LuXing/Hunhan 18 years. 

 

Yixing and Luhan had been close from the moment they met, being Chinese made them similar, made them familiar. They could feel at home with each other, they learned how to make it in a different country, they helped each other through the waves of gut wrenching homesickness that struck every so often, when the longing for familiarity got all too much. From the moment they met, they had each other's backs no matter what. 

 

Maybe that's why Luhan was overcome with guilt at keeping Suho's secret from him. 

 

----

 

Flashback 

 

"Luhan" Yixing asked as he picked up a dumpling with this chopsticks dipping it in soy sauce. They had gone to a dumpling house in a spontaneous decision to grab a taste of home, they could never match the ones made in Beijing but it was the closest one could get. "Do you know what's up with Joonmyun? He seems so down lately" 

 

Luhan stiffened chopstick halfway between his plate and his mouth freezing in a suspicious manner, Yixing didn't seem to notice though, Luhan internally panicked thinking out an answer in his brain. "I uh, no not really, maybe his cat died or something" 

 

"Luhan. He lives with me" Yixing rolled his eyes unamused "We don't have a cat" 

 

"I don't know, look it's just- I'm not- just-" Luhan stuttered the truth on the tip of his tongue, thankfully his phone rang and he leapt to answer it in a heart beat. "Sehunnie!" He cheered happily but glanced over at Yixing apologetically "yeah sure I'll be there soon, I'm just with Yixing okay see you soon! Love you bye!" He snapped the phone shut looking at it dazed as he usually was after Sehun called him "He wants me to help him with his assignment" 

 

Yixing raised an eyebrow "You're in totally different departments though" he shoved the last dumpling in his mouth huffing slightly "You're leaving me and you never told me about Suho!" 

 

"I have no idea what's wrong" Luhan lied guiltily looking anywhere but Yixing's eyes instead reaching for his wallet and taking a few bills out to place on the table "I'll ask Sehun maybe, but I have to go, it was nice catching up!" He spoke in mandarin and the words flowed easily through his ears, comforting him. "Zai Jian!" He called out waving before turning and almost running out of the restaurant. It amazed Yixing how happy Luhan was with Sehun, gladly helping the other with his Advanced Chemistry assignment when he was actually training to be a graphic designer. It made him wonder whether maybe there was something wrong with him and Victoria because if he was being honest, he'd rather not help her do her homework of all things. He shrugged it off easily though because who liked helping anyone with homework, maybe Luhan had a secret love of chemistry- although Luhan at it. Unless Sehun didn't actually mean that kind of Chemistry.  His phone beeped and it was from Suho. 

 

Hey Yixing, I kind of need a little help with this project, you're good at aesthetics right? It's okay if you can't though because I can always ask Kyungsoo or Luhan! 

 

It was his best friend he couldn't say no to him right? He smiled as he swiftly replied saying he'd be there soon and ignoring the voice in his mind telling him that something was terribly terribly wrong. 

 

---- 

 

"Sehun!" Luhan gasped after pulling away from the kiss he had been pulled into after he walked into the door of their dormitory, it was a little cramped but because they only had one bed it made it a little roomier. 

 

"What?" He asked innocently pulling him back to kiss him some more, Luhan could feel light kisses peppering down his neck. His lips were incredibly warm against his neck the cold air had chilled his skin, Sehun had noticed this and gently pulled his jacket off before carrying him into the bedroom, the bed had been turned into a makeshift desk books littering the duvet and scrawls of paper thrown everywhere, Sehun kicked the books onto the floor before putting Luhan in bed and jumping in with him tangling their legs together and touching their foreheads "It's freezing outside, how are you not dying of hypothermia?" 

 

"I thought you needed help dummy!" Luhan whacked Sehun playfully before lacing their hands together tightly "It's okay because you saved me from Yixing" 

 

"Why what weird thing did he do this time? He didn't order jellyfish again did he? That was something I'd rather not relive" Sehun chuckled lightly "I was just lonely and I really missed you" 

 

"I missed you too!" Luhan beamed kissing Sehun's nose right in front of him "he asked about Suho for about the millionth time this week" he sighed his eyes drooping ever so slightly "I really want to tell him, he deserves to know" 

 

"Luhan..." Sehun began his eyes becoming conflicted "He deserves to  know but it's not your job to tell him" 

 

"Deep down he knows anyway" Luhan told himself nodding slightly Luhan looked up at Sehun as if looking for some type of confirmation. 

 

"Sometimes we just can't save other people Luhan, we can try but in the end we need to let people make these mistakes because that's what makes them learn and grow" 

 

Luhan waved a hand his fingers tearing away from Sehun's "I wasn't going to tell him, I think Baek and Chen would hate me if I did" 

 

"No one could ever hate you Luhan" 

Sehun reassured rubbing the elders back soothingly "Aren't you always the one saying let the chips fall where they may? In this moment Yixing loves Victoria, so let him, we all know how it's going to end" 

 

"This is hurting the both of them you know" 

 

"It hurts us to watch, especially with Suho, it hurts to watch but it's not our place to interfere" 

 

"Sometimes I just wish we could fix them" 

 

"You can mend broken things Luhan, remember that" 

 

And Luhan did. He kept that advice close for when he knew he would inevitably have to use it. 

 

---- 

Flashback 

 

"Yixing?" Luhan knocked on the door to his bedroom nervously, he hadn't been in contact in weeks, Victoria had let him in on the way out her face stone hard, it made Luhan shiver slightly. 

 

"Luhan!" A small voice called out, Luhan turned to find a small child peering at him excitedly. 

 

"Hi darling" he said softly kneeling down to hug her "Where's your daddy?" 

 

"He is sleeping, I think he is tired!" The girl struggled her dark brown locks getting in Luhan's face. He pulled away gently and stood up "I'm going to see if he's okay" 

 

She nodded and began to toddle away towards her doll house set up in the corner of the room. He turned the door handle to find the room dark and Yixing sleeping soundly the windows were open leaving a soft breeze and Victoria's side of the bed was made. He didn't want to wake him so he began to walk out of the room when the other murmured.

 

"Joonmyun?" He called out softly slowly opening his eyes and Luhan smiled wistfully at him.

 

"Sorry it's only me! Luhan! You've just disappeared over the past few weeks I was sent to see what's up" 

 

"I've just been so busy looking after Luna is all" Lay slowly sat up "What time is it anyway? Has Vic gone already?" 

 

"It's eleven thirty and yeah she let me in on her way out"

Luhan heard Lay faintly curse and mutter something about always being out before he hauled himself out of bed. "Oh and if you're wondering, Suho went out with Jongdae today, I think they're having a catch up you know old roommates and all" 

 

"Ah I see" was all the other said quickly grabbing his clothes and heading to the bathroom "I should really call him, anyway I'm going to hit the showers make yourself at home" Luhan didn't get a chance to reply before the other marched out of the room. He took this opportunity to look around opening the curtains he took in the blue washed walls and the wooden bed walking over to the bedside he saw a picture of the twelve of them at university graduation black caps and gowns grinning brightly into the camera. It gave Luhan intense nostalgia gazing at the wedding band on his finger, it took him back to the time where he and Sehun sat around all day reading textbooks in the warmth of their duvet, a time where it seemed anything was possible. 

 

Before they fell to the ashes. 

 

Now Luhan stares at the minimalistic room and observes as it mirrors Yixing's state of mind, blank, dull, listless. And Luhan knows better than anyone that Yixing was made for much greater things. He can almost see the black dust showering down on him covering him with soot. He wished he could save him from it. 

 

But Sehun was right after all, people can only save themselves. Metaphorically of course, he won't forget the time Minseok saved Jongdae in the river. People can only save themselves. Or rather people have to make the conscious decision to want to be saved, otherwise the dust will keep falling and you will suffocate in it. 

 

He prays that Yixing chooses to be saved. He prays even harder for Suho. 

 

If he prays hard enough, maybe they'll save each other. 

 

---- 

 

Flash back 

 

"It's okay, we'll get him home" Luhan   gets up from the table and rolls his sleeves up, he can already see Sehun holding Suho up with his shoulders as he stumbled, his face contoured in a bright smiled, but counted with the tears that streamed from his eyes an indescribable emotion somewhere along the lines of trying to smooth out paper that had already been tattered and screwed and torn to an oblivion, if one was to put it abstractly of course. The endless stream of tears made his smile transparent. 

 

"It's okay, should have known, he's terrible with his alcohol" Yixing whispered his eyes staring at his shiny black shoes, polished over and over again, his voice was quiet, laced with a slight hint of bitterness, or maybe it was the champagne and Luhan was maybe just a bit tipsy himself. 

 

He doubted that though, because his champagne flute stood untouched on the peach satin covered tables adorned with masses of white ribbon and white roses. 

It was strange because Yixing had always loved red roses. But he was too busy tending to Suho to give it much thought. 

 

He gave Jongdae a warning look as the shorter male was seething, face pale and knuckles white. It was fair to say Jongdae was hot headed but they didn't need that now, and he told him so through his stern eyes and lips pressed into a thin line. Was he angry at Yixing? Or angry at Joonmyun? It was probably both Luhan reasoned to himself as he caught Suho's other side grunting slightly at the added weight. 

 

"I'll take him" Jongdae said putting hand on Luhan's wrist "You stay here" they looked at each other for a moment, Jongdae's eyes were glassy, it was probably better to remove Jongdae from the situation. 

 

"I'll come get you later" Sehun promised rubbing his hand against his own for a moment before turning his full attention back to Suho. 

 

"Just let me say goodbye to him" 

 

"Yixing" Sehun began holding Suho by the waist "I don't think-" but it was too late and Suho had reached over sloppily planting a soft kiss on the other's mouth promptly before passing out, eyes fluttering closed and falling back slightly, he would have hit the ground if it weren't for Sehun who caught him, jaw dropped in utter shock, Luhan didn't want to look at Jongdae. 

 

"I'll come get you later" Sehun repeated to Luhan as he ordered silently for 

Jongdae to help him, Jongdae glared but nevertheless bent over to pick up Suho's body off the floor, much like one would sweep up broken glass. Glass broken by Yixing. But the world was not by any means a perfect place, in this world things get broken, especially hearts, but what can one expect when hearts are so fragile and humans are so careless, without the armor to protect it, maybe they are all unworthy of keeping such a magnificent thing. But the shiny platinum band he saw glint in the dim light the colour of Chardonnay from the tall white wax candles reminded him why people have hearts. Maybe it's not people who are careless. Luhan was never a massive fan of fate, or psychic connections or even celestial beings, but fate is an explanation to one of the biggest mysteries in the world, the whole universe even. Newton may have figured out the laws of gravity but even he couldn't explain love in full, in detail, he couldn't explain why sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. But maybe in this world every two hearts are connected, you can go to the ends of the earth searching for them and never find them, or you could search and realize that they were right under your nose, or you can be lucky enough to have them from the start. 

 

He was lucky, he thought as he glanced quickly at his own matching wedding band, and remembering why over and over, Suho and Yixing make him believe love was tragic, love was horrible, love meant suffering. Sehun however put him in his place not long after, because love was morning kisses, love was getting in a car together and never looking back, love is cooking together and making an absolute mess because neither person can cook, love was Sehun; and it was beautiful. 

 

And maybe Yixing did smatter a poor boys heart into a million pieces, Luhan can almost see it now, bloody, mangled and lonely. He broke it. That doesn't mean he did it on purpose. That's why Luhan forgives, because some people are just lost and it takes them a while to find themselves. Luhan forgives because he knows Yixing. Yixing wouldn't do that, not on purpose. 

 

Seeing it now, the expression on Yixing's face was pale, lips trembling hands ridged against his sides, his eyes staring at Suho in conflict. But Luhan couldn't tell why or how. 

 

"Yixing" he called out lowly gently grabbing his hand "Let's get you some air" 

 

The other said nothing and allowed himself to be towed outside his heart was beating fast, but he couldn't understand why. He looked over at Victoria's smiling face, and he loved her, he did, but it was only a matter of time before they fell. Maybe they were falling all along. Was there even a point in trying when you're set up to fail so miserably? Was there a time where love, wasn't enough? 

 

"I'm not going to explain this to you but Sehun told you not to, you should have listened. Suho is fragile" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth, honey blonde hair slicked back and bow tie still perfectly straight. 

 

"He was drunk" 

 

"Have you ever thought about why he's always drunk?" Luhan snapped haughtily "Honestly Yixing, read between the lines" 

 

Yixing didn't answer and in all honesty didn't have time to either, Luhan was on a roll. "I care about the both of you, but I want you to stay away from him for a while" 

 

That will only make everything worse he thought, but he didn't answer back, Luhan wasn't ready for that yet. Anger cursed through Luhan's veins, a quiet anger though, controlled. 

 

"Life is a puzzle. A very big puzzle. You may try something and realize that it was the dumbest thing in the world to do, sometimes you try something you know you'll fail and you just put it there for the kicks. And sometimes it fits Yixing. Don't regret your decision. You hurt him and now you have to live with the consequences." 

 

"You were always good at puzzles" 

 

"Not this puzzle." 

 

"Well how do you think I feel about all this?" Yixing burst out turning to face Luhan eyes blazing, dark and hooded "All these secrets and lies aren't we supposed to be friends? Luhan, Joonmyun is my best friend, not anyone else's, I should know out if anyone, why didn't he tell me?" 

 

"Because if you were his best friend, you'd be able to see it yourself!" The regret that followed came like a storm as he watched Yixing's eyes well up with tears. It wasn't fair because really, it wasn't his fault. It was no ones fault. "Yixing, I'm sorry" 

 

"I'd do anything for him. He is my everything Luhan" 

 

"If he's your everything than what is Victoria?" 

 

"I love her" 

 

"Isn't love and being someone's everything the same thing? Don't make the mistake my mother did" 

 

"Luhan you never talk about your family, ever, I don't know what you mean" 

 

Luhan sighed and stared below at the flurry of cars and bright white lights making it glow. The secrets of his family could go on forever. But this one. Was the start of Luhan and his fathers relationship. This was why it was set up to fail. His mother made a mistake in her puzzle. She knew the piece wouldn't fit, but stuck it there anyway, then she found the right piece, and she stupidly tried to keep both. 

 

"You know I'm disowned already" Luhan began thinking of his mother with her long hair and endless strings of pearls "But it wasn't because I was gay" 

 

"Have you told Sehun this?" 

 

"Of course, I told him on our wedding day, he was surprised to see my mother actually came" Luhan remembered Sehun's shocked expression when she waved to him. 

He also remembered the way he gently Luhan's face brushing the tears away and telling him that he was beautiful and perfect and that it didn't matter. "I'm not really disowned, my father isn't biological to me, he hated me since the day I was born" 

 

The shock must have registered on his face because Luhan was smiling grimly at him, hands gripped tightly around the cold railing his fingers shaking. 

 

"My mother never loved my father, I have no idea why she married him in the first place really, he's a douche bag but she did. My father treated her badly- abusing her. He was also never home and always sent workers such as chefs and servants to watch over my mother when he was away and one of those workers was called Li Zhou he was a butler, my mother fell madly in love with him, and vice versa and so obviously they had an affair of course he wanted her to run away with him but she said no, she had a cushy life with my father never wanting for anything- apart from love and he said he didn't want to be someone's dirty secret and left her. He broke her heart and she broke his tragic really. But he did leave her something- she was pregnant, she wanted to keep me but she knew I wasn't my fathers child but she lied and told him so anyway. Turns out my father couldn't have kids and her secret was out, he was looking for an excuse to disown me. My mother just felt guilty" 

 

"That's horrible" was all Yixing said staring at Luhan who hid his face away from sight.

 

"I just want you to know, and I also want you to know the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone" 

 

"I'm not a child anymore Luhan" 

 

"Just remember." He says looking down again at the cars speeding by, like trails of light on an illuminated road. His phone vibrates and he knows that Sehun is waiting for him. 

"I have to go, take care and try not to think of the dystopia back here" he chuckled "There is a lot to fix" 

 

Yixing wonders if Luhan is trying to make him feel bad. 

 

"Yixing no, I'm not" he reads his mind too easily, Luhan was always good at that. Reading him. "Life will always be like this, broken, something will always need tweaking, fixing, we just met a big mistake on the way, and we'll fix it, together but first- enjoy your honeymoon with Victoria" the name is said with a sour tone and Yixing is confused even more so as he looks over at his new wife once more, as if she has the answers. But she doesn't, and Yixing feels more lost than ever. Just like the laws of the universe. He begins to wonder if anyone really has the answers and he'll remain an incomplete theory similar to the theory of relativity, waiting, waiting until someone can tell him the answer. 

 

But then it hits him, he doesn't even know the question to begin with. 

 

---- 

 

Right so a collection of memories of the relationship of Yixing and Luhan :) sorry for not updating you know what writers blocks are like! I'm just starving it off like this and it seemed to fit well with the Suchen chapter so enjoy Luxing! Or Layhan but Luxing sounds pretty :)