Chapter 55 - In My Eyes

 

Semi’s POV

 

While holding the sketchbook that Shijimi gave Rika, I could feel it.. The warmth from Shijimi…

 

I could visualize it… How Shijimi looked when she was drawing…

 

I flipped to the next page…

 

Ah……

 

It was an illustration of me, holding a knife, covered in blood…

 

There are some wordings on the page beside the illustration...

 

Rika, this was how Papa first looked in Mama’s eyes. He might look scary, but at that time, Mama wasn’t scared of him at all. Mama was more afraid of the guy that Papa, being a professional killer, was ordered to kill. Mama was borned an unwanted child, and was sold to that guy who tortured me continuously for ten years. It was your Papa, it was Papa who saved Mama from hell.

 

…………………… Shijimi……

 

I flipped to the next page, it was an illustration of me telling Shijimi my name.

 

Mama was thankful that Papa killed the man, and was willing to be killed by Papa, and I requested to know Papa’s name before getting killed by him. At that time, Papa had a pair of gentle eyes, despite knowing he is a killer, Mama could see the other side of Papa which was different from what he had portrayed to be.

 

…………………………… Crap…… I am not sure if I can continue reading……

 

Shijimi…… You are going to make me regret…

 

That…

 

I couldn’t keep you by my side and dote on you more…

 

“Papa… read on.”

 

I took a look at Rika, she had the same pair of beautiful eyes as Shijimi.

 

And I continued reading…

 

Next, it was an illustration of me saying “........... I don’t care, I’m calling you by Shijimi.”

 

Your Papa kept on calling me Shijimi from the day we first met, I don't know why he decided to give me such a nickname. But… I don't hate it because he will look and sound exceptionally cute whenever he calls me that.

 

Then, an illustration of me looking uncomfortable due to the ringing in my ears.

 

Papa’s left ear has some problems whereby it will ring every now and then. Apparently whenever I touch his ears the ringing will stop. I guess… This is our destiny. Where we will save each other from our sorrows. Rika, I hope this ability will be passed on to you, so that you can save Papa in case his ear rings again after I am gone.

 

………. Shijimi…… yes…… You have passed your magical hands onto Rika…

 

Next, was a face of me smiling.

 

This was the first time I saw your Papa’s smile. He probably didn't realize himself, but he was smiling like an idiot when he saw me after my haircut. Now that I think back, probably at this moment he has started to fall in love with my cute looks. Right? Semi...

 

………….!!!

 

Shijimi…

 

Are you… talking to me…?

 

Crap…… my heart…

 

Is aching…

 

I flipped to the next page, it was a blushing face of me.

 

This was how your Papa blushed after he hugged me to protect me from being found out by someone I didn't want to see. He looks really cute, right? By now, his image of being a killer has completely been erased out of my mind. In my eyes, he is just like any normal being.

 

“Shijimi… how dare you say that to me. Weren't you blushing a lot as well?”

 

“Hahaha!! Papa, don't reveal Mama’s secret, she may get angry with you.”

 

Then I hope she really does. I hope she will come back and punish me…

 

Next page, a worried face of me.

 

This is how your Papa looks whenever he is worried for me. Since I met your Papa, I often made him worried for me. When I get injured, he’ll look exceptionally frightened, I feel bad for making him feel so. Yet… I’m glad. Because it shows how much he cares for me, it shows how much he loves me.

 

Semi, I’m sorry… for making you suffer with me during my relapse, and… leaving this world before you. Believe me, I really really… wanted to stay by your side till the end.

 

……………………..

 

*Drips*

 

Ah…!!!

 

My tears…

 

Dropped on the sketchbook…!

 

I can't dirty it…!!

 

I quickly wiped away my tears, and continued reading…

 

Next, it was the time when I confessed to Shijimi… Shijimi wrote what I had said at that time in the speech bubble beside my face illustration...

 

Rika, you might not believe it, it was Mama who confessed to Papa first. Mama was shocked as well, I didn’t think I would have that courage to do so, but… I did. Because Mama felt that Papa was the guy she wanted in her life. So, RIka, if you ever find someone like that, please hold onto him tightly. Mama hopes that one day you can become a happy woman like Mama too.

 

Then, a crying face of mine…

 

Rika, Papa may look strong physically, but he is actually quite a crybaby. I guess you can see it by now, right? Haha~ Mama hopes that you can be there to comfort Papa whenever he cries, he is afraid of loneliness, so, please don’t let him feel lonely.

 

…………….. Shijimi……

 

Stop making me cry……

 

Up next was a pouting face of mine…

 

Mama loves this face of Papa, he will show this face whenever he gets jealous or when Mama bullies him.

 

Furthermore, there are faces of me getting scared at the amusement park, when I came back after five years, when I married Shijimi…

 

Ah……

 

It was getting near the end of the sketchbook…

 

Next…

 

A… sleeping face of mine...

 

This is what Mama always sees beside me when I wake up. Mama feels fortunate and calm upon seeing Papa’s soundly asleep face. Mama hopes that I can get to see more of it before I leave…

 

……….. …

 

I couldn’t control anymore……

 

My tears……

 

“Shijimi……!!!”

 

“Papa…… There’s… one more drawing…”

 

“............”

 

I looked at Rika, before flipping to the next page again, but there weren't any drawings…

 

There were words…

 

Rika… Mama would like to ask you to do something…

 

Could you…

 

Draw the face of Mama when I leave this world…?

 

I believe…

 

Mama would leave with a peaceful smile…

 

So……

 

Could you……

 

Draw that for Papa……?

 

Mama hope…

 

Papa won’t feel upset anymore…

 

Because…

 

Mama left without regrets……

 

Mama was…

 

Fortunate to meet Papa…

 

Shijimi… loves…

 

Semi…

 

Till…

 

Eternity…

 

………………..!!!!!

 

My hands were trembling……

 

I………

 

“Dad… flip over…”

 

“......... Rika……”

 

“......... Don’t you… want to see Mama again…?”

 

“.................... Hm…!!” I nodded my head, I nodded my head so hard…

 

Slowly…

 

I flipped the page…

 

The next moment……

 

My tears were gushing out non-stop……

 

Shijimi…….

 

Shijimi was smiling at me……

 

Shijimi was looking so ever beautiful……

 

My hands went onto the drawings…

 

Caressing Shijimi’s face……

 

“Shijimi… Semi… loves Shijimi too… Till… Eternity…”

 

Suddenly I feel someone wiping my tears away.

 

“Dad… Stop crying!!! You’ll wet my drawing!!!”

 

“Ah…!!! Ok…!!!” I quickly wiped away my tears… And took a longer look at the drawing…

 

Rika’s drawing of Shijimi was very delicate and lively.

 

It gives me the same feeling as I get from Shijimi’s drawings…

 

Naturally…

 

I smiled…

 

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Writer’s note: You can always see a different side of the person you love in your eyes, the side that no one else would see the same...

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