(JaeJoong’s POV)

“Sorry, the number you dialled is currently unavailable. Please try again later.”

For the thousandth times I tried to call her, the same answer I got. I glanced around anxiously for her in the busy Seoul airport. How could she just leave without waiting for me or mention it to me at all? She couldn’t be gone. I gripped tightly on the letter on my hand, nearly tearing it in pieces.

“Dammit!” I cursed, hanging up the phone. I glanced at the big sign board – flight to Tokyo had departed. She’s gone, completely. I took big stride out of the airport, containing my frustration and sadness.

“Where did she go?! Where did you send her to?!” I burst through Infinite’s dorm, demanding an answer. I stood tall, facing the 7 guys in the room.

“Kim JaeJoong sunbae-nim, you have no right to barge in just like that,” Sunggyu said politely.

“Cut the crap. Where is she?” I glared at them.

“We don’t know and even if we did, we won’t say a word.” Hoya spit those words through his teeth.  “You hurt her too much to deserve her.”

“I didn’t!” I roared. I was always there for her.

“Then where were you when she’s hurt by those fans and reporters? Where were you when she needed a shoulder to cry on? Where were you when she needed assurance? Where were you when she’s been locked up in her dorm for a week? And where were you when she was attacked by your fans?!” Hoya stood strong in front of me, glaring straight into my eyes.

“What?!” What is this nonsense about? Attacked? Grounded?

“Because of you, she had to go through all the hardship she didn’t need to. Now, you just came running back looking for her as if nothing’s happened.” Hoya said in anger.

“I provided her happiness and comfort her when she needed. What rights do you have to say I did nothing for her?!” I retorted back.

“Didn’t you freaking see the report?! Happiness,” Hoya snorted. “Only misery! Your fans did nothing but hurt her!”

“What did you say?” I wanted to land my punch on him so much.

“Stop!” Kyung Me’s manager came through the main door. Another Infinite member stood behind him. “JaeJoong-sii, please do not create a scene at other’s dorm. Kyung Me wants me to pass him to you.”

I took over Hero from him; she’s really gone, huh? She’ll never give up Hero.

“If she ever wants to contact you, I’ll help her pass the message. So, for the time being, please leave her alone. If you’ll, please leave,” Kyung Me’s manager opened the door politely. Hero whined a little in my arms, looking all sad.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I stepped out. I held onto Hero tightly, taking heavy footsteps towards my car. Hero gave a low whine and his puppy eyes fixed on Kyung Me’s dorm. He was the exact reflect of me without Kyung Me. I gazed at the letter that was thrown aside.

JaeJoong

Are you surprised to receive this? Keke. Since the first time I met you on Running Man, you always had given me surprises. From threatening me to tell you the truth to protecting me from all sorts of stuff and of course, Hero was the biggest gift of all.

You are like an impossible mission to me, to always keep up with your nonsensical ideas and your conversations. Still, I can’t help but fall for you. I know somehow, at some point of time, I would lose myself for loving you. So, here I am, writing you this letter because I need some time alone. I want to get my own life back. I don’t want to hide behind the curtains anymore.

JaeJoong, you always want me to trust you. Now, trust me. I’ll be back when I’m ready to face reality, to face you. Please don’t be upset or try to find me. You can hang in there, JaeJoong.

I love you.

I grabbed onto my steering wheel, tears finally came to me.  Please, don’t go.

Kim jae joong @mjjeje

I feel like dying. Help.

Kim jae joong @mjjeje

Please come back, I’m living in misery.

Kim jae joong @mjjeje

Orion, I’m going nuts, can you guys help me bring her back?

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