You’d been woken up by splat sound on your window. Rain. Slowly opened your eyes. You could feel a little pain when you parted them. Your eyes were swollen. You’recrying yourself to sleep. You got up but still stayed at the bed. Dizzy. You sat on your bed, with your back and head leaned on the wall as you massage your head gently. You stared at the ceiling, remembered what’s goin on last night.

“I love you….and I know you love me too”

“Is it because of Doojoon?”

Junhyung’s words were replaying on your head. You closed your eyes, slowly a tear rolled down on your cheek from the corner of your right eyes. You wiped it quickly. Took a deep breath you could feel pain going trough your chest.

*Why you have to say this when I started to moving on, Junhyung-ah?* you hold both of your knees and fell your forehead on them, started to crying again. You’re not an easy to cry, but didn’t know why, you couldn’t help the pain in your heart. Dilemma, guilty, love, angry turned into one.

Didn’t want to drown on your sorrow, you dragged your self out of your bed to the bathroom. You washed your body, hoped it could wash away your pain also. Unfortunately, it couldn’t. Image of Junhyung and Doojoon filled your mind, image of Hara that day made it worst. You wore a long sleeves shirt and sweatpant you randomly picked. You didn’t even bother to comb your hair. You just tied it in a messy tight bun. You fell your lazily on your couch, switch on the tv, hoping get some distraction. You changed the chanel randomly, an image made you stopped changing it. Doojoon’s face were on the screen now, with a girl in front of him. He’s on the drama. You saw the girl slowly leaned in, her face was inch away from him. Suddenly she placed her lips on his lips, your eyes blinked for several times.

“” you muttered. What you just saw made your blood boiled, though you know it’s just drama, but still, they’re kissing, her lips are on his lips. Sadness filled your self. You shook your head as you imagined if this scene was happening in true life.

*Arghh…babo, who do you love ____-ah? Do you still love Junhyung? Do you start love Doojoon?* you asked to your self. You searched your phone immediately and checked it. Nothing, not even one call or message from Doojoon.

*Is it okay that guy didn’t call you after sweet second date?* You frowned.

Suddenly, knocks were heard from your door. Quickly you put your phone on your pocket as you ran to the door *is it him?* you thought happily. Opened the door impatiently, you only saw wet Ji Eun in front of you. You gave him an ugly face, dissapointed.

“Yah…what’s with that face?” she said as she made her way in without your permission, she went to the bathroom looked for a towel to dry her self. You put your back on your couch without answer her.

“Are you waiting someone?” she said as she dried her hair. You shook your head.

“Are you crying?” she said, her face was inch away from yours. Observing you.

“I’m not” you lied.

“Don’t lie, you’re not good at it” she said. You nodded your head slowly and hold your knees. “So, what?” she asked simply.

“What, what?”

“Your problem, silly, come tell Umma” you chuckled at her act. She’s two elder than you. She’s a colleague, a friend, a sister and sometimes your nanny. You have known her for two year. But you never told her about your love story. The only thing she know that you’re a permanent single and she’s an expert in love life. She has a bunch of boyfriends, though she couldn’t handle them, she still have them till now. She’s a girl boys couldn’t reject.

“Boys? That Junhyung and Doojoon guy?” You were taken aback at her words.

“How..did you? I didn’t remember I have told you” you said shyly.

“Yah…do you forget who I am?” she smirked, made a pose like cleopatra. You chuckled. “So, what’s goin on dear?”

“Junhyung, he’s my bestfriend and Doojoon is his bestfriend……” you started to tell her your story till what’s goin on last night. She nodded her head occasionally as a sign that she’s listening you. You wiped your tears and tried to smile, feeling awkward telling someone else about your love story. She helped you wiped it. She took a deep breath.

“…it’s okay to be selfish in love sometimes, ____-ah. There must be someone who will be hurt because of it, or more.”

“But…”

“Making everyone happy is such a mission impossible, broken heart isn’t something that can’t be healed. It will, if you want it to heal it. May be it will left you a scar, but you won’t feel it hurt anymore in the right time, by the right person, you won’t think about it anymore.”she turned her head to you who stared at her intensely and flashed a smile before she continued.

“None can’t tell you what you do in love but your heart. Don’t give love a bad name, you should be happy ____-ah because of it.”

“Are you Ji Eun?” you said made her flicked your forehead. You winced in pain as you rubbed your forehead.

“Yah! Can’t you say thank you?” she chuckled, and looked away. “You know, you’re lucky. You only have two man who love you, me? I have a bunch of boyfriends who said love me but I don’t really know who loves me sincerely, I don’t even know who’s the one that I love”

“Yah, you still….full of yourself as always” you laughed. ”I know who loves you and who you love!” you said, she raised her eyebrows, made a questioning look.

“Me, I love you Unnie and I know you love me too” you held her hand, acting cute to entertain her. Though she always went to party at night and stayed with another man each morning, you know she’s actually didn’t enjoy it. She’s lonely.

“I need a man, not a messy girl like you” she said as she walked to the fridge.

*I’m lucky I have you, Ji Eun* you thought.

“By the way, that Junhyung guy is….mmm….” you turned your head to her direction. “…mmm..cute” she said made you gave her a glare.

“No, don’t you dare to do something to my bestfriend!” you said protectively.

“Mmm…bestfriend, I still have a chance then”

“He has a girlfriend” you said, unwittingly frowned. Didn’t know why thought of Hara made you even worst.

“I can dump her for him, may be I could made him move from you” she chuckled, teased you. You didn’t say a word. Speechless. “Hmm…okay, I’ll take that Doojoon guy then, he’s y” she said as she saw you speechless.

“Yah! Ji Eun!” you yelled at her as you throw the pillow near you to her direction. Ji Eun only chuckled when she saw you angry.

“Ahaha, have you know who you love more, now?” still chuckled. You didn’t get her words. She shook her head saw you who looked like a fool trying to understand her words. “Aish, Babo! This boys problem made you forget to buy some food?” You ignored her, still trying to understand what she’s actually said. “Aish, get a life, ____-ah! let’s eat!” she said grabbed you out.

***

You and Ji Eun were on the noodle restaurant near your place. Hot noodle was the best food when rain like this. Jie eun was eating her food like she haven’t ate for years, but you only stared absent-mindedly through the window. It’s still rain out there.

“Staring at the window like that wouldn’t make someone who you love come to you” she said made you came back to reality.

“huh?”

“You know, regreting something that we didn’t do is more hurting than regreting something we have done, ____-ah. Do you want to remember someone and feeling pain in your heart after ten or twenty years because something you didn’t do?” You shook your head hard, answering her question. “So…What are you waiting for? Go tell him! Run for your love!”

She’s right, Ji Eun is right. You didn’t want to call someone’s name in your sleep for years because something that unfinished. You nodded your head. “What time is it?” you asked her.

“A quarter after nine?” she looked at her watch.

You gave her a quick hold and peck her cheek and yelled “I don’t know what send you to my home, but thank you, I love you, I take the umbrella!” you ran immediately.

“Yah! I said run it doesn’t mean you have to really run!” she yelled at you though she knew you didn’t listen her. A smile formed in her face.

You ran as fast as you could, as you prayed you could find him. *he should be there* you said in your heart. Smiling while running like an idiot.