Losing my Mind

A Forgotten Silhouette

            MinSeul sat at the island thinking about what she was going to do. “Otteke?” she talked to herself lowly, “I don’t know what to do?” MinSeul started to hit her head little by little, “Think, MinSeul, think.” She was about to hit her head again, but she felt someone grab her wrist. She looks and sees JunHyung sitting next to her. She was dumfounded, she didn’t even know when he came and sat there, “JunHyung.”

            “You shouldn’t be hitting yourself since you have a head injury.” He places her hand on the table.

            “Why are you over here? Why aren’t you over there with the guys?”

            “I came to rewrap your bandages.” He pointed at the supplies on the table, “Since it is getting close to your sleep time, it is better for you to have clean bandages.” They look at each other awkwardly, “So can I?”

            “Yeah go right ahead.” She swallowed hard and turns towards him.

 He unwraps the bandages on her head slowly. Their faces not that far apart from each other. As he reached over her shoulder she felt his breath on her neck which made her heart jump a little. She tried her best to calm herself down. When JunHyung saw how big the scar on her head he felt helpless.

“You should be more careful.” He put some ointment on her scar and she wince, “Mianhae…I’ll be more gentle.” He placed a clean gauze on her scar and wraps it firmly, “How does that feel?”

~♥~

“Just sit down I’ll be back.” I went into the kitchen and looked for the ointment that Halmeoni usually use it when I get sore. I look all over for it and found it in the last cabinet. I grab it and walked back.  He was looking at the pictures hanging on our wall. “I found it.” He turns back to look at me. “Let me see your neck.” He sat down on the couch, I walk over and look at his neck. It wasn’t bad it was just red. I start to apply the medicine onto his neck.

“You look really pretty with long hair.” I stop for a quick sec but continued applying the ointment, “Why did you cut it?”

“I cut it because I felt like trying something new.” I close the lid to the ointment and handed it to him. He looks up at me.

“Waeyo?”

“I’m giving it to you…take it and apply it to your neck.” He took it from my hand. I got up and walked to the door and open it. “See you this tomorrow.”

~♥~

She kept her eyes on him, “It feels fine.” He was about to take the bandage off her shoulder, “It okay, I’ll have Moon help me with that.” He smiles at her.

“Moon and you are in no condition to help each other out.” He says sternly, “I’ll finish it right up.” He finishes up her arm quickly and dispose of the dirty bandages and sits next to her, “You should always take care of yourself first before anyone else.”

“What are you saying?”

“I know that you and Moon are close but…just don’t do anything reckless like that ever again.” She saw the scared look in his eyes.

“JunHyung…even if it was to happen again I would do the same thing.” She holds his hands.

“MinSeul when I heard you were sent to the hospital my heart dropped.” He sighs, “I was thinking the worst things. The shooting site alone had so many bodies; I wouldn’t be able to bear see your lifeless body either.” he held her hands tightly, “Come back to Korea…go back with Moon and I’ll promise to meet you there.”

“JunHyung…I still need time.”

“I don’t trust you being here by yourself.” He sighs, “Your doctor told me that you go to the hospital often.” MinSeul didn’t look at him directly, “Are you sick?”

“It isn’t anything serious. It just when I first got here, my body wasn’t used to the environment.” She lets go of his hands and stands up, “I’m gonna go and grab some blankets and pillows for you and the guys.”

“Let me help you.” He follows her to the closet. She tries to reach for the pillows she was able to grab the edge of the pillow but the blankets fell from the top. JunHyung grabs her and shield her from the pillows and blankets that fell. Her heart was beating fast.

~♥~

“Jun-Hyung, I really don’t care what you say or do I am trying to study here. So if you don’t mind.” I went back to doing my work. He sat their without moving. I got up to go find another book he followed me but I didn’t care. When I found the book it was on a shelf that was within arm’s reach, I was determine to get it before he could.

“If you need help just tell me.” JunHyung tried to grab it but I jump and was able to get it first.

“I don’t need your hel-.” JunHyung quickly grabs me and turns me around. The sound of books falling to the ground could be heard. I was so puzzled by the quick movement I didn’t move. I heard him groan a bit.

“Are you okay?” he looked down at me.

“I’m fine.” I look at him. “You?” he rubs his neck and nods. The librarian came and check on the noise and I push him away quickly. I apologize and put all the book back and we both left the library.

~♥~

“Are you okay?” JunHyung asked and it brought her back to reality, “You didn’t get hit on the head or anything right?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” He let go of her and they picked up the blankets and walked to the living room. Moon was already asleep in DooJoon’s arms and he patting her head. “We brought some blankets for you guys if you guys wanted to use them.”

“Thanks, but we’re gonna head back to the hotel.” HyungSeung stood up, “Since we’re gonna head back this weekend, we’re gonna go get ready.”

“You guys go ahead.” Said DooJoon, “I’m staying here for the night.”

“Me too.” MinSeul looks at JunHyung, “I’m not too comfortable with leaving the girls alone just yet.”

“It is fine, you two don’t have to stay.” MinSeul didn’t want the guys to stay but she didn’t want them to leave either, “We’ll be okay.”

“Ani, we’re going to stay here.” MinSeul couldn’t argue with the guys, especially in her condition.

“Fine, but you aren’t sleeping on the couch.” She pointed at DooJoon, “Take Moon to my room and you and JunHyung can sleep in the guest room.” DooJoon picks up Moon and take her to the room. MinSeul and JunHyung sees the guys out to their car.

As the guys drives away the two went back towards the apartments. JunHyung grabs MinSeul’s hand. She looked at him with a shocked expression.

“What are you doing?” he walked closer to her and she leans back, “JunHyung.” he was close to the point where their body touched, “What are you doing?” he leaned in and she closes her eyes.

“I think your scar open up.”

“Huh?” he observes her head.

“C’mon let go bandage that.” He leads the way to the apartment and sets her down on the couch and went and grabbed the supplies. He came back with a worried face, “Something must have hit you.” He sighs, “I can’t even protect you from pillows and blankets.” He unwraps the bandage. MinSeul chuckles, “What?”

“I’m not going to die JunHyung.” he pouts and continues with the bandage, “JunHyung.”

            “What?” she hesitated

            “I’m sorry.”

            “What?” JunHyung was confused, “What are you apologizing for?”

            “For never listening to what you have to say.” She played around with her hands, “I’m sorry for always leaving you without ever letting you know until I’m already leaving.”

            “MinSeul, where is all of this coming from?”

            “At the shooting, I didn’t even know if I was going to come out alive from it. Things kept going through my mind as every gun fired.” She calmed herself down, “If I was going to regret anything…the biggest thing would have been that I never got to apologize for my selfishness...,” she was going to pour her heart out to him, it was now or never, “and never-- ” His phone rings interrupting the conversation, “You should get that.”

            “Min…”

            “No go ahead,” he answers his phone. She watches him go to the kitchen and throw away the bandages. She felt her heart flutter and felt the heat in her cheeks. She turns around and gets up. When she walked to her room she saw DooJoon a sleep next to Moon. She shakes her head with a smile and closes the door.

“What is wrong?” she looks up at JunHyung.

“Ohh…DooJoon and Moon are asleep in my room.” the both looked awkwardly at each other.

“I can sleep -.” MinSeul cut him off

“Ani, you’re my guest, I can’t have you sleep on the couch.” She grabs the blanket and pillow from the couch.

“But your injured Min.” he grabs the blanket and pillow, “I’ll sleep here.”

“Just go sleep in the guest room.” she takes the pillow and blanket away from him, “Go.”

“Min.” they both try to take the pillow from each other and starts playing tug-o-war, “Let go.” the both start laugh as they fought for the pillow.

“Just go JunHyung.”

“Aniyo.” He pulled the pillow towards the room and they both ended up in the guest room. He made sure her back was facing the bed before letting go. She fell right on to the bed, “Annyeong.” He left and closed the door.

“Yah, Yong JunHyung.” She sits up on the bed. JunHyung held the door closed. He was having fun messing with her.

“If you don’t sleep in the room don’t regret what I do to you.”

“Who scared of you?” she smiles as she got up and open the door, “I’m-.” Before she could say anything he kissed her. She didn’t react to the kiss at first, but she responded soon after. She didn’t know what was wrong but somewhere from the bottom of her heart she was happy…satisfied…and finally relieved of her stress. They both slowly departed from each other’s lips and stared at each other breathless.

“I’m sorry.” He felt guilty. His eyes did not meet hers, but her eyes stared deep into his soul. As if in a trance caused by her desire, she cups his face with her hands and slowly lifted his face up making eye contact with her. For those few seconds she wasn’t thinking about anything except that she was madly in love with the man in front of her. She stared at his plump lips and slowly she closed the gap between her and him. He wrapped one of his arm around her waist and the other on her head to deepen the kiss; then he remembers something. He broke the kiss, “What about them?” She walked backwards while leading him into the room and he shut the door behind.

♥♥♥♥♥

The Next Day

            At the hotel the guys were packing their things to get ready for the flight the next day. They head back towards the company afterwards. JunHyung, DooJoon, and Moon stood outside the company on their phone. The couple were taking couple selfies and fusing over what was cute and what was ugly. JunHyung was in his own world about ten feet away from the couple. He kept slapping his phone on his other hand staring at the entrance.

            “What are you guys all doing here?” asked HyungSeung, “Aren’t the girls supposed to be resting?” He hooks one arm around DooJoon’s shoulder and looked at the couple’s picutres.

            “They were, but MinSeul insisted that she come to the company.” DooJoon removes HyungSeung’s arm and continue to look at pictures, “Moon wanted to come along and we couldn’t stop the girls.” DooJoon sighs, “So we followed them here.”

            “Oh.” Their eyes wondered from the phone to the slapping noise that JunHyung was making with his phone. Everyone notice his nervous look. “What is wrong with JunHyung-hyung?” whispers DongWoon.

            “He has been like that all morning.” Said Moon, “Ever since we left this morning he hasn’t been able to stand still. He was even in the living room waiting for us.” DooJoon’s head shoots up.

“Now that I think about it MinSeul has been the same way too.” He walked over to JunHyung, “Yah!”

“OMO!” Junhyung jumped, “DooJoon…” he places a hand over his heart.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a little scared, but yeah I am fine.” He tries to recompose himself.

“Are you sure?” DooJoon observes him from top to bottom, “You look a little…on edge.”

“ANIYA--.” He clears his throat, “I mean…that I am okay. 100%” DooJoon placed a finger on his chin and then pointed at JunHyung.

“Did you and MinSeul get into another misunderstanding?”

            “Ani…we.” He sighs, “We…umm.” He didn’t know how to explain it to the guys, “It complicated right now.”

            “Spill it JunHyung.”

            “We sort of,” MinSeul walks out from the building, “I’ll let you know when I am certain.” He walks right around DooJoon and towards MinSeul. He grabs her hand and drags her towards the other side of the building. Leaving the others wondering what exactly was going on between those two.

 

            “JunHyung…what are you doing?” she struggles to get out of his grip. He comes to a stop at a far deserted corner of the building. He checks the surrounding. “JunHyung.” He let her hand go, “Why did you bring me here?”

            “We need to talk about what happened last night.” He turns around and looks at her. She swallowed her saliva as soon as she saw his stare. “I know what happened last night was beyond what we could have imagined…and what happened between us progressed a little too fast.”

            “Are you upset about last night?”

            “No, no, no…that is not what I am saying.” He sighs as he tries to revises his words, “What I am saying is…MinSeul is that I…I’m sorry I should have stopped myself.”

            “What happened last night was my fault.” She thinned her lips, “If I hadn’t forced you…whatever.” She looks straight into his eyes, “What happened has already happened.” She took one last big breath trying to stop the tears, “If that is all than I shall get going.” She starts to take a couple of steps away.

            “MinSeul…” she looks at him, “What did you want to say to me last night?” she felt like she shrunk. She basically told him in a different way. She didn’t know how the words were going to come out. The feeling and timing was already gone.

            “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

            “Tomorrow is going to be too late.” he was getting upset, "I'm leaving back to Seoul."

            “If tomorrow you don’t see me, just leave don’t wait up.” She sighs, “I’ll find another way to tell you.” She walks to her car and heads to the hospital.

♥♥♥♥♥

            MinSeul sat on the observation table with a small bandage on her arm. She swung her foot back and forth contemplating on how to tell him. She sighs in anger as she felt like there were no way to tell him. Dr. Choi walks in and notice the distress look on her face.

            “What is wrong Michelle?” she looks at him, “You look a little distress.”

            “A little.” She smiles, “But it’s nothing I can’t handle.” He kept his eyes on the clipboard he had and looked it over. “Is everything okay?”

            “Hmm?” he looks up at her blank face. He looks back down at his sheet, “Ne…everything looks normal.” He places the clipboard down on the counter and walks towards her and sat in the stool next to her, “How is your head?” she touches the bandage on her head, “Is the pain bothering you?” he takes a look at it.

            “Ani, I actually haven’t felt any pain since yesterday. I’m a little sore but that is all.”

            “That is good.” He had a sad stare, “If there isn’t anything else than you are free to go.” he went and grabbed his clipboard.

            “JinHyuk-oppa.” He looks at her, “Gomawa…for being there for me for the past couple of years.”

            “Where is this coming from?” She had a soft smile, “You aren’t leaving, are you?” He smirked back at her.

            “I’m considering it.” She gets off the table and grabs her jacket, “I’m planning on going back to Korea.”

            “When?”

            “Whenever I am finished with my projects here.” She grabs her purse and sling it over her shoulders, “So…I should see you a couple more times before I leave.” She walks out the door after him, “Thank you and see you next time.” He watched her walk down the hall.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

            MinSeul walks to her apartment and finds JunHyung hanging out by the door kicking his feet around. She sighs and walks and stands right next to him. He looks up and sees her close to him.

            “MinSeul.” He puts his hand on her shoulder, “There you are.” He checks her up and down, “Are you okay? Where did you go?”

            “I’m fine, I just went to see my doctor to check my head.”

            “Why didn’t you let anyone know that you were going to go and do that…you didn’t even tell Moon.”

            “If I told Moon she would have followed me; and she is supposed to be on a date with DooJoon before you guys all leave tomorrow.” MinSeul looks around and unlocks her door, “Come in before someone sees you.” He walks in, “Go ahead and sit down, I’ll bring some water.”

He went and sit down on the couch. MinSeul went and got some water and set it down on the table. She sets one glass in front of him and one in front of her. She notices the concentration on his face. She sits right next to him.

“So do you like your Doctor?”

“What?”

“Your doctor, Dr. Choi JinHyuk.”

“He is a great doctor. What is not to like about him?” they both took a sip of their water.

“That isn’t what I meant.” He sighs and sets his cup down, “I mean do you like him as a man, not as your doctor?” MinSeul was confused.

“Am I supposed to?”

“So you haven’t notice anything?” MinSeul got irritated, “Not the way he treats you, or the way he talks to you.”

“Yong JunHyung, what exactly are you trying to ask me?” MinSeul sighs, “Dr. Choi is my doctor, and he takes care of me.” JunHyung stood up in anger and MinSeul watches as he stands.

“What kind of doctors send his patient gifts and comes and visits them!” he raised his voice, “What kind of a doctor yells at the patient’s significant other.”

“One who cares.” She looks at him and stands up, “JinHyuk is my doctor.”

“So you guys go by first name bases now?” he scoffs, “You guys are that close now huh?”

“Yong JunHyung, he is my doctor…if I want to get to know him on a first name bases then who is to stop me. Who said that we can’t have a relationship outside of work?” she falls back onto her chair, “He is the only Korean friend I have here, so why can’t you just back off.”

“He doesn’t think of you as a friend.”

“YONG JUNHYUNG”

“He likes you, he really like you and more than a friend.” His voice was stern, “I just can’t stand by and watch--,” he pauses mid-sentence, “I can’t lose you again.”

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asianflava13
Chap 11 should be up soon. Sorry about the delay.

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asianflava13
#1
Check out my new story
lovelexx3 #2
Chapter 53: They're finally together. After all the ups and downs and all the insecurity that they hard about their relationship. It goes to show how nuch hard work goes into maintaining a relationship. It will always hurt but their's wounds will slowly heal after putting aside their differences with each other. Even if there is no one else out there as long as there was a closure. You will be able to move on. Good job! You've made me cry and laugh with your story. I'm glad to have stick by it after all these years^^
ILBYJH712 #3
Chapter 50: Can u at least make junhyung the hurt one too or fainting or broken but not his fault???heeee just asking..btw its a beautiful story i love it...fighting...
leks89
#4
Chapter 50: it's great that you updated.. I was waiting!!! This story is simply daebak!! good job authornim... ^^
lovelexx3 #5
Chapter 41: The angst is no joke. I cried reading this scene. But it is true that only Minseul can leave and she has to leave because of the pain. At least there is a closure for them.
naztafatigue
#6
Chapter 41: Please, make them be together and happy forever...
shahirasyafiqah #7
Chapter 40: just let them be happy forever. im so sad to see their relationship. i hope things will end happily
shahirasyafiqah #8
Chapter 39: so frustrated to see minseul hurt too much. im so happy doojoon with moon. and junhyungieeee please take me if minseul did not want you. kekekek kidding. waiting for next update. this story still my fav from the beginning. not a liar.
Shirass501
#9
Chapter 38: Really hope that they will get married soon and Doo Joon will confess to Moon!
shintaerin
#10
Chapter 36: Why always like this??? Please let minseul be happy..