The met the Park family at the Ferris wheel in the huge amusement park that was over for the weekend, Chen offered to take Dara for a while whilst the pair had a private talk, Chanyeol put Dara in the care of Sehun and Luhan instead- because they all remember that time Youngdae fell off the swing and no one wants a kid with brain damage. Sehun and Luhan took Dara and baby Mei off to the merry go round; Xiumin took Mindae to the tea cups and Chen to Xiumin’s disapproval took Youngdae on the roller coasters.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol wandered aimlessly around the colourful balloons and carnival music, the kind that made Baekhyun want to rip his ears off, it was silent, almost to quite for the couple that used to banter and tease and make a racket in general, maybe it was because of the solemn morning that had woken them at dawn, maybe it was the hour long drive out to the cemetery, maybe it was Dara not even knowing her mother’s name, it was just a melancholy atmosphere in general. Not even the candy floss or the neon coloured lights could brighten the mood.

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun spoke in a low voice, not threatening- just firm “Stop this”

“It’s easy for you to say” Chanyeol snorted “You’re not the one who lost his whole entire family”

“Look, I’m not going to be empathetic, because let’s face it I can’t, I can’t, I feel sad but I know I can never feel the pain you’re going through then and now”

“Baekhyun, I think we need a break” It was sharp to hear those words, as they hit the air, what made it worse was that it was Chanyeol’s voice saying it

“What? Why?” Baekhyun spluttered, completely taken aback

“Because, I’m just not in the right state of mind to be in a relationship right now okay? I’ve been trying for the past couple of years; it’s just all too much”

“But Chanyeol, I love you” Baekhyun said desperately

“I need this right now Baekhyun and it’s long overdue” Chanyeol pleaded all coldness vanished from his eyes “I just need space to think and to clear my head, because right now everything’s all messed up, like I don’t have a centre anymore, nothing’s connecting me in one place, I’m floating”

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol for a split second with hurt eyes before turning away from the taller male and stalking off into the wild sea of people.

Chanyeol just stared after sadly, before turning to exit the amusement park taking their newly acquired car with him.

----

Baekhyun ran into Luhan in the bathrooms, he groaned- all he wanted to do was be alone and cry his eyes out.

“Baekhyun?” Luhan asked softly looking into Baekhyun’s red eyes “What happened?”

And that was how he ended up eating curly fries and a massive thick shake after Luhan had texted Sehun to keep the kids away as there was a ‘crisis’

“So he just left?”

“Yeah god knows where, he’s probably not even here anymore” Baekhyun grumbled with his mouth still full of food, Luhan tried to respect the fact Baekhyun was having an emotional breakdown and that it was an inappropriate time to be scolding his younger friend on table manners

“Maybe he’s right” Luhan said slowly and hesitantly “You know he’s never really been the same ever since the fire… Maybe he never really got time to heal”

“I don’t even know- I’ve known him since elementary school dammit, why is he running away?”

“Baekhyun, just try think about it okay? I’m not saying it was right for him to leave you like that, because it wasn’t and it was jerky and a whole lot of other things but-“

“I’m trying okay? But honestly we broke up half an hour ago I can’t really understand anything at this point”

 “I know- but you remember that time Sehun and I split up?”

“Yeah for like two days, before Sehun came back to you” Baekhyun muttered, a hint of bitterness in his voice

“Yeah- well that was because we we’re having problems… And it was two months Baek”

“How did you even sort them out?”

“Well… I guess we just kept communicating and fixed our relationship through that”

“Because it’s that ing easy”

“It’s been half an hour”

“We’re talking in circles Luhan- thanks but really I can’t take relationship advice from someone whose biggest bust up lasted two months and during those two months it was still like you were in a relationship”

“Baekhyun you don’t understand the confusion and the pain I felt, it was horrible- sure it was only two months but it felt like forever”

“But this isn’t because Chanyeol wants to be single, this is because, well because!”

“Maybe he just wants to heal his heart without you”

“And that sounds ing horrible”

Luhan sighed “Look just go home Baek, I’ll call Sehun and tell him to hand over Dara and you can go home”

“Look he even left me with his child”

----

It turned out, Chanyeol had taken the car with him- Baekhyun imagined him speeding away halfway round the country, maybe to Bussan or Mokpo; he felt a little glimmer of hope when he saw their new Suzuki parked outside the house.

Of course he was disappointed, the house was empty and there was a note on the table, Baekhyun read it carefully

Baekhyun

I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore, I need to go away and clear my head- I’m sorry, I really am I don’t want to leave it this way- but remember it’s not the end, it’s just a new chapter of our lives

I’m really sorry

I love you

Chanyeol

He screwed it up and chucked the note in the bin.

If he loved me then why is he doing this, why is he leaving me? Why would you leave someone you love?

----

It was very quiet at the Oh household; Luhan and Sehun were just enjoying each other’s company while quietly discussing a certain Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol.

“So you think he never got over his families death in the first place? As in he was acting the whole time?” Sehun asked playing with a bit of his husband’s hair

“Well I’m not entirely sure since I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but that’s my theory- I mean it would be the only explanation for him to suddenly abandon Baekhyun like that”

“Do the others know? Do they know where Chanyeol is?”

“If anyone does know where Chanyeol is it would be Kris…”

“He’s not going to tell anyone anything”

“It’s not fair on Baekhyun though” Luhan pouted “He’s done nothing but support Chanyeol and this is how he repays him”

“Luhan… Remember that time when I said we needed a break?”

“Don’t remind me of that horrible time”

“I’m sorry Hannie” Sehun smiled sadly “I was just so confused and I don’t know why and I mean I knew I still loved you and I wanted to be with you… I just couldn’t for a while- maybe that’s what Chanyeol is trying to say”

“I texted Suho…” Luhan changed the subject after around a minute of trying to come up with rebuttal and failed

“What for?”

“To tell him what happened, because Baekhyun was there for Suho when he was… well I mean he still is but when he was really bad and it’s not so bad now, but what I mean is Baekhyun was there more than any of us were and I think that should Baekhyun ever be in trouble Suho would want to be there for Baekhyun and Suho would know what to do”

“Yeah, but do you think putting two miserable people together is the right thing to do?”

“I just want Baekhyun to feel better” Luhan sighed “I’ll deal with all the baggage afterwards”

“It might come and hit you back in the face” Sehun warned caressing his lover’s cheek

“I know, I know… But I have to try”

----

From: Luhan

To: Joonmyun

Joonie… Baekhyun’s in trouble

Suho stared at the text for several minutes, trying to decipher the meaning, he was in the middle of dinner at Yixing’s house and of course Victoria got called into work again meaning it was just the three of them eating some expensive cut of meat that tasted the same as any other steak Suho tasted, that was before the panic sunk into himself and he quickly fumbled with his phone to text back.

From: Joonmyun

To: Luhan

What?? What kind of trouble? Is he okay?

He got a reply almost immediately

From: Luhan

To: Joonmyun

He’s not okay… Chanyeol left

Suho stared in disbelief at his phone, this couldn’t be happening, Baekhyun and Chanyeol not together? Who even thinks about Baekhyun and Chanyeol not together!?

Certainly not himself

From: Joonmyun

To: Luhan

I’ll be right over

“Yixing?” Suho asked looking up at the male before him, slightly wincing on the inside at his perfection

“Yes?”

“I have to go, it’s an emergency”

“What? What’s wrong? What happened? Is anyone hurt?”

“No… It’s Baekhyun… Chanyeol left him”

Yixing stared at him blankly for a few moments waiting for Suho to laugh it off and say he was joking, and when he didn’t Yixing tried to reassure himself

“You’re kidding”

 “I wish I was”

“Let me come with you”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea”

“Please? I need to go see if he’s okay”

“Oh… alright… But what about Luna?”

“I’ll call a sitter”

----

After stopping at the supermarket to buy various flavoured ice cream, pocky and a whole lot of other fattening junk food that neither of them really needed or wanted for that matter.

They didn’t even think Baekhyun would want it.

But they brought it along with them anyway.

 As they pulled up by Baekhyun’s house they could only see one light on from the living room they carefully approached the house and let themselves in through the key under the mat.

“Surprise!” Suho smiled half-heartedly as he and Lay clambered into the living room with multiple grocery bags.

And as expected Baekhyun was huddled on the sofa with a cheesy romcom film on that was making him bawl his eyes out.

“Go away” Baekhyun said hunching into the woollen blanket

“Please, Baek- don’t push us away”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing to all of us over the years Yixing?” Baekhyun asked coldly looking at Lay straight in the eyes

“W-what?”

“You’ve been pushing us away ever since you met that ”

“Baekhyun!” Suho said astounded and angry “Don’t talk about her like that!”

“Well she is! She ruined everything I ever had with you” Baekhyun cried looking at Lay “And now Chanyeol’s gone too, why do people always leave me?!”

“I- Baekhyun, you know I would never do that on purpose right? I’m sorry, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you when you needed me, for any of you- I’m sorry”

“Shut up!” Baekhyun cried grabbing onto Lay and crushing him in a hug “Why did he leave me hyung? What did I do wrong?”

“Shhh” Lay held him close “You did nothing wrong”

Suho sat down quietly next to the pair and started petting Baekhyun’s hair “That’s right Baek, it wasn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself”

“It’s hard” Baekhyun sniffled “My heart just hurts! It hurts Suho I’m scared! It hurts so badly”

“It’s okay Baekhyun”

“He said he’d never ever leave me, he said we’d be together forever, he said he’d follow me to wonderland”

It was three in the morning when Baekhyun finally got to sleep- after eating two tubs of mint cookie ice cream three packets of pocky and a Choco pie; Suho and Lay sat side by side watching some romcom they didn’t know the name of.

“Are you angry at him?” Suho asked looking up from his lukewarm coffee staring into Lay’s deep brown eyes

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t have the heart to be mad at him” Lay confessed twiddling his thumbs

“Me either”

“Do you think they’ll get back together?”

“I honestly don’t know”

Looks like the hole in the heart tore open

And I can't put up a facade anymore

I don't want to hurt anyone

I'm sorry

A/N

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR KILLING MY HANDS!!! :P I’m pretty sure my wrist clicked thirty times writing this but it was all for you guys!!!!! <3

I love you all sosososos much

And… I’m sorry for this… But you know I’m just in a relationship similar to this one but more like when Hunhan went on a break

SORRY FOR THE ANNNGGSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT :/

I love you all very dearly <3

Thankyou for your support and I reward you with the longest chapter I’ve ever written!!!!! <3