Planet Earth

For nicolebb

Pairing: 2woo

Prompt:  'Your greasiness will be my death one day!"

So before you read this story, to my secret santa: I've literally gone crazy trying to figure out the perfect way to make this fanfic with "your greasiness will be my death one day!". There were a lot of different routes I was considering for this story: comedy, angst, drama, y times, fantasy. I have never written a 2woo fic and I wanted to do all the justice it could have, and I was at a terrible writers block. UNTIL I heard this song while watching a show called Degrassi. After I heard it, I was inspired and I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wrote this in two hours, edited over and over for another three to make sure that you got the best Christmas present possible. I really hope that you like this fanfic! The song is included at the end of this fanfic. 

I hope that everyone who reads this, 2woo fan or not, enjoys this story.

With much love <3 Your Secret Santa

The wind that blew that afternoon was the hardest it had been all week. In each gust accumulated the pollen and flower petals that blossomed, swirling and dancing around the lawn of different rocks. The rocks were all of different sizes and shapes, not two of them the same in any way. Different detailing and colors personalized each rock to something special.

Dongwoo sat in front of one these rocks, hugging his knees to warm himself from the uncharacteristic spring weather. Maybe it was the fact that a sudden storm had passed through, and now there was an aftermath of chilly wind to envelope the town. Maybe a hurricane was coming, and the winds from far into the distance of the oceans were so strong that it rocked Seoul and its inhabiants.

Or maybe the world was not supposed to be on Dongwoo's side. 

This is stupid. This is so ing stupid.

As the tears fell down his face, Dongwoo hugged himself tighter in hopes that it would somehow wipe away all of the sadness he had. The pain was too much, and he kept thinking to himself why this had to happen.

Sunggyu and Hoya watched from a nearby tree as Dongwoo cried uncontrollably.

Dongwoo cried about a lot of things. Pranks, romantic movies, family, friends, Infinite's first win, Infinite's rise, Infinite's retirement concert, Sunggyu's wedding to Apink's Jung Eunji, this.

"I want to help him out," Hoya muttered. "But I know we can't."

Sunggyu sighed. "We can't help Dongwoo. As terrible as it sounds, we just need to cry our eyes out." They retreated to their car to meet up with the rest of Infinite. In such a morbid way, they understood that this was what Dongwoo needed right now.

Dongwoo choked on his tears, coughing and losing control of his senses. He fell on the lawn, punching the ground like it did something unforgivable. And it might as well have. Dongwoo dug his fingers into the dirt, pulling out some grass and cuddling himself in hopes that some miracle would come down on him and make this pain go away. He hoped that by maybe saying a little prayer, he can reverse time and none of this had to happen.

Why. Someone please tell me why...

Dongwoo continued to cry, his vision blurry from his watery eyes that he lost sight of the stupid rock in front of him.

The rock causing him so much pain.

Engraved.

Nam Woohyun.

February 8, 1991 - December 15, 2022

.-(^)-.

"Stop being an idiot and pass me the eggs Woohyun." Dongwoo took a whiff of the sizzling mix of tomatoes and onions, its deliciousness wafting around the kitchen. He threw his spatula in the pan and turned around to find Woohyun hiding the carton of eggs behind his back. "Now!"

"Not until you give me a kiss babe." Woohyun was a sneaky bastard in that way. He always tormented Dongwoo with an overabundance of cheesy oneliners, idiotic glances, and uncomfortable cuddles. Woohyun loved it. Everyday was an opportunity to give as much love to Dongwoo as possible.

Well, Dongwoo was not in the mood for his . Especially at 7 o' clock in the morning. "Just give me the goddamn eggs, Woohyun!" Oil popped inside the pan, splashing on Dongwoo's back. The splatter was boiling hot, lurching forward and falling perfectly right in front of Woohyun's lips. Dongwoo’s lips pushed him back against the counter with his plump sandwiching the egg carton.

One by one, each egg cracked on the kitchen tiles and splashed all over.

Dongwoo turned off the stove and waved his spatula in front of Woohyun in a threatening manner. "You ruined my breakfast!"

Woohyun slid his hand on his own , the leftover egg yolk slimed up on his palm. He put his hand out as if he was going to shake hands with Dongwoo and smiled. "You can have your eggs with a side of cutie ."

"Are you kidding me?" Dongwoo raised an eyebrow.

"You know. Like, my ..."

"I UNDERSTOOD THE JOKE THE FIRST TIME!"  He pointed his spatula at Woohyun's nose, only millimeters away from the greasy oil touching the tip. "Get me eggs, now!"

"Well, since you kissed me the least I could do is go to the corner market and get some new eggs." Woohyun grinned. His work done. He snatched the spatula away, pulling its head back and slapping Dongwoo's before he threw it back at him.

"Just go get them!" Dongwoo rubbed his hand on his , the oil staining his sweatpants. No words could describe how frustrated Dongwoo was, all over his morning breakfast. "I swear Woohyun. Your greasiness will be the death of me one day!" 

Woohyun was almost out the door of their apartment, belting up his jeans and his sweatshirt halfway on as he hopped out putting on his shoes. "Let me use your car!" he called out.

Dongwoo grabbed his keys on the edge of the kitchen sink and threw them straight at Woohyun. "You get me eggs, and nothing else! Not like last month, when I told you to buy spinach and you bought me 32 bouquets for my 32nd birthday." He took his spatula and pointed it straight at him, preparing to shove it down his throat if he pulled some stupid again like last time.

"Fine, whatever you want babe." Woohyun took the door knob to close behind him. "I'll just get you 33 bouquets of flowers," he winked.

And with that, Woohyun slammed the door behind him.

"That idiot!" Dongwoo shook his head, looking down at the pitiful sauteed vegetables he was preparing to mix with eggs. The floor was still sticky with disgusting egg thanks to Woohyun's . Dongwoo tore off a roll of paper towels to start cleaning up.

Woohyun was a charmer. Dongwoo hated it so much.

You stupid idiot, why do I love you so much?

Woohyun was also a keeper.

.-(^)-.

"Main vocalist of retired band Infinite, Nam Woohyun, was reported to have passed away in a three-way car accident outside of Park's Groceries at approximately 7:42. According to witness reports at the market, Woohyun was buying groceries as well as a whole bag of Christmas decorations. One witness reported that he was bragging about decorating his apartment with Christmas decorations for former Infinite member and boyfriend Jang Dongwoo. He loaded them into his car and pulled out into the parking lot, and as he exited the parking lot a car chase was coming. Woohyun tried to turn his car away, but the suspect's car as well as the police car both crashed into Woohyun's car. All three engulfed in flames, but the suspect and police officer managed to escape. Woohyun was the only casualty.

Today is a sad day for the KPOP world. Nam Woohyun was 31-years-old."

.-(^)-.

Dongwoo woke up gasping for air. He clenched his chest, almost as if his heart was going to jump right out. He tried to calm himself down, rolling out of bed and standing up to pace himself.

It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. It was a nightmare.

Dongwoo got a grip of his breathing. A cold sweat dripped down his forehead. All of the blankets and pillows were kicked off his bed while he fought his dreams. The nightmare was done, and he was finally living in real life. But was the nightmare really over? Dongwoo glanced at his bed. Empty.

Earth is the real nightmare. This is hell.

It was hard to believe that the love of his life was no longer on this planet, somewhere up into the clouds. All because he was buying eggs and Christmas decorations. A day after the funeral, he did not even remember how he got home that night, probably dragged by Hoya or Sungyeol after almost hugging the grass for hours in hopes the heavens would come out and tell him everything was a joke. Well, it was the worst possible joke god could ever play on him. Dongwoo was alone in his apartment, alone on this planet without a person to wake him up in the morning with multiple kisses or tell him how much he meant to him in the most cringeworthy way possible.

He headed downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. The only food that crossed Dongwoo's mind was a glass of milk. After the accident, Dongwoo had not bought eggs since, a reminder of that day. An omelette was his usual breakfast of choice, but the littlest things triggered endless memories with the idiot. The idiot he loved.

Suddenly, Dongwoo smelled something strange walking down to the kitchen. He also heard something unusual, the popping sound of something in the kitchen.

Someone is here... I thought I alarmed the house last night. Then again, Dongwoo did not remember a lot of things last night. Dongwoo bolted downstairs to investigate who was there. He hid a fist behind his back, getting ready to knock someone out if anything. Dongwoo jumped off the stairs, his jaw dropping when he saw what was in front of him.

A figure was tossing cooked onions and tomatoes in the air with the pan with one hand, holding a bowl of beaten eggs in the other hand. He mixed the egg yolk with the vegetables to fry. The figure took a spatula lying on the counter, twirling it between his fingers and scrambling the eggs the way Dongwoo loved. The smell of it all filled up the first floor of their apartment, not a single window open, trapping the delicious smell within its boundaries.  Dongwoo's tongue was salivating, craving for it all to enter his mouth. But he had yet to know who the figure was. 

"Hey babe."

The figure turned around to reveal itself, tossing the eggs in the air for folding. Dongwoo could not believe his eyes.

Woohyun. He was wearing his usual outfit, the same thing he wore the last night he spent on earth with Dongwoo, the same thing he wore in the kitchen when he crushed Dongwoo's eggs. His hair was messy, as if he had just woken up after a usual late night with Dongwoo. Woohyun flashed his signature cheesy grin at Dongwoo, shaking the pan to cook the eggs properly. "Babe, you look really tired. Probably because you've been running through my mind all morning," he chimed nonchalantly.

Dongwoo collapsed in front of the counter, his legs losing sense as he tried to hold himself up. "Woohyun, what are you doing here?" His whole body was shaking, hyperventilating. Woohyun's sudden appearance brought a sensation in every limb of his body. The eeriness was haunting him, teasing his mind and messing with every emotion Dongwoo was suffering in such a mental state. At the same time, there was a comfort in his body that had his heart racing. Woohyun was there. From head to toe to the grease all over him. He had no doubt in his mind that he was in fact Woohyun.

"You know, I was playing chess with my great grandpa last night. I didn't realize how terrible I was at that game. He was winning the whole time, one of the games he played was a six move game." Woohyun poured the eggs onto a plate and tossed the pan into the kitchen sink, grabbing a bottle of ketchup to sauce the omelette. "Anyways how are you doing this morning, babe? I made you your favorite."

Woohyun slid the plate of eggs across the counter with force, stopping right in front of Dongwoo's arms. Dongwoo was still leaning against the counter, trying to catch his breath to comprehend what the was going on. The wondrous smell of breakfast was sitting right in front of him. Dongwoo looked down at the plate, words scribbled in ketchup:

Woohyun <3 Dongwoo Forever.

"Hello?" Woohyun walked over to Dongwoo.

Dongwoo immediately put his guard up and grabbed the plate to shield him, the eggs slipping on the floor as he shoved the plate towards Woohyun. "Don't come close to me! Tell me who you are right now!"

"What are you talking about?" Woohyun scratched his head. "I'm the same greaseball you love so dearly!"

Dongwoo thought he was going to throw up, inching closer towards Woohyun and stepping in his own breakfast. Woohyun took a step back, almost scared that Dongwoo was treating him this way. "The Woohyun I knew died, and yesterday was his funeral. I don't know what kind of ing joke this is.

Woohyun backed into the kitchen sink as Dongwoo threw the plate at him like a frisbee. It was a flying saucer, one of those UFOs you saw in space. It was going straight towards Woohyun's head.

But it missed. 

The plate went through Woohyun's head and smashed against the kitchen cupboard, breaking into multiple pieces and scattering to the kitchen counter and sink. Woohyun stood there unaffected, not a single piece piercing his body.

Dongwoo stood there flabbergasted, his body shaking once more in fear of what was in front of him. There was no words that could explain why Woohyun was in front of him, what was in front of him, why the plate went through his body. Dongwoo hugged himself, a single tear falling from his face. He stepped forward apprehensively to get to the love of his life, trembling as he extended his hand to touch Woohyun's face. Woohyun's skin was delicate, immaculate, soft and kissable in every possible way. When Woohyun cuddled him, Dongwoo took pleasure in Woohyun's face brushing against his head. Dongwoo wanted to know if it was the same face he slept with every night, but as his fingers reached his cheek they fell through.

He could not touch Woohyun, his fingers falling straight through his face. 

Woohyun chuckled nervously. "Babe, if you wanted to play frisbee you should warn me next time."

"Woohyun." Tears welled up in Dongwoo's eyes. "Why I can't touch your face..."

The doorbell rang.

Dongwoo ran towards the door, almost slipping on the floor from the mess he stepped in. He was desperate to figure out what was going on, opening the door to Sungyeol and Sungjong standing in front of him. The two of them stared at Dongwoo and inside of his apartment. "Did all hell break loose?" Sungyeol asked, staring Dongwoo down from head to toe. "You look like ."

Dongwoo was a nervous wreck, having woken up to a mess in his bedroom and the mess in his living room messed with his psyche. He did not say anything.

"Don't be so insensitive," Sungjong whispered in his ear. "Woohyun..."

"Woohyun!" Dongwoo remembered that he was still in the kitchen. His mind was wandering to different places, but now Sungyeol and Sungjong could help him. He turned around to point Woohyun out to Sungyeol and Sungjong.

But he was gone.

"What?" Dongwoo bit his lip. Woohyun disappeared. "Woohyun where did you go..." Tears streamed down Dongwoo's face.

Sungyeol and Sungjong looked at each other, unsure how to comfort their friend about Woohyun's loss. “He’s not ok,” Sungyeol whispered to Sungjong.

Dongwoo knelt on his knees. Woohyun was nowhere to be found.

.-(^)-.

Dongwoo woke up from the same nightmare, his reactions much more controlled than yesterday. Replaying over and over in his mind, piercing his heart like a dagger of betrayal. Dongwoo felt betrayed by Woohyun's death, as if it was a selfish act of the universe. He spent majority of yesterday crying in his bed about the kitchen incident. The depression was turning into chaos, and now Dongwoo was seeing Woohyun everywhere he went as if he was real.

But those eggs yesterday were real. It took a whole hour to scrub the smell off of my feet.

“What is going on,” Dongwoo mumbled.

"You're finally awake!" Dongwoo turned his head to find Woohyun lying in bed next to him. "Took you long enough."

"!" Dongwoo fell off his bed in a panic, landing straight on his back. 

Woohyun crawled over the bed to peer over the edge. "Oh my god, are you ok?"

Dongwoo pushed himself off the floor and backed up into the wall. Woohyun was sleeping in bed shirtless, the blankets hovered over him as if he was a real person. His mind was playing tricks on him, and the delusion was killing him. "What are you doing here, Woohyun?"

"I was a little tired. I visited Saturn last night. It was such a beautiful planet. I need to take you there some time," Woohyun answered casually, his sleepy smile warming Dongwoo's heart.

"No." Dongwoo shook his head in shock. "Why are you in my bed? Why were you making breakfast yesterday? How can you make me breakfast, but my hand goes straight through you?" Dongwoo was scared for his life, extending his hand out one more time to touch Woohyun's face. Once again, his fingers went straight through his head. Dongwoo could wave his whole hand through Woohyun's body without him flinching a single centimeter. 

Yet, the blankets made a mountain with the curves of his body under it. 

What the is going on right now? 

Dongwoo scratched his eyes, hoping to find some sense in everything. He opened his eyes back up, and to his surprise Woohyun was gone once again. His body was in his bed, the bed they shared for years, and even after his death he was there. He disappeared once again. The blankets were flat on the mattress, not a single hump under. 

"No!" He was there. Woohyun, you greasy . You were there!

Dongwoo walked straight to his desk, opening up his laptop to search something up on the internet. He typed his username and password frantically to log on and get to business. "You can touch my things, but I can't touch you. Your great grandfather? Saturn?" Dongwoo typed one word in the Google search bar:

Ghosts.

Dongwoo clicked on the first link that came up.

"Ghost are able to interact with inanimate objects on their own, but often times living beings and objects in possession of one are intangible for ghosts."

He read the whole article, scrolling down till he got to a certain sentence.

"Ghosts will sometimes manifest in the homes of their loved ones, haunted on earth with unfinished business." 

Unfinished business? There was no other good explanation for why Woohyun was still in his apartment. Why are you here? Why are you here? Dongwoo hated the idea of ghosts, the idea that the supernatural can creep into any place of their choosing and do as they please.

But that ghost was Woohyun. His love. His greaseball.

"Oh my god."

Dongwoo shot up from his desk in enlightenment, running out the door of his bedroom and bolting downstairs to grab his jacket and leave.

.-(^)-.

Dongwoo sat on the couch of his living room, his shoes propped up on the coffee table as he stared intently at two grocery bags in front of him.

Both bags were filled to the brim in Christmas decorations. Red, gold, and green garlands spilled out of the bag. A wooden nutcracker was peeking out at the top of the bag, his eyes having a staring contest with Dongwoo. Two Christmas stockings topped one of the bags, as well as an ornamental mistletoe that fell on top of the coffee table as he placed the bags. Christmas decorations.

Woohyun wanted to decorate this apartment before he died. 

Dongwoo yearned for some inner peace after Woohyun's death. His ghost was haunting him and causing him internal pain in such indescribable ways. As much as he loved seeing Woohyun before him once again in his kitchen, in his bed, there was no point in having him here if Dongwoo could not touch him. The feeling of holding Woohyun's face, his fingers weaving through Woohyun's soft hair, his hands falling down Woohyun's sides as Woohyun kissed Dongwoo's neck into euphoria.

If he could not have that, he did not want Woohyun here on earth.

Dongwoo grabbed the end of the green garland and dragged it across the living room and into the kitchen like a snake. With a roll of tape on the kitchen counter, he taped the corners and hung the garland in intervals. He was restless and desperate to complete the last greasy thing Woohyun ever wanted in his life.

"Dongwoo, did you really buy all of these decorations for me?" Dongwoo turned around and saw Woohyun fumbling through the bags of Christmas decorations. He was holding up the nutcracker and moving its mouth up and down with the lever in the back. The ghost was back.

"Are you going to help me?" Dongwoo asked, giving out a faint smile as Woohyun's ghost played with the troll-looking piece of wood.

"You bet!" Woohyun brought the nutcracker and placed it by their stairwell.

They decorated the apartment with much holiday spirit and pained hearts. The different colored garlands surrounded the kitchen counters. Two green stockings hung by the fireplace, both of them with the names Dongwoo and Woohyun respectively in glitter. A statue of Santa Clause and his reindeer stood on the opposite side of the stairs from the nutcracker to balance it out. Lastly, the ornament of mistletoe was hanging right above the kitchen. Dongwoo stood on top of the counter to take care of that, topping off the decorations in their household.

"It looks great," Woohyun grinned, everything perfect. The whole apartment was beautiful, and it only made it better that Dongwoo did it with him. He clasped his hands and raised them against his cheeks, fawning over every little detail. It was everything he imagined.

"It actually does look good, huh?" Dongwoo smiled for the first time in weeks, proud of the work that him and Woohyun accomplished. The apartment had some of the best decorations he had ever seen in his 32 years of living. The last thing Woohyun wanted to do with him.

"Of course, not as good as you."

Dongwoo and Woohyun gazed at each other lovingly. Things had not changed a single bit in the time Woohyun left Dongwoo permanently, and now that he was back the part of himself that died came back to life. Earth was not as bad as he thought it was.

The mistletoe was right above them.

"Woohyun, I love you so much."

"Dongwoo, I love you too. More than anything else in this world. More than this universe, you are more beautiful than anything I've ever seen."

"Shut up you greaseball." Dongwoo leaned in to kiss Woohyun.

But Dongwoo staggered forward and fell through Woohyun, landing face first on the kitchen floor. 

Woohyun backed away and looked at Dongwoo worriedly. "Oh my god babe, are you ok?"

Dongwoo was not ok. Not a single bit. As he lifted himself off the floor, he was already crying. The tears dripped down his chin and onto his shirt, trying to cover his face and hide from Woohyun.

"Dongwoo, please don't cry..." 

"No!" Dongwoo stuck his hand out through Woohyun's chest, stepping away from Woohyun. "This is getting ridiculous Woohyun. You're either here or you aren't. I don't want your ing ghost here anymore!" Dongwoo sobbed hysterically. His mouth was dry, but he mustered the words to get it through Woohyun's ghost how he felt. "Woohyun, you're dead! Aren't you happy that we did this together? I can't have you here on earth anymore. Please do us a favor and just go back to the sky. I don't want you here..." 

Woohyun shook his head, hugging himself and almost crying himself from seeing the love of his life in agony.

"... I can't have you here if I can't touch you, Woohyun. If I can't kiss you, then you can't haunt me like this." The illusion was driving him mad, sprinting towards the door to run away and leave the apartment.

"Dongwoo! Please come back!" Dongwoo left the door open, the chilly breeze coming in and flowing with the decorations. Woohyun ran towards the door to chase after him. "NO, DONGWOO!"

A loud thud sounded on the street, followed by a screeching noise of a car. A piercing cry echoed throughout the neighborhood.

.-(^)-.

"NO!" Dongwoo woke up from his nightmare once again, clutching onto his bedsheets and tearing up once again. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" he screamed, ripping the sheets off and punching his bed. Morning once again, another day of terrible dreams.

"Dongwoo!" Woohyun woke up from his sleep and grabbed onto Dongwoo's shoulders to massage. "Dongwoo, babe! Please!"

"What?" Dongwoo stopped his cries, looking down at his arm and noticing a warm hand gently rubbing his shoulder in circles. His heart started beating slower, taking deep breaths to relax. He knew this touch, and it was a touch that drove his senses wild and enthralled him in a sweet passion. Woohyun was right in bed with him, snuggling his arm and touching him. "Woohyun?"

"You had another nightmare! What happened to the dreams that were about me? Are you thinking about someone else? Are you cheating on me with another guy?" Woohyun asked with a serious face, bringing light to his bad slumber.

His hand. His jokes. His grease. I feel it. I feel it all. "Woohyun, it's really you..." Dongwoo shrugged Woohyun off his arm, covering his gaping mouth with his hand. He was trying to stop himself from crying. Everything was real. The stupid idiot greaseball woke up with him. "Woohyun..."

"You're scaring me, Dongwoo. Why are you acting this way?"

"I..." This was all a dream. The rock. The eggs. His death. The decorations. I don't even remember the last thing that happened to me yesterday. "I had a bad dream last night..." Dongwoo placed his hand on Woohyun's thigh, rubbing it in circles just the way he liked it. "Honestly, nothing matters right now. All I know is that I want to stay in bed with you."

"Of course! We'll leave the bed whenever you want."

Woohyun sat up from his bed and kissed Dongwoo, grasping the back of his neck and pulling on the back of his hair. Dongwoo shifted his body so that he could lie down on their bed, Woohyun climbing on top of him as they twirled their tongues together. The feeling of their bodies pressing against each other was exhilirating, and Dongwoo did not have a single worry in the world except for where he was going to place his hands next. He hugged Woohyun's waist, giving him one lasting kiss before he pulled away.

"Hey, don't tease me like that," Woohyun smiled, kissing his nose. "That's my job." Woohyun went straight to Dongwoo's neck, giving sweet pecks on his collarbone and running his lips against the sensitive bone. 

Dongwoo arched his back in pleasure, his fingers digging into Woohyun's sides craving for more. "Woohyun," he moaned.

Woohyun pulled his lips back, touching Dongwoo's nose with his own.

"What do you want to do later?" Dongwoo asked, his lips and smiling like an idiot around Woohyun.

Woohyun kissed Dongwoo one more time before answering that question. "We can stay in bed for a while, and after we can float away and check out the milky way."