“From your expression, I could tell that you recalled it.” Shin’s eomma said.

I nodded as I think, how I could not remember this all along.

Shin is that girl. My first love. I couldn’t help but smile at how I fall for her all over again. Thinking about it, now and then, I have only been in love with one girl.

Shin’s eomma told me the rest of the story that night.

She said that Shin talked about me almost everyday since the day we met. “I think she likes you a lot.” She laughed.

Shin’s eomma also mentioned that I am the only guy that is close to her except Donghae hyung, and ever since I left, Shin has never shown interest to get close to any guys she known.

“It was a hard time for her.” Shin’s eomma said. “Min Jung appa and I divorced when she was 13. Min Jungie is our only daughter and ever since she was a little girl, she has all things provided for her and everything was like, perfect. I know the divorce impacts her a lot. She became introvert and she doesn’t have a lot of friends. She stopped playing piano because Min Jung appa used to play piano every night for her. It was a hard time, and when I finally get her to move on from her deep sadness, you came. I could tell she was really happy when she was with you, and I am really grateful for that.”

Shin’s eomma continued, “But then, around 5 months later, you disappeared. You left without saying goodbye. That really make her broke, and I think since that, she created her own perception of love in her mind.”

“I left her?” I asked.

“Ne.” She nodded. “It was in 2006, I think it was somewhere near the New Year… or Lunar New Year.”

“I debuted with Super Junior in 2006.” I told her. “But I didn’t remember that I left-“ Once again, like a lighting, the memories flashed through my mind. But this time, it was quite blurry I couldn’t remember everything.

2006. New Year. Shin Min Jung.

My head hurts a little, but I need to recall my memories.

“Kyuhyun-ssi, are you okay?” I heard Shin’s eomma voice.

Then, in seconds, I remembered it all. Everything is clear.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

January 2006. A cold winter.

“Oppa, I learned how to bake cookies from my eomma.” She told me happily while the two of us walked home from school.

“Really? Why you didn’t let me try it?” I replied.

“I think I am going to make a lot for Lunar New Year.” She said. “Oppa, do you want to come over to my house?”

“Sure.” I smiled.

“But I can’t guarantee you the taste, though.” She smirked. “Oppa, you should try all the cookies, okay?”

“Well, if that’s the case I think it’s better not to come over…”

“Ah, oppa!” She stomped her foot. “Please come over. My house is really quiet during the Lunar New Year, I can’t even feel the New Year vibe.”

I laughed as I ruffled her bangs. “Arasseo, arasseo.”

“Yay! It’s a promise, right?” Her face turned bright.

“Ne~”

“It’s a promise! You should really come~”

“I’m home~” I shouted as I took off my shoes.

“Oh~ nae adeul*~” I heard eomma replied.

I walked quickly towards the dining room. I went home quite late today, the whole family should be sitting together in the dining room at this time.

“Kyuhyun-ah, chukkahae!” Ahra noona greeted me happily.

“For what?” I walked closer to the table to peek at tonight’s dinner menu.

“That… The SM casting staff, they called home this evening. Remember the audition that you joined several months ago? Omo, they told eomma that you passed the audition! They want you to come as soon as possible to sign some contracts and stuffs.” Eomma chattered happily. She continued again in a happy tone, “Aigoo, as expected, nae adeul~”

I joined a singing competition last year because of hobby, but then unexpectedly there were some agencies’ casting staffs searching for new talents too there. One of the staffs gave me a business card, and asked me to join the audition for their agency. I did join the audition 2 weeks later, but they haven’t contacted me since then. Then now, suddenly…

“So, after Kyuhyunnie signed the contract, then he will officially become SM’s trainee?” Appa asked.

Then everything passed so quickly just like that.

It was Saturday morning when eomma and I went to SM to sign a trainee contract.

She had no idea about this at all, so after I braced myself to tell her that we won’t meet as often, I walked to her house to find her but she was not there.

I went to school on Monday but she wasn’t there either. In the afternoon, during science class, the teacher told me that I was permitted to go home and later I knew it was SM staffs so asked for permission, and the next thing I know is that they demand me to go for training everyday until I need to skip school.

I never meet her anymore since then, because three months later, I debuted as the thirteenth member of Super Junior.

I still had that little hope in my heart that somehow we could accidentally meet anywhere, but we didn’t.

“Ah, so it was like that.” Shin’s eomma nodded as she listened to my story. “Min Jung keeps thinking that you left her without saying goodbye.”

“I’m really sorry.” I sighed. “It wasn’t my intention…But then, why didn’t she come to school? She was a really diligent student and as I remembered, she always come to school every single day…”

“Ah, it was in 2006, wasn’t it?” Shin’s eomma asked. “Yoon Hee’s grandmother passed away in that year… Ah yes.” She nodded repeatedly as she is trying to recall her memories. “We got a call from Yoon Hee’s parents in Busan that her grandmother passed away, so Min Jung and I went back to Busan to pay our last respect.”

“I see…”

I go to the hospital like usual today. Holding on to a small hope that I have, I walked towards the usual bench near Shin’s room and sat down.

I waited, and Shin’s eomma came out of the room 10 minutes later.

“Oh, Kyuhyun-ssi, you’re here already?” She greeted as she closed the door behind her.

“Ne, eommoni. Good morning.” I smiled. “Oh, and I wanted to gave this to Min Jung.” I reached for something in my jeans’ pocket.

A small paper that has been folded and is rather dull.

Shin’s eomma looked at the paper that I handed to her and read, “Min Jung’s wish voucher.” She smiled as she asked, “and your wish is?”

SHIN MIN JUNG’S POV

“Kyuhyun-ssi is here.” was the thing I heard eomma said everyday in the morning when I woke up. “Don’t you want to let him in?”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to see him.” I lied. Every single day.

“Did he do something that offends you?” Eomma asked. “Aniyo.” I replied.

“Did something happen?” She asked again. “Aniyeyo, eommoni.”

“He wanted to see you.” Eomma told me the next day.

“He is coming everyday.” Eomma told me the next next day.

“Aigoo, look at that poor kid. You let him wait everyday.” It’s the eighth day today, and eomma is still talking about him every morning.

“He will eventually stop coming, so just let him wait.” I said as I reached for the tv remote.

“No, I think he will come everyday just to see you.” Eomma took a seat beside me. “Can’t you see that guy likes you so much? You like him too, right?”

I pressed the tv remote repeatedly to switch the tv channel as I tried to control my emotion inside, “Eomma, I don’t want to talk about this. And he doesn’t like me.”

It’s the ninth day since I stopped seeing him.

“Kyuhyun-ssi is outside.” Eomma said. I keep silent.

“Should I ask him to get inside?” Eomma asked. I shook my head, but I didn’t say anything. I’m too tired to lie everyday, to say that I don’t want to see him.

It’s the tenth day.

I woke up and do my daily routines as usual, but I haven’t heard anything about him today. I glanced at the clock, and it says 11:13AM. He usually came to visit at around 10.

I had some small talks with eomma and she even went out once to buy me milk, but she hasn’t talked about Cho today.

I’m partly curious and partly worried, but every time I was going to asked about him, I always held myself in. I told eomma I don’t want to see him.

“Weird. Kyuhyun-ssi is not coming today.” Eomma mumbled, but clear enough for me to hear.

So he is really not coming. I see.

“I told you he’ll eventually stop coming.” I said, trying not sound like I don’t care. He’s probably tired and giving up on me now. It’s okay, I understand. I am the one who didn’t want to see him anyway. I started this.

Cho didn’t come the next day.

He’s really leaving.

He’s probably mad or disappointed at me now.

It’s okay.

It’ll be easier for both of us if we parted like this.

It’s okay.

But then, I realized I was wrong.

Cho came the next day.

And he still came the day after.

No matter how much I deny it, the fact that he is still here accompanying me everyday gives me strength. He gives me hope.

The fact that he’s not giving up undeniably makes me happy, but I still can’t let him meet me yet. Not at this time. I don’t want him to see me very sick like this. I don’t want him to waste his time for me.

“Min Jung-ah, wake up! It’s 10.” My eyes flutter open to the gentle shaking of my shoulder.

“Are you feeling sick somewhere?” I can feel eomma’s hand on my forehead. “Aniyo~” I answered lazily as I shifted my body.

“Aish. Kyuhyun-ssi is outside, waiting to meet you. And you are still sleeping like this, huh?”

It’s the eighteenth day today, and yet he is still coming.

Clearing my throat, I replied, “I’m not going to meet him too, today.”

“I don’t think so? He brought something with him today.”

He got something for me? Not moving from my position, I told eomma, “Tell him I am not going to receive anything from him.”

“He is not giving you something. You owe him this.”

I owe him?

I turned my body towards eomma and my eyes fixed on something familiar. That blue paper, the voucher that I gave him for his birthday gift last year.

It took me one hour to prepare myself before I meet him.

I took a bath, wash my hair, brush my teeth, put on some powder and lip gloss to make my face less pale, and spray on some perfume.

I don’t usually pay too much attention on how I look, but this time, I just wanted to look good in front of him.

Aish. Why am I being like this.

“Can Kyuhyun-ssi come in now?” Eomma asked, more like quipping me as I walked out of the bathroom.

I smiled, feeling a little bit nervous for no reason.

“Alright. Let him in.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

*Nae adeul = my son