"Really? I can have this job?" You repeated through the phone. "Really?" 

"Yes, just show up to the cafe tomorrow at noon and Joon will give you your full schedule." Hyun Shik laughed on the other end. "He doesn't have many employees so it might be a little empty for a while. But with a face like yours, people will start flooding that place in no time." 

"Shut up, you're not funny." 

"I thought it was a compliment not a joke." 

"Shh... I'm hanging up then."

"Make sure to eat lunch! You always skip it." 

"Yeah, I got it." You hung up the phone and slipped it back into your pocket, dancing a little with excitement. "Yes! Score!" 

"Scored what? A boyfriend?" Ha Yi entered the apartment and gasped as you hugged her. 

"I got a job!"

"About time!" She smiled, pushing you off of her. "Where?"

"A cafe a few blocks away from home." You nodded. "I start tomorrow."

"Cool! I go back to work tomorrow as well. Having a weekend off really is great, I don't even want to work anymore. Can't I stay here all day like you?" Ha Yi slipped off her tennis shoes and ran over to the couch. "What's HaJoon been up to lately? Last I heard of him was like a week ago or something. Did he decide against meeting you when he saw how much you eat? I would, too." 

"Ha Yi-ah..." You grumbled, seating yourself on the couch beside her. "He's a busy person, I told you." Too busy... 

"Is he a CEO or something? He doesn't dress like he has money." 

You grunted a little and snickered at her. As if. "Anything happening with VIXX lately?"

"You really need to start updating yourself on them like you use too." Ha Yi tsked at you, scrolling through her phone like she always did first thing when she returned home. "They have a concert in Japan soon so they're preparing to fly there soon, probably." 

Japan? Would he visit before he left? You felt a little discouraged and upset. "Really? I didn't know that." 

"Clearly." 

"Ha Yi! You're snappy today." You prodded her shoulder. "Ha Yi! Let's go for lunch."

"Go with Hyun Shik, I already ate."

"He's busy." You pouted, leaving Ha Yi alone and standing. "Do we still have ramen?"

She shrugged and continued scrolling through whatever she was looking at. You tsked at her and went into the small kitchen, pulling out your phone as you did so. 

To: HaJoon

You're going to Japan? I didn't know that. You'll visit before you go, right? You must be packing. I'd love to help but I know better, just tell me is you need it. You probably don't since you have 5 other people with you. Text me before you leave, I guess. 

You placed your phone on the counter and went through the fridge and the cabinets but there was nothing that you felt like eating without spending too long to make it. "Ha Yi! It's your turn to buy food!" 

"I know!" She yowled in return. 

Your phone buzzed as you reached for it. "He always answers whenever I text first yet he won't text me first..." You mumbled as you opened his text.

From: HaJoon

I finished packing already, we're leaving tomorrow.

To: HaJoon

Tomorrow? That's earlier than I expected. Have fun, then. 

From: HaJoon

Thanks.

To: HaJoon

Did I do something wrong? Make sure to eat well even though you're going away, okay? Are you okay? Something seems wrong.

From: HaJoon

Deal.

"What did I do?" You whined at your phone. "Ha Yi-ah... I think HaJoon is mad at me."

"Why?"

"I dunno..."

"Ask him."

"Can I really do that?" 

"Try it, if he gets even more upset, then don't try it again." 

"Thanks... You're a real help..." You rolled your eyes, staring at your phone. "What did I do wrong? I thought the last time we met went okay..."

From: HaJoon

Can I see you? I need to talk to you about something.

Your heart pounded at the text and not in a good way. You did something wrong, you knew it. But... You didn't know what and it was frightening you.

From: HaJoon

I'm already in a taxi to Suwon. Tell me where to meet. 

Already?

From: HaJoon

If you don't tell me where to meet then I'll just show up at your house. This is something I wanted to tell you when I last met with you so it's fairly important. You're not busy, right?

To: HaJoon

Just meet me at my house then. Ha Yi is here but we can talk outside, it's nice out anyways. Did I do something wrong? I can't help but feel like I have. If this is a meeting to scold me then just go back to Seoul. I don't want it.

From: HaJoon

Scold you? Why would I scold you?

To: HaJoon

You sound upset.

From: HaJoon

I'm upset but not at you. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'll be there in a few minutes. 

You sighed once more and slipped the phone into your pocket, putting on your tennis shoes and throwing your hair up into a pony tail. "I'm going out, if you need me, text me." You called to Ha Yi, recieving a hum of approval as you left the apartment and went down the steps, sitting on the steps just outside the apartment complex. 

If you didn't do anything wrong, then what was wrong with him? Maybe he had a spat with one of the members... That happens often probably. 

You sat there, playing with your thumbs for a good ten minutes before you saw Hakyeon walk up the hill to your complex. He was wearing his yellow hoodie with a pair of sunglasses this time. You stood as he neared and offered a smile. "I know you said it wasn't me who you were upset with but it still makes me nervous." You admitted as he reached you. 

He took off his sunglasses and looked at you with the dark brown eyes you adored. "___, I have something to say. It might be shocking." He sighed, gripping his glasses at his side.

You nodded. "I'm listening." 

He couldn't make eye contact with you. "I've come to... Like you a little more than expected. I've always adored you ever since we were talking online but as I kept meeting you, I stopped adoring you and started... Liking you." 

"Liking? That's not a big deal." You smiled, relieved. "I like you too. Friends like each other..."

"No." He interrupted you. "Not that sort of like, deeper than that. I wouldn't call it love just yet but I do like you in that sort of way." 

Your heart pounded and your body froze. "Huh?" 

He shifted his weight, uncomfortable. "I wanted to tell you when we met last time but I couldn't get myself to do it. I had courage to do it today since I would be leaving for a few weeks. Even though we don't see each other that often anyways, I figured this time it was different since we couldn't just drive to each other." He drew a shaky breath. "I figured that we'd both need time after I said this so it's even more perfect that I'm leaving tomorrow." He searched your face for any hints to what you've just heard. "I'm leaving then. That's all I have to say." He turned and began walking away.

You panicked and grabbed his wrist, causing him to drop his glasses that were still in his hand. "Don't you want to know my answer?"

He glanced at your briefly, turning to look away once more. "Not now. I don't want to hear it." 

You looked at him with surprise but of course he couldn't see that you were. "Why not?" 

"Because I'm afraid that you like me too." He shook your hand off of his wrist. "I don't want you to like me." 

Your heart dropped and you slowly put your arm back to your side. "Why would you think such a thing?" You spoke while fighting back tears. "I never said I liked you, how could you assume that I do? Were you always this confident, just because you're an idol?"

He turned to look at you. "That's not what I was saying..." 

"I don't like you like that! If you like me, that's cool. I see you as HaJoon! I've never once seen you as Hakyeon! While you're in Japan, take care of your feelings." You hadn't meant to say anything but you ended up just making this whole thing worse by opening your mouth. 

He nodded, slowly. "I'm going for real... This time. See you, ____." He waved his hand slightly and took off down the road he came. 

You started after him but stopped, watching him run down the hill and turn the corner. "What did I just do?" You pulled at your hair. "I was just frustrated! Why can't I like him? How could he like me? What did I do?" 

You sat on the pavement and tucked your knees to your chest, turning your head to see the sunglasses still sitting on the ground. You picked them up and sighed, a tear slipping down your cheek. I just hurt Hakyeon... If he truly liked me at all, he wouldn't after he returned from Japan... Why do I always act on impulse like a child? I ... I really . 

--

"___, here's your schedule. You worked well today. I looked forward to getting to know you." Joon smiled at you as he handed you a piece of paper with hours on it. 

"Thanks." You smiled weakly at him, slipping the piece of paper into your pocket with your phone. "I'll go now."

Joon nodded and waved to you as you left the cafe, walking towards the bus stop. You couldn't stop thinking about what happened with Hakyeon yesterday. It hurt you on so many different levels but you couldn't imagine how Hakyeon feels. Maybe he already stopped liking you. He said it wasn't love, just something more than a friend, so maybe it was just a passing thing. Who knows? You ruined your friendship with him. Again and for real since last time at his dorm wasn't anything that bothered him. But this time, it seemed unfixable. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket but you didn't open the message and instead just shut off your phone. You knew it wasn't Hakyeon and you weren't in the mood to deal with anyone else. 

"___!" Hyun Shik called to you as you reached the bus stop. Speaking of the devil... 

"Hyunnie." You turned to him, offering a smile. "What're you doing out here?"

"I wanted to see you at work today but I didn't know what time you ended. Want to grab dinner? It's almost 7." He smiled at you as he stood in front of you. 

"No thanks." You mumbled, silently hoping for the bus to hurry up and arrive so you could go home. "You go ahead and grab something for yourself."

He pouted. "Just eat with me! I'm tired of eating alone all the time."

"I told you, just get a girlfriend. You're handsome so it should be easy." You flicked him on the forehead. 

He rubbed his forehead and sighed. "You're out of it today. Ha Yi told me you were like this after HaJoon left yesterday." How does she know you had met with him last night? "Just forget him. He makes you upset too often."

"It's the opposite this time." You sighed, pointing to the bus as it came to a stop. "I'll be going now. Get home safely and eat a lot. You look like you need kimchi." You waved to him, not letting him keep you from boarding, and got on the bus, heading towards the back once more and taking your seat. 

"Have you heard the news?" Some young lady in front of you began talking to her friend, you just happened to be hearing it. "About VIXX?" Peeking your interest, you tuned into their conversation more than you already were. 

"Yeah, about them being in Japan?" 

"Not that, about the leader of the group, N." 

Hakyeon? "N? Oh! What did the news say?" 

"When they uploaded a V-log on the V app of them being on the plane, he was completely out of it. All the members were frustrated with him since he usually likes to hog the camera but he sat back and listened to the music in his headphones apparently."

"That's news?"

"Well not huge news but rumors are starting to spread that N is unhappy with the group. Anti-fans are saying that the video wasn't supposed to be uploaded since it wasn't planned and instead exposed N's true feelings about the group. They say since he wasn't warned about the video, he wasn't able to act."

"I would have never guessed."

"Of course it's just a rumor. Rumors spread at every blink of an idol's eye so it's probably fake but it's big news for the group since this is the first 'scandal' the group has been in and it's even worse since it involves the leader of the group." 

You slumped. He's upset at you so of course he wouldn't want to be his normal, chipped self in front of a camera. Anti-fans just look for anything that could start a rumor. 

Another girl leaned over to the two talking about VIXX. "Did you hear the last rumor following that one?" 

There's more? "Huh? You're a VIXX fan too?"

"Yeah, I'm a huge fan of N so I tuned into a lot of these rumors. I heard that a girl was found leaving the VIXX dorm a month or so ago and so anti-fans are now saying that the girl dumped him." 

"N had a girlfriend? I would have never guessed!" 

"I know right? There's evidence of the girl leaving the dorm too, here, I'll show you."

You leaned forward to see the picture as well. It was a rather dark picture of you crouched down on a step from the staircase just outside the VIXX dorm. Your face was hidden by your hair though so there was no way people could tell who it was. There was a reporter there? I didn't even notice... Look at all this trouble that's surfacing because of me... 

"Are you a fan as well?" The lady who showed the picture had smiled at you.

"Yeah." You nodded, relaxing back into your seat. "I don't believe the rumors. There are other dorms in the building other than VIXX's, who knows if she came from that specific dorm? These rumors are just surfacing because of a little V-log. He probably just wasn't feeling up to it." 

"That's true." They nodded. "Rumors are rumors. I'm sure it'll die down soon anyways."

You agreed and the four of you went back to doiing what you were doing before the whole conversation. You your phone and looked in surprise at all the messages from Hakyeon.

From: HaJoon

*links to the rumors about you and him* 

From: HaJoon

*Picture of you crouched down on the steps*

From: HaJoon

I told you to be careful!

From: HaJoon

How could you not know a reporter was there? 

From: HaJoon

You are pretty careless... 

From: HaJoon

I trusted you a little more than this. But I guess it's what I get for trusting a girl who can't even tell she's being watched. It looks dark so you should've seen the flash or at least heard it. Why didn't you just leave as soon as you could?

From: HaJoon

I'm being scolded for this. If these rumors spread further than this then there is nothing I can do to hide your identity.

From: HaJoon

We can't meet anymore, as if that wasn't already obvious enough.

From: HaJoon

If you're ignoring me then I understand. I'm sorry for ranting. 

From: HaJoon

I'm deleting your number so you delete mine as well. 

From: HaJoon

Sorry. 

A tear strode down your cheek as you read all the messages. How could I not know there was a reporter there? How could I be so clueless and careless? 

To: HaJoon

I'm sorry. I feel so guilty for hurting you with both my words and my carelessness... Can't we keep contact at least? We don't have to meet... I'm sorry... I like you, too...

You sent the text and exhales slowly, tears slipping down your cheeks uncontrollably now. It wasn't completely my fault... He did tell me to meet him at the dorm even though I hadn't wanted to meet with him that day in the first place... I even tried avoiding it! Also, he could have turned his flash off. And Hakyeon said it himself, the staircase was dark. I couldn't have seen him even if I looked and if the flash was off then it would be completely impossible for me to see him if I wasn't looking. It wasn't completely me... 

You got off the bus as it came to your stop and ran home, wishing to just melt into nothing. 

--

"___! Did you see the rumors about N? He's speculated to have had a girlfriend! They even have a picture of a girl coming from VIXX's dorm! It's too dark to see her face though." Ha Yi yowled as you entered the apartment, taking off your shoes and leaving them by the door. "This picture was posted the day of the incident but didn't recieve a lot of attention until this morning when VIXX uploaded their V-log on the V app."

You hung your head in defeat and collapsed on the couch beside Ha Yi. "Ha Yi-ah... I'm going to tell you something shocking. You have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Of course. Who do you think I am?"

"I'm that girl in the picture."

"What? Stop joking."

"HaJoon turned out to be N. I didn't really believe it at first and I was angry but as we kept meeting, I ignored that fact. Hakyeon disguised himself as someone named HaJoon so that we could continue to meet. But I was clumsy and got caught like this. And yesterday when we met briefly, he told me something I didn't expect and I yelled at him like a child. Then all this happened and it's all my fault..." You whined, burying your face into her lap. "Ha Yi... I'm hurting so much..."

"You expect me to believe that?" She tsked at you.

You handed her your phone. "Look through the messages. It's N."

She took a moment to look through all the messages since you never deleted them and gave a surprised gasp when she finished. "HAKYEON WAS HAJOON?"

"Yes."

"Wow... And this is you?" She pointed to her phone. "You came out of his dorm?"

"Yeah. That was the night after the concert. He wanted to talk to me about somethings and I ended up leaving in a rush when the other members returned. I hadn't even noticed the reporter there and I honestly didn't expect one to be there so late at night and in the odd location. Reporters are really relentless." A tear fell down your cheek and into Ha Yi's jeans. "That's why I told you that he's no one we can touch. He's out of both of our reaches. Even more so now..."

Ha Yi your hair. "I'm sure he'll understand... He's probably just as surprised as you."

"No, Ha Yi. I hurt him yesterday."

"I'm sorry, I just can't get over the fact that you've been friends with N this whole time."

You stood up, frustrated with yourself and Ha Yi. "I know, it's hard." You went into your room, holding your phone to your chest.

You couldn't delete his contact, you knew it. You just couldn't. I'm sorry, Hakyeon. Yesterday... Were all just lies that came out of my mouth...

The rumors... I wish they weren't there. 

I wish I wasn't so careless...

I wish I could go to you. 

I wish a lot of things but I can't have any of them, can I?

I miss you already, Hakyeon. 

I'm sorry. 

Hey guys! So I think I'm going to set up a schedule for myself. I'm thinking that after this chapter, I will publish a new chapter every Tuesday and Thursday. We'll see how that goes! Anyways, thank you for reading and sticking with this fanfiction! I enjoy writing it and I enjoy reading your feedback! I'm thinking that the next chapter will be in Hakyeon's POV... Anyways! Thanks for subscribing <3 ~PandaBiscuit~