A.N: *leaves a box of tissues here just in case*

"Jeon Wonwoo, I want you to know that I love you." 

There it was. Mingyu had finally said the words that had been resting on his mind for quite some time now, words that had caused him great fear before but now, brought him a sense of relief. He finally did it! 

Mingyu watched as the older's eyes widened, realization dawning on Wonwoo's face as the weight of the words settled on his mind. Mingyu stood there, clenching his knuckles tightly as he waited for Wonwoo to say something about his confession. 

"Y-you love me?" Wonwoo said in a strangled voice. He stopped for a moment, choking on what to say next. "Oh my God." 
Mingyu stepped forward, unsure if he could approach Wonwoo just yet. "Wonwoo..?" 
Wonwoo shook his head, raising a shaking hand. "D-don't come near me. Not just yet. Oh my God you told me you love me. You actually said those words to me." 

Mingyu looked at the older worriedly, chewing on his bottom lip as Wonwoo repeated the words to himself over and over. Was Wonwoo having a freak out session? Mingyu was just about to ignore what the older requested, stepping closer to reach out and hug Wonwoo when the other stopped speaking all of a sudden. Wonwoo crouched down, body shaking as he clasped his head in his hands. He was crying, Mingyu realized belatedly. 

"Wonwoo? Hey, why are you crying?" Mingyu whispered, crouching down in front of the older. 

Mingyu watched on fondly as Wonwoo kept shaking his head, muttering about giving him a moment. He rubbed the older's back soothingly, believing that everything was going to be okay now. He had overcome his emotional constipation. He had finally manned up and faced the feelings that he had for Wonwoo. The two of them could be together now, for real this time. 

"Ugh, I'm okay now, I think." Wonwoo said, raising his head.
Mingyu chuckled a bit, wiping at the older's eyes. "Your eyes look so puffy. Why did you cry? You cried when Junghan hyung hugged you before as well."
"I'm a very emotional person today." Wonwoo countered. He tilted his head. "You actually said you love me." He repeated, wonder laced in his voice.
"Yes, I did, baby. It's true anyway." Mingyu replied, smiling as he cupped the other's cheek. 

Wonwoo smiled back, closing his eyes as he leaned into Mingyu's touch. Mingyu just continued staring at the older's face, retracing the features that he had missed with his eyes. The Wonwoo in his mind was beautiful, breathtakingly so but still, nothing would ever compare to the original. His fickle memory wasn't enough to capture the essence of this lovely boy. And now this lovely, breathtaking creature was his again. 

"Thank you." Wonwoo whispered.
"Hmm?" Mingyu answered.
Wonwoo opened his eyes slowly. "I said thank you. Thank you for telling me those words." 
"O-oh." Mingyu flushed. No one had ever thanked him for saying those words, granted that he hadn't said those words to anyone that wasn't his hyungs. "Y-you don't have to thank me. It wasn't a big deal."
"Shut up. You know it is." Wonwoo replied. "Even if you did say it in a bathroom, I still appreciate the thought." 
Mingyu opened his mouth to retort but something made him stop. He looked at Wonwoo, the gears in his mind slowly working. Something wasn't right. Wonwoo didn't sound like someone who just got confessed to. There was a wistful tone in his voice. "What's wrong, baby?" Mingyu asked hesitantly. 
Wonwoo smiled at him then but like his voice, it was wrong. It was too wistful, too stiff to be genuine. "Oh, Mingyu." He pulled Mingyu closer until their foreheads were touching. Wonwoo sighed, the warmth of his breath making Mingyu shiver in their close proximity. 
"Wonwoo?" Mingyu asked in a small voice, thoroughly confused on what was happening. 
Wonwoo sighed again before pushing Mingyu away slowly. "Thank you for telling me you love me..." He smiled that sad smile again before he got up, making Mingyu feel all that bit smaller as he looked up to Wonwoo's longing gaze. "But I can't be with you. I'm sorry." 
"What?" Mingyu asked dumbly, not believing what he had just heard. 
"I'm sorry, Gyu." Wonwoo sighed before leaving the bathroom.
--
Mingyu had no idea how long he remained seated in the bathroom floor before Soonyoung opened the door, looking at him with a sigh before crouching down beside him. The two of them just sat there quietly as the seconds ticked by. Mingyu was still busy internalizing what had happened. 

Wonwoo left him. Even after saying that he had loved the other, Wonwoo still left him. 

It was all messed up in Mingyu's head. He couldn't wrap his mind around the idea that after the pain of confessing, he would still be left behind. Where did he go wrong?

"Hyung, I . . . I told Wonwoo that I love him." Mingyu said hoarsely. He tried his lips, as if it could make the words flow easier. 
Soonyoung hummed. "Yeah." 
"I said... I said those words that I have never told anyone else before. I said them to him. But. But he still left me." 
A pause. A sigh. "Yeah." 
Mingyu turned his head slowly, afraid of what he would see in his hyung's expression. "Hyung, Wonwoo said that he can't be with me." His voice wobbled at the end, on the verge of crying. "He said he was sorry but he can't be with me." 
Soonyoung nodded, hand reaching out as if to touch Mingyu before he froze, pulling it back to rub at the back of his neck. "Yeah, he, uh, told me." 
"Why? Why can't he be with me though? I already told him that I love him so why can't we be together?" The last word was barely out of Mingyu's mouth before he started to cry. 

Mingyu curled up in himself, arms hugging his knees to his chest as he let out loud sobs. He was vaguely aware of Soonyoung rubbing his back, murmuring by his ears. Soonyoung must have called or texted the others as well since the door opened a few moments later and Jisoo was standing there with an unreadable expression. Between the two of them, they managed to haul Mingyu up to his feet. Mingyu gripped the edge of the bathroom sink, willing his knees to stop wobbling. 

"Mingyu?" Jisoo called out gently. "Take your time. Soonyoung rented the place so we're the only ones here now. You can just keep on crying."
"J-just us now?" Mingyu asked weakly. He glanced back at his hyungs who were exchanging glances. 
Soonyoung sighed again, tapping Mingyu's back gently. "Yeah, it's just the five of us here." 

Mingyu nodded even though he had already known what the answer would be. Of course Wonwoo wouldn't be outside wondering if Mingyu was okay. He wouldn't be out there waiting for Mingyu to come out. He wasn't there to make Mingyu feel better. 

Those thoughts brought forth another batch of tears. The more Mingyu thought about what happened, the more he wanted to find Wonwoo and just hold him. Even if the older didn't want to be with him, his touch alone could ease the pain that Mingyu was feeling right now. 

Mingyu kept on crying until his eyes felt very puffy and all dried out. Jisoo and Soonyoung had taken a seat by the door, glancing at Mingyu from time to time with a worried frown on their faces. 

"Mingyu?" Soonyoung called out hesitantly when the crying had stopped. 
"I'm . . ." Mingyu paused; he was about to say that he was okay but it was a lie. He sighed deeply. He was too tired to even lie to himself at this point. "I think I'm done crying for now." Mingyu winced at how weak and hoarse his voice sounded. 

Jisoo and Soonyoung stood up, looking unsure of what to do next. Mingyu let them mull over that while he washed his face, trying to wash away the redness of his face. After a few minutes of scrubbing, he looked somewhat better. His eyes had definitely seen better days but there was no use fully hiding how bad he felt. 

"Let's go?" Jisoo asked, hand on the doorknob.

Mingyu nodded though he wasn't sure if he could walk with his knees still shaking. Luckily, Soonyoung caught onto him, wrapping an arm around the younger's forearm as the three made their way out of the bathroom. Jihoon and Junghan were seated at the table closest to the bathroom, both of them shooting up to their feet when they saw the three. 

"Wow." Mingyu said a little breathlessly as he took a look at their surroundings. 
Jihoon turned to him. "Hm? What is it, Mingyu?" 
"The place looks so empty and sad with just us here." 

Mingyu's eyes swept over the restaurant again. It was closer to night by now which probably made the whole thing look even sadder. Almost of the tables and chairs were in their proper places, seemingly untouched and unused. It was as if the whole place was abandoned. The sparse candles that were lit up were far from each other, amplifying the emptiness of the place. Mingyu was sure that the restaurant looked beautiful normally when business was in full swing and the place was filled with customers but this right now... Nothing was beautiful about it. It screamed loneliness and emptiness. 

"I think we should get you home, Gyu." Junghan said gently, pulling the younger away from the empty view.
--
Mingyu didn't remember much of the ride back but what he remembered was Wonwoo. They passed by one of the stores that the older wanted to go to before but they couldn't for one reason or another. There was the cafe that the two of them discovered after just walking around aimlessly for hours only to end up starving to death. Everything was Wonwoo, Wonwoo and Wonwoo. It almost made him cry again. 

"Mingyu, we're here." Junghan announced.
"Yeah." Mingyu answered, taking a look at his apartment building. 
Junghan seemed to notice his reluctance to get out. The older placed his hand on Mingyu's knee. "Do you want to stay at our place for a while?" 

Mingyu thought about it, debating the benefits of staying alone at his place and sleeping at his hyungs' place for a bit. The offer was tempting. He knew he would be coddled and doted on by both Junghan and Jisoo if he accepted. It would be way better than staying locked up in his apartment all alone. 

"Thank you but no, thank you." Mingyu finally decided. He forced a smile but it felt like a grimace instead. "I just want to be alone for a bit." 
"Are you sure? It's no bother to us at all if that's what you're thinking." Jisoo quipped in. 
Mingyu shook his head. "Still no. I think I'd better go in. I'm really tired." 

Junghan looked like he wanted to argue further but Jisoo stopped him with a look. Mingyu smiled at them gratefully before getting out of the car. Soonyoung's Ferrari was idling behind the hyungs' car with Jihoon's window rolled down. Jihoon looked at Mingyu questioningly but the younger just shook his head. After calling a quick goodbye to Soonyoung and Jihoon, Mingyu jogged inside before his hyungs changed their mind and dragged him to their places. Mingyu was too caught up in quickening his steps that he was surprised to find himself facing his door already. 

He suddenly didn't want to go inside. He already knew what he would see and it was still the same person. It would still be Wonwoo. 

He suddenly felt dumb about not taking up his hyungs' offer. What good would wallowing alone do to him? Nothing was the answer. Absolutely nothing. 

Mingyu tried Doyoon's place, frowning when there was no response. He had half of his mind made up to just wait for his neighbor when it dawned on him why Doyoon wasn't home yet. He was probably still out with Wonwoo and the others. 

Mingyu quickly retreated back to his own unit, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down again if he saw Doyoon going home all happy because he had spent time with Wonwoo. 

He opened the door, stepping inside and just stopped to look at it. The mess that he had made earlier while worrying about what to wear was still peeking from his bedroom door, the kitchen still looked clean, mostly because he had been living off his hyungs' cooking recently. Everything was still in place. Everything was the same. 

It still screamed loneliness. 

Mingyu ignored the mess and lack of it and just threw himself to his bed. He wasn't lying when he said that he was tired before but there was a hundred things on his mind before sleep right now. 

Mingyu tried closing his eyes but the scene just played in his again-- Wonwoo's sad smile, Wonwoo getting up and then walking away from him, Wonwoo saying he couldn't be with Mingyu. 

Mingyu gripped into the pillow closest to him as he let the tears fall again. The words kept repeating in his head, drowning the broken sounds coming from him.

'I can't be with you. I'm sorry.'
--
The intervention happened later than Mingyu originally imagined. He hadn't stepped outside of his unit for two days now and he avoided leaving the bed as much as he could. He knew that his hyungs would intervene sooner or later but it still came off as a shock to actually see Jihoon and Soonyoung arguing quietly in his kitchen. 

"Hey." Mingyu whispered, cringing at his voice. He sounded horrible. 
Soonyoung whipped his head to his direction, a cautious smile on his face. "Morning, Mingyu. Did we wake you?"
Mingyu shook his head, taking a seat by the table. "I was just napping anyway."
"Ah." Soonyoung replied. He looked at Jihoon unsurely.
"I'm cooking. What do you want?" Jihoon asked, peering into the fridge. 
"I'm not hungry." Mingyu declined quickly. 
Jihoon pulled back, frowning deeply. "Your fridge is empty. What could you have possibly eaten recently?"
Soonyoung sighed. "Babe." He said with a hint of a warning. He turned to Mingyu. "You can't be not hungry. Just tell us what you want and we'll get it for you."
Mingyu frowned. "If I said Wonwoo, would you give him to me?"
Soonyoung seemed taken aback by what Mingyu had answered but he recovered quickly. Forcing a smile on his face, he shook his head almost regretfully. "You know we can't, Mingyu."
"Then I don't want anything." The younger replied. "If that's it, you guys can show yourselves out. I'm going back to bed." 
"And do what? You can't just lie down here and rot." Jihoon insisted. 
"Watch me." Mingyu countered.
Soonyoung let out a long sigh, rubbing his boyfriend's forearm soothingly. "Mingyu, please just eat. I know you feel horrible but we're just concerned about you." 
"Thanks for the concern really but I want to wallow some more." Mingyu said, waving as he headed back to his room.
"Wonwoo wouldn't want you doing this to yourself, you idiot." Jihoon hissed. Mingyu stopped in his tracks, slowly turning back to look at his hyung. "What would Wonwoo say if he saw you like this right now? He'll be sad and upset with himself because he'll think that it was his fault. Would you want that?" 
Mingyu blinked repeatedly, trying to remove the image of Wonwoo being sad in his mind. "H-he wouldn't care. He doesn't care about me."
Soonyoung shook his head, pulling Mingyu back to the chair. "You and I both know that isn't true." 
--
Jihoon cooked a simple meal for Mingyu but being starved for two days made the meal taste very good for the younger. Jihoon smiled at him, watching Mingyu eat the whole thing with worried eyes. Soonyoung had taken to cleaning around the younger's unit while humming to himself. 

"Thank you." Mingyu mumbled once he had finished.

Soonyoung chuckled, waving it off as he continued picking through the clothes scattered on the floor. Jihoon watched his boyfriend with an amused smile, taking Mingyu's finished plate from him before washing it. Mingyu smiled albeit weakly, feeling touched and grateful for the concern that his hyungs had for him. 

"I'd love to stay here and talk to you but I have an exam." Jihoon said after he had finished. "Besides...." He said, looking at his boyfriend quickly. "The hyungs and I thought that it would be best if Soonyoung talked to you, being the closest to Wonwoo after all." 
Mingyu chewed on his bottom lip. "I don't know if there's anything that could make me feel better at this point." 
Jihoon sighed, clapping Mingyu's shoulder. "You might think that but you might be surprised." 

Jihoon smiled at him before he went to Soonyoung. Mingyu had to turn away from the two. There was no doubt that Jihoon and Soonyoung's relationship had matured and strengthen and even if they still do argue with each other, there were times when they were so soft, so gentle with each other that it gave Mingyu's heart a pang. It was just a reminder of something that he could never get. 

"Just order out for lunch okay? I don't want you to burn down Mingyu's kitchen." Jihoon reminded. 
Soonyoung chuckled. "Yes, babe. I would never. See you later. Text me when you reach class please."
"Yes, Youngie." Jihoon smiled, kissing Soonyoung's cheek and waving to Mingyu before heading out. 

Soonyoung kept his eyes on the door until Mingyu cleared his throat. The older turned to him with a sheepish smile, pulling out a shocked snort from the younger. Soonyoung hummed, surveying the room before pulling Mingyu to the couch and facing him with one of the most serious expressions Mingyu had seen on him. 

"How much do you love Wonwoo?" Soonyoung asked.
Mingyu's jaw fell open at the question, not expecting that at all. "I... What?"
"How much do you love Wonwoo?" Soonyoung repeated patiently. When Mingyu still didn't respond with anything, the dancer sighed, tilting his head as he looked over his dongsaeng. "Because you should love Won more than anyone has ever loved him before, Doyoon included."
Mingyu looked away. "Does it even matter? He said he can't be with me."
"I know. He told me that he said that. And yes, it does matter, stupid." Soonyoung sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "Do you even know why he said that to you?" 
"Why else? He doesn't have feelings for me anymore. He probably hates me now to be more accurate." 
Soonyoung chuckled hollowly. "If only that was the case hm? Hey, Gyu, did you know that hate isn't the opposite of love? There's actually just a fine line between the two of them, a small tipping point between those two extreme emotions." 
Mingyu nodded slowly, unsure of the reason why Soonyoung was telling him this. "Okay?" 
"The opposite of love is indifference, Mingyu. It's about totally not caring about the other person's wellbeing or just the other's existence completely." Soonyoung said with finality. He turned to Mingyu. "After you and Wonwoo talked, he walked up to me and practically begged me to make sure that you were okay, that you would be taken care of." Mingyu's eyes widened at what his hyung told him. "He doesn't not have feelings for you, Gyu. He probably wished that was the case sometimes but he does have feelings for you." 
Mingyu fish-mouthed, absorbing what Soonyoung was trying to say. He leaned back against the couch, feeling tired all of a sudden. "Then why? If he still has feelings for me, why couldn't he be with me?" 
"I think that's something the two of you should talk about." Soonyoung said with a soft smile.
--
"Oh. It's you." Minki said, looking dumbfounded as he looked over at Mingyu. "Uhm, what would you like to order?" 
"Wonwoo's favorites please." Mingyu answered back curtly, feeling his face flush at the way Minki was staring at him. "A-and, can Wonwoo deliver the food to me later on?"
Minki stopped writing the order, giving Mingyu another glance. "I... I'm not sure actually. I will try though." He gave Mingyu a small smile before walking off. 

Mingyu took Soonyoung's advice to heart and decided to go to Jam Jam to talk to Wonwoo. He was scared that the older would turn him away if he had gone to his place instead. 

"Mingyu, uh, hi." Wonwoo greeted shyly as he placed the order in front of the younger, taking a seat across him hesitantly. "What brings you here?"
"I want to talk." Mingyu said simply, pushing the plate aside as he leaned in closer to the table. 
Wonwoo's eyebrows shot up. "You want to talk? Wow. Uh, about what?" 
"You know what." Mingyu frowned before sighing. He had to calm down. He wanted-needed-answers and he had to get them no matter what. "Y-you told me that you can't be with me. I want to know why."
Wonwoo nodded slightly, expression becoming blank. "Why did you think I said that?" 
Mingyu chewed on his bottom lip, worry suddenly flooding him. What if Soonyoung was wrong? "I actually thought that it was because you don't have feelings for me. It makes sense doesn't it?" 
Wonwoo sighed, sounding pained as he was doing so. "That's not it at all, Mingyu." He said gently, reaching out to touch Mingyu's hand before stopping just beside it. "Don't think like that." 
Mingyu grabbed Wonwoo's hand, weaving his fingers through the other's. "Then why?" He whispered. 
"Because ... Because sometimes, love isn't the only thing needed to have a relationship." Wonwoo said weakly, words breaking as they came out. "Mingyu, I just... We've hurt each other too much. Very hurtful words were said and I don't know if moving past them is going to be that easy." 
Mingyu nodded, giving Wonwoo's hand a light squeeze. "I know and that was my fault. I should have thought my confession more thoroughly. Instead of just blurting out that I love you, I should have apologized as well." Mingyu admitted, the realization dawning on him just then. 
"There isn't anything to forgive." Wonwoo said softly. He kept his eyes on their interlocked hands. "I guess I'm just that weak when it comes to you. I know that I should feel angry about all the things you said and I was but for just a very short time. Seungcheol is still upset about it though. He even got mad at me because I wasn't. That got me thinking about how what happened to me affected him, affected the others as well. I can't make them go through what happened with Doyoon again. I just... i can't. It's not fair to them."
"I won't be like that though. I wouldn't hurt you like that. I wouldn't leave you broken..." Mingyu halted as he realized what he was saying. Hadn't he already done that to Wonwoo? He reached out to cup the other's cheek, tears forming at his eyes. "Oh, Wonwoo, I am so, so sorry. I . . . I'll make it up to you. I am so completely sorry."
Wonwoo closed his eyes, the unshed tears making his lashes shine as he placed his hand on top of Mingyu's. "I know you are. But still. I don't think I can change my mind." His tears started falling when Mingyu let out a distressed sound. "Thank you though. I meant it when I said thank you for telling how you feel. It felt so nice hearing those words from you. I felt warm and happy everywhere. I mean, I knew that you had feelings for me but actually hearing them from you... It was a different experience." He opened his eyes, chuckling a bit. "Don't cry, Mingyu. I bet I already made you cry again and again these past days." 
"I love you, Wonwoo. Please. Give me a chance to prove myself to you." Mingyu pleaded, gripping Wonwoo's hand tighter. 
Wonwoo removed the hand on top of the younger's, wiping Mingyu's eyes. "We've been through a lot, Mingyu. Things that not everyone can say they've been through... It was a whirlwind of things. Everything was happening too fast. God knows how fast I fell for you." Wonwoo paused. "I just don't know if we could go back from base one from where we are now." 
--
Mingyu kept his eyes on the ceiling as he replayed the events from today over and over again. Even though Wonwoo didn't say it outright, Mingyu could feel that the older still loved him. It was the one hope he was clinging to. As long as Wonwoo still loved him, there was still a chance for them, still a chance to make things right at the very least. 

He grabbed his phone, ignoring the messages from his hyungs and searched for Wonwoo's contact. 

To: Freaking Cute Guy with a Deep Voice Wonwoo
Hey... I thought about what you said
Going back to base one and all that...
Mind if we give it a try? 
Let's have a redo. Let's go through things properly this time. 
I want to be your friend. If you let me that is. 

Mingyu read the message over and over again before hitting send. It was the best he could come up with at the moment; he just hoped that Wonwoo would at least read his message and consider his idea. After a few minutes of anxious waiting, he got a reply. 

From: Freaking Cute Guy with a Deep Voice Wonwoo
Yeah..sure
I'd like that a lot actually :) 

A.N: i planned this chapter to be very sad and emotional... I just hoped it was even just a teeny bit successful??? ;; omg what if it wasnt sfjfnejfividufjfe (if thats the case then i am sorry) orz i even made a playlist for this HAHAHA

Thank you for welcoming me back with such open arms!! You guys are seriously the best. :) <3 

I just realized that this fic is almost a year old. Omg i am so slow in updates haha. The end is coming anyway so I hope you guys will be patient with me.

Let me know what you think? Pleaaase. xx love you all! xx