attractive you are. You are so attractive that even though it is a crime, I want to rip your clothes apart and you.” She said, her face inches close from my face.

My knees weakened and I fell backwards, thankfully for the pillar that saved me from collapsing.

She grabbed my coat and pulled it apart, trying to strip it off me. Scenes of that day flashed like a movie. I screamed, but no sound came out. All that was going through my head was ‘Iseul, where are you?’.

***
If you remember, I did mention in the earlier chapters that when Doo meets danger, he calls out for Iseul instead of his mom :)