NO ONE'S POV

After the tiring reunion, she had with her friends. Nayeon took a while to open the notebook that Mina handed to her, it was hard since she doesn't know what to expect.

What could've Jeongyeon wrote down for her? 

Does she hate her? 

Does it end with this?

She tried hard to keep her head above the anxious thoughts she has but the pain was just too much to ignore. So she let the thoughts drown her, at least for the night. She laid flat on her bed holding Jeongyeon's worn out math notebook close to her heart and slowly she let go of the tears she tried to hold earlier.

-

The night was deep and quiet, the silence was deafening. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her heartbreaking. She stood up and open the radio to conceal the painful sobs she had. She went back to laying, she tried to close her eyes but whenever she did, all she can see was the figure of the taller girl smiling at her.

"She always looks back at you, she waited for you...."

Jihyo's words keep going in and out of her mind until she remembers all the time she thought she was simply following the taller girl.

Jeongyeon loves to drag her around, she tends to pull her into something new or fun but never did Nayeon realized, not until now, that Yoo Jeongyeon always turns her back to look at her, that whenever the taller girl runs ahead of her, Jeongyeon would always stop to look back and wait for her.

-

"This song is perfect for those who have a hard time expressing their feelings. A perfect song for this calm night."

*YOUR SHAMPOO SCENT IN THE FLOWER PLAYING ON THE RADIO*

It's like destiny really wants to her up, to let her know she made a mistake, the radio played Jeongyeon's favorite song. The one she always plays when she drives, the one Nayeon memorized without realizing, and the one that, Yoo Jeongyeon dedicate to the person she loves, Im Nayeon.

She tried to collect herself, and once she did, she starts opening the notebook. She can't believe that the taller girl managed to be this diligent, she wrote everything that she and Nayeon studied. And as she continues to scan through the notebook, on one of the pages she found a sketch of her, not as distinct as to how Chaeyoung draws, but she knew it was her. The buckteeth gave it away.

She scanned until she reached the last few pages of the notebook. She thought she already cried everything she can but reading the first sentence of this long messy paragraphs made her bawl her eyes out. She had to calm herself again before she continues.

"Im Nayeon, I like you, I love you. I'll be back."

Suddenly Nayeon starts counting the times that Jeongyeon confessed but end up telling her she was just practicing. Two but if she includes that time she got drunk and thought she was dreaming, that time where Jeongyeon boldly said she likes her, it would be three and this will be the fourth.

Four times and she didn't even believe at least one of them. 

Four and all she did was assumed that the girl was joking.

-

And when the streams of tears run out she started reading once again.

"Im Nayeon, I like you, I love you.

I'll get scolded if someone else finds this. I know, this not how to start a letter but I just have to say it, it's been stuck inside for a long time, I don't think I can keep it hidden anymore. So here you go, spare me little of your time.

Annyeong Im Nayeon, it's weird that I'm writing something like this. I'm not even sure what this is, a love letter? A parting gift? All I know is after you walk away today, I found myself holding a pen. I wanted to write down on a nice scented paper but this is the only thing I have with me right now."

And if she's right Jeongyeon wrote this in the rooftop after that talked they had.

"Gwenchana! I have all the time right now, well I thought I'll be driving you home while we celebrate or something. So I asked dad to go ahead without me. It'll be a bit messy from here but I hope you understand, I have so much to say and five minutes wouldn't be enough but you're right I should be honest. If I say five minutes, it should be five not ten, thirty, or sixty.

You're right I should've been true to what I say, I shouldn't have said I was practicing when I said I love you. I should've been honest.

I can clearly remember how you walked inside our house. You're wearing this absurd purple jumpsuit, how could I not look at you? With your fruity smile and chubby cheeks, I knew I couldn't just ignore you but I have to hide since I really didn't like the idea of having someone teaching me.

My mom and dad adored you so much, they love you, and don't even get me started on how Seungyeon and Seoyeon unnie would trade me for you. I would be lying if i tell you that I didn't find you cute that day, sorry I have to be a handful. I did it in hopes you'll quit but everything would go on normally until I suddenly felt this weird sensation inside me, I mean I have a few flings before you but none of them felt like this.

I love you from the start."

She had to stop for a short time to calm herself once again.

"I met a bunch of people before you and yes you may not be my first love, but you're the love that made others irrelevant.

Im Nayeon, I love you.

It's crazy how true love makes you do things. Like that drama? Oh never did I even once thought of watching a drama in my life. I rather read a book or play a game but I.... I did like it, I like watching it with you next to me. I like how you cry on such little things, on trivial things. I love you for that :)

And that play? I didn't really plan to join but my stupid friend which goes by the name Jihyo told me you're trying to get the most important part, I thought it was the lead role. She didn't tell me you want to be the director but my stupid just went ahead and audition for the role. Before I knew it I was already Romeo, I wanted to quit the moment I learned that you're not playing the part. I mean,

How can I be Romeo when you're not my Juliet?

That's not possible, right? Because you're the only Juliet to my Romeo and I wouldn't have it any other way, that's what I thought haha. Not when I heard you could get a scholarship out of it. I couldn't really say no to you, can't I? So I just went with it and did the very best I could.

Oh, and the Mamamoo's garden, did you know that Solar was the one to pick Gerberas? Yes, the one you accused me of stealing hmp. I have zero knowledge about it and turns out there's this thing called flower language. Gerberas represents happiness. They are a symbol of the simple beauty that often translates to a very happy life and the color pink embodies adoration. 

To make it simple, I, Yoo Jeongyeon have always had a happy time with you, Im Nayeon, who is the center of my adoration :) I could write all the crazy things I did for you but it would take so much time, let's just talk about it next time."

This time she just let the tears flood her eyes, she was huffing so much she looks like she was running of air.

"Sorry for messing your hair every time, I kinda got used to it and somehow it became a way of me letting you know that I was here, that I'm with you, that I love you. Sorry for leaving like that, I would probably never know how you feel about me until we see each other again but I'm glad.

I'm glad you're the one I'm crazy for.

So here I am, with one of the tiest excuses you'll ever hear. I left because I was afraid that I'll lose you, I left because I thought there's still something for me to improve. I would've stayed if you ask me to but I'm sure you wouldn't do that.

I'll be coming back to you, I love you.

I'm not writing this to ask you to wait for me, no. You don't need to do that, you do you. If you find someone who's ready to give you the world you go and be with that person. I'm writing this to let you know I love you.

I love you Im Nayeon.

I think I'll always love you but know that I'm not letting you be my almost or the one that got away. I'll try again if I could and if it's not our destiny to be together, I just like you to know that I'm ready. I'm ready to choose you over anything even over destiny, I'm ready to meet you in the middle of nowhere to go against all odds. I'll do anything if it's you, if it's with you.

You're not my almost, Im Nayeon you're my always. Remember that I love you, more than anything in this world. I hope to see you again one day.

Yoo Jeongyeon

BTW I HATE LOTUS ROOT!"

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