SEUNGCHEOL

There was a stillness to the apartment that Seungcheol had associated with days that had seemed so far off, days that didn't seem real once finals for the graduating students had started. But here it was. Raising his head slightly, Seungcheol listened for any sounds or signs of movement but there was none. 

Rolling out of bed, he slipped on his sweatpants, yawning lazily. He walked out of his room, eyebrows raising at the disorganized mess that was their living room. It looked like the stress was getting to his roommate. Amidst the scattered papers, a bright yellow post it almost seemed to shine. 

Seungcheol hyung, 
I made breakfast so just heat it up! 
I'll probably be home late 
Text you later. 

-Junhui

Seungcheol chuckled, shaking his head as he began picking up the mess, trying to organize it somehow. When the living room looked more like its former self and not some paper waste plant, Seungcheol headed to the kitchen to find some food. As promised, Jun's cooking was there on the table. Seungcheol walked back to his room, grabbing his phone as he waited for his food. A smile instantly bloomed on his face when he saw the onslaught of messages. He scanned through Seungkwan and Seokmin's messages, huffed at Doyoon's before opening up Wonwoo's texts.

From: Won
Good morning
Does it count when i haven't slept? 
;;
Why
Why was college invented
I hate it :((

Seungcheol laughed, unable to keep the fond smile off his face as he imagined Wonwoo texting them. He hummed as he began eating while replying to the younger.

To: Won
Morning.
Guess who had a full night of rest ;) 

From: Won
I hate you =_=

To: Won
Shouldn't you be getting ready?
Jun already left for his class
Even if you hate college, you have to attend it

From: Won
Running atm!
Besides i realized i dont hate college
It's where I met Mingyu after all

Seungcheol frowned at the reply, standing up to wash the dishes. Everything was back to normal then.
--
Seungcheol wasn't a fan of wallowing in his thoughts so he went out to try and keep his thoughts away. He went for a grocery run, getting more than necessary as per usual. He mentally went through Hansol's schedule, picking a time to meet up with the younger to give them their share. Someone had to make sure that Hansol and Wonwoo, the two most insanely focused people Seungcheol had ever met, would eat. He cringed as he remembered how much of a zombie the two resembled during midterms. 

One zombie managed to escape Seungcheol's nagging and instead went to his boyfriend's place. 

Seungcheol frowned as he sat down at the bench by the supermarket. The whole fake dating thing still left a bitter taste in his mouth and he wasn't sure if it was ever going to go away. Was it because he still felt like Mingyu didn't deserve Wonwoo after all that had gone down? Did he feel like a bad friend because Wonwoo was lonely, lonely enough to agree to be a stranger's fake boyfriend and he, who was supposed to be the younger's best friend, hadn't noticed? 

Or maybe it wasn't that noble of a reason. 

Was it because he felt jealous? Mingyu experienced being the center of Wonwoo's universe, to always have that smile directed at him, be subject to the younger's surprising aegyo, make Wonwoo's cheeks color so beautifully. Everything that Seungcheol had wanted for so long, had wanted despite it being wrong because his other best friend was Wonwoo's boyfriend but no matter how much he berated himself, the incessant want for the younger remained. Seungcheol had wanted those for more than seven years and then Mingyu just appeared out of nowhere, sweeping all of it away with little to no difficulty. 

God, life was so unfair. 

Seungcheol groaned loudly. So much for keeping his thoughts away. Luckily, he spotted someone that could stop him from wallowing even more. He grabbed the groceries, treading lightly as he followed the younger. His eyebrows shot up at the path they were taking; it was obvious they were lost. Taking pity on the younger, Seungcheol finally spoke up.

"Chan, I don't think Hansol would be too happy to know you're going to where the clubs are. He hasn't even been in to one." Seungcheol said in lieu of a greeting, making the younger jump.
"Hyung!" Chan exclaimed, relief written all over his face. He ran to the older, a petulant pout on his lips. "Hyung, I think I'm lost." 
"You think." Seungcheol repeated. He rolled his eyes. "Come on. Tell hyung where you have to go." 
--
Seungcheol watched with pride as Chan handled all the enrollment procedures on his own just fine. After getting to the admissions office, the younger had all but forgotten about Seungcheol, asking on his own how to get things done and following through quite well. Seungcheol actually felt a little silly following Chan around like this while carrying the groceries; he felt like one of the parents that were accompanying the other incoming freshmen. It made sense though; Chan was the oldest in the family after all and was quite independent outside their group. 

"Are you done?" Seungcheol asked when he saw Chan keeping a piece of paper with much care.
Chan beamed, back to being the magnae of the group. "Yeah,hyung! Just one last interview with the dean then I can find out which dorm I'll be staying at." 
Seungcheol nodded, leading the way outside. "You're staying at the dorms? Why?" 
Chan blushed, voice going softer. "It's too soon to be living with Hansol, don't you think?"
"I wasn't talking about Sol, idiot. I meant you could stay at our apartment. Haven't Seokmin and Seungkwan told you the evils of the dorms?"
"Oh,uh,yeah. But aren't they staying at one room now?" 
Seungcheol laughed. "That was only because Seungkwan kept pestering his roommate to agreeing. The kid would literally belt out songs at 3 in the morning. I know their RA well enough to pass as one of the dormers there." 
Chan's eyes widened. "What if my roommate is like that as well? Oh my God, hyung, I won't be able to sleep!"
Seungcheol ssnickered "The chances of finding a roommate like Seungkwan is very unlikely, Chan. Besides, the offer still stands. You know Jun likes babying you anyway." 
The younger didn't look too happy at the 'babying' part but Seungcheol could see that the idea was starting to have an appeal on the other. "Are you sure you won't mind, hyung? You're used to just Jun hyung." 
Seungcheol froze for a bit, biting his lip as he shook his head. "You won't need my opinion on that. Just ask Jun and I'm sure he'll say yes."
"What do you mean by your opinion isn't needed? It's your place, isn't it?" 
"Yes but I won't be staying in it per se..." Seungcheol drifted off, not knowing if he should say it just yet. The only other person that knew was Doyoon. 
Chan frowned. "Where are you going then?" 
"Out to buy me food. Come on, Cheol. You promised." Doyoon grinned, hanging off Seungcheol as he spoke.
Chan jumped. "Jesus. Don't do that, hyung!" 
"Not quite Jesus but thanks, kid." Doyoon chuckled.
Seungcheol rolled his eyes, nudging the other off of him. "Don't be mean or I'm not buying you food." For all his grumbling, he knew Doyoon could see the relief in his eyes.
Doyoon winked, as if reading Seungcheol's mind. "Fine, just buy me my food." The smirk on his lips confirmed that Doyoon would be using this as a favor against Seungcheol someday. 
Chan looked between the two of them. "Uh, should I get going then?" 
"Nah, come on. If I'm going to treat this idiot,I might as well treat you. Hansol can join us when he finishes his class." Seungcheol announced, ing one of the bags into Doyoon's arms. "Carry that." 
"Why isn't Chan carrying anything?" Doyoon whined, huffing when the two just started walking ahead of him. "Why do you even have this much food? I highly doubt Jun eats as much as you." 
"Won's." Seungcheol answered as explanation. 
"Of course. Shouldn't have asked."
--
"You know when I said that we could grab lunch together today, I meant a date, as in just the two of us. You know without these old people." Hansol said, a frown marring his face as he sat down across Chan. "I mean, even the devil hyung is here."
"Yah." Doyoon pouted at the nickname. 
Seungcheol silenced the other with a look, patting Hansol's head while guiding it to his shoulder. "Tough exam?" He asked, knowing how the younger lashed out when he was stressed. 
Hansol sighed, nodding as he leaned in further. "My prof just hates me because a New Yorker stole his girlfriend or something like that. I don't want to repeat his subject." 
"You won't. Even if he wanted to fail you, your written outputs are enough evidence to counter that." Seungcheol replied though he mentally noted to find out who that prof was. 
Chan coughed, making Hansol sit up straight, grabbing the younger's hand in a hurry. "Heh." Chan smiled gratefully. "Hyung's right though. I'm sure you aced all his written exams so he can't just fail you out of the blue." 
"He asked me five oral comprehensive questions! Everyone just got asked one or two." Hansol whined. "You know I hate getting put on the spot like that, babe." 
Chan blushed at the term but settled for nodding, drawing circles on hansol's hands. "Such a bad guy." 

Seungcheol tried to keep quiet for the rest of their lunch, only talking to Doyoon whenever he spoke. He hadn't meant to make Chan jealous but he knew that the younger was mildly insecure with the knowledge that Seungcheol was always at Wonwoo and Hansol's place. Of course, it was because no one else knew that they've got the angle wrong, that it wasn't Hansol why Seungcheol was always there. Or maybe Hansol knew but just didn't speak up; the younger was mischievously cunning at times. 

The plan seemed to work though. Chan gradually became brighter until he returned to his regular self. He would laugh whenever Hansol and Doyoon bickered because no matter how many signals Seungcheol sent the latter, he just wouldn't shut up and let the couple have their date. Hansol even managed a kick when Doyoon tried to hug Chan, making everyone else laugh. 

Seungcheol couldn't help the melancholic feeling as he watched them. Who would make sure that these kids wouldn't kill each other in his stead? 

"You alright? You've been quiet all this time." Doyoon asked when Chan and Hansol went to buy take out for Chan's family.
Seungcheol sighed. "I guess I'm still not sure if I should go."
"Everything's ready, you idiot and this is a golden opportunity. Stop overthinking things." 
"Yeah but I don't think I'm ready." 
"That's cause there are still some loose ends to tie up." Doyoon said, voice uncharacteristically serious. "I think it's time Wonwoo finds out, don't you?" 
"What for? It'll just make things hard for him. Anyone with eyes could see that he's head over heels for Mingyu." Seungcheol replied, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.
"That is much heavier than any baggage you could bring, Cheol. You've been keeping it inside of you for what, a decade now? Something like that, give or take. You're going to die with what you're doing." Doyoon said in frustration. 
Seungcheol rolled his eyes at how dramatic his best friend was being. "No one dies from a broken heart, Do."
"But you do die from suffocation." Doyoon stated frankly. 
"That is a very scary thing to overhear." Hansol commented, saving Seungcheol from responding. The couple looked alarmed as they took their respective seats. 
"Yeah, hyung. It sounded like you planned on killing Cheol hyung." Chan said timidly. 
Seungcheol laughed nervously, making Hansol tense up further beside him. "Yeah, it was something like that."
"Seungcheol's leaving for Los Angeles after graduation." Doyoon announced.
Seungcheol gaped at him in shock. "What the ?! You told me I could trust you!" 
"You were going to say it sooner or later, right? I just helped you out with your youngest bunch." Doyoon shrugged. 
"Wait, are you serious? Seungkwan just texted me about that. He said it was posted in the bulletin board of your building." Hansol explained in a rush, showing the message to Seungcheol. 
"See?" Doyoon said as he leaned across the table to read the message as well. "You're going to be famous in your department now." 
"Ugh, Mrs. Kang said she wouldn't do this." Seungcheol groaned.
"But you're really going to L.A., hyung? How come?" Chan asked, bouncing in his seat with excitement. 
"Uh, my thesis.. apparently it caught the attention of a pretty famous professor in a school there. I didn't even know he was part of the panel until Mrs. Kang told me." Seungcheol replied, feeling a little shy about it. There was a reason why he had told just Doyoon so far. 
Hansol whistled. "That's so awesome, hyung! Wow, you nearly dying of caffeine and red bull was worth it then!" 
Seungcheol chuckled. "Thanks for reviving me, by the way." 
"Someone had to be calm. Won hyung just kept screaming." 
Chan laughed. "Oh my God, Wonwoo hyung called me instead of the ambulance in his panic."
"What? Where was I when this was happening?" Doyoon complained. 
"Probably getting lectured by your professors or your dean." Seungcheol answered. He frowned as he suddenly thought of something. "Yah, are those your only reactions? I was putting it off since you guys might get sad or something but apparently, I was worried for nothing." 
"I am sad or I will be but mostly, I'm happy! Hyung, you're going to L.A because you impressed a big shot professor there! If I were you, I'd be off the roof with happiness!" Hansol exclaimed, Chan nodding along to what his boyfriend was saying. 
"See, telling the kids was the right thing to do." Doyoon grinned, throwing an arm around Seungcheol. 
"One of your rare fine moments, Jang." Seungcheol said, mirroring the smile on his best friend's face. He couldn't help but feel excited as well, the giddiness from the younger ones contagious. "I'm nervous though. My English isn't that good and L.A seems very foreign." 
"You have me and we have Josh! He'll introduce you to his friends there and you'll be set." Hansol assured him.
"You're highly adaptable, hyung. You'll be fine." Chan said, giving him a thumbs up. 

Just like that, the rest of their time together was spent planning for Seungcheol's trip to Los Angeles. Hansol wrote English sentences to help Seungcheol, getting deeply into it that he continued mumbling the language under his breath. No one else could understand him but they just let him be, planning other things instead such as cramming as many outings as they could before his flight. 

Doyoon was in the middle of explaining why they should all go to Disneyland when Seungcheol felt his phone vibrate. Rolling his eyes at how absorbed Chan looked, he pulled out his phone, smiling when he saw who was flooding him with messages.

From: Won
Three more exams and i can sleep!!
I feel like i did okay in the exam
But T.T 
HOLD ON
WHAT'S THIS MESSAGE FROM SEUNGKWAN?!?!?
is this for real??!
You're going to L.A?!?!
AND BECAUSE OF YOUR THESIS????
YOU DIDNT NEARLY DIE FROM NOTHING THEN!
i am so proud!!
You need to tell me everything!
But after my exams T.T 

Hansol gently nudged him. "Hyung?" He asked, looking at the phone.
Seungcheol nodded, smiling widely. "Yeah. The two of you reacted very similarly."
"It's a brother thing. You and Doyoon hyung do it too." 
"Did you just call him Doyoon?" Seungcheol asked, eyebrows raising. 

Hansol didn't answer anymore and went back to his writing. Seungcheol laughed, ruffling the other's hair and sending Doyoon a discreet wink to which the other winked back. 

To: Won
It's a date then. :) 
--
Seungcheol knew that it was the end for undergrad finals when he woke up one day and the apartment smelled like a restaurant. Jun had this habit of cooking whenever he was in a mood, whether good or bad. Seungcheol hummed as he went out of his room, preparing himself for either reactions. 

"Seungcheol hyung, morning!" Jun greeted with a wide smile. Finals went great then. 
Seungcheol nodded, relieved that things went well. "Morning. So what's on our menu today?" 
"Well, there's-" Jun was cut off when their doorbell rang. 
The older looked at their clock. "Huh, it's early. Did you invite anyone?" 

Jun just smiled sheepishly at him, shrugging just as the sound of their door opening could be heard. Seungcheol ventured out to see the rest of their group piling in their doorway. Wonwoo was holding up the spare key that he had given the younger before. Seungcheol chuckled, rolling his eyes;he knew that Wonwoo could easily pick the lock anyway. Seungkwan immediately launched into a rant about how difficult his exams were, siding up to the oldest to hug him. Seungcheol nodded, rubbing the younger's back as he watched Seokmin walk past him, no doubt to start eating through what Jun had prepared. Minghao was there as well, bowing politely to Seungcheol as he headed over to Jun. Hansol and Wonwoo were trying to arrange the shoes but quickly gave up on it and walked to the living room. Within a matter of minutes, everyone had settled in and had started eating. 

"Neither Jun nor I would be doing the dishes." Seungcheol announced in the midst of their meal. "He already cooked and I didn't invite any of you kids over." 
"Seungkwan and I will be doing the dishes, hyung. No worries." Seokmin answered, stealing some of his boyfriend's meat.
Seungkwan gave him a look but moved his plate closer. "Jun hyung invited us since you didn't! How could you, hyung?! You're going to L.A and we should celebrate!" 
"Congratulations, Seungcheol hyung." Minghao said quietly. 
"Thank you, Minghao." Seungcheol replied, ruffling the younger's hair. 
"Congratulations, appa!" Seokmin and Seungkwan chorused, nearly toppling their plates to hug the oldest. 
Seungcheol laughed, mostly at Jun's panicked expression as he returned the hug. "Thanks, Seungkwan, Seokmin."

Hansol merely watched on, content on eating but he sat closer than usual to Seungcheol. The oldest smiled, leaning on the younger as they continued to chat. Wonwoo and Jun were talking about a trip they would all be going in within a few weeks. Doyoon had apparently suggested that they go to Haeundae and the rest had agreed without even asking Seungcheol. 

"You just need to show up, hyung. Doyoon hyung and Jun hyung would be the drivers so you'll have nothing to do." Seokmin explained.
Seungkwan nodded. "We'll take care of the snacks as well."
"You guys could have at least asked me! What if I had plans on that day?" Seungcheol huffed.
Hansol chuckled. "Oh, please. You have no plans with devil hyung."
"And you have no plans with me." Wonwoo added with a smirk. "That means you are absolutely free that day." 
"I do hang out with other people." Seungcheol retorted.
Jun rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure you don't. You kept on whining that you felt so alone during our exams." 
"Thanks for throwing me under the bus, Junhui." 
"Anything for you." 

Doyoon showed up a little later, groaning loudly before tackling Seungcheol onto the floor. Seungcheol shoved him off before handing him something to eat. He caught Wonwoo watching them more than once and even taking some pictures of the two of them playing around. He guessed that things really were just like before. 

Maybe everything was just on a loop then. 
--
There was an argument regarding which movie to watch, Seungkwan and Seokmin wanting to watch two different things which made things even more difficult and Doyoon egging both of them on wasn't helping at all. Seungcheol had given up on playing referee for them and had leaned back on the couch to wait for the results. He closed his eyes, praying that the argument would end quickly. Suddenly, he felt the couch dip, cracking an eye open to see Wonwoo occupying the spot beside him. Seungcheol hummed, making more room for the younger as he automatically put an arm behind Wonwoo. 

"Hi." Wonwoo whispered, drawing shapes on Seungcheol's stomach.
Seungcheol chuckled, opening his eyes fully. "Hi. Bet you're glad that finals are over."
"Of course I am! It's so nice to wake up in my bed without any books on top of me." 
"I told you studying on your bed is useless. You end up just sleeping." 
"I was just reviewing my notes." Wonwoo suddenly pinched his stomach. "Yah, don't think I've let you off the hook. Why did I have to find out through Seungkwan about L.A?" 
Seungcheol frowned, rubbing where he was pinched. "That hurt. And of course, I know I'm not off the hook. I just... didn't know how to tell you."
"What about 'Wonwoo, I'm going to L.A because my thesis was so amazing'?" Wonwoo said in a poor imitation of Seungcheol's voice.
"I don't sound like that at all." Seungcheol said, laughing simply because it's Wonwoo. 
Wonwoo huffed. "You get my point." 
Seungcheol sighed, a fond smile gracing his lips just like always. "Give me 20 minutes to get ready and we could go on that date." 
"Make it 15 and I want a burger." Wonwoo said with a bright smile. 
"You and your burgers." Seungcheol rolled his eyes, getting off the couch before heading to the bathroom.

He could hear Minghao asking where Seungcheol had gone and Wonwoo explaining the situation. Doyoon answered with a simple 'of course' in that tone that implied he knew more than he was letting on. Seungcheol made a mental note to hit Doyoon but that was pushed back into the corner of his mind when he remembered their previous conversation. 

If he was going to tell Wonwoo how he felt, today was the best time to do it. He sighed again as he stepped out of the shower. He had known Wonwoo the longest, could tell how the younger felt without even asking but this. This was something else. He knew that Wonwoo wouldn't hate him; that's just not something Wonwoo would ever feel despite the justifications for the said emotion. What he couldn't be certain of was how the confession would change things between them. He only had so little time before he was set to go to L.A; could he really risk Wonwoo avoiding him for that long? 

The obvious answer to that was no and Seungcheol was determined to just keep it to himself and then he saw Wonwoo again. The younger's head was thrown back in laughter at something Minghao had said. The light from the window was hitting him just right, framing the younger's head in a sort of halo. Seungcheol could feel his heart grow fuller, filling up his chest as the butterflies in his stomach continued to flutter. 

He was so in love with Wonwoo that it felt like he was being consumed by it. 

His gaze met Doyoon's,an understanding passing between the two of them. Doyoon smiled encouragingly, mouthing a 'fighting' at the older before nudging Wonwoo. The latter quickly turned to Seungcheol, grin widening just a bit, just enough to make Seungcheol feel even warmer. It was so overwhelming in its simplicity. 

"Let's go?" Seungcheol asked, voice a little hoarse. 
Seungkwan snorted. "You okay, hyung? Did you cry in the shower?" 
"Leave him alone, Boo." Doyoon answered. "Let's just watch your stupid movie." 
Seokmin laughed at his boyfriend's betrayed expression. "You don't stand a chance against the dream team." 
"What dream team? Anyway, I didn't cry. I must be coming down with something." Seungcheol said, pulling Wonwoo up before anyone could say anything else. 

Seokmin then began telling of the different shenanigans Doyoon and Seungcheol used to do ever since they were kids. Seungcheol rolled his eyes at the obvious exaggerations while Wonwoo chuckled beside him. The older tugged him forward before things got even more ridiculous but was stopped by Doyoon calling out to Seungcheol.

"Yeah?" Seungcheol said, waving Wonwoo to go ahead.
Doyoon waited until Wonwoo was out the door before speaking. "Call me when the two of you are done talking, okay?"
"Do, I'm not even sure if I could really say it. So I have no idea how long I'm going to be dragging this." 
"Anytime you're done, I'll be there. Just shoot me a message." Doyoon smiled, patting Seungcheol's shoulder. "Now, go. Sweetheart is waiting for you." 
"Not your sweetheart anymore, idiot." Seungcheol grumbled, gently pushing the other away to head for the door. "But,yeah, I will. Thanks, Do." 

Doyoon gave him a two finger salute before turning around and going back to the living room. Seungcheol smiled, gaining a little more courage knowing that after whatever might happen this afternoon, his best friend, his brother would have his back. Maybe Doyoon wasn't that much of an idiot then. 
--
The moment they had started walking, Wonwoo was immediately on him with his different questions. Seungcheol couldn't stop the laughter escaping his lips at the curiosity being directed at him. He stopped laughing at the unamused look being sent to him and started answering Wonwoo's questions sincerely. 

"I don't really know how it happened. Mrs. Kang just approached me after my presentation and said that there was someone who was very interested in my work. Then she introduced me to Professor Tomlinson. He was born and raised in England but moved to America for his job. He said he was willing to have me as his intern for a year. I'm not sure but he was hinting that I could have a job there even afterwards." Seungcheol narrated, the same feeling of excitement running through him as when he first talked to the English prof. 
Wonwoo whistled, eyebrows raising. "Look at you, getting all known everywhere. That's great, Cheol! When are you leaving?" 
"About a month after graduation. I still have to arrange all my paperwork and Mr. Tomlinson is still considering another student to be his intern too. Minji noona? I think I've told you about her. I hope she gets chosen as well. It would be nice to have a familiar face there." 
"Oh yeah, I remember noona. Yeah, I hope she gets chosen too. She's immune to your charms as well so she can take good care of you too."
"Immune to my charms,psh. More like she doesn't take from anyone." Seungcheol scoffed, rolling his eyes.
Wonwoo laughed. "Same thing but less blunt. But for real, I hope she can get chosen. That's such a great opportunity for the two of you." 
"It is." Seungcheol smiled. "What about you? Your exams went well?" 
"Of course. Hansol was reviewing with me, remember? He wouldn't even leave me alone during our meals." Wonwoo said, pouting at the memory. 
Seungcheol laughed, imagining the scene all too well. "It is Hansol after all. Hopefully, he'll be too busy with Chan next school year to bother you." 
"Speaking of Chan, has he told you that he's taking up your offer? He and Hansol had a tour in the uni's dorms and neither of them had found a place they agreed on. It was either too small or too far from our place." 
"Nah, he hasn't told me yet but I figured he would agree anyway. I'll start clearing out my things soon then." 
Wonwoo froze a little at that, shuffling just a bit closer to the older. "It's going to be so weird not having you here." 

Seungcheol opened his mouth to answer, his brain pulling up nothing because he simply didn't know what to say to that. It was his first time hearing Wonwoo say anything but positive about his coming departure that he was thrown off guard. Since he didn't know whay to say, Seungcheol just chose to throw an arm around the younger's shoulder, shaking him slightly until Wonwoo cracked a smile. 

Despite the slightly sad start of their afternoon, the day was more fun than anything Seungcheol had in the past few weeks. They hit the arcade after he had bought the burgers that the younger had been whining for. They spent a good couple of hours in the arcade, playing all of the games there at least once. Wonwoo had also insisted they take pictures in the photobooth there, the pictures getting more and more ridiculous that Seungcheol was almost in tears from his laughter. 

It almost felt like a date and Seungcheol guessed that from an outsider's point of view, it might have been. It was a good thing that he had stopped deluding himself so early on. 

"Today was fun, wasn't it?" Wonwoo exclaimed as they took their seats. 
Seungcheol nodded, looking around the coffee shop. "This place hasn't changed much, has it?" 
"Yeah, wow, I remember being so amazed by the fairy lights surrounding the windows when I first came to uni." Wonwoo said, eyes tracing said lights. 

Seungcheol smiled, reminiscing the same thing. It was probably around the first week of uni, one of those rare times that Doyoon wasn't with Wonwoo, when Seungcheol had brought the younger here. He couldn't remember why Doyoon wasn't with them, probably had something to do with Sungyeol or something but Seungcheol was grateful for whatever it was. Wonwoo was enthralled at everything Seoul had to offer and was constantly asking his then boyfriend and Seungcheol for tours. Doyoon had mostly said no but Seungcheol promised to take him on one when the other wasn't around. The coffee shop was just new then, only a few curious students trying it out when Seungcheol and Wonwoo had stumbled upon it. Wonwoo had gasped at the beautiful lights displayed and practically begged the older if they could eat there. Since Seungcheol was a er for Wonwoo's sad face, he had said yes. 

It was then that he realized that he would probably be always in love with the beautiful boy watching the lights with a sort of innocent curiosity that was so hard to find these days. He had tried stopping it; Wonwoo was Doyoon's, his best friend's, his brother's, boyfriend afterall. He knew that Doyoon knew but hadn't told him to stay away, hadn't hated him. And that just made him feel even worse, made him feel like he really didn't deserve his best friend. 

It was years ago but the same thumping of his heart was resounding loudly in his ears. Wonwoo still looked beautiful, maybe even more so, under these lights. Seungcheol was still enthralled, rendered breathless by the sight. 

"Hey, Wonwoo." Seungcheol called out softly.
The younger hummed, turning his head to look at him. "Yeah, what is it?"
"I love you." The words felt like silk, slipping past his mouth so smoothly, so easily. It must be because he had been wanting to say those words for so long now. 
Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. "Are you turning all soft on me now, Cheol? I mean, I love-"
Seungcheol shook his head, wanting to make sure that the other understood him clearly. "No, Won. I love you." He said it more passionately this time, sincerity coating his voice and words. 
Wonwoo blinked at him, blinks becoming slower and more deliberate as understanding dawned on him. "Oh." 
"Yeah,oh." Seungcheol chuckled though his hands were shaking. "B-bet you didn't expect that at all, did you?" 
Wonwoo shook his head timidly, opening and closing his mouth before finally coming up with something to say. "How long?" 

Seungcheol frowned, memorizing and hating that tone. It was Wonwoo's tone when he thought that he had done something wrong, when he felt immensely guilty. He almost called him out on it, the scolding edging at the tip of his tongue when he met the younger's eyes. There was guilt, yes but there was also a quiet insistence there. Wonwoo wanted answers and he wouldn't take to being babied before he got them. 

"Even before Doyoon." Seungcheol whispered, throat tightening at the admission. 
Wonwoo gasped, voice shaky as he continued asking. "F-for that long? What? How...? Did.. did Do..?"
"Did Doyoon know?" Seungcheol completed for him. "Yeah, he did. He's my best friend so he's obviously pick up signs." 
"Oh." Wonwoo said quietly.

The older raised his head, seeing how Wonwoo seemed to hunch in closer to himself. Seungcheol had always hated the younger's poker face. Usually when he had that expression, there was some clue to why he was shielding himself from the outside. But now, it was hard to guess since he was the reason why Wonwoo was using it. Seungcheol racked his brain for what he could do because he hated that he brought this upon the younger. 

"Please don't pull that face on me. Please." Seungcheol pleaded, not knowing what to say so he opted for the truth. "I know you probably hate me but please don't close yourself off from me." 
Wonwoo frowned. "I don't hate you, Cheol. Why would I? I just..I don't get what's happening." 
"You do tend to be ignorant to when someone likes you, Won. It's not that surprising." 
"But.. it's you. It's different." Wonwoo grumbled, lips tugging down into a frown. 

If it was before, Seungcheol would have deluded himself that Wonwoo meant that he was special, someone that he could have a shot with dating the younger. But of course, nothing had changed. 

Wonwoo's heart was still occupied by someone else, someone that wasn't Seungcheol. It would never be him. 

He had always known that but now he accepted it. 

"Stop frowning, Jeon. Your face is going to freeze like that." Seungcheol said lightly, pleased with himself for being able to do so. He reached forward, flicking the younger's forehead. "I wasn't planning on confessing to you, especially with me leaving for L.A so soon but Doyoon insisted on it. I don't know why because I honestly feel like I'm choking on every word I'm saying but the ball is rolling yeah?"
"Seungcheol?" Wonwoo asked, rubbing his forehead. 
"I don't know if I should tell you why I love you because I'm sure you've heard it all from Doyoon and from Mingyu, how sweet you are, how beautiful you are, how cute you can be without even knowing. There's nothing new for me to say at all." Seungcheol rambled on, unable to stop himself. "I guess the only new thing I could add to that is that I love how strong you are. Remember when Doyoon left you? You keep thanking me and Jun but you stood up on your own. Okay, maybe it was Hansol too. But that was your conscious decision to befriend and take care of him." Seungcheol paused, catching his breath before smiling at Wonwoo. "You are such a strong person, Won." 
"Seungcheol..." 
"You don't have to say anything about my confession. I guess you could say I'd rather you didn't. If you don't say anything, that means you're neither rejecting nor accepting me. As cowardly as it sounds, I'd rather have that than be rejected." 
"I'm sorry. It must have been hard for you... You were my best friend and I told you everything, about Doyoon, about Mingyu! I'm so sorry for being so stupid!" Wonwoo exclaimed, nearly hitting his head on the table as he bowed. 
Seungcheol swallowed thickly, unable to deny how hard it was to hear those things. "Yah, what do you mean by were? I'm still your best friend, idiot." He tapped Wonwoo's shoulder. "Come on. Stop that. Sit up straight. Please." 
It took a few seconds of coaxing but eventually, Wonwoo did and Seungcheol could see some stray tears that had fallen from the other's eyes. 
"Idiot, don't cry." Seungcheol said softly. "Do you want to know what's my favorite Wonwoo? My all time favorite Wonwoo is when you're smiling so brightly with your cheeks flushed very prettily. Your eyes would be shining at something Hansol said or these days, something Mingyu did. But whatever the reason, your eyes would be crinkled at the sides as your smile continued to grow. I didn't think there were any luminescent humans but during those times, you would be shining." Seungcheol finished, opening his eyes. He had unknowingly closed them as he described, the picture vividly being played by his mind. 
"That was..." Wonwoo started, shaking his head as words failed him. 
"Very cheesy." Seungcheol laughed nervously. He cleared his throat. "But I do mean it, Won. I'm not going to be here longer, for a while anyway. I don't want one of my last memories of you crying because of me." 

Despite what he had said, Seungcheol felt like he was going to cry very soon. It was so easy yet so difficult to come clean to Wonwoo. It was like all of the emotions that he had bottled up inside were threatening to break free and it was too much, too overwhelming. With shaky hands, he pulled out his phone to text Doyoon. It was for times like this that he was glad that they had a code because he couldn't text more than one character.
"You're asking Doyoon to pick you up, aren't you?" Wonwoo said as he eyed the phone on the table. 
Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. "That obvious?" 
"Doyoon used to do that when Sungyeol hyung made us go on weird events." Wonwoo exhaled. "Seungcheol, I just... I guess I should say thank you. It must have been so difficult staying by my side but you did. And I'll be forever grateful for that." 
Seungcheol felt some of his tears slip at that and he quickly wiped them away. "Ugh, look what you did. You made me cry." He teased even though there was obviously some truth in there. He continued to speak before Wonwoo could further look into it. "Besides, I'm glad I was your best friend. There are certain things that only I was able to experience because I'm your best friend, certain memories that are limited to just the two of us. I know some things that Doyoon didn't because of who you see me as. I'm not going to lie it's not ideal but it's not a bad deal either. I'm thankful for you too." 

Wonwoo looked unsure if should comfort Seungcheol as more tears slipped down the older's cheeks and Seungcheol was grateful for that. He might actually breakdown if the younger so much as touched him. It was that overwhelming. Luckily, there wasn't much of a chance when the familiar honk of Doyoon's car rang in the air. The two of them peeked outside, watching as Doyoon parked the car but made no move to head inside the coffee shop. 

"Why does he have to be considerate now of all times?" Seungcheol grumbled just as the food they had ordered arrived. Seungcheol quickly pulled out his wallet, handing Wonwoo some bills before he stood up with an apologetic smile. He just couldn't hold himself together anymore. "Call Mingyu to pick you up, okay?" 
"Seungcheol, I'm..." Wonwoo started, eyes becoming watery again.
"If it's another apology, then no." Seungcheol smiled weakly. "I don't want that from you, never from you. Our friendship wasn't something to be sorry for. It's the longest relationship both of us has had." Seungcheol's voice broke as he said 'relationship' and he had to clear his throat twice before he could speak again. He leaned forward, placing a lingering kiss on Wonwoo's forehead, exhaling shakily. "I have loved you the longest even though you were never mine." 
--
Doyoon finally got out of the car once Seungcheol was out of the coffee shop. Without a word, he opened the door for the passenger side, herding the older inside. Seungcheol saw Doyoon wave weakly at Wonwoo before getting in the car and driving away. They had barely moved away from the establishment when Seungcheol started crying, sobs ripping out from inside of him as he kept on asking why. Why couldn't Wonwoo love him instead? It was a question he constantly asked himself but there hadn't been any answers. It probably just wasn't meant to be. 

Seungcheol had no idea how long they had been driving around when Doyoon handed him a handkerchief. He sniffed, taking it carefully. 

"Text Mingyu to pick up Won, would you?" Seungcheol asked, voice rough from all the crying he had done. 
Doyoon hummed. "Maybe later." 
"Doyoon." Seungcheol hissed. 
"Won can handle himself, Cheol. Let's dote on you for a change, yeah?" Doyoon said lightly, throwing a playful smile in his direction. 
"Doyoon, what if something happens to Wonwoo there?!"
"What could possibly happen to Won in a coffee shop in the university when it's not even late at night yet?" Doyoon exclaimed, voice rising as well. "Seungcheol, you have been taking care of Wonwoo for so long now so please, just let me be your best friend and take care of you and your broken heart."
Seungcheol gawked at Doyoon. Somehow when he had imagined getting the guts to confess to Wonwoo, he imagined the other laughing as Wonwoo reject him but of course he should have known better. "When the did you grow up?" Seungcheol said, wiping his eyes one more time as be punched the other's shoulder. 
Doyoon whined but it was obviously fake. He grinned as he took a hasty U turn, ignoring the blaring honks from the other cars. "Not that grown up yet. Let's get smashed tonight, Cheol!" 
"Please let that be in the bar and not in the road." Seungcheol groaned, strapping on his seatbelt. 
Doyoon's resounding laughter echoed throughout their drive to the bar, making Seungcheol feel a tad bit better.

It wasn't in his plan to confess to Wonwoo, not then and not now but it did make him feel lighter. He was grateful that Doyoon had pushed him into doing this, not that he would ever tell the other. It made him feel like he had closed that part of his life along with his collegiate days. Not the whole being friends with Wonwoo, that would never go away, but pining after him for so long was more exhausting than imaginable. That was done and so, maybe, just maybe, L.A could open new doors for him. 
~
A.N: so here is the chapter for Seungcheol. I honestly dont know how to feel about this chapter probably because I'm a bit sad and pissed off the moment. SSighs 

Updates were late because I have decided to further my studies so that means I am in school yet again. 

Hopefully better update and better author's note next chapter. I'm sorry for being ty rn u.u 

Leave me something to read on the comments? XX love you all x