Junhyung drove you home. That was a quiet way to home. You didn’t bother to say a word, so did he. He didn’t say a word but you could tell by his eyes, there’s so much he wanted to say to calm you. He turned his eyes on you occasionaly. You hate his worried eyes. They made you feel like you were burden for him. You didn’t want get someone else trouble. You didn’t want anyone felt your pain. You pretended to sleep along the way home so you won’t see his eyes. But tears didn’t stop falling down on your cheeks.

You could feel that you were arrived at your place. He opened your door and kneeled down. He observed your face before wipe your tears track on your cheeks. “Babo” he said as he chuckled. His chuckled felt bitter.

*How dare he babo me?* you cursed.

Suddenly  you felt a warm breathe getting close with your face. *what..what he’s gonna do?* you hold your breath and keep your eyes closed nervously. You didn’t want to be caught that you just pretended to be sleep. Next, you could feel his hand carressed your cheek, you felt a soft lips landed on your forehead. Your heart skipped a beat. “Don’t cry, no more” he said. Your heart fluttered at what he said. “Wish i could take your heart back” he said before chuckled bitterly and patted your head gently so you wouldn’t wake up. Guilty hit you at the right spot. *Junhyung...* he bridal-style you to your room.

***

It’s almost four in the morning Junhyung woke up by his phone never ending rang. “Hello?” he mumbled as he regained his soul to come back to his body.

“Where are you? why you’re not home?” the manager hyung nagged.

“What’s wrong?” he said to the point because he knew that must be something wrong when manager hyung called him in this time.

“Do you think everything is alright after you left the stage and not come back?” Junhyung listened him in a half sleep. “Yong Junhyung, listen, we’ll have press conference this morning, you better come early and tell me what’s goin on or…” Junhyung turned his phone and throw it away to the table.

He groaned and stretched his body. He felt pain all over his body because of sleeping on your couch. He looked at the ceiling and blinked his eyes for a few times. Remembering what’s going on. “I can’t believe he did that” he said under his breath. As he got his soul back 100%, he walked to your room and checked you. His eyes widened in shock as he didn’t find you in your room.

“____-ah?” he called out your name as he checked the bathroom. You’re not there. He checked the other room as he calling out your name. All he could hear was his voice. Grabbed his phone, he dialed your number. He could hear a familiar ringtone from your room. He found your phone on your bag. “! she didn’t bring it. Where are you going ____-ah??” he mumbled. He ran his fingers through his hair as he thinking where you might be were. “Doojoon!” he ran through the door and grabbed a coat as he got the answer.

***

You were about to opened your door but suddenly it’s opened. Made you surprise. You saw the worried and angry Junhyung in front of you. You could tell it by his eyes. You’re frozen in your place. He glared at you, little bit shocked finding you sweating and swollen eyes.

“Where have you been?”

“Jogging?” you lied, you gave him a weak smile. May it couldn’t be called jogging, you were runaway to be exact. You didn’t guess that he’s woke up this early morning. You tried your best to avoid his stare.

“with that dress? At this time?” he asked you suspiciously. You looked down to see what you were wearing. Oh, great! You’re still wearing your dress last night.

“I’m tired” you said simply as you made your way inside. He grabbed your arms when you walked pass him.

“You met him?” he shoot the point. You stared at him, disbelief. You hissed his grip and  made your way to the couch. You felt so tired. Not only your body, your mind and heart felt more exhausted. You fell your body to the couch and leaned your body to it, closing your eyes. It hurts a little when you close them. Junhyung sat beside you. Didn’t say a word, just stared at you, waiting your answer.

“I just have a nightmare” you said as you curled your body, looking nowhere blankly.

FLASHBACK

You couldn’t sleep. Junhyung has left you for two hours ago and you still couldn’t close your eyes. There you were, curling your self on your bed as tears rolled down to your cheeks and your pillow. You couldn’t believe what’s going on. How could he did this to you after all the sweet things he done.

*How could you do this to me? How could you broke my heart after you made me fallen for you? I hate you*  your heart screamed out of it’s pain, made your tears came heavily. *why does thing mess up when I just start it?*

“Ah, everyone, tonight I’m gonna tell you an...important news, i’m a little bit shy to say it but, i and G,Na were dating, please take care of us”

His words lingered on your mind. The wide smile that plastered in his face hours ago when he announced his relationship with G.Na, you couldn’t erase it from your mind. The memories of you and him made it worst. You hold your chest, you could feel it’s pain. *It must be a nightmare, I have to wake up now, this pain must be gone when I wake up* you said to yourself. You closed your eyes and opened it again. That pain was still there, you could feel the pain. Unfortunately, it’s not a dream.

You woke up from your bed, your lungs needed fresh air. You saw Junhyung who slept on your couch when you walked out of your room. He looked so tired. *I’m sorry* You stared at him for a while before sneaking out from your own house.

Your feet brought you to his place. There you were, in front of his door. You didn’t bother to knock, but you just sat there. Holding your knees to your chest and leaned your head on your knees. You just missed him so much. Slowly you fall into a sleep.

***

It’s three in the morning. He just came home after driving all night long, tried to calm his mind. But failed. He saw a familiar figure curled in front of his door, shivering. She only wore a dress. She’s asleep. He walked closer. It’s you. Kneeled down at you, he stared at the sleeping you. . *What is she doing here? Why does Junhyung let her being here alone? aish!* he wondered.

He touched you. Your skin were so cold. *She must be here for hours, how much i want to pull you in my arms right now ____-ah, but..I can’t* his heart turned into pieces seeing you.

He poke her shoulder slightly.  She opened her eyes slowly. He could tell she has cried for a long time, her eyes swollen. He still saw that crystal on her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asked coldly as he stood up and unlocked his door. You quickly stood up. “Where’s Junhyung?”

“tell me it’s a lie” you said ignoring his question. He turned around at you. You could tell that you looked so phatetic at that time, but you couldn’t help it anymore. You needed his explanation.

“How could be it’s a lie when I have said that on the stage and in front of our fans?” he said.

“So…what..what about us?” you said that words timidly, like your throat never allowed them to come out.

He stared at you deeply, but you couldn’t catch anything. “Forget it ___-ah” he finally said. He remained quiet again before saying.“I thought you could erase her from my mind, but I’m wrong.” He said as he crossed her finger behind his back. He just said the biggest lie on his life.

He turned back again, back facing you. “I can’t do it anymore. I won’t asked you to love me anymore. You love him and he loves you too. Better you go home now, he must be looking for you now” with that he closed the door, left you outside.

Tears fall down from your eyes. “But I love you” you said under your breath as your tears couldn’t stop falling. You ran off the building to nowhere. You spent your time crying while running.

End of Flashback

“..I can’t back to sleep so i get out for jogging” you lied. You couldn’t say the truth. You knew Junhyung well, you didn’t want to ruin the friendship between them so you didn’t say it. You leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m so tired Junhyung-ah” you said as you closed your eyes. Slowly falling asleep on his shoulder.

*You’re a bad liar. You still protect him though he hurt you like this? babo* he mumbled as he looked at you who’s in a deep sleep on his shoulder.

***

You woke up finding you were alone in your bedroom. Junhyung wasn’t there. Stared at the ceiling you remembered what’s going on last night. *It’s a long long night* closing your eyes for a second and took a very deep breathed. You could feel pain through your chest. You felt so tired, your feet felt like a numb, so you just laid there, looking at the ceiling and turned to the the window that still covered by curtain that blocked the sunrise to come in. Just like your heart. No light. You smiled irronically.

Settled your body comfortly on your couch with a glass of milk on your hand, you turn on the television. Little bit hesitant, you weren’t ready to see the news about them spreading all over Korea, no, not only Korea, all over the world might be, but you had to face it soon or later. You dialed the power button, voila! You  were right, the local tv was airing his confession last night.

You couldn’t take your eyes off you, it hurts but you didn’t know why you kept staring at it. *He’s not lying* tear rolled down on your right cheek.

“Turn it off! Don’t see it if you didn’t want to see it.” a voice behind you said. You wiped your tears quickly.

“How...how you get here?” You asked to the owner of the voice who have settled her beside you on the couch. She rolled her eyes.

“Junhyung? Ahh...” you nodded your head. You should know that, who else it would be if it’s not him.

“I tried to call you last night but you didn’t pick your phone. Thank God he called me. He has schedule this morning but he didn’t want to leave you alone and...”

“Milk?’ you said, cut her. You didn’t want to hear how worried Junhyung from her anymore. You couldn’t help but feel more guilty. More they care, more you felt guilty because being burden for them. Beside, you didn’t want anybody feel pity for you.

She shook her head and stared at you with a symphatic smile. You nodded your head and drank your milk in one shot to avoid her gaze.

“Want me to hug you?” the owner of the voice ordered. You smiled weakly and shook your head.

“No. Don’t. I’ll cry again if you do. My eyes have swollen like frog’s.” She chuckled at your words. “You don’t need to come, actually, i’m okay”. She looked away, she knew it for sure that you’re not. Both of you just sat there quietly.

“I’ve heard that” she said after a while. You knew what she was talking about.

You chuckled bitterly. “when i woke up, i thought it was just a dream till i turn on the television hahaha” she hold your hands.“Do you know Ji Eun-ah? It’s funny, the same thing happened to me twice.” You chuckled again then silent. “May be i am cursed” You said. Your eyes started to fill with tears. “I should watch someone that i love with someone else, again.” Tears rolled down on your cheek, you wiped it quickly.

“___-ah” she called your name as she wrapped her arms around you.

You shook your head as you wiped your tears quickly with your hands and hissed her arms gently. “Ani, i’m fine” you gave her a weak smile.

“Do you know? Sometimes, i just think that i’m not deserved to love and to be loved. Everything comes to an end when I just started it” you smiled again, but the more you smile, more tears falling from your eyes.

“God must love you much. He might be jealous if you love someone else.” She said nonsense to entertain you. She did, she made you chuckled.

“Whoa, God is such a protective” you laughed and cried at the same time.

“Listen ____-ah, love will find it’s way” she smiled at you.