People were starting to talk. It was not just whispers and unfounded rumors like before; now, it became a solidified impression that so many people seemed to have. “Petroleum Engineering freshman Kim Mingyu and Theology freshman Jeon Wonwoo are in a homoual relationship.”

There were a lot of reasons to believe it. There was the early rumor that Wonwoo was gay. There was the fact that Jin, who people had thought was dating Wonwoo, now had this thing with Vernon. There was also the fact that Wonwoo had moved in with Mingyu. The two were also often seen out in public together, and when they were walking together, their arms were entwined.

But the thing that fuelled the rumors now more than before was the publication of the magazine. Everyone saw the cover, and many saw the other photos in the spread as well. It was taken as some kind of definitive confirmation of those rumors for some reason.

Wonwoo hated that this was happening. He hated that he had dragged Mingyu into this untrue gossip that was affecting both of them negatively in so many different ways.

The rumors fuelled a lot of hostility towards Wonwoo. Slurs have been directed at him: some spitting, some religious bigotry, some shoving, and some scowling. Wonwoo found that he hated walking outside like when the gay rumors had first started. The hostility, however, was also now directed at Mingyu as well.

Mingyu didn’t bring up the rumors, but Wonwoo knew that they did affect him. Although Wonwoo never saw it happen, he was almost certain that Mingyu heard the slurs and the insults, experienced the pushing and the spitting. Wonwoo could tell from the way that Mingyu at first stopped being as touchy with him in public as before, and later stopped being with him in public altogether. They stopped having lunch together, stopped walking to classes and home together. They also never really talked about the fact that they stopped; both of them knew the reason without having to say anything about it.

It was not like they had much of an opportunity to be together in public anyways. Mingyu was getting busy with his work and exams and internship, and Wonwoo hated going outside and thus stayed in the dorm most of the time. The two of them only ever saw one another at night when they slept and sometimes in the morning before they headed their separate ways.

At one point, Mingyu stopped touching Wonwoo altogether, even when they were alone. He was still bright and kind and everything, but kept his hands to himself.

It made Wonwoo feel really bad, because as much as Mingyu liked to give off the impression that he didn’t care what people thought, he clearly did care. It was not very pleasant to be the center of gossip and to be associated with an untrue rumor that turned many people against him.

Wonwoo took to social networking sites to clear up some of the rumors. “Mingyu and I are only friends,” he posted on the campus gossip Facebook page that had spread all of these rumors in the first place.

Mingyu never talked about how the rumors had impacted him, but Wonwoo knew. He spoke to Mingyu’s other friends, who relayed some of Mingyu’s experiences. Some of Mingyu’s female friends had stopped talking to him, workers for whom he interned found out about the rumor and started being extremely demanding with him. And there was the occasional bully in the class who made fun of him for it,

Wonwoo wanted to stop it. He didn’t care that it was affecting him anymore, but he really wanted it to stop affecting Mingyu. Mingyu didn’t deserve it.

Wonwoo would have asked Jin to pretend to date him like she did last time, to hold his hand in public like before, but it seemed like Jin was now out of the picture. Although Jin said she broke up with Vernon, their “some” relationship was clear as ice and Wonwoo did not want to get in between that.

He wanted to ask Sena to pretend instead, but Sena herself was an object of some negative gossip. If she so suddenly started “dating” Wonwoo, it would be bad for her. He didn’t want people to think she was this “easy” girl who just jumps from guy to guy or whatever. He didn't want to make he anymore liable to those insults she probably heard enough of.

He had no other female friends to help him out with this, and so he was alone. He wished he could do something besides just continuously deny those rumors on social media, but he felt so powerless.

One day, Seokmin saw Mingyu going out with a girl and relayed what he saw to Wonwoo.

It would be a lie to say that Wonwoo did not absolutely detest that this was happening. The jealousy burned him like nothing else ever did. He felt so angry and disappointed, and also guilty for feeling angry and disappointed.

What made things worse for him was that his parents were coming from Changwon wanting to meet Jin. Jin did agree to pretend, but he hated that he had to go through with it and that he had to make her go through with it.

He didn’t know how this thing with his parents would end. Was he just going to keep pretending to date Jin forever? And when Jin marries Vernon or whatever (Wonwoo speculated that they would get married; they were both obviously crazy about one another), would he find a new girl to pretend with?

Sometimes he could not help but feel like he should let the divorce happen. His parents’ marriage was this heavy load on his back that he felt responsible for, and although it was precious to him, maintaining it was so straining. Perhaps dropping that load now would be best. But every time he took out his phone to call his parents and tell them the truth, he faltered. No, he couldn’t let it happen.

And so Wonwoo struggled with the prejudice he faced from all the religious bigots in his classes, he struggled with the knowledge that Mingyu was dating a girl (and had not even told him about it), he was struggling with the fact that he and Mingyu seemed to be growing apart, and he was struggling with this whole deal with his parents and the stress of their impending visit to meet a girlfriend he did not have. It was a very stressful and difficult time for him.

One day, coming home from his class early, he walked in on Mingyu kissing the girl in their room. It was like a knife to the heart, and a sharp one at that. When Wonwoo opened the door and saw it, he froze. Mingyu looked startled and anxious when he saw Wonwoo standing there.

“Umm… I… I’m sorry… for …um… interrupting,” Wonwoo stuttered before turning around quickly to leave.

He left immediately and closed the door behind him, feeling overwhelmed and angry and jealous and bitter and embarrassed all at the same time. He walked through the halls to the lobby and waited there, trying to calm his raging heart.

No more than a minute later, Mingyu came down to find him.

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu said to Wonwoo.

“Sorry for what?” Wonwoo asked, trying not to appear like what he just witnessed had struck him like it did.

“About her… I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“No you don’t,” Wonwoo replied immediately, almost bitterly, “she’s a girl that you're dating. You don’t owe me any explanation whatsoever.”

“But why do I feel like I do?” Mingyu asked. Mingyu looked so confused as he asked that question, a question that simply did not make much sense to Wonwoo at all.

Wonwoo narrowed his eyes in Mingyu’s direction.

“Her name is Yebin,” Mingyu began explaining. “She’s liked me for a long time, and she’s quite nice. I just… felt like I had to start dating a girl because of the things that people were saying and…”

“I get it,” Wonwoo told him, not really feeling up to talking with Mingyu about her anymore. Though this was the first time that Mingyu had ever brought up the rumors to him; that was a topic that they both had completely avoided talking about until now.

“So that’s why I’m dating her and…”

“Mingyu, you don’t need to explain anything to me,” Wonwoo replied, unsure of why Mingyu was telling him this. It didn’t matter why Mingyu was with her, and Wonwoo really didn’t care or want to hear about it. The more Wonwoo heard about it, the more it hurt him.

It was then that the girl had come down and approached them. Her arms were crossed as she stood over them, eying the two of them curiously.

“Yebin… this is my roommate Wonwoo. Wonwoo, this is Yebin,” Mingyu introduced them to one another. Wonwoo really had not wanted to meet her, for he knew he would resent her no matter how kind she was.

“Nice to meet you,” she said to Wonwoo with a polite bow.

“Nice to meet you too,” Wonwoo lied, bowing back.

“So… are you coming?” Yebin turned to Mingyu, who looked so oddly flustered and anxious. Mingyu then turned to look at Wonwoo for whatever reason.

Yebin frowned and asked, “is there something you’re not telling me?”

“What? No!” Mingyu answered her, “it’s nothing like that.”

Yebin suddenly turned to Wonwoo and glared daggers into him: “Wonwoo, look me in the eye and tell me that there is nothing going on between the two of you.” Wonwoo was taken aback by the blunt and sudden question. He was starting to understand what Yebin was thinking; she was probably influenced by those stupid rumors too.

He rebound quickly and faced Yebin with confidence. He had nothing to hide: “I have said it before and I will say it again: there is nothing going on between me and Mingyu, and there will never be. Rest assured, your man is not a man’s man,” he told her.

Yebin looked satisfied by that response and by the certainty with which Wonwoo professed it.

Mingyu seemed less satisfied.

“Go,” Wonwoo told Mingyu, who was just gazing at Wonwoo for whatever reason. “She’s waiting for you.”

Mingyu snapped out of whatever trance he had been in. He walked with Yebin a few steps away from Wonwoo and whispered something in her ears. She did not seem to like what he said to her.

“I’m going to call you tonight. Keep your phone on you,” Yebin told Mingyu before dashing away.

“Why did she leave?” Wonwoo asked Mingyu, who was now rubbing his forehead, looking stressed out.

“I told her to,” Mingyu answered.

“Why?”

“I just wasn’t feeling up to it anymore,” Mingyu answered with a shrug. “Come back inside,” Mingyu beckoned before turning around to walk back to the room. Wonwoo followed, confused as to why Mingyu was acting so weird all of the sudden.

“I probably should have told you about her before,” Mingyu said as they walked back to the room.

“And why didn’t you?” Wonwoo asked. He was genuinely curious, for Wonwoo knew they had been going out for a couple of weeks now, but Mingyu never said a word about her.

“I… I don’t know,” Mingyu answered, “I just didn’t want you to know for some reason.”

Whatever that reason was, Wonwoo knew it had something to do with the gay rumors, or his gay crush on Mingyu. Something to do with that gayness that has been ruining every good thing Wonwoo ever had. It ruined his love life; it ruined his school years; it ruined his parent’s marriage; and it was now ruining his friendship with Mingyu. It was like the two of them could not even be close anymore because everyone now thought they were together, and it was frustrating. Because they weren’t together. They were barely even friends at this point let alone lovers.

-

The next day, Wonwoo noted that Mingyu looked more distraught than usual. Concerned, Wonwoo asked Mingyu what was wrong.

“Yebin broke up with me,” Mingyu answered Wonwoo.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Wonwoo replied, not knowing what else to say. “Did she say why?”

Mingyu nodded, “she did actually. She said that…” Mingyu hesitated, “she still thinks I have a thing for you. It’s stupid, right?”

Wonwoo felt his heart heavy all of the sudden. His existence was such a nuisance to Mingyu, and he hated it. He found that he hated himself at that moment. He hated himself so much.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo said softly to Mingyu.

“Don’t worry about it; it’s not your fault. I don’t think it would have worked out between her and me anyways. She said she liked SNSD more than After School. Can you believe that girl?” he joked. Wonwoo could see, however, that Mingyu was actually sad over the break-up.

“I can talk to her if you want…”

“She won’t believe you if you talk to her,” Mingyu said, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo said again.

“Many people believe I have something for you, by the way, not just her. And I’m not just talking about the untrue gossip and the rumors. Even my friends who know the truth think that I… that I have these romantic feelings for you. They think that because I let you move in here free of charge and because I want you around means I like you as more than a friend. And I don’t. I really don’t. You’re a good friend and a wonderful roommate, but nothing more. And I … I really want people to stop thinking that you’re more than that to me…”

Mingyu looked like he had something more to say, but was hesitating to say it. Wonwoo waited for him to say whatever it was with a heavy heart; he kind of already knew what it would be and knew that it would hurt him. Mingyu didn’t say what he wanted to say though. After his mouth opened and closed a few times with no words coming out, he just shook his head and sealed his lips.

“What?” Wonwoo asked him, waiting expectantly.

“Never mind.”

“I’ll move out,” Wonwoo said. He just knew that this was what Mingyu had wanted to ask of him, and judging by the guilty expression on Mingyu’s face that followed, Wonwoo understood that he was not wrong. Mingyu was asking him to move out.

“I… I’m sorry,” Mingyu said, looking at the floor.

Wonwoo suppressed all kinds of pain in that one moment. He masked it all and shook his head in an attempt to alleviate the guilt that Wonwoo knew Mingyu was feeling. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“You can stay for as long as it takes you to find somewhere else,” Mingyu added quickly, “and I can lend you money if you need; I can even help you look for a nice and cheap place and…”

“I’ll find a solution,” Wonwoo said to Mingyu, gulping all of the pain down.

“I’m so sorry,” Mingyu apologized for the second time, looking earnestly guilty.

“Stop apologizing,” Wonwoo said and forced a smile on his face. “You’ve given me so much more than I could ever ask for the past few weeks, and I’m very thankful to you.”

Mingyu nodded, but that guilty expression did not fade from his face.

Mingyu had to leave many minutes later for his internship, and Wonwoo was glad of it, because it gave him the space to stop suppressing his feelings for the sake of Mingyu’s conscience. He let the newfound stress overcome him. He needed find somewhere else to stay, and he needed to pay for it with what little money he had.

So much was wrong in his life at the moment. His parents. His relationship with Mingyu. His financial status. He felt like he hated himself so much. Even Mingyu, the big-hearted Mingyu with whom everything had been so perfect before, could not accept him. Wonwoo felt stupid for every thinking there had been a chance that Mingyu would be more than a friend. He couldn’t even be just a roommate to him.

He felt rejected, unaccepted, and hated. The fact he was so in love with the culprit made it hurt so much more.

A/N: I really need to give Wonwoo some happiness don’t I : /