“Me...and Hara are dating”

His words kept repeating in your mind. You couldn’t feel your heart anymore. It’s broke, again, for the nth times.

“whoaaaa! Congratulations, Hyung!” Gikwang’s voice made you came back down to earth. He hug Junhyung. “welcome, hara-ssi” he said as he bow to Hara.

“Congrats, Hyung!” dongwoon hug him after Gikwang.

“Congratulations, two of you.”Hyunseung said, Yoseob just nodded and Doojoon keep staring at you. Your turn, your turn to congratule them.  “Whaa, congratulations! Hara, if he do something annoying just punch him!” you said fake a smile.

“Yah! You! You should be on my side!”

“Who said? If you hurt her, i’ll kick you.” you smile as naturally as you can. Deep inside, your heart begged you to call an ambulance. It’s needed help.  It’s bleeding. Hara chuckled looking at the two of you fight like a child.

“Doojoon oppa, you don’t say something to us?” hara asked him. Made Doojoon came back to the reality. It hurts him seeing you force a smile when your heart breaking.

“Congratulations” Doojoon said, forced a smile. “Longlast” he continued.

Everybody continued the games as they joked and teased the new couple. You try your best to get along and smiling. You feel a hand hold yours tight, Yoseob’s. He just staring at you as, but you could tell what he’s eyes said. You gave him a smile. Telling him that you’re fine with your eyes. You knew this time will come, but you never guessed it’s came so fast.  

Someone in front of you couldn’t help it anymore. Seeing you in that state. “____-ah, come help me buy some cokes, will you?.” He suddenly said. No, it’s not a question, it heard like a command. You just nodded at him.

 “Yah! Why ___-ah? I could accompany you too, Hyung!” Gikwang .

“Leave them, Gikwang.” Hyunseung said as he took a sip of his drink.

***

You followed him. Suddenly he turned back to you. Staring at you with a confused and worried look in his eye. You know what he wanted to say. “I’m fine, Doojoon-ah” you assured him a slight smile. He stan still in his place, still stared at you. “You knew it, hmm?” you asked. He nodded, ”Hara told me this morning” he finally said, “I’m sorry ____-ah” he continued, his eyes turned to look at the ground. You chuckled a little,”Why you sorry? It’s not your fault. I knew it will be happened” you said, “but I never guessed that time would be today” you said in a low voice but Doojoon still could hear you. “Thank you, Doojoon-ah” you patted his back. He gave you a questioning look. “For saving me, always save me” you said as you linger your arm to his shoulder – in a friendly way. fake a wide smile. You didn’t want to make him more worried. You didn’t want to burden him. “Come, I’m thirsty.”

*You’re not good at acting ___-ah* He said to himself. But he decide to get along with your act, didn’t want to make you more sad.

Both of you came out of the store near of Junhyung’s place. Both of you brought a lot of stuff in your hands. You and Doojoon walked pass some boys that in front of the store, they’re laughing and whispered something you-don’t-know, you don’t even want to know. But you could tell Doojoon made an annoyed face at them. Without no words you walked behind him. Suddenly he stopped and turn to you, so you bumped at him. He’s feeling annoyed, his face told you.

“What’s wrong, Doojoon-ah?” you gave him questioning look. He didn’t answer but put the stuff down and took his jacket off and tied it at your waist.

“Don’t wear that short short anymore. I hate it when they’re staring at you” he glared at the boys who have annoyed face now. You speechless at what he did, shocked. He continued his walks, and you can feel your cheeks is burning red now.

***

The game has over. Junhyung walked to the balcony to get some fresh air, left Hara with the rest of the member, so they could be closer. A cokes in his hand, he took a gulp of it as he saw a boy and a girl figure in front of the store near his place. Their hands is full of stuff. Suddenly the boy put his stuff down beside his feet and took off his jacket and tied it on her waist. The boy continued to walk, but the girl stand there dumbfounded. He could tell that she’s blushing.

*I know he’s the best for you ___-ah* he sigh, mumbled to his self. There’s something weird in his heart. He should be happy because he have his ideal girl to be his girlfriend and his bestfriend finally foun d a good man, but empty is all he could feel. He closed his eyes, trying to search that happy feeling in his heart. He didn’t find it. Closing his eyes is all that he wanted to do right now, without him knowing he didn’t want to see you smile in the other man’s side. He wanted to be the one who make you laugh, but he denied it. A bestfriend of course love his bestfriend, but in an friendly way, that’s what he said to himself everytime he thought of you.

***

You and Doojoon came back to Junhyung’s place with hands full of stuff, snacks and drinks. The people in that room opened their eyes wide, surprised saw you and Doojoon.

“Hyung, did you do a gentleman’s dignity scene to ____-ah?” Yoseob asked with his mouth opened. You didn’t know what they’re talking about, until you realize Doojoon’s jacket that hug your waist. You blushed, immadiately. Doojoon gave you a questioning look, didn’t know why you’re blushing.

“Whooa! ___-ah is blushing. So you two official now?” Gikwang asked. You blush more, trying to give a sign to Doojoon who still didn’t know what’s going on. “Jacket” you whispered gave him a hint. After knowing what the members talking about, he blushed.

“Whaaa…Doojoon oppa is so romantic” Hara commented, she giggles. "Right, Oppa?" she asked Junhyung, but he just nodded not even looking at you and Doojoon.

***

The party has over but you and beast member still stayed in Junhyung’s place. Hara excuse herself.

“Don’t go, I’ll take you home!” Junhyung commanded as hewalk Hara down the apartment to get her manager pick her up. Now you’re pretty sure where you are in his heart. You sigh as you sat in the balcony, hoping your lungs could het some air so your organs can go on. You drank your orange juice as you watched her bid a romantic goodbye to him. She peck his lips and ended gave him a deep kiss before she get in the car. You hold your breath.

*you have to get used to it, ___-ah* you said to your self.

After a while, someone comes and sat beside you. “What are you doing here?” He said.

“Some fresh air” you took a gulped.

“What do you think? What do you say?” he asked curiously. “hmm?” you give him a qustioning look.

“I’m not a single man no more.” he said, smiling.

“Ahaha, congratulation then, hope you two will be happy” you said let out an akward smile and hug your bestfriend. You try your best to hold your tears.

“thank you” he tightened his hug. “Are you crying?” he asked as he realize something wet in his shirt.

“This is called tears of happines, pabo! Finally you found her” you gave him your best smile. He smiled back at you.

“Finally found a girl who want to be with old grumpy man like you” you try to laugh, but more you try to laugh, the more it hurts.

“Yah!” he poke your head before he wiped your tears with his thumb. But your tears come more when he wiped it.

“Yah! Don’t do that, I’ll cry more!” you said but heprecisely did that even more.

“Why? Am I the first man who wipe your tears?” he chuckled. You glared at him. he chuckled even more.

*Doojoon’s the first* you thought to yourself.

***

Junhyung walked you home. Actually, you don’t want him to walk you home, it’s only made your more feeling pain. He talked about Hara all along the way to your home and hope you and Hara could be a bestfriend too. But he insisted, you let him walk you hame in the name of your friendship. You couldn’t be selfish. It’s not his fault. He’s in love, so what you can do?

“Here we are,” he said as you arrived in your home. You nodded.

 “Go, sleep.” He commanded. You nodded.

“I’ll go, okay.” You nodded. You could tell that he don’t want to leave. So do you, you don’t want him to leave too, but you can’t let him stay.

“Don’t staying up late.” He warned you.

 “Aish, Just, go!” you glared at him.

“You should have a date, ____-ah, so you could be sweet” he teased you. You smile bitterly.

*How could you asked me to date someone else,if you are the one i wanted to date? Yong Pabo!*

“Okay, Okay, I’ll date G-dragon-ssi”  he laugh at you. “Go, now, go!” you said as you push him away.

“Yah! How could you do that to me?” he yelled at you. You gave him a glare as he staring at you. He suddenly grab your temple and kiss your forehead quickly “Goodnight ___-ah” he turned his back and go. Tears rolling down on your cheeks as you watched his back become smaller and smaller and he’s gone. You couldn’t feel your feet, you sat in front of your door. You hold your knees to your chest and put your head on your knees. You let the tears rolling down. Someone sat beside you. You hold your head up. He wiped the tears for you. You let out a chuckled.

“I’am a bad liar, aint i?” he nodded. “You are.”