CHO KYUHYUN’S POV

With a fluttering heart, I walked into the room for the first time in almost three weeks now.

The moment I entered, my gaze was fixed on the woman who’s sitting comfortably on the patient bed.

Shin Min Jung.

“Kyuhyun-ssi, you can sit here.” Shin’s eomma said as she tapped on the chair beside the patient bed. “Take your time, I’ll be outside.”

I looked at Shin to see her reaction, but she just sit nicely without saying anything to I walked towards the chair and took a seat.

Both of us were silent for a few seconds, and it was quite awkward because we don’t even look at each other.

Taking a deep breath, I braced myself to greet her first.

“Uhm, hi.” I said.

There’s so many things that I wanted to say, to ask to tell to you. But it just won’t come out easily when I finally get to see you.

“Hey.” She replied.

Why did you avoid me?

Don’t you miss me?

But instead, I asked, “How are you doing, these few weeks?”

“I’m doing well, as you see.” She smiled. “How are you?”

I feel like dying. Because I didn’t get to see you.

“I’m… fine.”

Then there’s minutes of awkward silence again. Since when did we became like this?

“Don’t you want to ask why did I avoid you?” She finally let out a voice.

“There must be a reason why you did that.” I replied. “I’m already seeing you now, and that’s what important.”

Shin flashed a grateful smile, but seems like she couldn’t think of anything to say.

Then I thought of something that could probably make the atmosphere less awkward.

“Anyway, I haven’t seen you out of the room for these weeks. Do you want to take a walk? Let’s go to the park behind the hospital.”  I offered.

Her face turned bright in a second. “Geurae!”

We took a walk at the park, and had some talk while sitting on the bench eating ice-cream cone together.

I noticed she applied some powder on her face to make her look fresher, but she still can’t hide her eyebags and pale face. Her lips was a little bit cracked too.

However, the positive energy and vibe that she gave covered it all.

She is still the Shin Min Jung that I know.

On our way back to the patient room, she had a hard time catching her breath while walking, so I borrowed a wheelchair from the hospital.

Then, she told me she is too bored to goes back to the patient room so we decided to look around at the hospital instead.

We arrived at children’s ward after 5 minutes. There’s a room with piano inside, and I guess it’s some kind of performance room.

There is no one inside so I decided to play the piano for her.

“Play me that ‘Thinking Of You’ song.” Shin requested.

So I did.

The lyrics, the melodies and everything have been finished writing, so this time, I performed her a full song.

I looked at her all the time while performing, and she looked so pleased. I couldn’t be gladder than this and I feel like I could stare at her face the whole day.

After the short performance ended, I heard a few clapping sound from outside, so I turned my head and noticed some nurses and children standing outside the glass door, looking at us.

“You just mesmerized so many people.” She said, giving me a proud smile.

I walked towards her, and then squatted beside her wheelchair. “Really? My intention was only to mesmerized one person.” I looked into her eyes.

For a few seconds, our gazes were fixed on each other.

“What?” She asked. I could see she’s blushing.

I lean over and kiss her. Just once.

“That.” I said.

There’s a few seconds of silent again, but we’re still looking at each other.

“I love you.” I finally confessed.

I said it softly, but the whole room is all quiet, so I am sure she could hear it clearly.

For a moment she looked hesitated, and by her expression I could see a lot of things are currently going through her mind, but I couldn’t figure out what.

“Don’t worry, I don’t demand an answer.” I told her. “It’s just a confession, because I think I’m going crazy if I didn’t tell you this.”

She gave me a thin smile, and when I thought she’s not going to reply anything, she looked at me, and said, “It’s almost dinner time now. Let’s go back.”

 I visit her the next day, and everything went back to normal.

She didn’t avoid me at all, and we talked a lot just like usual.

However, three days later, Dr.Bryan notified Shin’s eomma that a heart donor is ready.

Shin’s eomma agreed for a heart transplantation operation, and Shin is going for the operation the next day.

I went to hospital much earlier today, because her operation will start at 9AM sharp.

Shin’s eomma, Donghae hyung, Yoon Hee-ssi, and I accompanied her as the doctor and nurses are bringing her to the operation room.

Her hands were so cold, and I keep holding them until in front of the door where the nurses asked us to wait.

Shin signaled me to lowered my head, so I did.

“Please pray for me.” She whispered.

I nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “You’ll be okay.”

A nurse came out every two hours to notify us about the current condition of Shin’s operation, and everything goes well.

The operation successfully ended after 7 hours.

A new heart is now beating inside her.

However, Dr.Bryan told us that the next 3 days will be the most critical day for her because during that period, they will keep on monitoring whether the heart will reject its new body. We are only allowed to see her after these 3 days.

As usual, I still go to the hospital everyday to stay near her.

But then, I got schedules on the third day onwards so I couldn’t come.

4 days passed with overseas schedules in between and I only got time to visit her at midnight after I returned to Korea, but by then the visiting hours is over so I still didn’t get to see her.

I couldn’t stop worrying about her, even though I contact Shin’s eomma everyday.

On the 6^th day, my schedule is over at 3PM so I rushed to the hospital directly.

However, Shin is not there, nor her eomma.

Her room is empty.

I asked the nurses, but none of them answered.

I went to see Dr.Bryan, and the only answer he can gave is, “She requested to moved to another hospital, so we transferred her two days ago.”
I asked him where to, I pleaded him, but he refused to answer. He only told me to stay calm because her condition is now stable and she’s doing fine, but how could I keep calm in this situation?

I called Shin’s eomma phone for countless time but it remained unanswered.

Why?

Why?
Why?
There are so many questions in my head. Why did she request to move to another hospital in a sudden?
Is she avoiding me? Again?
But why?

I tried to go to some big hospitals by myself and asked for any patients with “Shin Min Jung” name, but I got nothing.

It’s either Shin is not there or they refused to tell me.

I asked Donghae hyung for so many times but he said he didn’t know either.

I’m going crazy.

I couldn’t find her and don’t even know how is she doing now.

What should I do?

7 YEARS LATER -

September 2020

“Kyuhyun-ah, wake up! We have morning rehearsal today.” I heard an old but new voice calling in my room.

It’s Kibum hyung’s.

Yeah, our Kibum hyung is back.

In 2018, after Ryeowook hyung and I returned from the army in March, members all realized that our contract is going to end the next month.

After a long planning, all of us decided not to prolong our contract so that we could start building our own agency.

SJ Company.

Before our contracts ended, Leeteuk hyung contacted Kibum hyung and members persuaded him to come back and active as Super Junior.

Long story short, everything goes well as plan and we are no longer part of SM Entertainment starting April 2018.

With a lot of help and advices from our entertainment sunbaes who had their own agency, we start building our dream – our own SJ Company in November.

Everything was finished well and SJ Company was officially inaugurated in June 3^rd 2019 – a day after ELF’s 13^th anniversary.

We had our 9^th album come back in December 2019, and that was also Kibum’s first album with Super Junior after 10 years.

10 years, how time flies.

Super Junior is a 15 years old group now.

“Yah! Why are you not getting up?” Kibum hyung shook my shoulders.

“Arasseo~” I answered lazily.

“Go and take a shower, Kangin hyung told me some of the members are having their breakfast already.”

I took my as I yawned and walked towards the bathroom.

“Whoa, whoa. Look at that woman, so y~” Eunhyuk hyung pointed to the woman who’s crossing the road as we are riding in a van that will take us to the stadium for rehearsal.

“No wonder why Minah broke up with you last month.” Shindong hyung replied from the back seat.

“Yah! We are not dating, we are only in ‘some’ relationship, I told you.” Eunhyuk hyung defended himself.

“Ah, molla. There’s no point in talking about relationship with you. I’m going to call my wife first.” Shindong hyung said. “Ah, I miss her already.”

Shindong hyung? Wife?
Yes.

Shindong hyung married Nari-ssi four months ago. The couple decided to get back together last year after their broke up in 2014, and they tied the knot in May this year.

“Aigo, I miss my Minwoo~ Should I call home too?” Sungmin asked, more like asking himself as he took out his phone from his backpack.

Minwoo is Sungmin’s son who’s born in August 2018. He turned two years old last month.

“Wife~ Son~ Keep on bragging, you guys~” Siwon hyung said, trying to sound annoyed, but then he laughed. “Ah, I’m envious.”

“That’s why marry her already.” I butted in. “What are you waiting for? I’ll ask Zhoumi hyung to make a Chinese proposal for you to memorized.” I continued.

“Well, I told you guys I am going to propose her by this year though.” Siwon hyung shrugged off. “Give me some time.”

Chinese?

Yeah, Siwon hyung is dating Liu Wen, his on screen (WGM) partner. Siwon hyung confessed right after the show ended, and they have been dating since then. 5 years.

“How about you, Kyuhyun-ah?” Donghae hyung suddenly asked. Donghae hyung married Yoon Hee-ssi in February 2018, and the couple gave birth to a daughter the next year. Lee Jieun. Jieun is around 1 year old now.

“I don’t remember the last time you dated.” Donghae hyung continued.

I don’t remember either.

The only thing that I know, it’s been a long time since the last I fall in love.

“Still hoping on Min Jung-ssi?” Siwon hyung asked.

I don’t know.

“Truthfully, I don’t know.” I replied. “I just have no interest to date for now.”

Then, to avoid more questions about her, I looked outside of the van’s window and wear my headset. I random song on my phone.

Truth is, it’s still going on my mind, until now.

It’s been 7 years, but I still can’t get her off my mind.

Where is she now?
Is she doing well? Is she healthy? Is she happy? Is she married?

Too many questions unanswered.

I sighed and I closed my eyes, trying to sleep.