Soonyoung wondered if he had gone overboard and had been too dramatic when he broke just about every traffic law on his Ferrari. He side-eyed his boyfriend, seeing how tightly Jihoon was gripping the seatbelt. He was about to slow down when he remembered Jihoon breaking the glass he was holding on purpose and that made him go even faster. 

"Slow the down, Soonyoung. We're going to get in an accident." Jihoon hissed. Normally it would have made him listen and slow down but not today.

Soonyoung just stepped on the gas, anger blurring along with the road. "Wow and now you care if you got hurt?!"

Something in his tone must have given away how he felt because Jihoon just knew. He always did. "Kwon Soonyoung, stop this car right now!" 

Just like what Jihoon said, Soonyoung stepped on the brakes abruptly, making the car drift a bit before actually stopping. He quickly looked at his boyfriend and saw how frightened Jihoon had been. Even then with anger running through him, it was a scene that Soonyoung never wanted to see. And he was the cause of it.

"." Soonyoung cursed under his breath, hitting the steering wheel with his fists before storming out of the car. 

Soonyoung breathed in deeply in hopes of clearing his mind but it wasn't helping. He glanced over the tire tracks on the road and a cold feeling washed over him as he realized just how fast he was going. What if they had gotten in an accident? He would have Mingyu and Jihoon's accident on his conscience no matter what. He clenched his fists tightly, trying to wipe the image of Jihoon, so small, so fragile in a hospital bed. 

There were footsteps approaching him and he knew even without looking that it was his boyfriend, the sound of the other's feet an all too familiar rhythm in his ears.

"Soonyoung..." Jihoon called out and Soonyoung could hear the caution in it. Jihoon knew he was mad then. Good.

"Don't Soonyoung me. What the hell, Jihoon? I know you're upset but still." Soonyoung hissed, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"I know but you don't have to be this mad about it." Jihoon retorted. 

"Lee Jihoon, you ing dropped a glass on your foot just because Doyoon was getting close to Mingyu!"

"What was I supposed to do?! Throw the ing glass at them?!"

"What about calling their names?! Ever thought of that, Mr.Smarty pants?!"

"Like hell I would call that bastard's name!" 

Soonyoung clenched his fists, voice becoming cold. "I know you're upset of Doyoon partly because of me and partly because of Mingyu but I don't ing care. You don't do anything to hurt yourself. And that's that."

 It was honestly what made Soonyoung so mad. He knew that his boyfriend was trying to be a good hyung to Mingyu and a good friend to Wonwoo but there could have been other ways of doing it. How was Jihoon getting hurt beneficial to anyone? If anything, even Soonyoung was getting pissed off at Mingyu and Doyoon.

"I will do what I have to do to make sure that this idiot" he said while pointing at Mingyu. "Doesn't fall for that bastard."

"Just learn to trust Mingyu for 's sake." Soonyoung groaned. It was the sole reason that he hadn't punched the younger; Mingyu might be a bit slow but he wasn't stupid. He knew that the moment Mingyu saw Wonwoo, everything would be all back to normal again. 

"My boyfriend was one of the worst players; screw me if I have trust issues." Jihoon answered back. 

And there it was. That was the real reason Jihoon was so mad at Doyoon and it was all Soonyoung's fault. It felt like a stab to his heart and Soonyoung couldn't help but wince slightly. Jihoon was looking at him guiltily and somehow it made the pain worse. Jihoon knew that would hurt him but he still said it. Soonyoung slowly turned his back on his boyfriend, body tensing up. He wanted to release the frustration, anger and hurt he felt but not now, not to Jihoon. Soonyoung wasn't sure what he would do and even at that state, he still prioritized Jihoon's welfare. 

"I need to go. I need time. I need distance." Jihoon said, a hint of desperation in his voice but Soonyoung was sure he was the only that could hear it. He could feel the eyes on his back but he stood his ground and didn't turn around. It wasn't even like Soonyoung could stop him from leaving even if he tried.

Soonyoung could hear Jihoon and Mingyu's exchange but he didn't try to say anything else anymore. He was suddenly feeling tired, so tired of this. He knew better than anyone how stubborn his boyfriend could and it wasn't even like Jihoon wasn't right, even just a bit. 

"Jihoon, stop it." Soonyoung said, body itching to face his boyfriend but he held back. 

The eyes on him were back but he still held back. Soonyoung mentally counted how long it took for Jihoon to give up and leave. Three hundred forty one beats. That was the time it took for his boyfriend to drive away. With Jihoon gone, Soonyoung didn't stop himself anymore from looking over the direction his boyfriend had gone to. Even just a few seconds later, he already missed Jihoon, already wanted to hold the other in his arms. There was still a tiredness in his body that only Jihoon could remove. 

"Hyung,I-" Mingyu started. 

"Save it." Soonyoung cut him off, sighing as he looked at the road. It didn't look like Jihoon was coming back for them so that left with one option. "Let's go. It's quite a walk and I want to get started."

"Where are we going?"

"The hyungs' place of course."

--

Soonyoung honestly wanted to go to Jisoo and Junghan's place because if there was someone that Jihoon would open up to, it would be Junghan. A part of him even expected that his boyfriend would open the door for them and he had to swallow down the disappointment he felt when he saw that it was just Junghan. The anger that he had felt earlier was gone and worry took it place. Jihoon wasn't used to driving around since Soonyoung was a willing chauffer and voluntarily drove his boyfriend to wherever he needed to go. There was also the part wherein Jihoon usually did stupid things when he was mad and right now, Soonyoung didn't know what his boyfriend was feeling. Soonyoung felt his hope increase when their hyung said that Jihoon did text him, only for it to die down when Junghan said that he didn't know where Jihoon was. 

Instead of thinking more about it, he had asked for the guest room with the intention of taking a nap and letting his mind rest as well, not that it worked. The moment he was in the room, Soonyoung quickly called Jihoon, pacing around when he got no answer. He kept trying though and the more he didn't get any answers, the more worried he got. 

"Jihoon, where are you?" Soonyoung groaned, flopping down on the bed.

He scrunched up his nose at the unfamiliar scent the pillows had. Soonyoung was already used to the scent of the fabric conditioner that Jihoon used often. He remembered how he had whined when they ran out of that fabric conditioner and they had to use plain old detergent. Jihoon had called him a picky dog but it was the first thing he bought when they next went grocery shopping. 

It was such a small thing but it was in those little actions that Soonyoung knew Jihoon loved him. His boyfriend was a little bit like Mingyu when it came to expressing their feelings and the difficulty they faced in doing so but it wasn't like Soonyoung wanted Jihoon to change. He loved Jihoon exactly the way he was and wouldn't trade him for the world. And by the look of things, Wonwoo felt the same way. 

"Stupid Mingyu." Soonyoung muttered, rolling around the bed. 

He kept staring at his phone, waiting for Jihoon to call him back or at least text him but there was nothing. His fingers hovered the activation button for the tracker that he had placed on his boyfriend's phone. The whole idea actually started out as a joke; Soonyoung had bought it on the grounds that someone could kidnap Jihoon and he wouldn't be able to find him. Everyone had found it ridiculous except for Jihoon. His boyfriend had said yes to it, the tracker getting placed in his phone the next day. Soonyoung chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if he should activate it or not. He sighed, tapping through his phone before getting up and making his way to the kitchen.

To: My Fairy, Jihoonie

Text me back at least. 

I miss you, baby.

Send me a sign you're okay

Love you. Always. 

--

Soonyoung's head was slightly throbbing as he made his way to their condominium unit. He had drank majority of the alcohol Jisoo had provided and even when Mingyu and Jisoo said he had enough, he still continued to drink. He was starting to regret it now though. His head hurt, his vision was spinning and he was about to vomit. Soonyoung made a mental note not to get this wasted ever again. 

"Jihoon?" Soonyoung called out as he got inside. 

There was no reply and Soonyoung couldn't help but frown at the silence and darkness that greeted him. After throwing up in the bathroom, he made his way to their shared room, curling up in Jihoon's spot. It had that scent from his boyfriend but it wasn't enough; he wanted Jihoon to be the one holding him, lecturing him about his stupidity and then placing a kiss on his forehead as he told Soonyoung that he might be an idiot but he was Jihoon's idiot. He closed his eyes as he imagined Jihoon doing just that and before he knew it, he was asleep. 

When Soonyoung woke up, there was a bitter taste in his mouth which must be from vomiting earlier. He sat up slowly, careful not to bring the dizziness back as he tried to listen for any indication that Jihoon was home. There was still nothing. With a deep sigh, Soonyoung heaved himself off the bed, looking for an aspirin and found it with a note that said 'You're an idiot. Feel better, pabo.' Soonyoung actually cracked a smile, downing the aspirin quickly as he read and reread the note; placing notes randomly was Jihoon's thing especially if he knew Soonyoung would be the one to find it. The thought of his boyfriend writing this made Soonyoung miss Jihoon even more and he had half of his mind made up to activate the tracker to locate Wonwoo's place but he figured he'd wait a bit more. 

--

Five hours later and there was still no message from Jihoon and Soonyoung was starting to feel annoyed along with his worrying. His boyfriend knew that he would be extremely worried but he was still acting like this. He could just text Mingyu and ask where his boyfriend lived but he knew that the younger had some thinking to do. He had seen how glazed Mingyu's eyes were as they left and knew that some sense had finally made their way through to him. He sighed again, running a hand through his hair as he activated the tracker. 

Wonwoo lived relatively close by, just about twenty minutes from their place and Soonyoung was mentally berating himself for not doing this earlier and just save himself the trouble. He opted to walk to the apartment instead of riding his bike; he didn't need to risk getting caught over speeding and somehow, he could see Jihoon's bothered face. Jihoon never did like his bike. He was too busy thinking about Jihoon that he didn't notice he was already at Wonwoo's unit. He took a deep breath before knocking. If his boyfriend didn't want him here then he should have said something.

"Oh, hey, Soonyoung. I was expecting you but I didn't actually believe you would show up?" Wonwoo said, looking a bit dumbstrucked. 

Soonyoung smiled a bit, stepping inside. "Did Jihoon say I'd be here?"

"Yeah actually." The other smiled. "You guys are so... in touch with each other I guess."

Soonyoung scoffed. "In touch. Right. I just used the tracker on his phone."

"Tracker?" The taller rolled his eyes. "Of course you have a tracker on his phone."

"It helps when my boyfriend doesn't want to be found." Soonyoung shrugged.

Wonwoo leaned in closely, whispering. "Jihoon cried so it's a good thing you're here. Just wanted you to know."

Soonyoung's eyes widened and it took all of his willpower not to storm inside to look for Jihoon. Wonwoo nodded understandingly at him, leading the way inside. Jihoon was curled up on the couch, looking very forlorn as Hansol rubbed his back.

"Hands off my boyfriend. Please." Soonyoung said as he walked closer. "I know you're Wonwoo's brother of sorts but I don't appreciate anyone touching Jihoon."

Hansol nodded, getting up with one last pat on Jihoon's head. "No need to get territorial, hyper hyung." He glanced at Wonwoo. "Uhm, I'll be in my room?"

Soonyoung felt a hand on his shoulder, turning around to see Wonwoo smiling at him. "I'll leave you two alone."

"No! Don't go." Jihoon exclaimed, reaching out to grab the hem of Wonwoo's shirt. 

"What?" Soonyoung raised an eyebrow. 

Wonwoo chuckled, shrugging as he pried Jihoon's fingers off. "Only Mingyu can grab me,sorry. Talk this out."

Soonyoung was too busy processing that Jihoon had reached out to grab someone that wasn't him to notice Wonwoo leaving the two of them. Once he got over the shock, he made his way closer to his boyfriend, frowning when Jihoon shied away from his hand. Carefully, Soonyoung placed an arm around Jihoon's shoulders. It was loose and easy to shrug off if the other wanted to. Luckily, it wasn't what happened. Jihoon slowly inched closer until he could lean his head in the crook of Soonyoung's neck. Soonyoung let out a sigh of relief as he placed a kiss on the other's forehead. 

"You grabbed Wonwoo." Soonyoung murmured. He knew that if he didn't ask, the curiosity would kill him and he didn't want to think of the things he could come up with if his imagination ran wild.

Jihoon nodded, slightly pulling back to look up at his boyfriend. "He's so much like a brother. Don't get jealous, Youngie."

Soonyoung bit his lower lip. Jihoon didn't use that nickname often because it was too cutesy for him. It sort of made him worry that his boyfriend was using it now. "Do you want to go home, baby? I mean we can talk here but I'd rather do it at our place."

He felt Jihoon wince, grabbing fistfuls of Soonyoung's shirt but Jihoon managed a nod. "Can we say goodbye to Wonwoo and Hansol first?"

Soonyoung nodded as well, pulling Jihoon up with him. They found Hansol and Wonwoo playing their guitars in the younger's room and Soonyoung had a feeling that his boyfriend would be spending a lot of time here in the future. Jihoon quietly said goodbye, thanking the two of them in an almost shy manner. Soonyoung nodded at Hansol, pulling Wonwoo aside to properly thank him. Wonwoo had shrugged off his thanks, claiming that it was nothing at all. 

The drive back to their unit was quiet. It was the kind of silence that was loaded with unasked questions, unsaid words and Soonyoung felt weirded out by the whole thing. He had never been shy to Jihoon about anything so there was never any uncomfortable silence and a part of him wanted to just drop the whole thing and go back to how they were. But he knew that Wonwoo was right; they needed to talk this out or nothing would get fixed. 

"I'm sorry I didn't answer your calls." Jihoon whispered. 

Soonyoung glanced at him, sighing when he felt himself start to melt already. "I won't say it's okay because it's not and you know that, Jihoon."

"I know. I'm sorry." The other mumbled. 

Soonyoung frowned at the road. This was so unlike Jihoon and he was getting very worried. 

"Soonyoung?"

" Yes, Jihoon?"

"C-can I hold your hand?"

 The question was so sudden that Soonyoung swerved a bit, glad that there wasn't another car nearby. They stopped at the crossing, the red light illuminating Soonyoung's worried face. He looked over to Jihoon who was looking at him sadly, like he had already answered no to the request. Soonyoung sighed again, grabbing Jihoon's hand, lacing their hands together as he started the car again.

"You're my boyfriend; you can hold my hand anytime. You don't need to ask." Soonyoung said gently.

He felt Jihoon's grip tighten. "I wasn't sure if you'd want me to. "

"I'd always want you." Soonyoung said, smiling a bit as he placed a kiss on his boyfriend's knuckles. 

It was the truth. No matter what happened, Soonyoung would always want and love Jihoon.

--

Jihoon sat at the center of their bed, curled up into a ball with the blankets pulled up to his head. Soonyoung felt Jihoon's eyes on him as he moved around their room. He had taken a shower when they got home, wanting to talk about it already but not completely ready for it as well. Jihoon had opted to go to their room and for some reason, Soonyoung knew that his boyfriend hadn't moved since he got here. 

"You're so far away." Jihoon said quietly. 

Soonyoung cracked a smile before climbing the bed. "You could have come get me, you know."

"I'm not sure if you'd want me to." 

"That again?" Soonyoung sighed, leaning his forehead on Jihoon's. "Babe, I will always always want you."

"Even after what I said?" 

"Yeah, even then." He placed another kiss on Jihoon's forehead. "We need to talk about that properly, Jihoon. We can't just drop it."

Jihoon made a small sound of protest before Soonyoung tugged him closer, lying down carefully. He had planned on making this a serious talk but he couldn't stand seeing Jihoon this upset as well. This would have to do. 

"Jihoon, anything you want to say first?" Soonyoung said.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to and I know that I hurt you. I'm such a bad boyfriend, Youngie! I can't believe I said that even after all you've done and saying that in front of Mingyu is even worse!" Jihoon exclaimed, breaking into sobs halfway through.

It broke Soonyoung's heart watching so he pulled his boyfriend closer, arms tight around the smaller lad. "Sshh, baby."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Jihoon said repeatedly. 

Soonyoung sighed deeply, hands making circles on Jihoon's back. He let the other cry it out, eyes closing as he willed himself not to cry. He had never been the one to comfort someone especially Jihoon since the other was such a strong willed person so being in this position with his boyfriend crying in his arms was way beyond what he can do. Soonyoung whispered nonsensical but comforting things and it seemed to work since Jihoon started to slowly calm down until he was reduced to hiccups. 

"Are you okay now, baby?" Soonyoung asked carefully. 

"Yeah." Jihoon said hoarsely. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "I'm okay now."

"Okay." Soonyoung gave the other a light squeeze. He had thought of what he would say and he knew he had to be careful of what words he would use or Jihoon would get hurt. "Babe, I have something to say so listen first."

"Alright." 

Soonyoung took a deep breath before he spoke. "I'm getting tired of this, Jihoonie. Like you said, you know it would hurt me but you still said it. I think that's what hurts me the most. You know and you still said it." He sighed a bit as Jihoon stiffened. "Everyone has a bad history that they would rather not bring up and me being a player is mine. That was a long time ago and I've changed. I always put you first and I honestly don't know what else what you want me to do for me to prove that. It's getting tiring to be honest."

Jihoon slowly sat up, eyes watery again as he looked at Soonyoung. "You're right. You must be so tired doing this for me all the time."

"Yeah..?" Soonyoung asked confusedly. He had expected a bit of arguing before he could get the message across.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave as soon as I can." Jihoon gave him a quick peck before dashing out of the room. 

Soonyoung blinked, frowning as what his boyfriend said sank in. He heaved a deep sigh, getting up slowly. He headed to the guest room where they kept their luggage. Jihoon was pulling out his bag, flitting back to their room as he grabbed some things. Soonyoung just sat there on the bed, watching while his boyfriend started packing. Clothes and other things It was a sort of out of body experience and he still wasn't sure if this was really happening. He realized how serious it was as Jihoon started folding the things he gathered and it felt like there was something crushing him. It was getting hard to breathe because what the hell? How could he live without Jihoon? 

"I'll be going now." Jihoon said after he packed up everything. "Uh, thank you for everything, Soonyoung. My one year with you was the best time of life and I'm sorry that I screwed it up."

"What do I do with you?" Soonyoung frowned, quickly getting up and pulling the bags from Jihoon's hand. "What are you doing?"

Jihoon's eyes looked back from the bag to Soonyoung. "I'm leaving. What do you think I'm doing?"

"And why are you leaving? Did I say I wanted you to leave?"

"No but you're too nice to do that, Soonyoung. Of course you wouldn't say that even if that is what you are thinking."

" Oh my God, Jihoon! Are you listening to yourself? How do you know that is what I'm thinking huh?"

"Because why would you want me to stay?! You said it yourself; you're getting tired of this! You're right! You can't keep being the understanding one. All of my faults, you just overlook them!" Jihoon sniffed, angrily wiping at his eyes. "I love you, Soonyoung. I know when to let you go."

"I'm getting tired of fighting with you but not of you." Soonyoung rubbed across his face, fighting the urge to hold the other. Maybe they needed to talk about this seriously after all. "Jihoon, I love you more than anything in this world. I don't mind being understanding because it's for you. I'm willing to do anything for you."

Jihoon shook his head, smiling sadly as he pulled on the bag. "It's not you; it's me."

"What kind of bull is that?!" Soonyoung exclaimed, pulling the bag away. 

"I'm so insecure, Soonyoung. I know you love me but I don't know if it will ever be enough. I look at you and see someone that everyone wants to be with. No matter how many times you tell me you love me, there's still doubt lingering in me. I can't expect you to always take care and assure me. You'll eventually grow to hate me and my insecurities." Jihoon answered sadly. He leaned up, kissing Soonyoung's cheek. "I love you that's why I'm doing this. Maybe I need to love myself as well."

Soonyoung pulled Jihoon closer, bringing his boyfriend's hand to his cheek, leaning into it. "Don't do this. Please." He felt a tear slip and soon he couldn't stop himself from crying. "Please, Jihoon. Don't leave me."

"Sshh. Don't cry, Soonyoung." Jihoon whispered though he was crying as well. "I'm doing this so I won't hurt you anymore."

"I love you, Jihoon. I'd die if you left me." Soonyoung pulled Jihoon closer until he could hug the other tightly in his arms. "Please, baby."

"Soonyoung..."

" Listen to me. I can wait until you love yourself enough to be with me properly but don't leave me. I need you, Jihoon. Do you hear that? I need you, Lee Jihoon. I don't want anyone else and I don't even see anyone else anymore. I will love you enough for the two of us. I don't care what I have to do, Jihoon. Just be with me."

Jihoon stiffened before relaxing into Soonyoung's arms. "Oh, Soonyoung."

" Love me and stay with me. That's all I need from you. Please."

No one said or did anything for a few minutes and it was nerve wracking. Soonyoung nearly cried again with relief when Jihoon finally nodded. As it was, a fresh wave of tears let loose when Jihoon said 'I love you' repeatedly until it was the only thing that Soonyoung could hear. He felt the weight slowly lifting itself and he could breathe again. He took a deep breath, inhaling as much of Jihoon as he could. 

"Why are you sniffing me, Youngie?" Jihoon said with a slight chuckle.

Soonyoung laughed wetly, sniffling as he gave his boyfriend a light squeeze. "Because I want to, Jihoonie." 

"You're so weird."

"I'm your weirdo." Soonyoung answered happily. 

Jihoon hummed. "Mhm, mine." He kissed Soonyoung's forehead. "I love you. I'm sorry I made you cry."

"It's okay. I made you cry more." Soonyoung pulled away, chuckling when Jihoon whined. "You're so adorable. Let's just lie down, first?"

Jihoon sighed but climbed on the bed with Soonyoung following suit. They laid down side by side. It wasn't enough contact so Soonyoung pulled his boyfriend on top of him. It was nice and Soonyoung wanted to do this for the rest of his life for sure.

"I still am sorry." Jihoon whispered.

Soonyoung sighed. "Shut up, Jihoon. You're not the only one at fault here."

"And telling me to shut up is so comforting for me." Jihoon rolled his eyes, eyebrows raising when Soonyoung smiled dopily at him. "What?"

"You're back to normal." Soonyoung answered. "My sassy tsundere boyfriend is back."

"Is... is that okay? Maybe I need to be more mellow." 

"Shut up." Soonyoung chuckled when Jihoon hit his chest. "I meant what I said, Jihoonie. I will always want you and you're perfect for me. Don't change anything."

"You sound like you're proposing again." Jihoon said sarcastically but he was blushing.

"Hmm, maybe? I will die without you plus I like this." Soonyoung said, hugging Jihoon tighter. "I want to do this for the rest of my life."

Jihoon scoffed but he looked like a tomato so it was good enough for Soonyoung. Eventually, Jihoon started singing, something calming for the two of them and they were contented with that. Soonyoung was almost asleep when he heard Jihoon whispering.

"I would love to be your husband, Youngie." Jihoon kissed Soonyoung's forehead. "I love you. Thank you for not giving up on me."

A.N: Here's my SoonHoon resolution :") hope you like it!!

GUYS WATCH MANSAE IT IS AMAZING AND JUST. UGHHH 

.love you all x

Phones about to die soo toodles!! :*