I opened the door slowly and get inside the room. It’s 6AM in the morning, and I’m already in a hospital. I go to hospital sometimes to get my health check, because of the pneuthomorax I’m having but it doesn’t mean that I like hospital. I hate the smell.

And the reason why I came to hospital today makes me hate hospital even more.

I walk towards Shin’s eommoni who has been accompanying Shin since yesterday.

After Shin fainted, I brought her to the hospital immediately, but I don’t know who to call. Then I remembered Donghae hyung, and I told him the situation and he came with his girlfriend, Yoon Hee-ssi 15 minutes later.

Yoon Hee-ssi is the one who contacted Shin’s eomma, and she also stayed in the hospital the whole night to accompany her.

“Oh, Kyuhyun-ssi, you came?” Shin’s eommoni gives me a warm smile.

“Imo, joheun achim*.” I greeted. “Shi- Min Jung is still sleeping?” I softened my voice; I don’t wanna wake her up.

Shin’s eomma nodded. “She was awake last night and couldn’t sleep. She just fell asleep at 2AM.”

“Ah.” I look at Shin. I remember Shin said she has insomnia. She still has it until now?

I heard the sound of the door opened, andI turned my head. Yoon Hee-ssi saw me and slightly bowed with 2 cups of coffee in her hands.

She offered a cup of coffee to Shin’s eomma, and turned towards me while saying, “Kyuhyun-ssi, do you want some?”

“Aniyo, that’s okay.” I replied.

Yoon Hee-ssi and Shin’s eomma talked a bit while waiting for Shin to wake up. I got nothing to do, so I just on the sofa near the window while looking at Shin.

Shin looks fine yesterday, does she get sick because of the rain yesterday? Aish, I shouldn’t have bring her to the tteokbokki shop…

“Kyuhyun-ssi.” Yoon Hee-ssi walked over and sit beside me. “I need to go to work, and Shin’s eomma also should get changed so can you please look after Min Jungie for a while?”

“Yes, of course. Both of you must be tired… get some rest.” I replied, then realizing I have to go to Incheon airport at 10… “Ah, Yoon Hee-ssi, but I-“

“You guys are going to Malaysia for the Golden Disk Awards today right?” She asked.

I blinked twice in surprise, and like a babo, I realized, of course, Donghae must have told her.

“I’ll be back before 10AM. There is an important meeting at 8AM that Min Jung’s eommoni should be in, but the meeting won’t take a long time.” She assured. “Please look after Min Jung until then.”

“Alright.” I nodded. “Don’t worry.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I don’t know how long I have been looking at Shin’s face.

I saw her sleeping once, but it’s the first time I really observed her face.

Her face looks like a little girl when she is sleeping. So peaceful. I feel like I could look at her face forever.

Maybe I’m out of my mind, because suddenly I feel the urge to touch her. Slowly and carefully, I brushed her hair out of her eyes, and run my finger along the edge of her face.

“Uh…” She murmured in her sleep.

I dismissed my hand because I'm afraid she'll wake up.

Cho Kyuhyun, what are you doing?

Shin rubbed her eyes and turned her body a bit while yawning.

“Joheun achim~” I said, seeing her awake.

Shin opened her eyes slowly, and she looked startled as her eyes pupils got bigger. She quickly wiped with her palm and turned her body. Then I heard her asking, “Why are you here?”

I smiled. “You don’t drool, don’t worry.” And I continued in a serious voice, ”You fainted yesterday right in front of me. You made me shocked and almost fainted too, you know?”

“Ah…” She nodded. “Mian. Then… don’t you have something to ask?” Now she turned back her body towards me and asked carefully, ”Like, what’s happening…”

“I will.” I replied. “But not now, because you’re still sick. We’ll talk about it later, after I go back from my schedule.”

“You’re going? Today?” She gives me that indescribable expression. To be honest, I never figured out what does that expression means.

“Oh. I’m going to the airport at 10.”

“I see…”

We talked, had breakfast together in the room-I bought my breakfast from canteen-, and spent the rest of the time chatting in the park outside the hospital before Shin’s eomma came back.

“Get well really soon.” I patted her back. “You owe me an explanation.” I whispered in her ear before leaving. I greet her mom goodbye and left.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

January 28th 2013

It’s been two weeks since the last I saw her. I have been very busy with Super Junior-M schedules, and I also have a musical tonight…

“Cho, is that you?” I heard her voice from the kitchen as soon as I open the door.

I can feel myself smiling as I replied, “Yeah, I’m home.”

I took off my cap and my backpack and put it on the sofa in the living room. I can smell the aroma of kimchi jjigae as I walked towards the kitchen.

“Annyeong~”

“Oh. Wasseo*?” She glanced at me and smiled.

I stood two metres from her and watch her cook. I’m actually tired from super packed schedules these two weeks, with numerous flights from Korea to China and Japan back and forth, but it was all paid off in the moment I see her.

Yeah, I have been feeling feel this way recently, but I refuse to think why since I’m just happy with it. With this feeling.

I mean, isn’t it great to have someone waiting for you at home sepulang kerja? To have someone who’ll cook for you, who you can talk to for hours, and to have someone who can be the reason for you to smile no matter how hard your day is…

“Cho, try this.” She turned her head and signaled me to come over.

Shin took a spoonful of soup from the pot. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

I tasted it a bit. “Mmm, masda*.”

“Jinjja? That’s a relief.” She smiled. “I haven’t cooked this for a while.”

Truthfully, her kimchi jjigae tastes. I think she forgot to put something in the soup, but that doesn’t matter, though. I still can eat it.

“Jjamkan*.” I saw her tasting her soup for the second time, and she frowned. “I think something is missing?”

Shin stirred her soup for a few seconds, then she tapped her forehead, “Ah! Salt and onion, how could I forgot that!”

She opened upper cupboard above the sink while murmuring something. I was going to help her, but because she’s tall, she easily grabbed the ingredients while tip-toeing a bit.

“Kimchi jjigae tastes bland without salt and onion, how come you told me it’s tasty?” She

“How could I know? It tastes okay for me.” I quibble.

She snorted. “Anyway, I have cleaned your room. You can go to your room if you want to take a rest.”

“Yah~ Why do you send me away from my own kitchen?”

“Ani~”

“Then, dwasseo. I’ll just stay here.” I said. Shin, I need to stay by your side. How if you suddenly faint again or something bad happens?

______________________________________________________________________________________________

SHIN MIN JUNG’S POV

“Now tell me what happened.” Cho said as soon as I am seated.

Aish, I knew this was coming but why am I still reluctant to say it out?

“Let’s talk about it after we have lunch.” I replied. “Try this. You like bulgogi, right?”

Cho lifted the chopsticks from the table. “We can talk while eating.”

I sighed. He really wants me to say it now.

I suddenly lost my appetite. “Well, my health… my health is not so good. It all started two years ago when I started feeling pain on my chest… I went for a check-up, and the doctor said there’s a problem with my heart.”

I saw him chewing his food slowly. Maybe he’s shocked, but he tried to stay calm and doesn't show it in his expression. “Problem? Like what?”

I sighed once again. This is my first time telling it to another person, except Yoon Hee. Even Donghae doesn’t know about this.

“Two years ago, suddenly… The doctor said, my heart stopped functioning normally. It might be hereditary disease, but because we have lost contact with my father since my parents divorced, we don’t know if the disease come from my father’s family side.”

I drink some water before I continued, “My heart does not pump as much blood as a normal person. This is why I get tired easily and I often feel short of breath.”

“So that’s why you gave up on your dream, you stopped dancing two years ago.” Cho simplified.

Oh? “How do you-“

“Dong Wook-ssi told me. How great you are in ballet, how your teacher likes you and how your juniors adore you so much. But you stopped dancing two years ago and never give anyone a definite reason.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. That was all I could replied.

“If that so…” Cho said in a low voice. I glanced at him, and realized he has stopped eating from a while ago. “Why didn’t you tell me since the beginning?” His gaze turned serious.

“I see no reason to tell you.”

“No reason? You are with me for almost everyday and you said you have no reason to tell me? You cleaned my whole apartment. You are in MY place. Aren’t those enough to be your reasons?” I see an expression in his face that I have never seen before.

“Well, don’t you think YOU are the one who made me do all these stuffs?” I glared at him. How dare is he to get mad at me?

__________________________________________________________________________________________

*joheun achim = good morning. *masda = (it’s) tasty. *jjamkan = wait.