That was how the days were to Mingyu. He would get flashes of lessons, snippets of conversations and the constant feeling of Junghan's eyes on him but nothing fully registered in his mind. Jonghyun had sent him home earlier twice already since he couldn't make the drinks right. Mingyu had apologized but bolted out of there the moment Jonghyun's irritation turned into something gentler, more concerned. He didn't want or need a pity party. 

 

It was a little funny how everything just seemed so irrelevant and worthless now when Mingyu had been living just fine before he had met Wonwoo. It wasn't even a full year since they had met but Mingyu couldn't remember how he had been before. It was stupid. Very ing stupid.

 

 

"Are you still moping around?" Jihoon asked as he opened the door for Mingyu. "I don't know if my boyfriend said anything but I don't get why you have to mope around at our place."

 

Mingyu just shrugged, making his way to the couch where he seemed to be a fixture this past week. He didn't tell Jihoon how he had been avoiding his apartment, how it felt like there was a part of Wonwoo that was left there and every time Mingyu turned around, he could see the older smiling at him. Most importantly, he couldnt't tell Jihoon that he would smile back until he caught himself, until he realized that it was just an illusion. 

 

"Jihoon? Baby, did you leave?" A sleepy voice called out. 

"No, it's just Mingyu." Jihoon answered back. He frowned when he saw Soonyoung walking into the living room, yawning loudly. "Why are you up anyway?" 

"You weren't in bed." Soonyoung answered, hugging Jihoon from behind. "It's rude to leave me." He pouted before nuzzling Jihoon. 

Mingyu cleared his throat, eyes shifting around awkwardly. "I'm sorry, hyung. I can leave if you want." 

Soonyoung finally looked at the younger, face contorting into a displeased expression. "You look even more horrible than I do and I'm the one preparing for a showcase." He kissed Jihoon's cheek before detaching himself from his boyfriend's back. "Stay and keep Jihoon company. I need to sleep before I get even uglier. Get some sleep soon, alright, Gyu?" He nodded once to his dongsaeng before disappearing back to their bedroom.

 

Jihoon sighed as he watched his boyfriend, taking a seat across Mingyu. He continued staring at their bedroom door before he turned to face the younger, one eyebrow already raised. 

 

"I'm assuming something happened with Wonwoo." 

Mingyu looked away, wincing slightly at the mention of the older's name. "I see that Soonyoung hyung finally took a break."

Jihoon narrowed his eyes at him. "Don't change the subject." But his eyes went back to their door with a quiet sigh. "But yeah he finally did. Came in at around three in the morning. He was so pale and sickly that I nearly called for an ambulance. And you know what he said when I told him that I was bringing him to the hospital? 'I just need to see my fairy and I'll be fine.' God, I don't even know how he could just come here and be cheesy while being almost half dead."

Mingyu chuckled, surprising himself that he could. "Sounds just like hyung. Have you told him you missed him?"

"And what? Add that to the things he's worrying about. He's already stressed enough because one of their best dancers had to up his exams. If the guy doesn't pass the make up exam, they'd be one act short." Jihoon huffed. He rubbed his eyes and Mingyu could see how this was affecting his hyung as well. 

"I actually think that he'll like it."

"Well..." Jihoon shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he knows. Besides, the showcase is a few more days away. I can handle myself until then."

Mingyu looked at his hyung. "Are you worried or excited for him?"

"A little bit of both. I'm excited since he couldn't join last year so i know he'll put even more effort for this year. Worried for the exact same reason too. Youngie calls me a perfectionist but he's just as bad as I am. At least I actually listen to him when he tells me to go home. "

"This is the first time he went home since preparations started right?"

"Second. The first was pretty short. He grabbed about half his clothes then ran back to the studio." Jihoon pouted. "He didn't even bother asking how I've been."

 

 

Mingyu sighed, patting his hyung's head. All of them knew that the couple were both perfectionists and couldn't stand leaving things unfinished. Soonyoung was like this for the dance showcase and Jihoon would be this way when song evaluations happened. It was basically a routine for them. It didn't mean that things got easier though. The other would always be missing his partner but couldn't stand the thought of being in the way. 

 

"Don't you miss Wonwoo?" 

Mingyu's head snapped up at the name. "W-what? How did he get in the conversation?" 

"Because you haven't talked about him in awhile. Plus like Youngie said, you look horrible. Did the two of you fight?" Jihoon asked curiously. His eyes stared at Mingyu and the younger somehow felt bare under his hyung's gaze. 

"I... It's... Yeah, i guess you could say that." Mingyu mumbled weakly as the scene played out in his mind. He could still see the look of anguish on Wonwoo's face before he left. 

"Hey, it'll be fine. Everyone fights." Jihoon said gently, placing a hand on Mingyu's knee. "I'm not going to pry into your business but I know the two of you will get through this and laugh about it someday."

 

Mingyu bit his lip before he could say anything stupid. For once, he wanted Jihoon to be nosy, to stick his nose where it wasn't wanted so Mingyu could come out and say the truth. He wanted to finally admit of the lie he had fabricated and get some real advice from Jihoon. He didn't know his hyung would react about getting lied to but he knew that his hyung wouldn't stay mad at him for too long before helping him. 

 

Why couldn't he just say it? 

 

Jihoon must have seen how torn and helpless Mingyu felt since the older stood up, hugging the younger albeit awkwardly. The two didn't really do skinship with one another but it still felt nice and comforting. "Don't worry about it so much, okay? When it comes to love,things would always find a way to be alright. You'll see." 

 

Mingyu felt himself choke on a sob as he clung onto Jihoon's small frame. Love. 

--

From: Soonyoung hyung

Uh, Gyu...

Did Wonwoo get in an accident?

 

Mingyu found himself rushing after what felt like an eternity of sluggish movements. He quickly typed out a reply, tapping his fingers on the screen impatiently as he waited for his hyung to reply.

 

To: Soonyoung hyung

What?!! What do you mean?! Did you see him hurt?!!!

 

From: Soonyoung hyung

... Well, no. 

Not really

 

To: Soonyoung hyung

Then what the hell did you mean?! Dont scare me like that, hyung!

 

Mingyu nearly threw his phone at the wall in frustration. His heart was still beating loudly due to the false alarm. He couldn't help but imagine Wonwoo getting in an accident with their last conversation being that fight. It was horrible and he had to take a deep breath as he willed the images away. He had just calmed down when his phone rang.

 

"What?" Mingyu snapped as he answered the phone. 

Soonyoung huffed. "Easy with the tone, Kim. Remember I'm still older than you." 

Mingyu rolled his eyes;age had never been a big deal to Soonyoung. "Fine, what is it then, hyung?" He answered in an overly sweet tone. 

"I am ignoring the sarcasm in that." Soonyoung answered. "Anyway, uh, Wonwoo.. He just... Ignored me. I mean he obviously looked at me but he just walked away like he didn't know me at all."

Mingyu felt his heart drop. Like he didn't know me at all. Was that how they were now? Just mere strangers?

"It was very weird, Mingyu. And you know who he was with? Doyoon hyung. I mean, Seungcheol hyung was there too but that wasn't new. When the hell did Won and Doyoon become chummy?!"

 

It was quiet between them for a while until Mingyu realized that Soonyoung was waiting for an answer. But what could he say to that?

 

With a deep sigh, Mingyu finally answered."i don't know either, hyung." 

"Oh, Mingyu. Is Doyoon hyung the reason why the two of you are fighting? I hope you don't mind but I asked Jihoon why you looked like yesterday and he told me." 

"I... I don't mind, hyung. It was a given anyway. Uhm, I have some errands to do, hyung." Mingyu said awkwardly, not wanting to talk about Wonwoo and Doyoon being chummy together any longer. 

 

Thankfully, Soonyoung dropped the subject and hung up with a promise to talk about it in the future. Mingyu made a non committal sound in response, ignoring the way his hyung protested. 

 

There was nothing to talk about after all. Mingyu was out of the picture so Wonwoo could be chummy with whoever he wanted. Especially if it was Doyoon. 

 

Mingyu could almost hear Wonwoo calling him an idiot. 

--

Somehow after hearing what Soonyoung said, Mingyu snapped out of his moping. He began to pay attention in his classes again, actually responded when his hyungs would talk to him. He was being normal. Which was why he didn't understand why Junghan kept looking at him worriedly. He was fine. He was great. He was single. What was there to worry about?

 

"Hyung, cut it out." Mingyu whined when Junghan looked at him like that again. 

The older smiled sheepishly at him. "I'm sorry, Gyu. It's just that...." He looked at His boyfriend for assistance. 

Jisoo sighed, closing his book as he leaned forward. "You're trying so hard to be okay, Mingyu. It hurts to watch." 

"What?" Mingyu frowned, "i'm not trying, hyung. I really am okay. Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Mingyu, you were looking down at your food so sadly yesterday, like you lost something important until we called your name and you put on the biggest,most fake smile ever." Jisoo replied. "Why don't you just let us help you?"

Junghan nodded, reaching out to grab Mingyu's hand. "Whatever it is, you know that we're willing to listen. We won't judge you. We won't even give our advice if you don't want it."

 

That was a lie. Mingyu knew his hyungs would give him advice no matter what, directly or indirectly. But. He didn't need that. He was doing fine. He was finally going back to normal so what was this crap Jisoo was talking about? 

 

"I really am fine, hyung. I'm more than fine actually. Well, a little behind class but that's normal. I'll get back on track soon." Mingyu rambled, looking at the clock behind Junghan's head. It was almost noon. Wonwoo was getting out of work soon. Mingyu felt himself tense up and freeze.

Jisoo looked at him. "Ready to admit that you're not okay?" 

Mingyu swallowed thickly, leaning back in his chair. "I don't want to be not okay, hyung. I have no right to be."

"Mingyu, anyone can feel sad. Why would you say that?"

"Because this is my fault." Mingyu confessed. "All of this... This mess... This ing mess is my doing. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been childish and jealous!"

Jisoo and Junghan exchanged looks, clearly not expecting this outburst. Junghan cleared his throat, putting on a caring smile. "Mingyu, being jealous isn't something you have to beat yourself up about. Everyone gets jealous. It just shows that you don't want to lose Wonwoo." 

"How could you lose someone that was never yours to begin with?"  Mingyu finally admitted. He took a deep breath, looking at the faces of his hyungs, confusion clearly written in them. "I have something to tell you guys actually." 

"What is this bull about you and Wonwoo breaking up?!" Soonyoung exclaimed after barging in the library. Everyone inside turned their heads to the door, annoyance evident in their faces. 

"Kwon Soonyoung." The librarian, Kahi, said in a warning tone. 

Soonyoung ignored her and headed straight to where Mingyu and the others were, Jihoon hot on his heels. "Yah, Kim Mingyu!" The dancer grabbed Mingyu's collar, pulling him closer. "What the happened?"

Jihoon had grabbed his boyfriend's shirt, tugging on it gently. "Soonyoung... We're in public." 

"No. I want to know what the happened. What the happened that Wonwoo couldn't even look at us anymore? Why was Seungcheol the one to answer me and Jihoon when Wonwoo was just ing standing there?!" Soonyoung hissed at Mingyu. 

 

Just as Mingyu was about to explain, Soonyoung was yanked off him and an obviously pissed off Kahi was dragging him to the exit. She threw the rest of them icy glares, motioning for them to follow her. Jisoo and Junghan quickly grabbed their books while Jihoon scampered after his now whining boyfriend. 

 

"I don't care who Wonwoo is or whatever happened between him and your friend but you are not making a scene in the library. Got it, Soonyoung? Honestly, you should be banned here until you graduate." Kahi hissed as she pushed Soonyoung outside. "As for the rest of you..." She glared at Jisoo and Junghan in particular. "Keep this one in line, would you? Such a menace." 

 

She threw Soonyoung another dirty look before walking back inside. It was quiet for a while as Jihoon checked on his boyfriend who was more shocked than actually hurt. Once Soonyoung had stood up, glare fully intact and directed at Mingyu, Jisoo cleared his throat.

 

"So, I think we need to discuss this in a more private place." Jisoo announced as he looked at each of them. When he got no response, he sighed before pushing Mingyu ahead of him. "Let's just go back to our place already."

Soonyoung huffed as he followed, wrapping an arm around Jihoon. "Told you Kahi noona was a scary monster." 

"That's probably because you made such noisy entrance, Soonyoung." Junghan commented. 

"But still! You saw how strong she was!" Soonyoung insisted. 

"Whatever you say, baby." Jihoon said, nuzzling into Soonyoung's side. "I'm just glad she didn't really hurt you." 

--

 Mingyu just kept quiet as they walked in the hyungs' apartment. Soonyoung had stopped glaring at him halfway through their walk here, probably because Junghan kept nudging him. Mingyu didn't really mind the glare directed at him though. He deserved it after all. 

 

"Mingyu?" Jisoo called out. "You with us?"

 

Mingyu stared at him, blinking owlishly before looking around the living room. The others had settled themselves in position as he was thinking. Curiosity was written all over their faces especially Soonyoung's. 

 

"Gyu?" Junghan asked once Mingyu took a little too long to reply. 

Mingyu shook his head. "Sorry, yeah, uh, I'm here." 

"Okay?" Junghan replied, dragging the word out. He looked at Jisoo before looking at Soonyoung and Jihoon. "Want to tell us what happened between you and Wonwoo?"

Mingyu swallowed, chewing his lower lip. "W-what did Wonwoo tell you guys?" He asked, looking at Jihoon more than Soonyoung. 

Jihoon frowned. "He didn't say anything. We walked up to him and then he hid behind Seungcheol. It was pretty weird."

Soonyoung leaned forward. "Then Seungcheol started talking about how maybe we shouldn't approach Wonwoo anymore. So I asked him why and then he looked at Wonwoo like he was asking for permission. Then Seungcheol finally said that the two of you broke up. He dragged Won away before we could get over the shock."

Seungcheol knew. Mingyu closed his eyes as he imagined Wonwoo coming clean to his friends. He wondered what was Seungcheol's reaction, what Hansol's reaction was. So much for the approval he had just gotten. "I don't know what you guys want me to say." Mingyu finally responded. "Cheol hyung already said what happened."

"That doesn't explain , Kim. Why did you guys break up? Did something happen in Changwon?" Soonyoung asked. 

"Soonyoung, enough with the cussing please." Jisoo said as he rubbed his temples, Junghan rubbing his arm comfortingly. 

Mingyu inhaled deeply, hands curling into fists. This was it. He had to come out and say it. "Seungcheol hyung lied."

"I knew it! There was no way that you and Wonwoo could break up!" Soonyoung reacted way too quickly. 

Mingyu smiled at his hyung sadly. Soonyoung was probably going to be the most disappointed. "It's not like that, hyung. Wonwoo and I..." Mingyu's breath hitched, the name feeling heavy on his tongue. "The two of us.. We didn't break up. We were never together in the first place." 

 

Mingyu let the words hang in the air for a bit. Different expressions of shock and disbelief were written in his hyungs' faces so he took advantage of the moment to continue speaking. 

 

"We were just fake dating. Remember when you guys continuously set me up on blind dates? I met Wonwoo in another bar downtown and was loudly complaining about how I hated you guys when he spoke to me. It was really rather sudden when I asked him to be my fake boyfriend." Mingyu rambled on, feeling his chest tighten as he remembered how Wonwoo smirked at him when they had first met, how he had blushed when Wonwoo called him babe. 

Soonyoung was the first to recover from shock, eyebrows already furrowed as he spoke. "Fake boyfriend? Are you messing with us, Mingyu? Who does stuff like that?" 

"Me apparently." Mingyu said in a small voice. "I know it's stupid but that was the only thing I could think of at the moment."

"But...." Jihoon started, frowning even more. "Everything... All of those things that happened. They couldn't all be fake."

Junghan nodded. "You're not that good of an actor, Mingyu. The way you looked at Wonwoo, actually, the way the two of you looked at each other- that couldn't have been fake." 

"Not to mention all those hickeys he gave you. Those definitely weren't fake." Jisoo added. 

Mingyu shrugged, playing with his fingers. "We're both men; we have needs."

"Bull." Soonyoung exclaimed. "Jisoo hyung, I'm sorry but your son is being absolutely ridiculous. Who the hell are you trying to fool, Mingyu? Anyone with eyes could see that you've fallen for Wonwoo!"

Mingyu didn't know what it was but the words struck a nerve. He jumped to his feet, glaring at Soonyoung. "Why are you such a know it all?! What makes you think that you know what I feel better than I do?! Just because you changed from being a player, it doesn't mean that everyone else is living a real life fantasy as well. News flash, buddies are still a thing and I am allowed to have one." 

 

Soonyoung was squinting at Mingyu, body tensed up as he slowly got up. He ignored Jihoon's protests to calm down and faced Mingyu squarely. The younger waited for his hyung to punch him but the blow never came. They just stared at each other while the others waited. 

 

"That's what you told Wonwoo, right? That the two of you were still fake dating with a little on the side?" Soonyoung asked, voice deceptively quiet.

Mingyu stiffened, wondering how his hyung knew or if Soonyoung knew how spot on his guess was. 

When Mingyu didn't reply, Soonyoung toook it as an affirmation and continued on. "I can imagine how hurt and angry Won must have been to you. Funny how you did that to him when he was so sure that you would never hurt him. When I asked him what was the best thing he liked about you, he answered that he loves how you make him feel safe. 'When I'm with Mingyu, it's like nothing can get to me. He makes me feel protected without being too much, without trapping me.' That was what he said." 

 

Mingyu couldn't process what Soonyoung had just said. Wonwoo had said that about him, so easily and so honestly. Just like how he usually was. Mingyu didn't get it. How could he mean so much to someone as amazing as Wonwoo? 

 

"I need to leave before I actually punch you." Soonyoung said, taking a step back. "Jihoon, do you want to stay here?" He asked, turning to face his boyfriend. 

"I..." Jihoon stuttered, looking between Soonyoung and Mingyu. "Yeah, actually, I want to stay here for a bit." He said, smiling apologetically at his boyfriend.

 

 

Soonyoung shook his head, leaning down to plant a kiss on Jihoon's forehead, nodding to Jisoo and Junghan. He shoved Mingyu out of the way before walking out and slamming the door. Mingyu turned to face the door, a weary sigh escaping his lips. He knew that Soonyoung and Wonwoo got very close and that his hyung was probably angry at him for what he did. 

 

"Mingyu, come here." Junghan said, moving to the side so there would be a space between him and Jisoo.

Mingyu stared at his hyung to see if he was joking but Junghan just stared right back so he had no choice but to comply. It was a tight fit between the three of them. "Well..."

 

Mingyu stopped when both Jisoo and Junghan wrapped him in a tight hug. Jihoon was looking over at them with an odd smile and Mingyu couldn't shake the feeling of being the youngest all of a sudden. Mingyu tried to break free of the hug because it was honestly becoming too much but his hyungs just latched on tighter. 

 

"Hyuuuung!" Mingyu whined. "This is getting embarrassing!"

"We just want you to know that we're sorry for what happened." Jisoo answered with a sigh. "I think that we have something to do with why you did it."

Junghan nodded. "Maybe we were too lvoey dovey? We didn't see how bad it was making you feel."

 

Mingyu sighed again before making himself as comfortable as he could sandwiched between his hyungs. He wasn't going to deny what they had said but he knew it wasn't completely their fault either. No one told him to do what he did. 

 

"I should honestly be used to your lovey doveyness. Besides, Soonyoung and Jihoon hyung's arguments balance out." Mingyu argued.

Jihoon kicked his shin for that comment. "We don't argue that much!"

"Yes, you do." The other three chorused, making Jihoon pout.

"Well, not lately, no. The two of you had gotten much more mellow." Junghan said thoughtfully. 

"It's because of Mingyu and Wonwoo. Won handled Mingyu's emotional constipation so I thought, why can't I handle being romantic and sweet to Youngie as well?" Jihoon said with a shrug. He pinched Mingyu's thigh. "Which is why you shouldn't be dumb and get back with him again or for real this time. Whatever you say."

"Hyung..." Mingyu protested. 

"Say that you don't like him and I will smash your face with my guitar. Do you remember how mopey you were when that Sehun guy flirted with Wonwoo at Busan? Remember Doyoon?" Jihoon huffed. "If those aren't sure signs that you like him, as in legitly like him, then I don't know what is."

Mingyu groaned, not really wanting to think of Doyoon or Sehun at the moment. "I knew there had to be a reason why you didn't leave with Soonyoung hyung."

"Because no one can knock some sense into you other than me." Jihoon said it so seriously that Mingyu snorted. "Yah! I'm being serious here!" 

Mingyu groaned when his hyung kicked him again. "Hyung! Your kicks really hurt!" Then he turned to Junghan, as much as he could in that position. "Why aren't you doing anything, umma?!"

"Because you need to listen to Jihoon. Now shut up." Junghan said. 

Jihoon laughed at Mingyu's hurt expression before sobering up. "Mingyu, you like Wonwoo and Wonwoo likes you back. You just need to get yourself together and talk to him like a normal person." 

"Why would he like me? You don't know the things I've said to him. Even if he did like me before, I blew it." Mingyu said sadly. 

Jihoon patted his knee. "You'd have to ask Wonwoo and find out for yourself, don't you?" 

"How could I, hyung? I.. I can't even face him anymore. Just... Just think about it. Wonwoo is so much like a real angel and I'm just my constipated self. Why would he like me?" 

Jihoon chuckled, earning him a kick from Mingyu this time. He shook his head, smiling softly. "You and I are really quite the same, huh? You know I think the same way about Soonyoung. I nearly broke up with him because I feel like I'm not good enough for him too." Jihoon sighed. "I even made him cry because of it. Mingyu, despite all my flaws, all the insecurities and doubts I have about myself, Soonyoung chose me. He chose me to love. It is such an honor to be the one. I don't think I'm enough for him but if that's what he wants, if it's me who he wants, then I would be honored to be that person. I would return the love he gave me twice, thrice, a thousand more times until I feel like I am worthy of being the person he loves." Jihoon sniffled, wiping at his eyes quickly. "God, this has gotten sappier than I expected. Luckily, Soonyoung isn't here. What I'm trying to say is that let Wonwoo make that choice. Whether he wants you or not, it's his call so don't make that decision for him." 

 

 

A.N: guuuys!!! Omg i am so sorry for the delay in the update. This is my last sem in college and you can just imagine how hectic things are and have been. Not to mention the fact that my phone broke down. (RIP, baby). A lot of things happened really hence the delay. :) 

 

Let me guys know what you think of this chapter and thank you thank you for sticking with this story despite my late updates. Saranghaeyo~~ <333 thank you for real. xx