“Doojoon?” your eyes widen in surprise, quickly you opened your door and finding a-not-usually-drunk-Doojoon. He couldn’t stand well, he’s stumbled, leaning on your door.

“____-ah” he called your name “I miss you” he smiled before falling to the ground.

“Yah, why are you..aish, what’s wrong with you?” you put his arm around your shoulder tried to help him to get up, but he’s too heavy. He’s already fainted, made him heavier.

Seungho heard noises from the front door and you’re not in the couch no more, he ran headed to the door. “What…”

“Seungho, help me, palli!” you commanded. Seungho quickly slung his arm around Doojoon’s shoulder and another arm on his waist to support his body, he brought him to the couch.

“Is it the first time he drunk?” Seungho commented,

“Will he be alright, Seungho? Should we bring him to the hospital?” you asked without looking at him. you were busy took Doojoon’ shoes and jacket off.

 “Yah, he’s just drunk, _____-ah” you stared at Seungho worriedly “Okay? Calm, he’s…just…drunk”

“But…he really can’t drink alcohol, he’ll sleep straight after one shot, he….”

“____-ah” seungho called your name firmly.  “He’ll be fine”

“I’m sorry ____-ah” he said in his sleep. “I love you, I love you ____-ah, I love you” he said again as he sniff and curled his body before finally fell asleep again. You were taken aback at what he just said. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, they started to get teary but the tears couldn’t came out, never thought you’d gonna hear that word again from his mouth. It didn’t make your heart better, it felt it cracked more after all the pain you were through, that’s word more sounded like thunder that make your wall crumbling down, again.

*how could you said you love me while you’re dating her?* Didn’t know it’s a curse or it’s a fate, Doojoon always came back again everytime you started to move forward.

“I..i need to call” you said to Seungho, he just gave you slightly smile. Grabbed your phone you walked to the balcony and started to looking for a name you could call. You stopped on a name, *G.Na?*

*No, they’ll have a fight because of me* you ran your thumb on your phone screen again. *Junhyung? No, I can’t*

After thinking for a while, you have a name on your mind, quickly you typed that name and call it.

“Hello, ____-ah”

“Oppa, can you come to my house now?”

***

You were leaning your back on the wall as you staring at the man who was laying on your couch. Seungho’s beside you. Suddenly a knock was heard from your door. You were about to walk to the door but he stopped you. “Let me” he said as he walked to the door. Seungho came back with two guys behind him.

“Hyunseung oppa??”

“hey ____ah” he greeted you.

“Ngg..I brought Hyunseung too” Joonkuni said.

“Oppa, sorry for making you come this late.” You said

“No, it’s alright, it’s my..”

“Don’t hate me ____-ah” Doojoon mumbled in his sleep again, cut off the manager. His head almost touched the floor this time, four of you stared at him then stared at you.

“He’s drunk when he knocked on my door,“ you explained simply. “Can you take him home, oppa? I can’t take someone else’s boyfriend…”

“____-ah, listen..” Joonkuni cut you. “do you remember the day we met at the Cube? When Doojoon suddenly pooped out in the middle I want to tell you something?,” Joonkuni said, you just stared at him as respond and waiting him to say what he want to say. But his eyes landed on Seungho, telling that he couldn’t say it if he’s there.

“Okay, okay, i’ll take some food in the kitchen” seungho walked to the kitchen, no idea where to go, understand what the manager wanted.

“I really want to tell you this, but he asked me not to, he didn’t allowed me to tell the boys too,” he said after Seungho leave. “It’s fake” he said simply. You gave him a wondering looked.

“Doojoon and G.Na weren’t really dating, _____-ah, it’s fake” Hyunseung said this time. You didn’t know whether it’s a good news or a bad one, but tears already rolled down to your cheek. You ran your fingers to wiped your tears before ran them through your hair.

“It’s not the first time he drunk like this, I didn’t know since when he could stand it, but you are  the only thing he talked about when he’s drunk” Joonkuni explained, made you more frustrated. Didn’t know what you were feeling, didn’t know what you have to do now. “It’s company’s strategy, you know, G.Na did a succeed comeback, CEO thought with pairing him and G.Na will gain more attention for the boy’s next album”

You only stared at the sleeping figure in front of you. “..he did this for the boys, though he knew he and the boys could make it without that silly strategy, he wanted to bring the boys to the top, he didn’t want to be failed, it’s his dream _____ah, he just did what he thought a leader should do”

You were hurting, you were in pain, but you felt guilty because you have blamed him, he just did this for the boys, for his dream. “I know, I don’t have a right to say this, but please, don’t hate him ____-ah, he loves you,” Joonkuni said again “I never saw him that happy when he’s with you, he has sparks in his eyes when he’s with you”

"___-ah, forgive us, because of us, you and Doojoon..." 

“Do the boys know?” you asked cut Hyunseung off.

“aa...Only me, the rest of the boys haven’t knew it” Hyunseung said this time.

You just keep silent. You really didn’t have idea what were you feeling.  “Don’t let them know, then, oppa” you said made them surprised.

 “___-ah, don’t you dare to ask us not to…” Hyunseung called your name.

“Don’t let the boys know, oppa, don’t let Doojoon know i know this thing. Promise me?” you repeated your words.

“Fine, i promise. forgive us, won't you?"

“Ani, oppa…it's not your fault, what will be, will be” you said and took a deep sigh “and this is how it should be” you fake a smile “Take him home oppa” you said.

“____-ah, I’m sorry again, but I don’t think we can take him hoaaaam” Hyunseung said as he pretending to yawn, Joonkuni nodded his head and pretending yawn to be as well. You gave him a what looked. “It’s been a long time, we haven’t see you and him happy, he really wanted to be with you, and so do you,” he took a breath before continuing “please let him to stay here tonight ____ah,”

“Oppa I-I ca….”

“I think we should take our leave, see you” Hyunseung and Joonkuni smiled before leaving you and Doojoon.

“Oppa, take him home, oppa” you pleaded as you followed them.

“C’mon, Seungho, no need to eavesdropping, let’s home” Hyunseung said as he grabbed Seungho, ignored you. Seungho just smirked at you. “Take your time ___-ah” Hyunseung and Joonkuni waved their hand without turning back. You could tell they were all smirking.

“can they at least bring him to the room?” you mumbled to yourself. “Aish, what should I do with you now?” you nagged to sleeping Doojoon. You stared at his face, walking your finger through his forehead, his nose, then his lips, carefully not to touch his skin. He looked so tired, and getting thinner since the last time you saw him closely. Suddenly you felt like the world stopped spinning and time getting slowly.  No sounds heard but his breath and your heartbeat that’s pounding crazily.

***

Doojoon woke up by the sun light that came inside the slightly opened curtain. He haven’t woke up when you’re about to go to your work and you didn’t know what’s his schedules that day, so you opened it slightly hoped that it could wake him up.

Suddenly you felt like the world stopped spinning and time getting slowly.  No sounds heard but his breath and your heartbeat that’s pounding crazily. You quickly made distance and rubbed your cheeks repeatedly to calm and control your self. You got up walked to your room and closed the door hurriedly. Leaning back on the door, you hold your breath, could still feel your heart pounding. Suddenly you opened your door and ran to where he was quickly.

“I can’t leave him alone on the couch, his body will be hurt if he sleep in that position” you said to yourself before finally you slung your arms around his arm and body, trying hard to support his body and brought him to your room.

“Whoaah...you’re so..heavyh” you said as you panting. But he just laid there in your bad with a little sad and tired face. You straight his position so he could sleep in a comfortable position before pulling the blanket till his neck and sat beside the bed.

“Babo..babo...babo, you’re so babo” you cursed at him “you should tell me the truth from the start” your eyes got teary “..so i won’t mad at you like crazy,” tears started rolled down “..don’t people tell you, mad at the person we love is like we mad at our self? It you know..” didn’t bother to wipe the tears. ”Why you have to make me think like you leave me? Do you think with that i’ll forget you easily and have a happy life with someone else?”

“After what we did, what we have,...do you think i still love Junhyung in that way? babo” you chuckled

“..you’re wrong, you made my life sadder and my heart, you locked it and bring it’s key with you, it doesn’t let someone else in and now...you make me guilty by thinking you’ve hurt me. You’re so meanie Doojoon-ah”

“I didn't hate you, don't make your self hurt. i love you, I already have told you that i love you three times, but you didn’t hear it? ”

“You owe me these tears Yoon Doojoon, you have to pay this with your life” you pouted as you inting his nose, acting like you were angry.

“Yah...why you keep sleeping, you’ll miss it again  if you keep sleeping,” you nagged at him just like he could hear you “I love you Yoon Doojoon”

Doojoon rubbed his eyes and opened them slowly and looking around. Feeling a little dizzy he closed his eyes again as he rubbed his back of his neck.

“You owe me these tears Yoon Doojoon, you have to pay this with your life”

“Yah...why you keep sleeping, you’ll miss this again if you keep sleeping, I love you”

“It felt so real,” He smiled sadly as he remembering his dream. Hoped that it’s not a dream. He opened his eyes looking around once again. He’s fully woke up. It didn’t feel like his room but it looked so familiar. He looked around again, trying to match what he saw with the memory in his head. “____-ah??” he rushed out from your room as exactly as he relaize that he’s on your room.

“____ah?” he checked all the room in your house but he couldn’t find signs of your present. Then his  eyes laid on the table in front of the couch. A note with a not-that-hot-chocolate on it and his shirt once you wore.

“Doojoon-ah, i’m on my work already. Your drunk, last night, you remember, right? Nothing happened (just in case you think that anything happened). You haven’t woke up yet when i’m about to go and i don’t want to bother your sleep. I have prepared your shirt if you need clean clothes. Sorry, i didn’t make you breakfast, you know...i almost burnt your house the last time i cooked, and yeah, i hope this hot chocolate can make it up, ngg..not-that-hot chocolate maybe when you read this. Please lock my house when you leave and put the key on the usual place, i don’t want my house robbed.

Thank you~”

A smile formed in his face. Though he couldn’t see you, he’s happy enough knowing he stayed in your house. Thing that made him happier was you let him to stay and you treat him just like the days back then. It’s hurting him like hell when you acted like both of you were stranger. If he couldn’t have you, he wanted to stay on your side, no matter what he is for you, he wanted to stay on your side. That’s what he wanted for that moment, but deep down in his heart he’s longing for you, he really want to have you. "So, it's not a dream?"

***

Your works already over, didn’t bring your car that day, you didn’t even bother to call taxi. Ji eun offered to take you home but you rejected. You really want to enjoy your time alone, there’s so much thing in your head. Joonkuni oppa’s said played in your mind, non stop. You put on your earphone and play your ipod as you walked nowhere.

*He should tell me earlier, i won’t be like this, he had a hard time, i’m too selfish to think that i’m the only one that’s hurt. i should stay in his side, not blaming and thinking that he just play me, aish....that babo!*  guilty didn’t stop hitting you since last night.

You were about to cross the road when a car stopped right in front of you, made you jolted in surprised and let out a deep sigh as realized it didn’t hit you. A man with beanie, black coat and a black glasses got out of the car. You couldn’t see his face clearly, it’s night already, and his coat almost covering his mouth. He walked toward you and hold your wrist.

“Come with me”

 “Whah! Who are you?” you said, trying hard not to make your voice sound crack of scared and hissed his grip.

“Get in” he said again as he grabbed your body this time and trying to get you in his car.

“Yah..let me go! Don’t touch me! Keep your ing hands away from me!” you struggled but it’s a waste, he’s stronger that you, he covered your mouth with his hands and closed the door.