MISHIL’s POV

We ate dinner in our usual place and as soon as I saw Suho, guilt washed over me. But he all showed me smile and never confront me about what happened. I tried to distance myself to Kai. After the dinner, I went to the living room in our rest house. I hugged myself with my blanket as I continue to flip the channel. The cold breeze still continue to breeze and I can’t help to sneeze. “In any minute, I’ll catch a cold here.” I told myself

Then someone block the television in front of me and put a hot chocolate at the center table. “For me?” I ask.

“If it’s not for you then I’ll drink it at once just in one go.” He said smiling at me.

“Tha-Thanks Suho oppa.” I said in an awkward tone. Everything seems wrong. We’re not supposed to be like this. We’re supposed to be happy. We’re supposed to be free and not tangled.

“I don’t want us to be really awkward.” He started. “I don’t know what happened really there. I don’t want to conclude anything.” He said when he pretend to look at the television and watched. He get the remote control that I put at the table and change the channel. “I just thought that maybe you are really close since you two are childhood friends before.”

I pretended to watch. He stop the channel at some news. “I-I’m sorry.” I manage to say. I breathe a cold air and the guilt feeling is slowly fading away.

“Don’t be sorry. Maybe some things won’t change after all.” He smiled to himself. The Suho I know before. Then he look at me. “Right?”

I tried to give my best smile. He hold me in my hand and his cold fingertips brushed into mine. I nod myself In approval. Then all of a sudden the living room was filled of noises because of Yejin’s entrance. “Whoo! That was cold. How dare you splashed that sea water to me.” Yejin said to Sehun.

“You did the same to me. So I guess there’s nothing wrong.” Yejin let out her tongue but Sehun just ruffled her hair. I saw Kai entering the place and avoiding look at me too. He went to the kitchen who was followed by Sehun.

“Oooh. You two are here.” She said. She flop herself beside me. “Ooh I also want hot chocolate. Sehun baby I also want hot chocolate. Can you make one for me?” She said referring to my mug. I placed my mug down and tucked myself with blanket. “You look like a caterpillar there.” She said. Then I and Suho smiled.

We were in silent as we watched the news.

“Another car accident happened on the slippery roads to Jeju.” The news stated.

“Aish. There’s nothing new in there. It sometimes happened. Can’t we get some good news?” Yejin said. “Why don’t they report how beautiful the islands there?” Yejin said irritated.

“Because you can google it.” I said rolling my eyes.

She also rolled her eyes in me. “Oh. Why don’t they research that there are mermaids living there?”

“Because the beautiful mermaid is already here.” I said nonchalantly. Then their heads came to look at me. Shoot! That’s lame. I felt myself starting to red. Embarassed mode on.

“Ahaha! JOKE! WHOO!” Yejin laugh. But they are still serious while blinking their eyes to me. Shoot! “Am I not supposed to laugh?”

“I don’t think it’s funny.” Sehun said. “Mishil is really beautiful.”

“Tch. Don’t you know that mermaids are really ugly?” She said crossing her arms to her chest. Jealous maybe. I pressed my hot mug to her face. “Yah!” I laughed.

“Hyung, you’ve been into Jeju before right?.” Sehun said after sipping his chocolate. “I’ve never been there. Do you think it’s really beautiful?”

“O-of course. Everything is really beautiful. Like here.” Then Suho get his own mug and headed to the kitchen too. “I’m going upstairs.” He said and left the three of us in the living room.

I tried to open my book and pretended that I am reading. I saw in my peripheral vision that Kai gets the remote control and flips the channel while Sehun and Yejin are having wrestling there between us. “You monster.” Yejin said while trying to kick Sehun.

“You dimwit.” Sehun fight back. Then they are lauhing. Sehun suddenly stops. Kai and Sehun get their mug at the same time and drink it. Yejin followed. As I was to get my mug, I saw that mine was not there.

“Where’s mine?” I look beside me but it was not there. If it’s there then maybe it would spill.

“Why does it feel that this is not mine?” Sehun said as he look at his hot chocolate. I look at it but it’s a different mug.

“I don’t actually remember you getting some hot chocolate.” Ye jin said as she sipped in her mug.

“Aw. This is Kai hyung’s.” Sehun suddenly made a face. “Ew.” He coughed suddenly. Then it made my heart stop for a moment. If Yejin is holding her own mug and Sehun is holding Kai’s mug, then it means that my mug is in his hands. I slowly look at him and he also stop and look at the mug. When he realized what he got, he suddeny placed it down and I saw his face started to redden. “Oh!” Sehun mouth and covered his mouth.

“That’s why it doesn’t taste good.” Kai said then he coughed.

“Mwo?!” I can’t help to shout matching my widened eyes in his. Then Sehun laugh. I suddenly get my b;anket and passed through them. I stepped on his foot which made Sehun laughed even more. I glared at him and flicked his forehead.

I went to my room and just lay on my bed. I look at the ceiling. I look on my phone at my bedside table and take a look on my photos. My phone was filled with me and Suho’s picture. I don’t remember that I have a picture of Kai together with him before. Maybe the picture we had in this vacation is the first one.

Then suddenly the door open. Yejin enter and sit on her bed beside me. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.” I lied.

“Do you really thing that I was really naïve?” Then I look at her questioningly.

“What do you mean?”

“I am your best friend for years.” She said while dangling her feet. “Do you think I would not notice that you love JOngin?” I sat up straight on my bed. “I’m right. Isn’t it?”

“How can you say that?”

“Do you think I would not notice how happy you are when you are with him rather than to Suho oppa?” I can’t speak for a second. So it’s obvious. “And besides…” She trailed her sentence. “I overheard you and Sehun oppa before. I know you are referring to Jongin that time.”

“It’s hard.” I said when I felt that my tears is threatening to fall again.

“I know.” She said when she sit on my bed too and pat my back. “That is why when I found out that you and Jongin are having vacation here and Suho followed, I can’t help to be here too because I know something might went wrong.”

“Everything is already wrong.” I said when a tear had successfully made their way down on my cheeks. I hurriedly wipe it away.

“Maybe you really need to choose one. If you continue like this, you can’t help that one of them would really get hurt.”

“Then who would I choose?”

KAI’s POV

Even if I try to avoid her in this rest house. I can’t help to follow her wherever she goes and even if it breaks my heart seeing her with him again, I can’t stop them. “hey Jongin.” My mom called me.

“Eomma. Where are you going?” I asked when she and Mishil’s mom wearing their hat.

“We’ll just stroll and buy souveneirs with your father.” She smiled. “Sometimes we need to have some time alone too.” She whispered in my ears. I suddenly have goosebumps.

“Okay have fun.” I said.

“Why don’t you and Mishil also stroll to where you use to play before?” My mom said.

“I don’t remember the place.”

“Your tree house that your father and her father built before. Near the lake side.” She said then they finally bid goodbye. I get my phone in my pocket and I didn’t realize that I also grab Mishil’s necklace. I always keep it wherever I go. I was busily texting Chanyeol when I bump someone and made me drop Mishil’s necklace. It made a clinking sound and I hurriedly get it. When I look in front of me, I saw Suho hyung. I kept it in my ppocket at once but I didn’t know if he notice it or not.

“Oppa.” Yejin called. “Let’s eat now.” I hurriedly went there before he notice something. When we are eating, I just focused on my plate to avoid anything.

“Hey where are we going next? I wished we just accompany auntie there so we can also get souveneirs.”

“I’m going somewhere.” I told them.

“Where? Can’t we go?” Sehun said.

“Um I’m just going near the lake side.” I said. I put my plate on the sink and headed outside.

When I was thre, I can’t help to awe the treehouse. It looks old. I wonder how we manage to play there before and still I can’t remember when we are playing there. I take a look at the necklace and put it back again on my pocket.

Someoen abruptly stop me and as I look at the owner. I saw Suho. I was closing my fist to held on the necklace tightly.

“How did you get that?” Suho said referring to the necklace. “Did she give that to you?”

“She did not give this to me.” It wasn’t a lie. She left it when she was gone.

“Why can’t you stay away from her? What thing do you really have with her?” he get my collar and match his stares at me. “Huh? Why can’t you answer me? How long have you been back stabbing me? Answer me!”

“I LOVE HER!” I shouted. “Hyung I love her!” The clouds started to grey again and I wonder why this always happen even how nice the weather is. Then he suddenly punched me. Just as his fist landed on my face the clouds grumble and the rain pour hardly.

“How dare you?”

“Hyung you don’t know what you are talking about. She loves me.”

“Liar.” He said when threw another punch. I tried to compose myself and return the punch he has given me. The thunder give another roar in the sky. “You cheat! I trusted you when Mishil work in your company.”

“It happened before she even work with us.” I said. I also held his collar as he holds mine.

“What lies are you trying to imply.”

“When you left her…” I started. “She found me. When you left her, I promise to her that even if I am not her first, I will be her last.” He threw another punch but this time I didn’t fight back. I was on the ground coughing. He get my collar and once again he look at me straight in my eyes.

“Why are you making up stories!” he shouted in me. The blood drip on my mouth to where he punch me for the second time. Just as he was to punch me again…

“She’s an angel before.” I said which made him stop. He slowly released me.

“What are you saying?”

“I know. It’s impossible. She’s an angel when I met her.” I cried as I reminisce everything but it’s not obvious because of the rain. “The days when she was comatose, are the days when she is an angel.” He step back a little as he listened and so I continue. “Hyung she is the one I love. The one I gave the rings. The one I showed you before at the event and the one when you thought I was mistaking her for somebody else when you announce your engagement. It’s Mishil. The feather that started it all, she completed it and so she returned to heaven but I don’t know why because I thought she would never come back.” I breathe for a while and then look at him. “She actually did. When she wake up at the hospital, she can’t remember everything about what happened before when we met. She only remembers the time before she got into accident. But not long after because she remembers me. I don’t know how but she did. You told me before that I should let that girl slip away right?”

“Stop.” He said almost a whisper.

“Hyung. I can’t let her get away. I love her!” I said.

“Stop.” This time a little bit louder.

“I promise her.” I said.

“I said stop!” he shouted adding a punch in my face. Once again I landed on the ground.

“SUHO!” Someone shouted and push Suho. When I looked up, I saw Mishil pushing Suho. “Go now oppa.” But Suho is intensely looking at me still. “I said go!” She shouted. He look at her. “I’ll go with you.” She said almost crying. My eyes widened at her words. They stared for a minute before Suho decided to walk away silently. I tired to get up on my position. Just as Mishil walked leaving me, I suddenly pulled her wrist.

“Mishil?”

“Don’t you think we already need to stop?” She said not looking at me. “It will only get worst when we still continue.”

“No. I thought you remember everything. Can’t you remember your promise?” I hold her shoulder as I want her to look at her. She shook her head sideways and look at me.

“We need to stop now.”

“I promise you right that I will be your last love Mishil? Right?” I shook her. “Mishil answer me. Mishil why can’t you say the same? Please say it.”

“No Kai. Everything is wrong. Meeting you is wrong.” She harshly wipe her tears but it still flows maybe because of the rain. “Didn’t you say that I need to tell you if you need to stop?” No. Mishil don’t say this. My heart thuds because I know what she is going to say. “Now stop. Kai stop now.” I tried to touch her cheek.

“I-I can’t.” I said while my heart is sinking in pain. “All this time, I waited for you even how impossible everything is. All this time, I bear all the pain waiting for you to comeback, waiting for you to remember me, waiting for you to make everything right.” I said when I trapped her face in between my hands. “because I love you. Why can’t you love me fair?”

“Kai I did!” She shouted. “It’s hard. Don’t you think that I did not try to be fair and make the right choice? You know I love you!” She cried as she step back from me. “It’s hard to stop myself from thinking of you. It’s hard to pretend that I still love him when I know you are the one I love.” I heard her breathe a mouthful of air as her breathing became ragged because of her cries. “Kai I love you.”

“Why can’t you take me with you? Even if it’s painful, I’m still the one who needs to choose and make you happy.”

“Maybe because we are not really fated together. We are only bonded by our imaginations on what had happened before.” She slowly bring the ring. Her ring.

“Then tell me why?”

“Jongin oppa?” She walk behind him holding her doll. “What are you doing there?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“Why are you sad?”

“You’re leaving right? We can’t see each other now right? Mm. Mimi.”

“Huh?”

“I gave you a nickname. Give me too okay.”

“O-kay.”

“What?” She giggled.

“Kai. Because you always say o-kay. Why do you want nickname anyway?”

“Because I only want me to call you that. Only me.” He said. “You’ll remember me right. When we grow older, you’ll still recognize me okay?”

“O-kay.” He rolled his eyes. “Even if I grow pretty like this doll.”

“You are prettier than that. Promise me someday, we will still be together like this.”

“I promise you, someday we will be able to build our own castle like this.”

“And live always together?”

“Maybe.” They smiled.

“If you walk away from me now, If you have already decided. Okay. I’ll let you go.” She step now and turn her back. But before she take another step away from me. I suddenly back hug her. “Don’t turn back. Don’t look for me.” I said painfully in her ears. “As you make another step, I will take that as if nothing ever happens between us.” I cried. I slowly release my hands on her. We both cried as we both stand in the middle of the rain. Part of me was saying she would not run away from me. That she would not take another step.

“I love you.” We both said on the same time and even how loud the rain and the thunder were, we heard it. Then she made her way away from me. Then I was left standing there. I slumped myself on the ground and cried harder than the rain. Once again, I was left with her ring alone.

MISHIL’S POV

“I’m sorry Kai. I’m sorry. I love you.” I cried walking away from him.

I saw Suho is there outside the rest house. “Your things are already prepared. Get inside the car. We’ll go.” As numb as I am, I went inside the car. I say Yejin and Sehun looking at us. Probably our parents are still on their time alone. The road trip were silent and only my muffled cries can be heard.

“Kai I did!” She shouted. “It’s hard. Don’t you think that I did not try to be fair and make the right choice? You know I love you!” She cried as she step back from me. “It’s hard to stop myself from thinking of you. It’s hard to pretend that I still love him when I know you are the one I love.” I heard her breathe a mouthful of air as her breathing became ragged because of her cries. “Kai I love you.”

“Then tell me why?”

“Because when I wake up or before I wake up, I’m not already yours to lose.”

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