Next Day

February 3rd 2013

I woke up at 4 in the morning and headed to the hospital after I washed up. Today is Shin’s birthday-it’s our birthday. She won’t be awake when I’m arrived, but it’s better to be first than to be last, right?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SHIN MIN JUNG’S POV

I was awaken by the sound of footsteps in the room. Who might it be?

I heard the sound of things being put on the table beside the bed. It must be the nurse.

“Saengil chukkahae, Shin.”

Cho? It’s him, I am sure. Doesn’t he have a schedule today?

“Shin Min Jung. It’s been a year…” I heard his voice again, and I decided to act like I am still sleeping.

“It’s been a year since we met… and even though we met because of an accident, and we started with a lot of fights, and disagreements… I am still glad we did.”

The only thing that I am glad about right now is that the room is all dark, so he can’t see my face. I am pretty sure my face has turned quite red by now.

“Shin Min Jung, get well soon and be healthy. There are still a lot of things I want to do with you, and there is one thing I really want to say, but I need to wait for the right time… so wait for me, will you?”

He let out a sigh. “Above all, I want to say I am sorry, and I am thankful. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you well, and I am thankful for staying with me.”

I heard his footstep came closer. “Saengil chukkahae, Shin Min Jung.”

Saengil chukkahae to you too, Cho.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two days later.

11AM in the morning.

Cho is not at home today because of his busy schedule. After cleaning up the apartment, I decided to tidy up my room a little bit.

It’s been a while since I moved in, and even though my room is always clean, but it has turned a little bit messy now.

I was tidying up my books when my sight fell on a medium-sized teddy bear on the table. It’s my birthday gift from Cho.

I smiled as I grabbed the teddy bear and patted its belly.

Oh, what is this? It sounds like, paper? I ed the pocket in front of the teddy shirt and found a small note which says “486.”

486? Is this a code? If yes, what for?

I put my hand inside the pocket to find another hint that might lead me to the answer, but I only found another necklace. It’s a shining, silver, thin necklace with a lock symbol. I look closely on the lock and a '486' is carved on it.

I look at the note again. 486. I turned the note but there’s nothing written on the back of it. So it’s only 486.

“There are still a lot of things I want to do with you, and there is one thing I really want to say, but I need to wait for the right time… so wait for me, will you?” His voice crossed my mind.

Ah… so I need to wait.

I couldn’t help but smile.

Cho, what are you trying to tell me?

_________________________________________________________________________________

Next Day

CHO KYUHYUN’S POV

“Wake up, sleepy head~” I called as I walked towards the window and part the curtain.

“Hmmm, let me sleep a little bit more.” I see her pulling the blanket over her head.

“It’s almost 10AM, gongju-nim*”

I opened the window a bit so there’ll be air exchange inside the room.

Then, I walked towards her and sit on the edge of the bed. “You slept well, but it’s time to wake up.” I pull back the blanket to wake her up.

Her imsomnia seems to get better, but I want to see whether is she feeling well or not. She doesn’t usually sleep for this long.

“Good morning. Do you feel better?” I touched her forehead to check whether she caught a cold or anything.

“Good morning.” She greeted. “I am fine. But you look horrible.”

Of course I look horrible. Shin had symptom again yesterday, but it wasn’t too bad and as always, she said she’ll be okay if she took her pills.

She seems to get better after taking those pills, but I am still worry so I went to her room to check on her every one hour last night.

But of course, I can’t tell her that.

So I said, “Get up~ I cooked chicken porridge for breakfast.” Instead.

“Woah, Cho, you cooked? Jinjja?”

I nodded proudly.

“Are you sure it’s edible?” She narrowed her eyes, making a doubtful face.

“Ya! Shin Min Jung!”

“Arasseo, arasseo.” She laughed.

_________________________________________________________________________________

SHIN MIN JUNG’S POV

“It tastes good, isn’t it?” He put a spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

I pretend to think hard as if this is a cooking contest. “Well, not bad.”

He smiled, looking satisfied. “Oh, Shin, do you have ballet practice today?”

“Of course.” I nodded. “The concert is coming in…” I count with my fingers. “Twelve days. I will be having practice everyday starting from today.”

“Does Dr.Bryan allow you to?”

I stopped eating. How do I explain this? “He… just advised me not to pull myself too much.”

Will he ask me to stop dancing?

“Alright.” He said, and I couldn’t feel more relieved.

“So, is there anything he wants you to do? Like, you know, eating menu, small exercises, things like that?”

“Nope.” I continue my breakfast. He has been paying quite a lot of attention to me lately. Even though it feels a little weird, but I’m happy he does.

We finished our breakfast a few minutes later, and I head to the kitchen to wash dishes.

I noticed Cho pulling a small chair to the kitchen and sit across the sink.

“Cho. Neo mwohae*?” I asked.

“Just sitting down.” He shrugged off.

“Tsk. Go clean the table.”

“I did already. Why are you trying to send me away from my own kitchen?”

“I just- aigo, dwaesseo.” Sometimes, I forget that Cho Kyuhyun will always be Cho Kyuhyun.

“Shin, let me help you.” He said.

“No, thanks. Two people washing dishes together will take a longer time than a single person washing them.” I replied.

He is already standing next to me as he said, “I didn’t say I’m gonna help you to wash. I was going to help you to dry the dishes.” He grabbed the dish towel from the hanger.

I rolled my eyes. “Do whatever you like.”

For a few minutes, the only sound that is heard in the room is the sound of dishes being washed.

“Shin.” He called.

“Wae?”

“When your symptom arises… when you got sick suddenly… how it feels? How do you feel?

I rinse the last plate and hand it to him.

“It must be really hurt. It has been hard on you, Shin Min Jung.” He said as he dry the plate.

I tapped my finger on the table near the sink. “Rather than feeling hurt… I feel scared. I’m afraid... It feels like my sickness will come at anytime and it will take everything away from me. And... I couldn't tell it to anyone, even to my mom, because it will only burden her. My illness...It just…scares me.”

Tears started to well up as my mind flashed back to several days ago, on my last day of being hospitalized.

Dong Wook oppa was at his home to take a bath and get changed, so I went to Dr.Bryan’s room to consult.

_________________________________________________________________________________

“Is there anything I should know, seonsaengnim?” I asked as I sit on the patient chair. “I haven’t seen the test result yet.”

“Yeah.” He took a paper from his drawer and put it on the table. “Here you go.”

I have been sick for long enough that I can read the test result without the doctor even explaining.

“It gets worse.” Was the only thing I could say.

“But the medicines work well. Your illness slows down slower than everybody else’s.” Dr.Bryan said what every doctor needs to say. “I’ll give you another medicine to take, and in your condition right now, I suggest you to fill this form.”

It’s a form for all the patients who wants to request for a heart donor.

“As you know, in your case, the only thing we can do is to slow down the illness so it won’t attack you too fast. There’s nothing we can do to cure it, so I suggest for a heart transplantation.”

_________________________________________________________________________________

I expect Cho to give me a pity look, like how people will always look at you when they know you're in a severe disease, but then I look into his eyes and I found a glimpse of sadness in it.

He also has that indescribable expression, I couldn't figure out what he is thinking.

“Ije gwaenchana*. Don't be scared, you have me. You have someone to lean on, and someone to take care of you.” He patted me on my shoulder.

A tear falls down and I quickly wipe it away.

“Everything will be okay.” I said, when I'm not even sure myself.

How can you not scared when you know that the illness in your body is slowly attacking you?

My condition is getting worse, no matter how much I want to deny it.

“Everything will be okay.” He assured. ”I promise.”

And I don't reject it when he pulls me closer for a hug.

_________________________________________________________________________________

*gongju-nim = princess. *neo mwoya = what are you doing. *ije gwaenchana = everything's okay now.