It was last week that Suho moved in with Baekhyun- the latter who claimed he couldn’t stand the loneliness and needed someone to just be there, and there was also the fact that he needed to take care of Dara, something Suho didn’t think was fair because technically Dara isn’t even related to Baekhyun and if Chanyeol was going to leave then he may as well of taken all of him.

Kyungsoo and Jongin had come round for the day bringing their child, they named him Jaejoong

“You guys seriously named your kid after a pop star?” Suho raised an eyebrow bringing the coffee cup to his lips

“Oh come on Jaejoong is a pretty name” Kyungsoo scoffed glancing over at the baby boy

Baekhyun entered the room with Yixing smiling a little; Suho could tell he was trying his hardest to be genuine but you’d be a fool if you didn’t notice the expression singed with bitterness and the empty look in his eyes- as if he’d stopped living, a breathing robot.

“Hey” Yixing smiled at Suho sitting down next to him and grabbing a breakfast scone that Kyungsoo had baked that morning

“Hey, what’s up? Why’re you here so early?” Suho asked ignoring the fact that his heart started to swell with joy- the fact that Yixing came to see him at eight in the morning whilst he was still in his pyjamas was somehow just romantic in the most platonic way possible.

“I could say the same about Kyungsoo and Jongin” Yixing joked “No I’m here to borrow you for the day”

“Wait- what?”

“Vic took Luna to see her grandparents while she’s at a work seminar; I’m lonely for a few days”

 “What? Why isn’t Luna staying with you?”

“We both thought it would be good for Luna to have some ‘bonding’ time with her grandparents” Yixing said- a hint of sarcasm edging in his voice- of course Suho didn’t bother to ask why

“Oh- well how long is she away for?”

“Three days”

“You should come stay here then” Suho said smiling a little

“Why?” Yixing cocked his head to the side slightly

“I’ll tell you later” Suho said quietly before turning to a dazed Baekhyun “Hey Baek- it’s okay if Lay stays here for a few days right?”

“Hmm? Yeah sure” Baekhyun smiled again slightly before it fell and he lapsed back into his vegetative state

“Really okay then” Yixing said slowly “But I’m still taking you out for the day and I’ll grab my stuff on the way home”

“Okay- I’ll be ten minutes, I need to get dressed”

Suho clumsy threw on a pair of jeans and a wrinkled shirt, fumbling to tie his shoes up at the kitchen table; quickly grabbing his wallet he motioned Kyungsoo to follow him

“You’ll be okay with Baek right?”

“Of course” Kyungsoo said softly “We’ll try our best”

“He’s like my little brother, I just, I hate seeing him like this”

“Chanyeol will come back” Kyungsoo assured Suho

“I hope so” Suho said pained “I gotta go- Yixing’s waiting in the car”

“Hey- what about you, are you okay?” Kyungsoo asked staring into Suho’s eyes carefully

“I’m fine Kyungsoo; it’s been years- I’m used to it”

“I still worry about you”

“Don’t worry ‘Umma’” Suho winked using Kyungsoo’s old nickname from high school “And even when it’s not okay- it’s still okay” He ran off without a goodbye

“Be careful” Kyungsoo said warily as he watched his friend run down the driveway of Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s house

The car smelt of mint as they drove towards the mall, the mall- what Yixing planned to do there Suho had no idea.

“Kris heard from Chanyeol” Yixing said quietly as they were waiting for the traffic lights to go green

“Where is he?”

 “Russia”

“Russia” Suho rolled his eyes “He fled the country”

“Yeah- he only called to ask how Baek was doing; Kris obviously didn’t know since he is in China and hasn’t even been informed of the situation- I think Chanyeol may have forgotten that tiny detail”

“Well he’s doing pretty ing bad” Suho sighed

“Yeah- Kris called me to ask me what was up- he’s angry at Chanyeol now”

“Who Isn’t?”

Lay stayed silent for a moment before speaking “I think yes, everyone is mad because he’s running away and not being responsible, but I think we all understand, even Baekhyun”

“Well at least Kris has some good news” Lay held back a smile

“What is it?”

“They adopted- from one of the poorer villages in Guangzhou”

“Boy or girl?”

“Girl- her name is Xia, she’s five”

----

“So why did we come to the mall anyway?”

“Well- you know it’s been a while since we actually had some fun- minus our trip to China”

“China was a good time” Suho smiled

“Exactly, but we aren’t in China right now- so now we act like high schoolers and we go to the mall” Lay stuck his tongue out “First stop- coffee!”

“I just had coffee” Suho points out

“Ah yes- but not the fancy coffee they have here!”

They sit by the window drinking caramel lattes and nibble on gingerbread men while discussing the ups and downs of the group that have been friends since primary school.

Much like gossipy teenage girls

“Don’t you feel bad that Victoria was never really accepted in our group?”

“I mean it’s to be expected I guess, I mean everyone was gay- apart from me, I mean I thought you were straight for ages… Until Baekhyun told me- I’m sorry about that”

Suho nearly choked on his food

“Uh that’s fine- go on”

“Yeah I mean you were always lovely to her- Baekhyun was always horrible about her and rude to her, Chanyeol didn’t care neither did Jongin, Minseok and Sehun; Kyungsoo and Luhan are a bit uncomfortable around her but I mean they can’t hurt anyone so they’re really nice to her, Jongdae dislikes her a lot also”

“Have you ever thought why?”

“Not until recently” Yixing admitted

“What’s happening between you two?”

“I don’t know… I just, she’s not the person I fell in love with you know?”

“Not really…”

“I don’t know the Victoria I fell in love with- she was… Well this is embarrassing but like she was a female version of you, you know? Like she was so sweet caring and she ate lots, she was just amazing you know? Like the main character of a romcom, but now… It’s gone, I mean we hardly ever have anymore” Lay pulled a face “And she always watches her weight, is always out of the house, she’s just never there, and I don’t feel like we’re together anymore, we just share the same house”

“It’ll get better” Suho assured- even though he wasn’t very sure himself at all

“I’m not sure I want it to anymore” Yixing said quietly looking into Suho’s eyes, Suho who just stared back bewildered “Of course you want it to get better!”

“Whatever- c’mon we have a movie to catch” Lay winked before jumping up from the table and dragging Suho along with him- Suho tried his hardest to ignore the way his heart leapt out of his chest as he felt the warmth of Yixing’s hand brush against his own.

 They spent the rest of the day, eating fries and milkshakes, in the arcade; they even went shopping, as they were driving to Lay’s house Suho suddenly remembered

“We gotta make dinner”

“Does Baekhyun not make dinner?”

“More like he can’t…”

“Come again?”

“Well the first day he insisted he cook and well it didn’t turn out that well- because he and Chanyeol always cooked together- like couple bonding I guess” Suho rolled his eyes “But now Chanyeol’s gone it’s like… memories…”

“Maybe Kyungsoo stayed?”

“Hopefully otherwise we’ll be getting takeout”

Lay chucked all his stuff in the boot of the car before rushing back to Baekhyun’s- thankfully Kyungsoo and Jongin stayed

There was kimchee spaghetti in the kitchen- all the dishes we’re done and Baekhyun was asleep on the sofa

“You guys did such a good job” Suho smiled warmly “Thank you for that”

“Don’t worry- we want what’s best for Baek too” Kyungsoo said softly glancing over at the sleeping Baekhyun

Nobody had to say anything, everyone saw how young and afraid Baekhyun looked sleeping- everyone could see past the robotic outside and see the Baekhyun that was scared of being forgotten, scared of being left behind.

“Kyungsoo, we should go” Jongin said softly “It’s time we got Jae to bed”

“Okay- take care” Kyungsoo said as Jongin picked Jaejoong up

“See you guys later” Jongin said “Hope he gets better”

“Is this Kim Jongin being mature for once?” Suho joked and Jongin rolled his eyes

“Get a life gramps”

----

Yixing awoke to an empty bed next to him and soft sobs coming from the room next door, quietly he crept out to the living room to see Suho embracing Baekhyun on the sofa and Baekhyun’s cries getting louder- Yixing ignores the strange burning he feels in his mind and the even stranger feeling that his chest is slowly sinking

He waits- he knows it’s wrong but he has to find out more, he has to stop the pain in his chest

“Hyung it hurts” Baekhyun whispered soaking Suho’s top even more

“I know Baekhyun; it’s going to be okay”

“But it’s not, I can hardly breathe without him, it’s like I need him, it’s unhealthy, he hasn’t called me since he left- he could be anywhere”

“Baekhyun- maybe you need this too”

“I don’t need this; I need him, why couldn’t I save him? Why couldn’t I help him? What did I do wrong?”

“I think Chanyeol needs to save himself- and it’s not your fault Baek okay?”

“What if there’s someone else?”

“There’s not- I know Chanyeol loves you, he always loved you, he just needs some time”

“Time for what?” Baekhyun sobbed “He’s not trying, he’s not here, he’s nowhere, and he doesn’t care!”

“He does care Baekhyun- don’t forget that”

“Sometimes I don’t know why I’m even trying, why I’m still here with Dara and why I’m still in this house when everything haunts me- just because I’m waiting for something that might not come back, or if he does he might leave again”

“Baekhyun- fourteen years I have experienced pain, fourteen years I have loved someone who won’t love me back, Baekhyun I know it’s tough but it will get better- I promise he will come back and he will love you I know your story won’t have a tragic ending like mine”

“Suho- your story hasn’t finished yet”

Suho was in love with someone?

When did this happen?

For how long?

Why didn’t he tell me weren’t we best friends?

Is that why he’s been so down lately?

I can’t explain it but I have this fire in my chest

I don’t know why but I feel resentful

Someone else had Suho’s eyes

Why do I feel like this, I’ve never loved Joonmyun right?

So why do I feel like this

----

I didn’t even know it myself- but indeed I was in love with you Joonmyun, I guess I always had been, I was just afraid, society is a monster that distorts our views, changes our reality, tries to tell us what to do, what’s right, what’s wrong, like some sick kind of mind control- All those years I’ve wasted being brain washed, it took that long to figure it out.

I love you Suho

And I’m determined to figure out who held your heart for so many years

And who crushed that heart into smithereens

I want you to know that I have always loved you- deep down I know I have

And I’m going to try fix your heart, to fix you, I want to make you forget that loser who you loved since you were since you were seven

I want to know Joonmyun

Please- tell me

----

A/N

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

I DID IT!

AND YES THAT LAST BIT IS FROM THE FUUUTTTUUUREEEEEEEE

Of course its in Lay’s mind only he doesn’t tell Suho this stuff ahahahahah

So enjoy!

I hope I satisfied the Sulay feels… but if not.. maybe next time ;DDDDD

I love you all thankyou for your support!