Jiyong's POV

What did I just do? I stood frozen staring at the door where Sandara just left. Nervous cold sweat started forming on my forehead. Fuxx what did I just do? Is this what I want? Did I want to end things with her? I must run after her, I thought. I put on my shoes and ran to the elevator, straight to the parking lot where I know she would have been but no signs of her car anywhere. Fuxx. What the actual fuxx did I do? I immediately searched for my phone, thinking it was in my pocket, only to be disappointed remembering I left it right at the couch where she found me hungover. I ran back to my room and dialed her number. 

Ring.

Ring. 

Ring. 

No anwer

I tried again. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Fuxx. No answer. I tried 2 more times until the phone can't connect. She turned her phone off. Fuxxxxxx. Realizing this won't do, I put my coat on, grabbed my car keys and drove like a mad man straight to her apartment building. I don't know what I will tell her but I do know now that I've made a mistake. I do not want to end this relationship. I do not want a single day to go by without her. Why did I do it? Why did my mouth just go off without thinking of the consequences? As soon as I parked my car I went straight to her door and punched her code. 

'Dara?' I yelled. Rushing to her bedroom as soon as I realized her living room was empty. 'Dara? Are you there?' Still no answer. 

I looked at the bathroom and that too was empty. She's not home. 

Feeling more nervous and scared by the second, I tried dialing her number once again. This time, the phone didn't even ring. She's turned it off. 

I got back to my car quickly and started driving aimlessly to all the places I know she might go to. Our favorite coffee shop. The restaurant she loves. The tiny bookstore she hides herself at when she wants peace and be surrounded by books. The park near her apartment. The park near my apartment. I don't know where else to go. It's quickly hitting me now. This is just how it feels like losing the girl you love. I can not let this happen. After hours of driving around, I found myself back again in my apartment. Empty. No Dara. No love. 

Did she really deserve how terribly I've been treating her this past few months? Did I really have to go out of my way to mess around. Did I really want to risk my relationship with her only to flirt around with Kiko? Why did I not stop myself? All these weeks sneaking behind everyone's backs, texting the exciting Japanese model, taking her out for dinner and spending nights clubbing and dancing with her? Is she the one I want to be with? Can I leave the girl I love for 3 years so I can feel "high" and unstopable with Kiko? Maybe I really didn't deserve Dara. Maybe this break, this painful feeling in my heart, this uncomfortable heavy block in my chest is what I really deserve. Because Dara has always been a great girl friend and I was a massive who can't be content. 

Not wanting to feel the pain anymore, I went and took a shower, got dressed and sent a text message. 

GD: Where are you?

Kiko: About to go to the club.