Today, it’s the birthday of Jieun’s father, Jang Siwon.

Everyone had already planned ahead of the birthday event especially Jieun.

It was her first time celebrated his birthday with him. Her father.

Just thought of this is enough to make her feel happy.

Howon glanced at his wife and just smiled like she was.

Jieun shook her hand in front of Howon when she saw him froze and stared blankly at her.

“Yeobo, are you okay?” She said and placed her hand on his forehead.

“No fever. Or you feel pain anywhere?” Jieun asked and moved her hand on his stomach.

“Here? Or here?” She moved her hand again to his chest.

Understood she was worried about him, he just smiled and shook his head.

“I’m okay.”

“Then, why you acted so weirdly?” Jieun asked curiously.

“Just happy that you are so happy today.” He said and brought her to the car.

“Father is waiting for us. Let’s go!” He said and then turned around to yell at his son.

“Yah, Lee Shinwoo! What takes you so long?”

“Aigo! My grandpa’s birthday! Of course I need to perform for him!” He said and walked down with his Pororo’s outfit.

“What are you doing?” Howon looked at him speechlessly.

“Grandpa said he wants to watch me dance to Pororo song!” He smiled and drifted into the car.

“Appa! Go!” He said and slammed the door, leaving Howon at his spot, shaking his head to his son’s weird act.

About 20 minutes later, they arrived at the hospital. Shinwoo took the cake in his hand and ran on the hallway while Howon stood besides her and walked her slowly and carefully to the room as Jieun was about to due in 3 more weeks.

“Do you want to rest for a while?” Howon asked, afraid that he might tire his wife.

“No, I want to meet my father first.” Jieun said.

“So happy to see other man?” Howon said and pretended he was jealous. Jieun smiled to him and replied, “Yes.”

Well, as Howon knew she was just joking, he just smiled to her and said, “Father might waiting for us. Let’s go”

Just arrived outside of the room, they saw Mrs Jang standing outside with her teary eyes.

“What’s happen?” Howon asked.

Upon seeing Jieun and Howon, she immediately burst into tears as she was too heartbroken… Heartbroken with the sudden news.

“Your father…. The doctor said he might unable to stand until tonight…”

Hearing these words from Mrs Jang, Jieun and Howon froze at their spots. Jieun was shocked so much that her mind just went blank.

She felt dizzy and almost lost her balance. Fortunately, Howon quickly wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Jieun ah, are you okay?” He asked. Jieun smiled bitterly while shaking her head.

How could she be okay when her father was about to… How could she?

Understood how she feel, Howon just caressed her head and told her not to cry.

“Aunty, please don’t cry. If not, father will feel upset and sorry to us. Since we can’t do anything to him, we should at least let him have a happy moment for today…before he left…”

Mrs Jang and Jieun nodded their heads and wiped away their tears before they stepped into the room again to join Shinwoo and Siwon.

When they stepped into the room, they saw him lying weakly on the hospital’s mattress. They watched him tried hard to smile even though he knew that it might take all his might to do so. Yet, he insisted to do so. He didn’t want to see them cry for him. Not before he departed this world…

When Jieun saw his pale face, she felt a piercing pain inside her heart. The same feeling that she had before her mother’s death. And today, this feeling came back again…

“Grandpa, why do you look so ill today?” Shinwoo asked in worry.

“Sorry, Shinwoo. Grandpa is tired today.” He answered weakly.

“Isn’t it? Then, nevermind, Shinwoo will wait until grandpa feeling better. When grandpa recovers, Shinwoo will introduce my future wife to you!” Shinwoo smiled happily as he thought of Hyeri.

At the same moment, Siwon looked at his grandson but he didn’t answer. He just put on a bitter smile as he didn’t know whether he should answer him the truth or not. The truth that he couldn’t make to this promise.

“Grandpa, today Shinwoo had prepared some special performance for you! Tada! Pororo coming!” He said and took a toy mic in his hand, singing and dancing to Pororo’s theme song.

It was indeed a cheerful performance, but nobody was able to smile except Siwon. Everyone’s heart was heavied with their emotion, which people gave it a name called sadness.

Touched by the birthday performance by his grandson, Siwon smiled joyfully even though his body is getting lighter and weaker, that he felt like his soul was about to escape from his body, and flied to the heaven to meet someone he missed for a long time ago.

“Okay, grandpa, now let’s make a wish!” Shinwoo said while taking out a cake from a container.

“This is the cake that we made for you, grandpa! Did it look delicious?” Shinwoo asked, his eyes kept on blinking while waiting for his reply.

“Ermm. It must be really really delicious!” He smiled when he saw the mini bears placed on top of the cake. The five of them on it. Howon, Jieun with baby in her arms, Shinwoo, wife and I…

He faked a smile when he saw it. It will never be this way anymore after today.

“Shinwoo, grandpa is a bit hungry, can I eat the cake?” He asked.

“Huh? But you haven’t made a wish!” Shinwoo complained angrily.

“Well, our Shinwoo still haven’t sing me a birthday song. How can I make a wish just in that way?” Siwon smiled to his grandson.

“Oh! Shinwoo forgot it! Sorry!” He said and began to sing a cute version of birthday song.

Siwon smiled happily when he heard the cute song from Shinwoo.

In his heart, he made 3 wishes.

Dear god, please continue to let this child grows happily and healthily like the one I saw right now. Keep him away from sadness and always having the positive thinking.

Then, I asked from you, Father, to help Jieun successfully give birth to her baby girl. Make sure that she and the baby will be safe. That’s my second hope.

And the last wish of mine for my last birthday is… please give your strength to my family so that even when I left, they will be okay and go on with their life especially to my current wife and my daughter. Please, that’s my last request to you, Father.

“Okay, I already made my wishes.”

“What is it? Can you tell me?” Shinwoo pleaded, wanting him to tell him his wishes.

“I can’t tell you because it’s my secret.” Siwon said and smiled to his grandson.

Yes, a secret that you will never know…

“So, can I eat the cake right now?” He asked, gaining a nod from Shinwoo as his reply.

He took a spoon from Shinwoo and took a scoop of cake.

“Did it taste good?”

“Ermm..very nice..” He said and took another scoop again.

However this time he wasn’t scooping the cake into his mouth.

He was scooping a bear… the bear that represented him.

He looked at the bear and placed it right into his mouth, let it dissolve slowly and slowly inside of it.

He then looked back at the cake and smiled.

Now, it looked complete. More complete without me soon.

He said, with his gaze fixed on the four bears that remained on top of the cake.

“Howon, can you come over with Jieun?” He said weakly.

After hearing his last request, Jieun and Howon stepped forward. They saw him stared at them for a long time before he opened his mouth slowly and said his last wish.

“Howon ah.”

“Yes, father.”

“Do you still remember on your wedding day, what had you promise me?”

“Yes, I remember. I remember I had promised father to take care of Jieun no matter what happens.” He said and gave a sincere look to his father. Siwon smiled in relief and placed his daughter’s hand again to Howon.

“Remember our promise, Howon.”

“Yes, father.” He said and took over Jieun’s hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG_Ukr-i50w (background music)

In a sudden, Siwon felt like his strength and energy was depleting. Faster and faster than he expected.

Many thoughts flashed in his mind about the wonderful moments with his wife, his son-in-law, his daughter and his grandson. It was his happiest moment but also the last memories that he had. Everything he can only recalled for the last time…

For the last time, he looked around the room. For the last time, he felt his heart was beating. For the last time, he smiled so happily. For the last time, he appreciated his eyes and the sight the God had given to him. For the last time, he appreciated his ears and the sound they had brought to him. For the last time he smelt and appreciated his nose and the fresh air surrounded him.

He slowly turned to face his wife and appreciated all the things that she had done for him. Taking care of him well without any complaint. He stared at her and admired her beautiful face for the last time.

“Chaewon, can I touch your face?” He said to his wife.

His wife didn’t say anything and just nodded her head as she still tried hard to hold back her tears.

He closed his eyes and slowly moved his hands on her face.

“This is your forehead, I remember now. This is your eyebrows, I remember now. This is your eyes, I remember now. This is your nose, I remember now. This is your ears, I remember now. This is your lips, I remember now. And this is your face, I remember now.

I remembered all of it clearly now. I’m sorry that I cannot be with you for the remaining life. But don’t worry. I already remembered your face clearly so I will definitely recognize you in my next lifetime. So, don’t pretend you didn’t know me by then.” He put on his last joke, trying to make her smile to him for the last time.

“Don’t worry, even if you’re lost, I will always be there for you.” she whispered.

“Thank you, Chaewon. I’m sorry and I love you.” He said and took his last breath. Slowly and deeply.

Chaewon watched him taking his last breath. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything, instead she put on his favourite warm smile and just let the tears flowed down and wet her cheeks.

Siwon put his hand on her face and caressed it before he smiled once more for the last time.

Thank you and Goodbye, my wonderful family.

He closed his eyes, with his soul slowly rose to the sky and entered the gates of Heaven.

Jieun cried hardly when she saw her father lying lifelessly on the mattress. No more response.

Howon embraced her in his arms and just let her cried out her pain while Shinwoo looked at his mommy and patted gently on her back.

“Daddy, why grandpa sleeps so peacefully?” Shinwoo asked innocently.

“Well, Shinwoo ah. Grandpa didn’t fall asleep. He just went to another world to accompany your lonely grandma.”

“Is it? Is there nice? Can Shinwoo follow him there?”

“Well, Shinwoo still young so you are not allowed to go there yet. But one day, Shinwoo will meet your grandpa again when Shinwoo is old enough to emigrate there.”

“Ermm. Just hope grandpa will wait for me patiently by then.” He said, coming back to his mommy’s side and comfort her.

“Mommy, don’t cry. You still have Shinwoo. Shinwoo will follow grandpa’s wish and make mommy happy. So, don’t cry, okay?” He said, continued to caress her head without knowing that his grandpa had departed this world.

Now, the cheerful noises were nowhere to be heard. Instead, it was replaced by the sound of sadness and the silence of death…

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Today, I'm sorry for updating this page lately.

Actually I had almost finished this update 2 hour ago,

But on the moment I typed this,

my heart hurt a lot when I recalled back to my childhood memories.

the loss of my parents in an accident when I'm just a 6 years old kid,

how my life changed in just one day,

how I turned into an orphan and being looked down by my friends,

with the rich kids called me "Killer" as they thought I'm the person who brought the bad luck to my parents.

how I suffered from depression,

how I ever had the thought of ended my life to meet my parents in the heaven,

telling them how much I missed them like hell.

However, i'm thankful that I have a happy family now.

With my parent's bestfriend brought me over to their hometown, Malaysia

and brought me up to who I am now.

Even though people talked back at them

saying how stupid they are to adopt me as their daughter

yet, they still care of me and fight back to those who laughed at me

cared me like their own daughter when I just ignored them when they first brought me to their unfamiliar hometown.

Because I'm sorry to them. So, I determined to be a daughter that they can proud of.

Now, I'm studied in Australia and major in Medical and Psychology field. An upcoming doctor.

So, no matter how, I will definitely not going to give up.

as this is the last way I can let those people who looked down at me

acknowledged me with their whole heart and mind

and the last way for me to take the certificate to my parents as a gift

telling them they're not stupid to adopt me as their daughter.

and how much I appreciated them for coming to my life

and how thankful I am to them for brighten my life with love.

Daddy, mommy, Chloe promised you will stay strong so that she can graduate

and be a good doctor that you can proud of.

Waiting for me.. for 2 more years...

I promise...

Kim Hoeun

2012.12.29

23:59