You mean a lot more to me!
You're being watched~~~~Previously~~~~
''How dare you make our leader cry like that!'' Krystal nagged.
''If we do that to one of your boys then how would you feel!?'' Sulli agreed.
''Go apologise!'' Luna crossed her arms.
''You made her cry so now you will go and get her back!'' Amber pushed Onew.
''Hey!?'' Onew exclaimed.
''The girls are right leader!'' The boys all agreed.
''Fine!'' Onew walked inside Victoria's bedroom and closed the door.
Onew was sweating a lot as he tried to go close to the girl that was crying her heart out.The room was dark with no lights and the curtains were all covering the window,making sure that not even a single ray of light entered the room.Onew bit his bottom lip as he thought maybe did he speak too much? He heard her sobbing and with pain as she hid her face with a pillow while her body was flat on the bed.Onew cursed himself since he hurted her yet he knew he wasn't wrong since it was time for him to know.He wants to solve that problem of hers and help her.
''Victoria?'' Onew called out,causing Victoria to stop whimpering immediately.
''Go away!'' Victoria demanded angrily however didn't face Onew.
''Vic listen to me!'' Onew tried to pull Victoria up.
''Get OUT!'' Victoria slapped Onew's hand away from her.
''Song Qian!'' Onew groaned.
''I SAID GET OUT!'' Victoria pushed Onew as hard as she could,making him to slam his body against the door and fall down on the ground.
''Victoria?'' Onew just looked at her bloodshot red eyes staring back at him.
''Just go away.'' Victoria got back to pushing her face onto the pillow.
''Vic at least listen to what I have to say!'' Onew tried to pull her again.
''WHY? WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?! WASN'T ALL THAT ENOUGH OR IS THERE MORE?!'' Victoria angrily yelled as she grabbed Onew's shirt.
''VICTORIA LISTEN TO ME!'' Onew demanded.
''DON'T DO THIS TO ME!'' Victoria angrily shouted and pushed him away from her. ''Don't...just please don't!''
''Victoria--'' Onew was interrupted.
''GET OUT FROM HERE NOW!'' Victoria demanded again.
''I'm not leaving!'' Onew replied.
''ONEW I SAID LEAVE!'' Victoria tried to push Onew but Onew stood still. ''ONEW!''
''No Victoria!'' Onew stopped Victoria.
''ONEW WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!'' Victoria was so angry that she immediately did what she didn't wanted to.
Onew stood frozen still while his hand was on his red cheek.His eyes were wide open while his mouth was in a small ''O'' shape.He cleared his throat then looked back at Victoria,who was staring at him with her furious red eyes.
''Did you just....'' Onew blinked his eyes.
''I told you to leave didn't I?'' Victoria told. ''GET OUT!''
This was the first time Onew had ever gotten a slap from anyone before.Onew was definitely offended and irritated with this behaviour of Victoria's however he decided it was best to just let it go since Victoria was so angry that she wasn't even thinking straight.
''You bloody well deserved it!'' Victoria glared at Onew.
''Vic....'' Onew sighed as he held her hand.
''Why are you doing this to me?! Why? Why?'' Victoria cried. ''Was reminding me about the past not enough? Was reminding me about the hurt and the pain I went through not enough? Do you like seeing me go through difficulty? Do you want to see me get hurt like this?''
''Victoria you're misunderstanding me!'' Onew sighed.
''Then why are you doing this to me?!'' Victoria questioned. ''Who do you think you are?! How dare you do this to me?!''
''Who do you think I am?! Who do you think I am?!'' Onew repeated that question as he grabbed Victoria and pulled her closer to him. ''Did you honestly just ask me that question?''
''You're no one!'' Victoria pushed him.
''I'M A LOT MORE THAN NO ONE!'' Onew pulled her back. ''I've been the one dealing with your hurt and pain ever since the start! I've been the one giving you a shoulder to cry! I've been the one supporting you and calming you down! I've been the one trying to help you and always make sure that there is a smile on your face so DON'T FREAKIN' ASK ME WHO DO YOU THINK I AM!''
''I've already had people doing that to me so you're no different!'' Victoria hissed.
''What? WHAT?!'' Onew was so angry. ''I can't even believe you right now! I can't believe how selfish,egotistical and conceited you are! Sometimes I don't even know why I even bother even trying to think of ways to make you happy! You clearly don't deserve it!''
''Just get out of here!'' Victoria scowled.
''Victoria get back right here!'' Onew angrily grabbed her wrist.
''Don't touch me!'' Victoria jerked her wrist back and away from Onew when he reached out to grab it. ''Don't try to help me! You don't even need to know what happened! Whatever happened,already happened so leave it out! Besides it happened to me so what's it to you? Nothing ever happened to you so why do you even want to know? What will you do when you know about this?! Tell me!''
''I'll help you! Of course it matters to me because I care about you like I care about the others in the house!'' Onew spoke back.
''Don't do this to me Onew! I don't want to go through all that again.'' Victoria looked to her side.
''But Victoria...'' Onew sighed as he grabbed her and hugged her,making Victoria to burst out crying. ''I know you want to share this with someone so if I'm ready to be that someone then why can't you share it with me? Please Victoria tell me what's going on in your mind.''
''I j-......'' Victoria couldn't stop crying.
''At least give me a chance Vic!'' Onew pleaded as he hugged her tightly. ''Trust me and I promise that I will never betray your trust!''
''His name is Calvin.'' Victoria's eyes got more watery. ''He was 13 while I was 11 when we started to date.Everything was perfectly fine and I was so happy with him.He made me happy and I was so in love with him,it even got to the point where I decided that I wouldn't even marry anyone else other than him.He always did something that would make me smile and I was grateful that he came into my life but then....''
''Then?'' Onew asked as he her hair.
''We were playing that disgusting game hide and seek in the park during that evil day.'' Victoria wiped her tears as she hugged Onew as tight as she could. ''He and I decided that the winner would get something from the loser so I decided to hide first since I'm good at hiding.''
''Then what happen?'' Onew asked.
''I was trying to hide my laughter while he was calling out for my name then the next thing I heard was him screaming.''' Victoria sobbed more. ''The next thing I saw was his dead body lying down on the road with blood all over him.I just sat down next to him since I just..I was so shocked with this.The next day he died.The doctors couldn't save him!''
''Victoria.'' Onew sighed as he heard her cry harder.
''It is so unfair! Why did this have to happen to me?! Did I deserve this?'' Victoria banged her fists on Onew's chest. ''Maybe everyone was right...Maybe I am that unlucky or even cursed!''
''Nonsense!'' Onew snapped immediately. ''You're an amazing girl and you shouldn't even think of anything lower than that about yourself!"
''O-Onew?'' Victoria took her head away from Onew's chest and stared at his eyes.
''You're so beautiful both inside and outside so you should be proud of yourself!'' Onew eye-smiled at Victoria as he patted her head. ''I bet Calvin was a extremely lucky guy!''
''N-No No he was not!'' Victoria shook her head as she cried and sobbed harder. ''I made him leave me! Because of my stupidity and immaturity of winning that damn hide and seek game,he passed away! I hate myself for being the reason of his death! Maybe this is what I deserve,to be alone forever without Calvin with my side! He already left me 7 years ago so now I guess I am used to this loneliness I feel inside of me.''
''Victoria you're being unfair with yourself!'' Onew told.
''No I am NOT!'' Victoria disagreed. ''It was so hard for me to even be happy without him by my side! I came to Korea to forget about him and to live a good life but I guess I can't even do that now! Just everywhere I go,I always have this guilt and remorse that I was the reason he died like that! Ever since that painful day, I couldn't even eat,drink,sleep or even smile for a long time,I didn't even get out of my bedroom! I just stayed in my dark room.I felt comfortable to only be there because it resembled the darkness in my life after Calvin died! God knows how I even managed to finally make myself to get out of my bedroom after tsk God knows how many days,weeks,months or even years later!''
''Victoria I understand and know what you are feeling--'' Onew was interrupted.
''NO YOU DON'T!'' Victoria yelled. ''And I don't even know why you want to help me get rid of this blame I have placed on myself!? Why are you doing this? Why are you even trying to help me?! I don't want your help! You don't even know me that well to even help me in the biggest thing of my life! I don't even know why I told you everything but I guess it's too late now so please do me a favour and don't help me! Don't even try to help me because I know you wouldn't succeed no matter what you do!''
''Don't say that Victoria!'' Onew sighed.
''Why?! Why shouldn't I say that?! I am right! I know I am!'' Victoria argued. ''Give me one good reason why I should even think of letting you help me?! You don't even realise the pain,the difficulties and the hardships I faced during those dark years! It's been 7 years since Calvin died yet everyday I still think of him and blame myself responsible for his death! I ruined everything I had! I'm the only reason why everything that was so good and so right just disappeared!''
''Don't be so hard on yourself!'' Onew hissed.
''Why shouldn't I be hard on myself Onew?!'' Victoria glared. ''I know I am the only reason why he died! I told you everything you wanted to know so now please leave! You finally know what you want to know so now you can leave!''
''I didn't do all this just to know what had happened to you!'' Onew told. ''I did all this because I want to help you! I want to see that happy Song Qian you have killed 7 years ago!''
''Well she isn't coming back ever again so don't even bother!'' Victoria wiped her tears.
''I'm not taking NO for an answer so I'm doing whatever I can to help you!'' Onew turned Victoria around so they could face each other.
''Onew don't even try! I said I don't want your help so don't bother!'' Victoria hissed.
''Tell me why I shouldn't help you?!'' Onew questioned.
''Well tell me why should you even help me?!'' Victoria questioned back. ''YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME THAT WELL OTHER THAN EVER SINCE WE MET EACH OTHER IN THIS HOUSE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN SPOKEN TO EACH OTHER BEFORE EVEN THOUGH WE WERE AT THE SAME COLLEGE FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS.I HAVEN'T EVEN LET MY OWN GOD DAMN FRIENDS TO KNOW ABOUT MY PAST AND I HAVEN'T EVEN LET THEM HELP ME IN ANY PROBLEMS I HAVE FACED SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL LET YOU?!''
''HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!'' Onew yelled back. ''YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU KILLED HIM YOURSELF! HE DIED BECAUSE OF MANY ASSUMED REASONS AND ONE OF THEM COULD BE THAT HE WAS CARELESS!''
''DON'T TRY TO MAKE THINGS LOOK BETTER!'' Victoria was extremely angry. ''DON'T HELP ME AT ALL! DON'T HELP ME YOU GOT THIS! I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKIN' HELP! AM I ANYTHING TO YOU THAT YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD HELP ME?! WHO AM I TO YOU THAT YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BE HELPING ME?! I AM NO ONE TO YOU!''
''YOU ARE WRONG! YOU MEAN A LOT MORE TO ME THAN NO ONE!'' Onew was extremely pissed off.
''WHAT? I MEAN AS MUCH AS THE OTHERS OUT THERE RIGHT? THAT'S NOTHING!'' Victoria hissed. ''WE ARE ALL JUST FRIENDS! NO WE'RE NOT EVEN EXACTLY CLOSE TO THAT SO WE'RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS! WE ARE ALL MORE LIKE PEOPLE JUST FORCED TO COMMUNICATE THEN ONCE WE GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE,WHAT HAPPENS? WE ALL GO OUR OWN WAYS AND NEVER MET AGAIN!''
''YOU MEAN A LOT MORE TO ME THAN THE OTHERS OUT THERE! YOU WANNA KNOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME?! YOU WANNA KNOW?!'' Onew shouted.
Onew pulled Victoria and slammed his lips on hers,making Victoria surprised as her eyes went wide open.She tried to push Onew away but Onew grabbed her two arms and placed it behind her back then pushed her against the wall as he continued to kiss her.Victoria couldn't really tell what was happening but she found herself kissing Onew back.All the anger the two had inside of them just suddenly dissappeared as they kissed more passionately and they both felt something inside of them,a little spark that kept growing.
''THERE!'' Onew yelled after he pushed Victoria. ''You mean that to me!''
''W-What w-was that?'' Victoria asked.
''I..'' Onew sighed. ''You still love that Calvin guy right?''
''Yeah.'' Victoria nodded her head.
''!'' Onew sighed as he ruffled his hair in frustration.
''What did that supposed to mean?'' Victoria asked.
''What?'' Onew asked back.
''Am I not supposed to still love him?'' Victoria crossed her arms.
''Victoria he's not coming back though.'' Onew sighed as he held her hands. ''Sadly he has passed away.He isn't going to be with you.It's not fair that you have been harsh with yourself in the past 7 years and the fact that you still want to continue this mad path of being alone forever isn't going to work!''
''Yes it is!'' Victoria argued. ''I have been doing it for the past 7 years so this year isn't any different!''
''Yes it is!'' Onew replied. ''Please let me help you Victoria!''
''What are you even going to do?!'' Victoria was skeptical.
''At least let me be Calvin!'' Onew pleaded.
''B-Be C-Calvin?'' Victoria was surprised.
''You said you can't live without him so let me be him! I want to be him!'' Onew told.
''What? Why?!'' Victoria was just shocked.
''Because I...I...well...I--'' Onew was interrupted.
''What are you trying to say Onew?!'' Victoria questioned. ''Just spit it out!''
''Song Qian Victoria I love you!'' Onew confessed.
''W-What?!'' Victoria was shocked.
''I love you! I don't know how I started loving you or even when but I know that I love you! I care about you so much and I don't want to see you unhappy!'' Onew held her hands tightly.
''You have gone mad! You're crazy and you're lying!'' Victoria took her hands away.
''I'm NOT!'' Onew exclaimed. ''I promise you that I love you Victoria! This is why I desperately want to help you because I want to be there for you and help you in everyway I can! So the fact that you can't live or even forget about Calvin makes me want to be him! I want to be who-ever you love! I'm willing to be a dead man for you!''
''O-Onew you are just so unreal!'' Victoria was speechless.
''Let me take care of you! Let me love you! Let me be there for you! Let me help you!'' Onew begged as he pulled Victoria closer to him. ''If you can't forget him then I will not be angry with that! I will adapt to that!''
''Onew don't do this.'' Victoria looked away.
''Please Victoria give me a chance!'' Onew begged again. ''Let me be Calvin's substitute! Let me be Calvin's replacement!''
''Onew you don't know what you are even saying.'' Victoria replied.
''Yes I do! I know what I'm saying and I'm serious!'' Onew told. ''I love you that much to be his substitude so let me be his substitude for as long as you want me to be!''
''Onew.....'' Victoria was quiet.
''Don't say no Vic!'' Onew pleaded. ''At least give me a chance.Have a little faith and trust in me! Don't you want to recalll and go back to those loving days of you and Calvin?''
''But what I am doing to you isn't fair!'' Victoria sighed.
Victoria couldn't believe what Onew was even requesting from her.She didn't know what to even answer to him.Was Onew even able to take Calvin's place? She just stared at the guy with a unbelieve look on her face.What was Onew even made of? How can he even ask the girl he loves to be someone else? Wouldn't this all hurt him? The fact that he is being stubborn to this was so shocking! Victoria was also shocked to know that Onew even loves her! Victoria's tears rolled down her cheeks like a rainfall yet Victoria didn't even bother wiping them off. The person she dedicated her life and was her world was her boyfriend,a dead man but now Onew was asking her to be the alive version of her world! Could Victoria accept this?
''What are you trying to do Onew?'' Victoria questioned.
''Vic just trust me on this!'' Onew placed his arms around her back. ''Have faith in what I am about to do.This will be a win-win situation for both of us! You get to relive the moments you had with Calvin while I get to spend time with the one I love,you!''
''I...d-don't know what to say.'' Victoria bit her bottom lip.
''Don't think too much!'' Onew replied. ''Just trust me on this!''
Victoria just looked at Onew,who was smiling at her as he held her hand.Onew felt hurt that the one he loves is already in love with someone else yet he decided it was best not to give up! He is going to fight for her and try his best to make her his! Maybe by doing this,Victoria can get used to it and maybe replicate his feelings yet there was a chance that maybe this wasn't going to work,Well if it didn't then at least he tried! Onew would rather try and fail than not try at all and live in what if's!
''Okay it's decided that we are going to do this then!'' Onew smiled and quickly walked out of Victoria's room while pulling Victoria before she could speak back or disagree.
''Guys?'' The others looked at their two leaders walking out of the room,holding hands.
This was shocking to the others because they were arguing and fighting but now they come out..holding hands,which was odd as they had a tense and heated up argument.
''Is everything alright now?'' Amber questioned.
''You guys sure stayed in there for a long time.'' Key pointed out.
''You two were screaming and yelling at each other.'' Luna was surprised.
''What happen to you two leaders?'' Jonghyun asked.
''You two don't normally argue like this!'' Sulli added.
''It's the first time we have seen you two scream and yell at each other so angrily!'' Taemin informed.
''I hope the problem you guys had is now solved!'' Krystal spoke.
''Everyone is happy now right?'' Minho asked.
''Guys we have something to say to you all.'' Onew cleared his throat as he walked towards the others as he held Victoria's hand tighter.
The others saw the messy state of Victoria and how her eyes were red and sore from all the crying.
''We're dating now!'' Onew announced.
''WHAT?!'' The others all screamed in shock. ''REALLY?!''
''Meet Victoria,my girlfriend!'' Onew wrapped his arm around Victoria's shoulder and pulled her closer.
''Wow!'' The girls clapped their hands as they got excited. ''Victoria we can't believe it!!!! This is so exciting!''
''Congrats leaders!'' The boys clapped their hands as they smiled.
''Our leader couple is together!'' Krystal cheered.
''This calls for a celebration!'' Amber jumped up and down.
''I'll make cake!'' Luna volunteered.
''I'll help!'' Jonghyun volunteered as well.
''No you'll not! You're not ruining this for our leaders!'' Luna hissed.
''I won't!'' Jonghyun whined.
''Shut it!'' Luna warned.
''This is so unexpected!'' Key was surprised.
''Considering how much you two hated and argued with each other during our first months in this house.'' Taemin agreed.
''How did this happen?!'' Sulli asked.
All the 8 pair of eyes stared at the two leaders as they kept quiet and wanted to know what was going on inside between them.
''Well I confessed to Victoria that I love her and she confessed that she loved me as well.'' Onew lied as he eye-smiled at Victoria,who was just staring at Onew's face.
''Wow!!!!!'' The others cheered. ''Hooray for the leader couple!''
''We have 1 couple in the house now!'' Minho laughed.
''I wonder who's going to be next!'' Onew chuckled as they looked at the 8.
''Maybe Luna and Jonghyun!'' Krystal pointed at the two as she laughed.
''Why not eh?'' Jonghyun laughed as he stood next to Luna.
''NO!'' Luna was blushing as she exclaimed and she pushed Jonghyun away. ''Maybe it's Amber and Key!''
''How?!'' Key scratched his head.
''SHUT UP!'' Amber yelled as she got embarrassed. ''I know it's going to be Sulli and Taemin!''
''Is it now? I didn't know this was happening this fast Sulli!'' Taemin teased Sulli.
''WHAT?!'' Sulli blinked her eyes. ''It's clearly Minho and Krystal!''
''I don't see that ever happening!'' Krystal replied.
''I couldn't agree anymore!'' Minho nodded his head.
''We'll see who it is soon!'' Onew laughed.
Author-Nim=Thank you all very much for reading chapter 42! Thank you very much for all the people who commented and I hope you have all enjoyed this chapter!
Anyone has any request then please do tell me as I will fulfill your request! Request to me as many as moments as you would like and I will try my best to add them all in the chapters :D
The reason why my updates aren't regular at the moment is that I am studying for exams and my time is also gone a lot because work and dancing & singing training but definitely try to update once in a while!
Thanks to all these people subscribed to the story!
I would also like to thank these amazing people who upvoted this story
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