Semi’s POV

 

Walking back to the empty land which used to be my house, my heart was pumping so hard, aching from the most inner part. Looking at a plain patch of soil, I could still sense the same atmosphere and feel the warm, the warmth from the place I used to call ‘home’.

 

“Father… Mother… I’m… sorry…….”

 

I kneeled onto the ground, my face was feeling hot from the anxiety, my cheeks were being washed by my tears. I felt like an unfilial son by killing my own parents, why did I kill them??? Why did I not trust them?!?!

 

The suppressed emotions within seems to be releasing all at the same time, I could not control myself anymore, I was crying hard, as if my body was going to break apart.

 

“Semi……”

 

Shijimi wrapped me in her arms, sensing her cold body, I hugged her back tightly. After releasing all my emotions, I let go of Shijimi and gently told her,

 

“Let’s go back…”

 

Holding Shijimi’s hands, I pulled her up, while we are walking back to the main road, Shijimi stopped her footsteps suddenly.

 

“Semi… look… this is…” Shijimi was pointing to the ground.

 

“............. What…?” I squat down to look at the area where Shijimi was pointing to.

 

“Semi… this looks like a metal box…”

 

“...............”

 

It sure does look like one!

 

I quickly swept the soil away, and indeed, a metal box appeared!!!

 

………………………………

 

Is this…… something that my parents left for me……?

 

I quickly opened the box, and found many pictures of myself, and… a letter…

 

Holding onto the letter, the paper felt so ever heavy, my hands were shivering non-stop……. I got worried at what I am going to read from the letter…

 

“Semi……. Don’t worry……. I’m here……” Shijimi held onto my shivering hands, and I could finally calm down.

 

I opened up the piece of letter, it was the handwritings of my father…

 

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Ryosuke… Firstly… Please accept our apologies… It is due to our wrongdoings in the past that you had to suffer all these. We have failed badly as parents. Despite us trying to give you as much happiness when you were young, we are the ones who have caused you into leading an unfortunate life.

 

We have thought of ending our lives together, but we couldn’t bring it. We couldn’t bring it to kill our very own son. We thought, if you would at least live on, you might be able to find the will to live on eventually.

 

We are sorry we couldn’t give you more. This letter is the only way we could express our love to you till the last. Don’t ever doubt our love for you, Ryosuke. We won’t blame you for whatever you do, we hope that you can live on, and find the meaning of living one day.

 

We love you, Ryosuke.

 

From your father and mother.

 

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………………………...

 

The tears that had dried up on my cheeks started dropping down again. My parents indeed did not abandon me because they don’t love me anymore…

 

“Semi…….”

 

“Shijimi…… thank you!!! Thank you for finding this last message from my parents to me…”

 

I hugged Shijimi closely and tightly to me, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t get to know the truth, and I wouldn’t get to know my parents’ real feelings for me.

 

“Semi…… I did nothing much……”

 

“No… Shijimi, you’re the one… You’re the one who saved me from darkness…”

 

I could feel my heart being lifted off the pool of darkness, and the person who did that is… Shijimi…

 

Maybe this is all predestined… That I am fated to be unable to kill Shijimi when I first met her, and how she could save me from the ringings in my ears, and eventually pulling me out from the darkness that I have fallen into for so many years…

 

We walked back to the hotel shortly after, with my left hand holding onto the metal box, and my right hand holding Shijimi tightly.

 

I had Shijimi to bath first while I look through the photos of my parents and myself. I am glad that I came back here, feeling a burden taken off me. Although from now on I might still be leading the life of being a killer… At least I know… That I was loved…

 

“Semi, I’m done! Go have a shower!”

 

“Ok!”

 

I cleaned myself thoroughly, so that there won’t be scents of blood left on my body. I did not want to stain Shijimi with blood… Although this feels ironic for me to be saying this after our intimate relationship, but… I just want to be as clean as possible when I touch Shijimi…

 

I came out of the bathroom, and Shijimi was sitting at the sofa looking at the photos from the metal box. She was very engrossed looking at them and did not realize I was walking nearer to her.

 

As I was about to call her, I realized her eyes were teary, why…? Is she feeling sad…?

 

“Shijimi, are you alright?” I called her name gently as I did not want to scare her.

 

“Ah, Semi, I’m fine…”

 

………………. A forced smile…

 

Shijimi gave me a forced smile…

 

“No, you are not fine. What happened? Shijimi…” I sat beside her and caressed her face.

 

“I……………. Semi…… Looking at your photos, it makes me really happy…… Because you get to know that your parents loved you…… And they had reasons for abandoning you……”

 

…………….. That’s right……

 

I know why Shijimi is sad already…

 

We were both abandoned by our parents, yet we were abandoned for totally different reasons.

 

My parents abandoned me because they loved me.

 

But what about Shijimi??

 

She was an unwanted child ever since she was born, she was given away to a pair of couple who did not love her, and then she was given away again to someone who had just wanted her as a slave…

 

While I am feeling delighted right here knowing that my parents do love me, I have neglected how Shijimi would feel.

 

“Shijimi, sorry, I think I have neglected your feelings…”

 

“Semi!!! Don’t feel so…!!! I’m really really happy for you!!!”

 

“Yet you are sad that you didn’t have parents who loved you, right…?”

 

“............!!!! Semi…….I…...” Shijimi looked at me shockingly, as I have just exposed what she was thinking.

 

“Don’t hide anything from me… Alright…? I’ll be here with you, I’ll accept all of you as well, so… don’t be afraid to let me know what you are thinking… ok…?”

 

“.............. Semi…… even if I know that no one loves me in the past, I know that someone is loving me right now, at this very moment… And that person is you… This is enough for me already… I don’t need anything else…”

 

“.............. I love you, Shijimi……”

 

My body naturally went up to reach for Shijimi, embracing her tightly, matching our lips together, longing for each other’s warmth.

 

The room might be cold, but it won’t be cold as long as we have each other by our side...

 

…………………

 

That night, I was being very gentle to Shijimi, I want her to feel loved. I want her to remember clearly I am loving her a lot, and will continue to love her from now on…

 

The next day, we checked out of hotel, and I brought Shijimi for a proper date at one of the theme parks in Hokkaido before going back to Tokyo.

 

“Wow!!! This is my first time coming to a theme park!!! I want to ride that!!! Oh and that as well!!!”

 

As expected, Shijimi looks just like a kid. I just want to make her as happy as possible today.

 

“Semi, I want to go to the haunted house!!”

 

!!!!!!!!!

 

Crap!!! I hated that……

 

I hated the haunted house ever since I was scared as a kid when I first entered one. And I swore to never enter one again...

 

“Argh… ok…”

 

But looking at Shijimi’s excited self, I couldn't reject her…

 

“...... Semi… you dislike the haunted house…?”

 

“Arghh No!! Why do you say so??” I was lying...

 

“......... Because you looked worried… We shall skip this then!!”

 

“........... Shijimi, I admit, I’m scared of it… But if you’re with me, I’m sure I can overcome it. Let’s go.” I dragged Shijimi into the haunted house out of impulse… and soon regretted it.

 

I am still scared!!!

 

Ironically, I’m more scared of the zombies in the haunted house than dead bodies in real life…

 

“Semi, I’ll protect you if anything happens.”

 

Shijimi held my hands tightly, although I can't see her clearly in the dark right now, I could feel her presence strongly.

 

I realized it wasn't as scared as I have thought to be. Either it’s because I’ve grown numb to blood, or that… because Shijimi is with me…

 

We had a lot of fun in the theme park, and only left when it was almost time for us to rush to board the shinkansen back to Tokyo.

 

On the way to the station, there was someone coming from the opposite direction, and that person stopped right in front of us.

 

“Yo, Ryosuke, it’s been long since we last met.”

 

It was a female voice… This voice…

 

“........ Maki…?”

 

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Writer’s note: The truth behind Ryosuke has revealed, and more of Ryosuke’s life after he became Semi would be coming… Will Maki affect the relationship between Semi and Shijimi…?

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