Whenever her phone vibrated to indicate she received a text message, Jin almost always anticipated that it would be Vernon. But it wasn’t; not this time at least.

Hey Jin!, wrote Mingyu, how about the Arab restaurant this Friday? You can bring your friend :D

Jin agreed. She had been promising him this for a long time now, and it felt only fair that she accept especially after what Mingyu did for Wonwoo with the modelling offer and all. She told Wonwoo about the plans and asked him to tag along.

He seemed reluctant at first. Jin knew it was because of the price. Going to a restaurant famous for authentic Arab cuisine is bound to be expensive. Jin told him that he did not have to worry about paying anything. After a little protest and a few pushes from Jin (the pushes being reminding him that Mingyu was super attractive), Wonwoo finally agreed. They agreed on a time and a place to meet, and all was set.

-

To say that Jin and Sena’s friendship was restored to the way it was before would be an overstatement. But, it would not be an overstatement to say that things had gotten better. Sena told Jin more, and Jin told Sena more as well. But neither seemed to be telling the other everything.

Jin did not tell Sena about her feelings for Seokmin, of course. And she also didn’t Sena about Vernon, mostly because she was over it and she didn’t want to make him seem like a bad guy now. But Jin did tell Sena about Mingyu, and about why she rejected him.

Both Jin and Wonwoo agreed not to tell Sena that it was indeed her that spread the rumor. Sena was happy thinking that it was not her, and neither wanted to ruin that.

Jin wondered if Wonwoo harbored any resentment for Sena because of it. She asked him and he answered: “of course I don’t.” But Jin could tell that it wasn’t really the case. He seemed to have unconsciously stopped talking with Sena. And when the four of them were together, he would not engage in the conversation if Sena were a part of it.

Sena noticed of course, and she told Jin that she thought Wonwoo hated her.

“He doesn’t,” Jin reassured, “he’s just going through a hard time.”

“He talks to you a lot about this hard time, doesn’t he?” Sena asked Jin sadly.

Jin had started to recognize the basis on which Sena claimed to be jealous of her. Indeed, Wonwoo was so much closer to Jin than he was to Sena. She even felt it with Seokmin.

Ever since Seokmin had told Jin about Jiwoo, there was something there between that was not between him and Sena. Seokmin would smile comfortably at Jin. There was softness in his eyes when he talked to her. When Sena was around, Soekmin stiffened.

Jin wondered how this came to be. How is it that both Wonwoo and Seokmin were more comfortable around her and not the sociable and pretty Sena? It was outrageous to think that Jin had something that Sena did not. What was it? Reliability? That still did not seem enough to champion every good thing that Sena was…

-

The next day, Jin went to pick up Wonwoo to go to their class together like usual. It became a habit walking around hand in hand with him. Even though people stopped with their whispering, and the rumor was more or less silenced, they continued doing it. It was easy and convenient. Jin liked leaving with Wonwoo every morning, and Wonwoo seemed to enjoy it too. Jin was the only one he felt comfortable talking to about Mingyu after all.

This time as they walked, Wonwoo had a different story to tell.

“The modeling company called me,” Wonwoo informed her, “I have an interview with them on Tuesday.”

Jin encouraged him, jokingly adding that if he does well, Mingyu might fall for him.

“Ha! Not a chance,” Wonwoo responded. He seemed so sure and Jin asked him why he was. “One, he has said some low-key homophobic things before. Two, clearly he’s dead straight and even asked you out. Three, even if he somehow, magically happened to fall for me, he thinks I’m dating you.”

 “That part can be fixed,” Jin said.

Wonwoo shook his head, “if you don’t mind, I want to stay pretending to date you in front of him for a while. I think you’re the reason he’s giving me any attention in the first place. And plus, he already heard the rumor that I’m gay; I don’t want him to believe it in case he does actually hate gay people. I just… I don’t know… I don’t want to see that side of him.”

Jin nodded.

“What about you?” Wonwoo asked her curiously, “I tell you about Mingyu all the time, but you don’t tell me much about Seokmin.”

“What’s there to say?” Jin asked with a shrug.

“Are you going to ever confess to him?”

“No, because I know he doesn’t like me back,” Jin revealed.

“How?”

“He likes someone else.”

“Sena?” Wonwoo asked almost rhetorically, almost as if he had already known.

Jin was taken aback. “How did you know? Did he tell you?”

“No,” Wonwoo revealed, “did he tell you?”

“Yes,” Jin said, “he wants to confess to her soon. I don’t know when he will though.”

“Both me and Seokmin tell you a lot of things, don’t we?” Wonwoo laughed. “You’re our reliable little keeper of secrets that non-judgmentally listens to our romantic frustrations.”

It was meant to be a compliment from Wonwoo, but for Jin all it did was remind her of Sena’s jealousy.

“What’s wrong?” Wonwoo asked Jin, noticing her long face.

“Nothing,” Jin replied, wanting to change the subject, “how did you know that Seokmin liked Sena, by the way?” Jin asked.

Wonwoo looked reluctant to say what he wanted to say.

“What?”

“It’s just that… Sena looks almost exactly like his late girlfriend, Jiwoo. I knew he liked her from the moment I saw her to be honest,” Wonwoo revealed.

Jin did not know that. She knew a lot about Jiwoo, but she did not know that Sena looked like her. It felt like a blow to her heart. When this feeling called jealousy resurfaced, Jin felt guiltier than ever. She really had no right to be jealous of Sena.

“Did I upset you?” Wonwoo asked gently, looking regretful for saying it after seeing how Jin’s face fell.

“Kind of,” Jin replied, “but I shouldn’t be upset.”

“If it makes it better,” Wonwoo said, “I think he’s kidding himself. He says he likes Sena, but really, you’re so much more like Jiwoo than Sena is. I think his crush on Sena will be just a phase. So don’t be upset, he’s not a lost cause.”

Wonwoo’s words did not comfort Jin at all. It felt like there were both engaging in what was called nameema, an untranslatable Arabic word that’s closest English counterpart was “gossip.” Nameema is talking behind people’s backs about in a way that is not good, in a way that degrades other, no matter how indirectly. It felt like both of them were degrading Sena…

“I want them to be happy together,” Jin said, although it was hard for her to say it. “If Sena accepts him, I’m going to be happy for her.”

“Confess to him before he confesses to her,” Wonwoo suggested suddenly. He stopped walking, indicating that he was serious about this suggestion.

“No,” Jin responded immediately, as if that was the last thing on her mind.

“Why not?” Wonwoo complained. “Seriously, I think you have an actual chance.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. Jin, listen to me.” He pulled her hand and sat he down on a nearby bench. “I have known Seokmin my whole life. And let me tell you, he doesn’t open up to just anyone. I swear, after Jiwoo, I think you’re the only other girl that he has ever been so comfortable around. And plus, you really are so much like Jiwoo, and I’m sure he sees that.”

Jin felt a pit in her stomach, and was suddenly so torn. She didn’t think she would ever hear encouragement from anyone to go after Seokmin, and now that she was hearing it, she didn’t know what to think or how to process it.

“Even if he thinks he likes Sena, if you confess to him, I don’t think he’ll turn you down,” Wonwoo added.

“Wonwoo, I really don’t think I should…”

“Why not?”

“For the same reason you don’t want to tell Mingyu about your feelings. It won’t work out, and it will end in heartbreak on my side.”

“Mingyu is different and you know it.”

“No, he’s not. You say you’re sure that Mingyu isn’t gay, well, I’m equally sure that Seokmin doesn’t like me, and that he really, really likes Sena. Confessing to him would put him in a difficult position as well, and I don’t want to do that to him.”

“I think you’re letting him slip from your hands then,” Wonwo shrugged.

“And I think you’re letting Mingyu slip from your hands. Me and you are in the same position with regards to the people we like. You have to follow your own advice first before I can follow yours,” Jin said.

“Okay,” Wonwoo said to Jin, “I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll confess to Mingyu if it means you’ll confess to Seokmin.”

Jin was taken aback. She did not expect him to concede so easily like that. “Really? You would confess to Mingyu?”

Wonwoo nodded, “yeah, I would and I will. For you. To give you the encouragement to do it.”

“But you know he’ll reject you,” Jin said, confused.

“And I also know that Seokmin isn’t gay, and he would not do the same to you,” Wonwoo replied. “My only motivation is you, Jin.”

“Wonwoo, I don’t want to. I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if he rejects me, and I just don’t want to take the risk,” Jin replied with a sad shrug, “but thank you, really.”

“I’m still going to confess,” Wonwoo said, “and get my heart broken for you. So if you don’t confess, my heart will be broken for nothing.”

“Wonwoo…”

“Seriously. When we go to that restaurant this weekend, I’ll confess.”

“Don’t, please. If you’re doing it for me, then don’t.”

“I am,” Wonwoo said with conviction, “and so will you to Seokmin. Jin, you have to do it before it’s too late. I don’t want you to regret this when Seokmin and Sena really start dating. Even if he rejects you, you’ll at least go on without regretting that you did nothing about it. Plus, if he rejects you, we’ll be rejected together. You’ll come over to my dorm and we'll eat ice cream together and watch sad romantic movies. It’ll be fun. Minus the heartbreak part of course.”

“I…” Jin hesitated. “I’ll think about it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

Today, I made a drastic decision: I think I want to confess to Seokmin.

It was Wonwoo who encouraged me. He told me he thinks that I am so much like Jiwoo, and that Seokmin would not say no to me if he knew my feelings for him. He also made a convincing case. He told me if Sena and Seokmin do end up dating, I’ll regret it if. And he’s right.

I will do it. It will be my first confession, to someone I would say is my first love. And I might get rejected, and it might not work out and it might turn out awkward between me and him and he still might date Sena after it, but I need to at least try. I can’t just sit back and watch it happen.

I don’t know why I never considered it before until now. I just needed someone to push me, and Wonwoo did.

Me, Wonwoo and Mingyu are going to the Arab restaurant this weekend. Wonwoo says he wants to confess to Mingyu there to encourage me. I told him he did not have to, but he insisted that he wanted to.

He seems so sure he would get rejected, though. I wish he doesn’t, but even I can see that it would probably end that way. I do hope that somehow, magically, it does work out. Dear God, let it happen. Dear God, make Wonwoo happy and let him have this adventure with the person that he likes so much.

Dear God, make me happy too.

A/N: I always do this thing where I give you a Vernon chapter and then ignore him in the next chapter lol

He will be part of the next chapter though. I promise!!