Doojoon’s POV

“Hey, you really don’t have to be here with me. I’m good on my own. Besides, I’m just a little injured, not like I can’t do anything on my own.” I said as I watch Iseul busy herself around our dorm.

I was asked to rest for a few days before going back to work. I was pretty much feeling okay but they insisted, and Iseul had her doctor friend slam me with a ‘unfit for work’ letter, leaving me with no choice but to stay home.

“It’s okay. I got the day off.” She said.

“Great, then go get some sleep. You didn’t sleep well last night.” I said.

“I slept well. Who said I didn’t? Don’t you know I can sleep anywhere?” She asked.

“Yea but…” I did not know what to say.

“Why? Am I disturbing you or something?” She asked, her lower lip stuck out.

“Not that, just…” She cut me off before I could finish.

“Since I’m not disturbing you, and I have the day off, then just let me take care of you! How often is it that I get to take care of you like that? Just enjoy this little luxury. I wouldn’t break anything! I’m skilled in terms of house chores and cooking now, okay?” She said.

I just smiled and nodded.

Who said anything about worrying about her breaking stuff or cooking food that would cause us all have a stomachache? I am only worried that she might hurt herself in the process or tired herself out. Or even worse, doing all these because she feels that she owes it to me.

“Actually, we have an ahjumma come clean our place every now and then.” I said.

“Is she coming today?” She asked.

I shook my head.

“Exactly.” She smiled.

“Iseul~” I called out.

“Yea? Are you hungry? Want some food? Or a drink?” She asked.

“Sit down.” I said.

“Why?” She asked.

“Just come and sit with me.” I said.

“What is it?” She asked, sitting down.

I took the rag from her hand and threw it aside.

“I’m not done.” She said, trying to reach for the rag.

I pushed her to sit back down.

“The ahjumma came yesterday, and with Junhyung around, he’ll make sure things are in order, there’s no need for you to clean.” I said.

“But you have clothes that are unwashed. I’ll go wash them.” She said.

“We usually wash clothes once or twice a week, not every day. Water is expensive, you know?” I said.

“Then what do I do?” She asked.

“Sit here and watch some TV with me. I bet you have not watched TV in awhile. All you see these days are dead bodies.” I said.

“Hey! Don’t be rude.” She punched my stomach. I winced in pain.

“Alright. I’m sorry.” I said, pulling her closer to me.

“Are you hungry? I can cook you some…” I covered to prevent her from talking.

“We can always order food. From Korean to Western to Chinese to even Mexican, what do you want?” I asked.

“Aye~ I can cook, so why not?” She pulled my hand away from .

“Three years changed you a lot.” I said.

“It’s not that.” She said softly.

“Then?” I asked.

“I guess we all grow and our thinking mature.” She said.

“Just like that?” I asked.

“What else?” She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Does it hurt a lot?” She asked, staring at my bandages.

“Just a little.” I assured her.

“Don’t try to …” I finished her sentence for her.

“Don’t try to be a hero and act in a scene like that without my hearing aid anymore. Yes, Mom. I get it. I’ll never take it off again, okay?” I asked.

“What Mom!?” She yelled, smacking me on my chest.

Iseul changed a lot, but there are still things about her that would remain no matter how long. One of it being the fact she hated it when I called her ‘Mom’.

We ended up lazing on the couch with a table full of food that we ordered, watching a movie that we had no idea what title it was until the end of the show and feeding each other, or more like she fed me because she kept claiming it was dangerous for me to move my wounds. However, the irony here is, she fell asleep on me, specifically my injured side.

“Hey~” I whispered, poking her cheek. No respond.

“Iseul ah~” I called out softly again. No respond.

I sighed and shifted her as gently as possible so she would be lying on my lap instead. I winced at the ache on my arm. She snuggled her face into my stomach and hugged my waist as if I was her soft toy. I smoothed her hair as I watch her sleep.

/FLASHBACK

“Hello? Iseul? Can I call you back?” I answered hurriedly.

“But I… Just a minute will do.” She muttered.

“Please? I have to go practice now. I’ll call you back later?” I asked.

“Ahh~ It’s alright then. Nothing important anyway. Do well in your practice.” She said, ending the call.

I have been going to auditions after auditions, in hope to get a chance to get into the entertainment industry. I was finally accepted and together with five other guys, we practiced day and night.

“Who is that?” Yoseob asked.

“My best friend.” I said.

“I’m not your best friend, hyung?” He asked, pouting slightly.

I laughed and smacked his head lightly.

“Just kidding! You’re not my best friend too!” He said.

“WHAT!?” I pretended to be angry.

“My best friend is Junhyungie!” He said, linking arms with Junhyung who was trying to eat.

“Yah!!!” He glared at Yoseob when his spoonful of rice fell all over the table instead of into his mouth.

“Opps~” Yoseob stuck out his tongue, looking so cute none of us could get angry.

But of course, to me, Iseul is the cutest.

“Aish! I was trying to eat!” Junhyung said grumpily.

He always wears a grumpy look, but he is not that grumpy in fact. He is quite humorous in his own way and really, a softie inside.

“I’ll feed you!!” Yoseob said, shoving a spoonful of rice into Junhyung’s mouth.

“Keep quiet, both of you.” Dongwoon groaned in his sleep. This rude maknae.

“Are you sure you have the rights to address us as ‘both of you’?” Junhyung asked in a scarily calm voice.

“N..n..no, hyung. I.. I was trying to… to.. sleep..” He stuttered.

“Aye! Don’t scare him!” Yoseob smacked Junhyung’s arm lightly.

“Sorry, Woonie. Go sleep.” Yoseob said as he shoved another spoonful of rice into Junhyung’s mouth.

“Hyung!!” I jumped when I heard someone shout into my ear. Kikwang.

“WHAT!?” I asked, annoyed.

“I called you three times.” He pouted, his thick lips sticking out.

“You didn’t have to scream.” I muttered.

“Do you want rice or noodles, hyung?” He asked, showing me two lunch boxes.

“Erm… It doesn’t matter.” I said.

“You don’t want to eat? But we should eat, hyung!” He said.

“I didn’t say I don’t want to eat. I’m saying anything is fine.” I said.

“But make a choice! You’re the hyung, so you choose first!” He said.

I looked at him. His expression fell a little when my hand moved to the box of rice. Ahh~ So he wants the rice.

“I’ll take the rice.” I .

His grip on the box was a little tight, but I managed to snatch it anyway.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Ouh.” He mumbled. I grinned to myself as I watch him pout at the box of noodles, poking it reluctantly.

“On second thought,” I announced just as he was about to put a forkful of noodles into his mouth.

“I’ll take the noodles. I’m in the noodles mood today. Do you mind switching?” I asked him.

“Huh? Oh. Okay!” He said, switching with me, looking so happy.

I laughed to myself as I watched him eat. How innocently cute~

“Hyunseung, have you eaten?” I asked the guy who cannot stop dancing.

“Yes.” He panted.

“Take a break. You can dance all you want later.” I said.

“I am taking a break.” He said as he continued to move his body.

I looked at him, dumbfounded. I am amazed by his passion for dancing. I swear this guy dances even in his sleep.

I looked up from my food, looking at all of them. These are the guys who will be going through thick and thin with me if we have a chance to debut. All of us came from different family backgrounds. But all of us had the same goal, therefore we were able to motivate each other to strive on whenever we felt like giving up.

Isn’t it a strange way how friendship works? It reminds me of my friendship with Iseul. I cannot remember how exactly we became friends, but whatever memory I have in school, Iseul was always in the picture. Iseul was not extremely smart academically, but she was street smart, therefore even without excellent grades, she always had her way in making friends and surviving. I personally feel that it was a better ‘smart’ though. Just my opinion.

Nevertheless, Iseul never neglected me. Even in a sea of friends, Iseul would always make me feel that she is there for me and that I am part of everything although really I know I am not. She supported me and cheered me up whenever I got rejected from entertainment companies. She would curse at them with me, and then when I calmed down, she would state her reasons as to why she thinks I did not make it this time and tries to improve them with me.

Iseul was never interested in the entertainment industry but she never once said no when I asked her to practice with me or give me opinions on my singing or dance moves. She would sit there and watch me no matter how many hours I spent at it. At one point in time, I thought she had a crush on me that is why she is willing to go all out for me, but after that I realize I was the one that had a crush on her. Iseul loves me as a friend, innocently, while I love Iseul, as a friend, and as a female.

***
“Sorry!” I apologized quickly to them as I ran to answer my phone.

“Iseul!” I yelled out without looking at the caller ID.

It has been months since I met Iseul. We had our debut date set and we were even more busy than usual. It was only until I needed to talk to someone so badly about the stress I have been holding in did I remember that I have not seen or talked to Iseul for a long time. I sent her various messages but there were no replies.

“It’s me, Doojoonie.” An older voice said.

“Umma~” I greeted. Not my mom, but Iseul’s.

“I’m sorry to call you like that, but what do we do, Doojoon ah?” She asked, her voice trembling.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Iseul has not been home for a few days. We have no idea what’s wrong with her. She doesn’t speak to us anymore. You’re her best friend, aren’t you? You know where she is, don’t you?” She asked.

 “What do you mean, Umma? Iseul is missing?” I asked.

“I don’t know what is wrong with that girl recently. Ever since getting back her results, she changed.” She said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Iseul failed everything. She cannot make it to any universities. We told her that is it okay, that she can always try again, but she shut us all out.” She cried.

“Umma, don’t cry. I’ll find Iseul and bring her home, okay?” I said.

“Thank you, Doojoon ah. Iseul listens to you the best.” She said.

“No problem.” I ended the call.

I sank to the floor, feeling like the most terrible best friend on Earth.

“What’s wrong!?” The boys ran over to me.

“Can I… be excused from practice today?” I asked.

They looked at me, looking unsure.

“I… Alright. Never mind.” I said, picking myself up.

“Go. If you need to go, just go. We’ll cover for you. But you got to come back in one piece and even stronger than before because you’ll need to master what we learn today. We wouldn’t be nice teachers.” Junhyung said with a smirk on his face.

“Thank you.” I grabbed my phone and ran out.

On the way, I kept calling Iseul on her phone. I searched possible places, but could not find her. I gave up eventually and went back home, but over the next few days, I went out to look for her after practice.

“What?” I heard a tired voice answer when I called her on her phone.

“Iseul ah! Iseul! It’s me. Yah! Where the hell are you!?” I yelled.

“Not in hell.” She replied coldly.

“Come on, Iseul. I’m serious. Where are you?” I asked.

“I told you, not in hell!” She yelled back.

“I didn’t mean it in literal sense! Fine! I’m sorry! I take that back! Where are you!?” I asked.

“Working.” She said.

“Working? As what? Where? You didn’t tell me.” I said.

“I have to tell you everything? Scratch that, have you gave me chance? No.” She said.

“I… I was busy. I’m sorry.” I apologized, feeling guilty.

“Well, then I am sorry for disturbing you.” She said.

“No, no! It’s not like that! Don’t hang up!” I yelled, knowing she would end the call.

“You’re funny. When you said you’re busy, I have to hang up. When I am busy, I can’t hang up on you?” She asked.

“Where are you, Iseul ah? I’m worried.” I said.

“Stay worried.” She said.

“Please~” I pleaded.

She sighed.

“I’m working, okay?” She said.

“Where? Why have you not been home?” I asked.

“Hey, are you interrogating me now?” She asked.

“No…” I said softly.

“I’m working and not dead, yet. Okay? Does it ease your worries?” She asked.

“Working where?” I asked.

I heard loud music in the background, and people yelling her name.

“I have to get back to work.” She said.

“Working where?” I asked again, firmer this time.

“Some club.” She answered hurriedly.

“Which club?” I asked.

“One of the clubs in Hongdae. Don’t you dare come.” She said, ending the call.

***
There were many clubs in Hongdae, but not so much that I could not finish going to. Every night I search the clubs of Hongdae for her, and finally on the third night, I found her. She looked surprised more than angry when she saw me. She dragged me out of the club and pulled me to the back alley.

“I told you not to come!” She glared at me.

I said nothing, except look at her.

She was dressed decently in a bartender uniform. At least she is still my Iseul.

“Go away!” She pushed me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head.

“This is not the place for you, Iseul ah.” I said.

“There’s no place for a failure like me but here, alright? Now, go.” She said.

“No. Not unless you come with me.” I said.

“My mom told you to come?” She asked.

I bit my lower lip.

“I knew it.” She muttered.

“They are worried for you. Come home with me.” I said.

She said nothing except smirked at me before walking off. She blended into the sea of people, preventing me from holding onto her.

Since I knew where she is, I went to look for her every night. She eventually gave up shooing me away, instead, she got close to men, allowing them to touch her and kiss her on her cheek or whatnot. I was furious, definitely, but I knew Iseul, if I went hard on her, she would rebel even more.

Every night, I had to practice a lot of self endurance so I would not end up punching people in the club and creating a scene, but one night, I had enough. I was tired from the endless practice, and at the same time annoyed that Iseul was doing this to herself. I got up and smacked away the hand of the guy who was touching her.

“WHAT!?” He yelled at me.

“Get your filthy hands off her.” I hissed.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” He shouted, his breath stink of alcohol.

“I said, get your FILTHY hands OFF her.” I yelled.

He tried to punch me in my face, but I dodged him easily. I grabbed Iseul’s arm and dragged her out of the club forcefully.

“Come with me!” I said, grabbing her arm.

“Let go! Who are you to tell me what to do!?” She pushed me away.

“As your friend, I’m telling you to come back with me. NOW!” I yelled into her face.

I stared at her in shock when she slapped me across my face.

“You…” I muttered, unable to digest the fact Iseul, my best friend, just slapped me.

“What? Surprised?” She asked.

 “Come back with me, Iseul ah. Your parents are worried. What are you doing in a place like that? What went wrong? You were not like that in the past.” I pleaded.

“I am hopeless like that. You may want to go further just in case you get associated with me and it tarnishes your reputation.” She said.

“I never thought that way.” I said.

“Just go away, Yoon Doojoon. Leave me to be.” She said.

“No way.” I grabbed her arm tightly.

“Let go now. Or if I scream, you’re going to get it.” She threatened me.

“Sure. Anything. Do whatever you please. Just as long as you come back with me.” I said.

“What are you trying to prove here by acting like that!?” She yelled into my face.

“That you are my friend and I love and care for you very much?” I asked.

She spat into my face.

“Friends? What friends? Come on, Doojoon ah. Forget it, okay?” She said.

What did she just say? Forget it? Our friendship?

“How could you say things like that so easily?” I asked, feeling the ache in my heart.

“What rights do you have to call me your friend!? You’re now all handsome and on the route to fame, why would you want a friend like me? The five guys are enough for you. You don’t need another burden.” She said.

Iseul ah, what are you talking about? What burden?

“Who said you’re a burden?” I asked.

“If you treat me as a friend, then leave me to be. I’m very happy like that. I like the club. I meet a lot of people. I receive a lot of love. It’s almost like you, no? You meet people and receive a lot of love too. Just that mine is in a club and yours is on stage.” She said.

“You were not like that. What happened?” I asked.

“Nothing happened, Doojoon. I have and will always be like that.” She said.

I shook my head, looking at her. You’re not like this, Iseul. You’re not.

 “What do you know about me? You know nothing. The Iseul you think you know is a just a cover. This is the real Iseul. Rotten like that. Are you ashamed?” She asked.

“I would never be.” I said softly.

Instead of being ashamed of you, Iseul, I am more ashamed of myself.

“Good for you. Let me go. I have work to do.” She said.

“No. Don’t go back in there, Iseul ah. Your parents are worried, and…” She kicked me in my stomach before I could finish talking.

“Stop bootlicking my parents. If you like them so much, then go register yourself under my family registry. They’ll be more than happy to have a successful son like you rather than a rotten daughter like me.” She said.

When did Iseul learn to talk so rudely?

“Stop saying that about your parents! They have never thought like that! What’s wrong with you!?” I shouted.

She smiled at me, or more like smirk.

“Is something wrong?” A voice from behind her asked.

A heavily tattooed man stood behind Iseul, but was staring at me. I have no issues with tattoos, I think they are quite nice in a way, if you get it for a meaningful purpose, but this man here, his tattoos covered so much of his skin that I think he would have no issues walking out of his house because no one would realize he is actually not dressed.

“No.” Iseul said.

“Is he harassing you?” He asked.

“No. Let’s go.” Iseul said, tugging onto his arm.

He was still staring at me.

“You are a smart girl, Iseul ah! You have eyes too, and the last time I checked, they were working well!” I yelled.

“What are you trying to imply?” That man pushed me against the wall.

Iseul, why are you not stopping him? Why are you just staring? I am your best friend, Iseul ah~

“Just look at yourself. Do you think you’re a good influence to Iseul?” I asked him.

“Iseul doesn’t need a like you to teach her how to live her life.” He said.

“Well, she doesn’t need a man like you to…” Iseul pulled that guy away before I could finish.

My relieve was cut short when she slapped me on my cheek twice and kicked me in my chest.

“ off, Doojoon. Who do you think you are to be here controlling my life? If you’re not happy with the way I live, then look away. Besides, it’s not like it would affect you in any way even if I get myself killed on the streets. Just off, okay?” She said coldly.

What did you just say, Iseul? Are you really… saying these to me?

“How can you say this? We’re…” She cut me off before I could finish.

“No. We’re not friends. As of this moment, we’re not friends. I don’t like ing nerds like you. And seriously, Doojoon, maybe you want to give up auditioning. You know how people always say to give yourself three chances and if you still don’t succeed, it means you’re not cut out for it. Give up already. With this horrendous face, lousy pronunciation and irritating voice, even if they do debut you, you are not going to last long. Being with the group of loser friends, you think you guys would really make it big? Come on~” She said.

Iseul and I insult each other on a daily basis. This is how our friendship works. But this time, her insults seems so real that it hurts so badly.

“Do you know why people recycle things? Because they have no money to buy new stuff, and they do not want to appear poor, so they come up with this glamorous explanation but we all know what it means deep down inside. You and your group of friends, you guys fit that definition perfectly. They are taking pity on you guys that’s why they are training you and giving you hope that you’ll debut some day. But you are aware of it, aren’t you? You’re terrible. From head to toe, you are just gross.” She said.

I felt tears sting the back of my eyes. How can you say this to me, Iseul ah? Anyone can insult me like that, but you, Iseul, I thought we are best friends? You were the one who told me that it is okay to fail. You were the one who always comforted me. But why? You don’t mean it, right, Iseul? Tell me you don’t.

“Ahh~ Cry. That’s all you can do? Cry and go back to Umma? Look at you. A little bit of insult and you’re already trembling like that.” She said.

“Don’t waste your breath on this loser. Let’s go in and get a drink.” That man said, putting his arm over her shoulders.

“Iseul ah~” I grabbed her hand.

“I SAID NOT TO TOUCH ME!!!” She yelled, pushing me away roughly.

The next thing I knew, I felt an impact on my body and then, I was flung into the air and onto something hard. I landed onto the ground with my body aching like crazy. What just happened?

 “DOODOO!!!!!!!!!!” I heard Iseul yell. I smiled slightly to myself at that nickname.

 “Doo! Can you see me? Are you okay!?” She shook me

I nodded, staring at her blankly.

“Come on, Iseul ah~ Let’s go. It’s just a little knock. He wouldn’t die.” That man said.

“ off! Get the hell back inside!” She yelled at him.

Ahh, this is my Iseul now~

“Where are you hurt? Huh?” She asked, checking my body.

Hurt? Am I hurt? I’m not hurt, Iseul ah. Now that you’re back, I’m not hurt.

“I’ll send you to the hospital. Can you walk?” She asked, helping me up.

 “Come.” She said, helping me stand.

***
I opened my eyes to find myself in a brightly lit room. I turned and saw Iseul asleep on the sofa. I was about to call out to her but I ended up coughing like crazy. She shot up and looked at me in shock, then she hurried to me.

 “Are you okay?” She asked, pouring me a glass of water and patting my back gently.

“Drink slowly.” She said.

“Better?” She asked.

I smiled and nodded.

“Why are you smiling like that?” She laughed.

“You care for me.” I said.

She looked away, blushing slightly, making me want to pinch her cheek.

“Iseul ah, I…” I said.

“I did not mean any of the insults I threw at you last night.” She said before I could finish.

I knew it. I knew it, Iseul ah. I knew it.

“I’m serious. I did not mean anything I said. I’m sorry.” She said.

“But… what you say is true.” I said.

She shook her head, looking worried.

“It’s not. It’s really not. You’re so ing handsome I can’t even…” She said.

I laughed out loudly. What a lie, Iseul ah~ But I like it.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly.

“Don’t go back there anymore, Iseul ah. That place is not for you. You are not like that.” I said.

“Then where can I go, Doo? I’m not as smart as you. I flunk everything. No school will accept me. I’m hopeless.” She said, sinking into the space next to me.

“You’re not. You’re not.” I said.

“Let’s drop it, okay?” She sighed.

“If you want to go back there, then you better prepare for my regular visits.” I said.

“You’re so busy. Where would you have time for me?” She said mockingly.

“I’ll make time. ‘I have no time’ is a ed up excuse. We have 24 hours in a day, if we really want to do something, we’ll do it no matter what. Even if we are so dead tired, we’ll drag ourselves to do it. It’s not about having no time, it’s about wanting to do it or not. And in my case, I want to do it, so even if I have to crawl there, I’ll crawl.” I said.

I almost lost my best friend. I am not going to risk letting history repeat itself.

“Are you stupid or what!?” She shouted at me.

“Maybe?” I smiled.

She smacked my arm. Although it hurt, but it was a good kind of pain, I guess. Is there such thing as a good kind of pain?

“Sorry~” She stuck out her tongue.

“What is a little pain if I can get my best friend back?” I asked.

“You’re an idiot.” She said with a slight pout.

“I’m serious, Iseul ah. If you go back there, I’ll just come to you every night. If I get knocked down by cars, motorcycles, an airplane, whatever… I’ll still go.” I said.

“But I…” She muttered.

“There’s always a way. I’ll help you, if you let me.” I held onto her hand.

She went over to the other side of my bed and squeezed herself into the bed with me. I laughed at her cute actions. It was nice having her so close to me.

 “Why are you crying?” I asked, surprised when I saw her crying.

“You… Did you… hear what I said… just now?” She asked.

“Did you say anything?” I asked.

“I’m calling the doctor.” She said as she ran out.

Did she say anything? What is wrong? Why is she crying? I was even more confused when the doctor came and took me for a series of scans and tests which exhausted me so much.

 “What’s going on?” I asked.

 “Just rest for now.” She forced a smile.

“It’s my body. I have the rights to know.” I said.

“Rest.” She said, tucking me into bed.

I was too tired to go on asking her. I fell asleep quicker than I thought I would. I heard talking when I regained conscious. Seems like Iseul and the doctor are discussing something. I opened my eyes slightly to see the doctor pointing at some paper and explaining something to Iseul who looked pale.

 “It seems like he is suffering from a temporary hearing loss due to the trauma his head received when he hit the lamppost.” The doctor said.

Temporary hearing loss? I am deaf? But I can hear, can’t I? Did they get it wrong?

“You didn’t say he…” Iseul muttered.

“It did not look that serious before, but now that we looked closer with scans and in-depth tests, it shows.” The doctor said.

I had no idea what was going on. I am not deaf, am I? I still could hear, although it seems like my left ear is a little blocked, but…~ I stuck my finger into my right ear as I watch them, and true enough, I heard nothing. How is this possible?

“Is he going to regain his hearing?” Iseul asked.

“In most cases, he should recover in two months, or the most, six.” He said.

“So, he’ll regain his hearing?” She asked again.

“In most cases, yes.” He said.

“How about in other cases?” She asked, looking as though she was about to burst into tears.

“Huh?” The doctor looked surprise.

“Didn’t he say in most cases, I’ll regain my hearing. I’m a very normal person. Nothing unique will happen to me.” I said, smiling at them.

Iseul stared at me in shock.

“Thank you.” I thanked the doctor.

“I’m so sorry!!!” Iseul broke down the moment the doctor left. I was more shocked  by her actions than by the fact I am now deaf in my left ear. Is this even normal?

“Hey~ Why are you crying? It’s fine It’s just two months, at most six. And besides, I still hear you with my right ear.” I consoled that silly girl.

***
Iseul went with me for all the checkups, but each time we left, she would be sulking. It was difficult, but I had come to terms with my deafness in my left ear. The company was lost as to what to do because of debut date was near, but I proved to them that I was still functional despite only being able to hear with one ear. The only person who was unconvinced was Iseul.

She blamed herself for what happened to me, and although she did not say it in words, I could tell from her actions. She treated me with overflowing love and care that I felt like she was doing it out of pity some times. What could I say to tell the girl that none of this is her fault?

On the other hand, she had quit her job in the club and went back to school. This time, it was me who accompanied her, or rather, we accompanied each other. While I practiced, she would sit at the back of the studio and studied. I have never seen Iseul study so hard in all the years that I known her. It was to the point at times I have to pull the book away from her to get her to take a break.

“I have to finish that!!” She insisted.

“You have to eat your meal first.” I said, feeding her.

“I’m glad you’re studying, Iseul ah. But you need to take care too, right?” I asked.

 And so we started looking out for each other like that. She made sure I did not practice too much while I made sure she did not study too much.

“DOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She screamed over the phone when she called.

“What!? What!?” I winced at the sudden loudness.

“STRAIGHT A’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She screamed.

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed, startling everyone in the studio.

They stared at me blankly.

“ISEUL GOT STRAIGHT A’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I announced.

They cheered and went crazy. Since Iseul was always in the studio with me, the other boys saw her often and they became friends too. That night, all of us went to look for her in her house and surprised her with a cake. We spent the whole night partying in her living room.

***
“I’m afraid… your left ear has become permanently deaf.” The doctor broke the news.

I smiled and nodded.

“YOU SAID SIX MONTHS AT MAX!!!!!!! IT’S BEEN EIGHT MONTHS!!! AND NOW WHAT!? PERMANENT!?” Iseul yelled suddenly, grabbing the doctor by his collar, shocking the poor man.

“I said in most cases!” He defended himself, looking scared.

“Sorry, sorry. Iseul! Enough!” I dragged her out of the room where she collapsed and broke down into tears.

 “Iseul ah~” I hugged her.

“I’m so, so, so sorry. What do we do now with you like that? I’m so sorry.” She cried hard.

“Shhhh~ It’s okay.” I said, smoothing her hair.

“It’s not okay! It’s not! It’s not!!” She cried.

 “I’m used to it already, Iseul ah~ It’s fine. I’m okay. I kind of like only listening with one ear. It’s not so noisy and I can hear things more clearly with no other disruption.” I consoled her.

 “It’s all my fault.” She mumbled.

“It’s not. I lost my footing that day. I stumbled out on the road on my own. Did you really think you’re that strong to push me? Hahaha! Dream on!” I , in hope to make her feel better.

 “Doojoon ah, I…” I cut her off before she could finish.

“Let’s go get some food, shall we? I’m starving.” I said, turning my back.

“Doojoon.” She called out.

I turned to look back at her.

“Or maybe, we should go get a hearing aid instead?” I asked, letting the tears that have been holding back for a long time fall finally.

Although I have came to terms with being deaf in my left ear, but I held on so long for the fact the doctor said it was temporary. But now, it has become permanent. What do I do? How do I live?

“I’m so sorry.” She hugged me tightly.

After we both calmed down, we went to buy a hearing aid. I sat there watching her choose it for me.

“Let’s get a ugly one.” She said.

“Why?” I laughed.

“Only like that would your ear hate it and return your hearing to you.” She said.

I laughed at her words. How unusual, her thinking.

“I’m serious.” She said, pointing at a horrendous looking one.

“NO!” I yelled.

“YES! It’s ugly enough!” She grinned.

I had no idea what colour or shape that thing is in. It was like yellow but like green at the same time. The shape was just weird. It was so ugly.

“Nooooooooooooooooo~~~” I whined.

“That one, please.” She grinned.

The person at the store kept giggling while she took it. 

I could only laugh helplessly when Iseul paid for it and handed it to me with a smile plastered on her face. But as ugly as that thing looked, I wore it till today, because it was bought for me by Iseul. Just that fact alone makes that ugly piece of thing look slightly better.

/END OF FLASHBACK

I glared at the commotion at the door and shush the boys when they came in nosily. They quiet down when they saw Iseul asleep on my lap.

“Sorry.” They apologized softly.

Iseul rubbed her face against my shirt and opened her eyes, staring at me blankly.

“You’re up?” I asked softly, smoothing her messy hair.

“Huh?” She looked at me, confused.

“Damn it! I fell asleep!?” She sat up hurriedly, her head knocking hard against my chin, causing me to bite down on my own tongue.

“Owwwwww~” I winced, holding onto my mouth.

“Are you okay!?” She yelled, grabbing my cheeks.

I could taste my own blood.

“Omo~ Omo~ Omo~” She started to panic when she saw blood.

“I’m fine.” I manage to say.

“Here.” Hyunseung said, pressing a towel against my mouth.

I did not bleed much, but Iseul was pouting excessively.

“I’m fine.” I laughed at her puppy face.

“Why do I keep injuring you?” She said softly, her head down.

“I don’t know. Why?” I .

She looked up at me. I smacked myself mentally. She did not take it as a joke.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled.

“I was just kidding. It’s fine. I hurt myself. Not you.” I said hurriedly.

She shook her head. I looked at the boys for help.

“Yea, Iseul ah~ It was not you. Doojoon stupidly stuck his chin out. I mean, who sticks their chin out when someone is getting up from their lap? Stupid. He is so stupid.” Junhyung said.

How many times does he have to mention the word ‘stupid’?

“It’s hyung’s fault. We are witnesses.” Dongwoon said.

“Yes I'm stupid. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Did I hurt your head?” I asked her.

She shook her head and looked around.

“I should go.” She mumbled as she grabbed her back.

“Iseul ah!” I called out as she left. I tried to stand up but my legs were numb.

“How could you on this!?” Yoseob shouted at me.

“Exactly! You know she’s still sensitive over what happened to your ear!” Hyunseung joined in the scolding.

“Stupid Doojoon is stupid.” Junhyung mumbled but loud enough for me to hear.

“Hyung, you screwed up, again.” Kikwang said.

Dongwoon said nothing, but looked at me with judging eyes.

“I did not expect this outcome.” I muttered.

“OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T!!” They shouted in unison.

“If you did and still acted this way, I’ll…” Junhyung raised his fist in my face.

They are right, although they need not be so fierce. How could I tease Iseul on this? She is sensitive when it comes to this subject.

“Iseul?” I called out when she answered my call.

“Yeap?” She answered.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Sure?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“I didn’t mean to tease you, and it’s really not your fault, so don’t take it to hurt, okay? You didn’t hurt me. I hurt myself.” I said.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Have you eaten?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Are you sleeping soon?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Is there no other answer than ‘yeap’?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She giggled.

“What’s the other answer?” I asked.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeap~” She said.

“You love me, Iseul?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“As a friend?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“How about, as a man?” I asked.

She paused for awhile.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Your man?” I asked.

I heard her gasp softly, and then she was silent. Not the right time, Yoon Doojoon.

“JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!” I forced a laugh.

“ you!” She laughed out.

“ me?” I asked.

“AISH!!!!” She said. I could picture her face right now; annoyed but smiling.

“Lunch tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yeap.” She said.

“Your treat?” I asked.

“Yeap! Yeap!” She said excitedly.

“So excited to treat me?” I asked.

“YEAPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!” She shouted.

“Nahhh~ I’ll treat you.” I said.

“YAYEEEEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She laughed.

“Crazy girl. Go and sleep. Good night and sweet dreams.” I said.

“YEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!” She ended the call.

Iseul ah, I love you, as a best friend, and also as a man. When would you be able to accept me like that? 

***
Iseul: Only like that would your ear hate it and return your hearing to you.

=Doojoon: Yes I'm stupid. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. Did I hurt your head?

Iseul ah, I love you, as a best friend, and also as a man. When would you be able to accept me like that?