18 years 

 

Suho awoke to Yixing's sleeping face  and a slight headache, but nothing too major. He looked round the room, it was Baekhyun and Chanyeol's house. He saw Xiumin and Chen passed out on the living room floor, he vaguely remembered them having somewhere around the house last night. He groaned and began to sit up when soft hands closed around his wrists. 

 

"Morning" Yixing chuckled before rubbing his eyes. "How are you?" 

 

Suho gave a half smile "I'm okay, did you sleep well" 

 

"Yes" Yixing breathed and looked round the room to check if anyone was eavesdropping, he glanced briefly at Xiumin and Chen on the floor. "About last night..." 

 

"Oh, we can forget about that. It was nothing" Suho said absentmindedly and Yixing frowned 

 

"I don't want to forget" 

 

"Then what would you like Yixing?" Suho hissed exasperatedly "It was a mistake" 

 

"It wasn't" Yixing whispered looking down "we both know it wasn't" 

 

Suho frowned even harder "Look I don't know what you're trying to prove but I don't want to fight" 

 

"Let me take you away" 

 

"Where?" Suho sighed biting his lip, he had work next week. 

 

"I'll take you to China, lets go to Hong Kong, or I could take you to Changsha, lets just go" Yixing said almost pleadingly, he laced Suho's fingers with his and tangled their legs together. "We just need to work this out, we need to learn" 

 

"Work what out?" Suho croaked "Learn what?" 

 

"I've broken you're heart, I realize that now" Yixing's breath shook "And I'm sorry, I'll never be able to take it back but, I-" 

 

Suho shook in terror "Who told you that?" 

 

"Joonmyun I-" 

 

"Who told you?" 

 

"Okay fine, I heard you sleep talking a couple of nights ago" 

 

"So I had to tell you in my sleep to make you realize?" Suho laughed bitterly "Do you even realize what you've done to me? Yixing I'm irreparable" 

 

"Joonmyun  I'm sorry" Yixing croaked "I'm sorry, sorry will never be enough, but it's all I have" 

 

"I spent years, years trying to get over you and now this" Joonmyun snapped "I can't- I can't deal with this right now, I have to go- don't expect me home" Joonmyun got up, tearing away his hands from Yixing's, not looking into the others crestfallen eyes, because other wise he'd break. He slammed the door closed and broke out into a sprint. 

 

His only thoughts being- Take me away from here. 

 

---- 

 

Chen groaned as he arose to a sniffling sound, he opened his eye immediately with worry, what if it was Minseok or the kids? Except the ground was hard, the kids weren't in the house, wait- this wasn't his house, and Minseok was snoring softly next to him. 

 

"Whose there?" Chen called out "Joonmyun is that you?" He sat up and walked towards the stifled sobs. 

 

"Yixing? What's the matter?" Chen looked stunned, he'd never seen Yixing look so upset. 

 

"I don't want to talk about it" Yixing whispered through sobs "I'm too late" 

 

"Nothing is ever too late" He replied adamantly gingerly placing himself next to the shaking male. "I'm guessing this is about Joonmyun-" 

 

"Don't say his name" Yixing cried harder and Jongdae could feel the tears well up in his eyes too. He was never good with tears. So he just sat there and let the tears fall alongside Yixing's. 

 

"Minseok" Jongdae hiccuped "Minnie!" 

 

Minseok opened his eyes at the voice of his husband by the sofa, he could here the sobbing and sighed, thoughts of who, what and why coursing though his head. 

 

"Jongdae why are- Yixing? What's wrong?" 

 

"He doesn't want to talk about it" Jongdae wrapped his arms around Yixing protectively and Minseok just looked at Yixing worriedly. 

 

"It doesn't take a genius to work out its about Joonmyun" Minseok muttered quietly before heading to the kitchen to make some coffee and maybe get some aspirin for well- everybody. He felt Jongdae's strong hands grasp his own in desperation. 

 

"Don't leave" 

 

"Jongdae I'm just going to make coffee I'll still be here" 

 

"O-okay, just don't leave me" 

 

It was almost never that Jongdae would get like this, for him to act vulnerable. But Jongdae was terrified of being left alone, he couldn't stand it. It made Minseok heartbroken to see Jongdae beg him to stay because it wasn't like he'd ever considered leaving in the first place. 

 

"Jongdae, I've been beside you since you'd learnt to crawl, I'm not going to just up and leave you now" 

 

"Joonmyun loved me for eighteen years and he still left" Yixing said quietly and freaking Jongdae to the point of getting on his knees.

 

"Don't leave, don't leave, don't leave" 

 

"Yixing don't be silly, no one falls out of love with someone they've loved for most their life, you hurt him deeply Yixing, you really destroyed him he just needs to build himself up again and he needs your help to do it so if you're not going to love him like he deserves please leave him alone" Minseok said gently, but with a tone of authority only the eldest of the group had, it was something Minseok prided in himself that when it all came down to it, they all looked to him for guidance. 

 

Jongdae sat there looking lost, grabbing at Minseok's calves so that he couldn't move even if he wanted to 

 

"Jongdae listen to me, I'm never going to leave you, I love you, no matter how bratty you are" He crouched down slowly before hugging Jongdae tightly "Don't act like this, It breaks my heart Jongdae, how could you ever think that I would leave?" 

 

Yixing watched silently as his own tears rolled down his cheeks, he was never close to anyone other than Suho, Luhan and Kris, he realized now his mistake of not bothering to get to know the others to the same degree, Victoria created a rift between himself and his friends and he was filled with regret. 

 

"Why are there a whole lot of sobbing idiots in my house?" Baekhyun chuckled lazily before noticing the tense atmosphere "um guys? Is something wrong?" 

 

"No one wants to talk about it" Minseok rolled his eyes "Maybe we should call someone Yixing's more open to, like maybe Luhan or Kris-"

 

"No, no" Yixing shook his head "it's fine, I don't want you to feel like that" he looked at the trio sadly "I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough to get to know you guys"

 

"Yixing, you do know us okay? You can tell us anything" Baekhyun said softly. 

 

"Joonmyun ran away from me, I just I asked him to go away with me and he ran for the hills" 

 

Baekhyun widened his eyes "You know he's head over heels in love with you right? Been that way since high school, middle school even" 

 

"Yeah I know, that's why I thought it would be good" 

 

"He's running away from you to protect himself" 

 

"I love him though, I told him so" 

 

"Look he'll be back please don't worry, I'll call Kris and tell him to touch base with him okay? Just don't worry about it Yixing, love is a horrendous thing sometimes, believe me" 

 

"Morning!" Luhan poked his head through the door chirpily, his mood seemed to have improved dramatically from last night, although his smile faltered when he saw Jongdae staring off into space with wide eyes- because that never happened "Sehun come here, look, Jongdae looks like he's just seen a ghost!" 

 

"Luhan" Baekhyun called "You haven't seen Suho round have you?" 

 

"Suho? No, I thought he was here?" 

Luhan peered out to the hallway to check Sehun and Mei were coming. "Sehun did you see Suho coming in?"

 

"No why?" 

 

Luhan shrugged and pointed to Baekhyun. 

 

"He ran away" Minseok muttered while carding his hand through Jongdae's hair in an attempt to calm him down "He's scared of getting hurt" 

 

Sehun scoffed "Honestly how much worse can it get"  

 

"I wouldn't say it got worse" Baekhyun trailed off "It's just gotten a little bit confusing"

 

"Dad, what are they on about?" Mei frowned while tugging on Sehun's shirt "I want to go home" 

 

"We just got here darling" Sehun said exasperatedly " Go read one of those books over there" 

 

"I don't want to!" Mei stamped her foot "Where's Jaejoong? I want to see him" 

 

Sehun's eyes narrowed just a fraction "Mei, Jaejoong isn't here, you haven't seen him in months and now you suddenly want to see him? I don't get it" 

 

"Well I want to see him now" 

 

"I'm not really-" 

 

"Dad" 

 

"Fine, fine whatever, do you even know if he wants to see you?" Sehun teased while getting out his phone and texting Jongin "Now go and read a book okay? I have a situation to deal with" 

 

"God, there's always a situation with you guys, it's like watching a bloody soap opera" 

 

"I bet it'd get a five star rating" Sehun joked before kissing his daughter on the forehead "Your boyfriend will be here soon and mind your language! God what has Luhan been teaching you, it's not very lady like your boyfriend won't like you cussing all the time how improper miss Oh" he teased cackling at his daughters red face and batting away at the futile thumps on his shoulder. 

 

"Dad!" 

 

---- 

 

"Yixing stop crying" Jongdae begged his eyes still red and nose all blocked but he was getting better and Yixing wasn't so he stopped crying because Yixing needed them. Yixing needed him and crying wasn't going to do anyone any favors. 

 

Kyungsoo smiled sadly and shook his head at Jongdae, his arms folded at his chest. "I'm going to make some lunch, any requests?" He asked pushing away from the doorframe he was leaning on and walking towards Baekhyun and Chanyeol's kitchen. 

 

"Just make whatever, it'll be good no matter what" Minseok waved him off glancing at Jongin who was trailing after his lover like a puppy, he turned to Yixing who hadn't moved from the spot he had woken up, his hair was a right mess and he reeked of vodka. 

It reminded Minseok of Joonmyun once upon a time and instead of feeling satisfied like he thought he would he was just left with a bitter taste in his mouth. Minseok realized he shouldn't of blamed him for Suho's misery because it must hurt even worse knowing that he caused that misery and maybe now he understands Chanyeol's guilt and self hatred. He makes the decision that he'd never put himself in that situation. Because as much as people think otherwise, Jongdae is not a strong person, he never was. So breakable that it scares Minseok sometimes, especially because he hides it with his snarky resolve that fools everyone. But Minseok knew that was a lie, and he kept that secret safe for Jongdae, and he treasured that secret with everything he had because Jongdae was not an open person, so he was privileged to know. 

 

"Kris found him" Sehun breathed looking up from his phone, "he was at your apartment, hiding in the closet" 

 

Everyone let out a sigh of relief and Minseok smiled at Yixing gently "See? Just give it time" 

 

----

 

"Come out" Kris sighed again as he tugged helplessly at Suho's wrinkled shirt cussing when the other didn't budge, why in the world did they give him this job. 

 

"No" 

 

"Joonmyun, please get a grip and just come out, please? Do it for me" 

 

Joonmyun stifled another sob as he unceremoniously dragged himself into Kris's vision. Kris enveloped him in a hug, which was exceeding rare wincing slightly when he left tear stains on his shirt. 

 

"Joonmyun, listen to me- he loves you okay? He does" 

 

"Kris I'm scared" He whimpered curling into Kris a little more, "I'm so, so scared I'll wake up and he'll be gone, I can't let myself believe" 

 

"Joonmyun you know it's okay to chase happiness sometimes? You know Yixing better than anyone, you're his best friend you should know whether he's being genuine or not but even I can tell he is" 

 

Joonmyun sighed looking at Kris with wild eyes, like a deer caught in headlights his face contorted in conflict. "You're right I'm just being stupid" 

 

Kris smiled at patted him on the back "Then come on, I'll take you to him" he got up and began to walk towards the door. 

 

"No!" 

 

"Too bad" Kris hummed, turned and lifted Suho out of the closet and threw him over his shoulder ignoring the kicks and protests that followed "come on you're acting like a preteen girl who got her first period, he loves you and you love him I think you need to get that into your brain" 

 

"Yeah well" Suho huffed punching Kris in the back again. 

 

Kris sighed heartily, over the years he and Tao had been spending a lot of time in China, going over for months at a time, it was home after all but it also meant he hadn't been paying attention to the world around them, becoming increasingly detached, that was a regret he'll have for the rest of his life, both Suho and Yixing needed him, Chanyeol needed him. It was high time he payed his due. 

 

"Hey, come on- stop sulking, it's inevitable you'll have to face him soon enough I don't know what you're worried about, how about we get lunch before we go? Give you some time to get over yourself" he said the last sentence airily clicking his tongue and expecting some witty comeback but all he got was a small hum in agreement. 

 

"Getting over myself sounds like a good start" 

 

Kris snorted "Let's go to the noodle bar across from my workplace, you'll love the peanut noodles I swear" 

 

---- 

 

"So why don't you tell me how you and Tao are doing?" Suho suggested whilst eyeing the other with interest "it's been a while since I've seen you properly" 

 

"Great actually" Kris cleared his throat "we're thinking of taking on a foster kid" 

 

"Really? Girl or boy?" Suho asked surprised, Kris was never fond of kids- even when he was one. 

 

"Boy, his name is Henry, he's Chinese Canadian and is turning fifteen next month" 

 

"A teenage boy? How will you manage?" Suho chuckled and Kros made a face of distaste, rolling his eyes. 

 

"He's a good kid, and Zitao thinks that he'll be good as a big brother for Xia" 

 

"I see" Suho picked up his chopsticks and shoving noodles into his mouth. Kris was right, they were good.

 

"You should go with Yixing" 

 

"Go where?" 

 

"Away, jeez go to France for all I care" 

 

"You know I have work and I can't leave all my responsibilities can you imagine?" 

 

"Suho, you need this, you both do" 

 

Suho just stared at his plate and Kris was about to lecture him when he opened his mouth. 

 

"I need this" 

 

Allow yourself to be saved. After all he's been needing saving all of his miserable life. 

 

A/N 

 

it's been a long time since I've talked to you guys! How are you all? Haha okay so I'd firstly like to apologise for this work vomit that is this chapter and that hopefully next chapter or bonus chapter (whichever comes first) will be better! Annnnd I would also like to say thank you for reading! It's a long journey and this is a monster of a fic so thank you for staying on board with me ! I love you all!