Semi’s POV

 

Five years later...

 

It has been five years since I left Japan… There isn't a single day I don't miss Shijimi… I miss her smiles, I miss her touch… Without her around, the ringing in my ears came haunting me again, much worse than before. It was making me going deaf, I was leading my life meaninglessly, as long as that bastard is still around, I can't go back to Japan…

 

“Look, there’s this killing organization in Japan caught!”

 

As I was drinking in the cafe, I overheard some group of Japanese’s conversation. I turned to look at them, and saw them holding up a set of newspaper.

 

The headlines was speaking about the police raiding a killing organization successfully. I glanced through it without much thoughts.

 

…………. Hold on……

 

The face printed on the newspaper looks familiar…

 

I went closer to take a better look at the face on the newspaper…

 

……………

 

“AHHHH!!!!!!”

 

“Ah!!! Young man!! Don't shout out of sudden!!!”

 

My sudden screaming shocked the two Japanese who were reading the newspaper.

 

“Ah sorry!!”

 

I apologised to them and left the cafe to buy a set of newspaper.

 

……….. It is indeed him… The face printed on the newspaper… was the bastard who threatened me to leave Shijimi…

 

He has been caught by the police…? Does that mean… I can finally go back to Japan?!?!

 

Shijimi… I can finally meet and explain to her what has happened!!!

 

Wait…

 

After what I have done to Shijimi… will she forgive me…?

 

But, no matter how she would react, I must go back immediately back to her side! Even if she doesn't forgive me yet, I will make it up for her, till she forgives me.

 

That was my decision.

 

There will be nothing that would obstruct between Shijimi and me again.

 

I packed my things and returned to Japan the next day.

 

The first place I went for was Keito’s apartment, I was sure that Keito and Maki would take care of Shijimi while I’m not around.

 

But…

 

The moment the door opened, a stranger appeared. He told me that the previous tenant has moved away four years ago.

 

……… Sigh…… It was my wishful thinking, thinking that I could meet Shijimi so soon.

 

I wandered around the streets, not knowing where to go; where to find Shijimi; or where to find a place I can stay again…

 

………………..

 

The images of the past appeared in my mind… Where Shijimi asked me to bring her back to my hometown…

 

The place where I could finally clear the misunderstandings between my parents and me…

 

I want to… stay again in that house… with Shijimi…

 

My body automatically moved by itself, going to the station, buying the shinkansen tickets back to Hokkaido. I decided I want to buy back that piece of land, rebuild another house, and fetch Shijimi back.

 

If only… Iwanishi was around, he would be able to find Shijimi easily for me…

 

While on the train, all the past images between Shijimi and me came flashing in my mind clearly, her smile, her touch, the warmth and love from her…

 

Shijimi… I am back… I am back for you… Would you… let me find you soon…?

 

As the flashback come hit me hard, I felt my hands getting wet…

 

What…? What is making my hands wet…?

 

My hands went up to touch my cheeks… It was wet… Am I… tearing…?

 

The suppressed emotions these five years was flowing out, the urge of wanting to meet Shijimi… the urge of wanting to love Shijimi once again… the urge to just ignore the threatenings from the bastard and just go back to Shijimi’s side…

 

I felt my face getting tight… I couldn't hold back anymore, my tears were flowing down non stop...

 

Help… Someone please help… help me… find Shijimi…

 

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I reached Hokkaido after a few hours of train ride, and when I finally reached where I used to stay, I was stunned…

 

There is a house… There is a house at the place I used to stay…

 

Someone has bought over the land before I get to…

 

Crap… Why is this happening to me…?

 

I stood outside of the house, losing the hope of being able to stay in that house again…

 

As I stared at the house, the door was opening…

 

Ah… Should I go… persuade the owner to sell the piece of land to me…?

 

A small girl came out from the house, followed by another man…

 

………….....

 

Ke...….

 

Keito….?!?!?!

 

Why is he here?!?!

 

And the girl… she was holding onto his hands…

 

Is the girl…

 

The child of Keito… and... Shijimi…?

 

……………….……….

 

Semi, you and your wishful thinkings. Have you forgotten how you have hurt Shijimi…? It is not wrong for her to find another better man…

 

The girl looked like she likes Keito a lot… They must be a really close pair of father and daughter…

 

I sighed and looked away from them… I shouldn't appear now to disrupt their simple happiness…

 

I decided to walk away without confronting them…

 

“Papa!!”

 

Ah… I could hear that little girl’s voice… Her voice of calling Keito ‘Papa’ was so sweet…

 

If only… I could have a kid with Shijimi too…

 

“PAPA!! PAPA!!!”

 

The little girl was calling ‘Papa’ non stop…

 

The voice came hitting me hard… I felt piercing pain in my heart…

 

“PAPA!!!”

 

Why is her voice getting louder and closer to me…?

 

Ah… someone was holding my hands…?

 

A…

 

Tiny pair of hands…??

 

I looked down at my bottom left…

 

The little girl was holding onto my hands…

 

“PAPA!!! YOU ARE PAPA!!!” The little girl smiled widely while calling me Papa.

 

…….. WHAT?!?!

 

“I’m not… your Papa…” I squatted down to tell the little girl.

 

“You are Papa!! I won’t be wrong!! Because I see the drawings everyday!!!”

 

“....... Drawings…...?”

 

“Yes!!! Mama drew a lot of your face for me!!!” The little girl started taking something from her bag.

 

She took out a sketchbook…

 

“Look!! You are Papa!!!” The little girl flipped open the sketch book and faced it to me.

 

……………………………!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

THIS!!!!

 

SHIJIMI’S DRAWINGS!!!!

 

WHAT IS HAPPENING……..?!?!?!

 

“Semi, you’re finally back…”

 

I looked up and saw Keito’s face.

 

“....... Keito…... Can you tell me what is happening……?

 

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Writer’s note: What could five years of isolation feel like? What could also five years of upbringing a kid feel like? Will they overlap each other…?

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