MISHIL’s POV

“What really happen back there when we’re gone?” I heard my mom talked to Yejin. I was only listening to them while my head were resting on my knee. The tears continue to flow while I reminisce the past few days. I was staring on my resignation letter on Kai’s company. So this is good bye? I already made the choice and why do I always think that I’m choosing the wrong thing. It always hurt me badly.

If I choose Kai, no one will understand my feelings. They don’t know what happen to me when I was an angel. They only knew me and Suho’s relationship. I always choose the right thing for everyone’s sake, but I could not choose the right thing for myself. In what seems forever, I get out of my room. The shock faces were obvious and they hurriedly went to me. They saw me in a perfect state. “I need to go at my office.”

“Mishil.” My mom worriedly asked.

“It’’s okay eomma. I need to give this resignation letter to the president. The wedding is just days ahead. I think I need to prepare everything.” I said without biting lip. I called the chauffer and he is already waiting outside. When the car came there, I just stand outside the building and now that I am thinking about this, I can’t help the tears to flow again.

I gave the letter to President Kim and I bet there is also an awkward silence. I don’t know what happen to Kai after all those days. We haven’t see each other. He did not ask more questions. “I hope you became happy working with us. I think your father is really proud of you.” I just smiled in return. I came out in the office and to my surprise I saw him.

Part of me is happy, part of me is sad. I looked away but I still feel his stares at me. I went to my office and gather the things I need to pick up. I was like a crazy person. Everything I pick remind me some memories of him. I tried to supress my cries but I failed. I hurriedly went out and saw Yejin waiting for me. “Mishil.” It made me stop. I hurriedly wipe my tears.

“What are you doing here? How did you--”

“Let’s go.” She said smiling at me. She bring me at the Han river where we usually sit. “Cry.” She said breaking the cold silence. Automatically, a tear escape my eyes.

“I thought I’m already strong.” I said when it completely rolled in my face. “I thought I will be happy…” I paused and let myself to breathe. “But once again, I’m wrong. I tried to choose what’s better. Then I never realized it is already me who’s hurting.” I look beyond the Han river. “I never wanted to hurt him but I always did. It’s not fair but I can’t make it right.” I wonder why this river looks peaceful even how strong the wind is. “No matter what I do, I can’t hide it. I can’t change it.” I let a blow in my mouth. I close my eyes as I felt her stare at me pitying me. More tears flowed and when I open my eyes, I can’t stop to hope that everything would be right. “I love him.”

KAI’s POV

I saw her came out in my dad’s office. Then I met her eyes. I’m not an interpreter but I can read her eyes, her eyes that is longing. She look away and then she headed to her office. I followed her silently. The door of her office is slightly open and I tried to peek in. I expect to see her office a littile bit scattered by her things but what makes breaks my heart, I saw her supporting herself on the table. Her hand is clasped on muffling her cries. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her forehead but everything is over now. I fished my phone in my pocket and dialled her best friends number. “Yejin?”

“Oh Kai why did you call?”

“I think Mishil need you.” Without even asking what happen to her, she already understand what I meant. Not long, I saw Mishil went out and met with Yejin. I still followed them and there I can see her cries. The words that breaks my heart is the last words she said. Mishil I love you too.

“Can we talk?” A hand holds me in my shoulder.

SUHO’s POV

I brought the beer on the rooftop. Lay is staring beyond and when he notice my presence, he hurriedly went to me to help me. “Isn’t this early to drink?”

“Why? Is it indicated when is the right time?” I said when I open the lid and drink on my beer. I just heard him smirk. The beer burns my throat as it went down. The silence drags again.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“You know I do not want this to happen. I lost everything. Didn’t I?” I said when I drink another shot then wiping my lips at the back of my hand. I hand the envelope to Lay. The one I was keeping forever. “If she didn’t understand, I hope you’ll explain it to her well.”

“Are you going to give up?” I smiled sadly to myself. I love her and the reason why I still continue being with my family is because of her.

“The game is already over before it even started.” I said.

I went to Kai’s office but somebody said that he went to somewhere else. They said he followed Mishil and there is only one place I know Mishil would go. Han River. As what I expected, I’m right. I saw Kai looking not far away to them. His eyes is full of longing and I can see Mishil also crying and Yejin is patting her back. I did not wait for another minute. “Can we talk?”

We move to somewhere private but we can still the Han river. “Why did you still love her even if she was an angel?”

“You can’t stop yourself to love someone.” He said. “At first, I get mad when I found out she’s returning in heaven. That is when the time you come back here from China and you gave me the rings. It was her. We promise to each other that she will not get the last feather. But accidentally she got hold of it.”

“You said the time that she was comatose, is the time she was an angel right?” He didn’t answer nor nodded to my question but I take that as yes. “But why did you still wait for her even if you know she’s already gone.”

“Because I knew she will comeback. I don’t want to give up easily and then she remembered everything. Then I realized maybe I became so selfish.” He stop and it also made me think of myself. Have I been selfish to her too? “It’s not only me who is having a hard time. But also her and so when she decided to choose you…” he look at me for a moment and return his gaze at the river, “I can’t stop her and decided to just let her go.” He made another pause before continuing.

“If she’s gone?”

“Then I will look for her.”

“If she has forgotten you?”

“Then I will make her remember.”

“If she flew a thousand times away from you?” I asked using the metaphor.

“Then I’ll follow her a million times towards her.” He said slightly smiling. Then he continue.

“That’s how I love her.” I smiled in return.

“I hope you will still be my best man…”

Days have drag by. And there is only 1 day left. I decided to go to her house. Her parents went me in and then I hurriedly went to her room. I gave a soft knock in her door. When she didn’t answer, I thought she’s already sleeping but when I opened it, I saw her wearing her wedding gown and she’s looking at the mirror. I can see her flawless back and the gown matches her beauty.

Unconsciously, I went towards her and hug her in her back. My chin resting on crooked neck. I never cry in my life but this time, it wants me to tear up. Seeing the love of my life dress in her wedding gown. “I’m such an idiot for leaving you.” I said. A tear slips from my face going to her bare shoulder. I tried to interlace my fingers to her. She look at me in the mirror and so I return it. “Kai’s right. You were a beautiful angel send on Earth. I already made a mistake for leaving you before.”

“Suho o--” She said when she abruptly turn around but I hushed her by putting my thumb on her lips that I will miss. I was an adopted and my father said that I was a disgrace to their family. I don’t have anything to have my father’s pride. The day that he trusted me, I felt really happy but I’m wrong because I realize Mishil is enough to make me happy.

“But I will make another mistake if I still let you do this. I will still do another mistake for making you unhappy once again.” I know she’s confuse and she can’t understand what I am saying. I kiss her forehead for one last time. “Don’t forget that I always love you.”

I dialled the number of the person who knows better. “Tao…” I said when he answered. I tried not stutter while I speak. “I’m ready.”

MISHIL’s POV

The day that everybody has been waiting for came. The car halted in front of the church and I can’t help the tears to flow. I tried to be happy but who am I fooling? They told me to wait in the car because the groom has not yet arrived and so I waited inside. But not long after someone came to me.

“The groom is not coming.” The news shocked me and I bet everyone has. Then I saw Lay coming towards me bringing a brown envelope.

A/N: Anyeong! I’ve been gone for weeks. I’m sorry. I need to stop and focus for my medical exam last week and I really hope I could pass. I tried to update last Tuesday but I became really busy. But here’s the update. I’m also having a hard time to sort everything that will happen. I hope I’m not forgetting to write something I’ve planned before.