A week has passed…

And it feels like I haven’t even set a step outside of my room. I mean I have been out every once in a while, but I always had to sneak out around midnight through 3 in the morning. I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days, and that’s probably because I know my deadline is near. Plus, I’m scared of falling asleep now. I get nightmares…about him leaving me, about him hating me.

And I’m scared of running into one of the boys. I haven’t even seen a glimpse of them since… I don’t even remember anymore. That last time seemed like centuries apart already.

I walk into the living room and look at my surroundings. All my stuff is gone; they were picked up last Wednesday. And I’ll be leaving on Thursday. Today’s Tuesday, so that means I only have one day left.

One day…

What I would give just to see him again. To see his shy smile, his crescent eyes… I shake my head, clearing away the figure forming in my mind. I look at the clock. It’s already 2:34 a.m. I slip on my shoes and open the door silently. I slip my head through the crack and look left and right down the halls. The coast is clear. I walk out and softly close my door. I look behind me once again just to make sure and proceed to walk out of the building.

I’ve been going to the park every once in a while. But I’ve been mostly going back to that meadow. I know it’s far, but it passed the time a little. Plus, I found an even bigger lake with a small waterfall behind some trees close by. I start jogging.

I miss the boys deeply, but I can’t do anything about it now. I’ll be leaving soon, and I won’t see them again. If I see them one last time… I’ll break. I know I’ll breakdown in front of them. And I’m tired of being weak. I wasted all of that last week. I wonder how he’s doing… I sigh as I start to slow down.

YoungBae. Every part of me is just yearning for him. With those lonely, sleepless nights, I’ve had a lot of thoughts. And I’ve figured it out. I don’t know why I haven’t figured it out before, when everything was going fine.

I’m in love with him.

And what a late realization that was.

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[TPOV]

“Hyung, don’t you think you should sleep just for tonight?”

I shake my head as I focus on tying my shoes.

“But, hyung, you’ve been going out late at night for days now. Don’t you feel a bit tired?”

I sigh as I stand up from the bed. “I’m sorry, Daesung. But I just can’t sleep at night. You know that.” I start to walk towards my closet.

“You’re going to try and find her again, aren’t you?” He says, making me stop in my tracks. “Hyung, just because you supposedly saw her one night doesn’t—“

“Don’t.” I whirl around and look Daesung straight in the eyes. “Don’t say it doesn’t matter because it matters everything to me.” I sigh, calming myself down. “I know I saw her, Daesung. I’m sure of it.” My eyes sting as I remember staring into familiar brown eyes even if it was just for a second.

“Then why haven’t you seen her since then?” Daesung explodes. “Then why haven’t we seen her through the days? How is it that she’s never in her place whenever you’re standing there every night?” His voice cracks at the end.

I stare wide-eyed at Daesung as he closes his eyes and tries to calm down. I’ve never seen Daesung snap like that. He slowly sits down on my bed as I see him rub his eyes.

“It’s not fair.” I hear him say, his voice lower than a whisper. He then mutters something else too low for me to hear.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” I ask as I slowly make my way towards the door. As much as I want to know what he’s keeping, I know he’s not going to tell me. He shakes his head.

I sigh, “See you later then.” I open the door and tiptoe out our dorm, not wanting to wake the others. Even if it’s been days already and we haven’t seen Charlotte, Daesung still won’t tell me what he’s been hiding. And when he snapped back there… That’s not like him.

I come face to face with a door. I press my ear against the door and grow still as I try to listen in. Maybe she’s sleeping? I knock on her door three times. No answer. I sigh as I linger there for a while like I always do. A week has past and I haven’t seen Charlotte since that time I hurt her. I shudder from the memory. I want to apologize and I just want to see her. Not even the others have seen her.

I take a glance at her door. Nothing. I sigh once more as I turn my back and make my way out of the building. I start walking towards the park. 

I can say that the others and I are getting along again. Well, they started talking to me again after I apologized to them. Though, Seunghyun hyung and I are still keeping our distance from each other. We try to avoid from being alone together. Nevertheless, we don’t mention that fight between us.

I fall back on the bench I’ve been sitting at every night. I look up at the night sky as my thoughts continue to think about Charlotte.

I miss her a lot. And I know the others do, too. None of us has visited YG-shi yet. We’re afraid of telling him that we drove away our character in our MV… well, I drove her away. I hit her, for crying out loud! She does have a right to be mad at me, but why avoid us? That’s what I keep asking all the time.

I sigh as I look up at the night sky. All the stars seem to be missing nowadays. It makes me feel lonely even more. A freaking week has past and I’m surprised I haven’t tried to commit suicide yet. Maybe that’s because there’s a part of me hoping to see her or hoping to have everything cleared up soon. I reach up and clutch my head. There’s just so much going on that I can’t think straight…

But that’s the thing. It feels like there’s a lot going on, but if you just look at it all… There’s nothing going on. That’s what makes me go insane. It feels like I’ve gone through hell, but in reality, I’ve only gone to the park and her place every night.

I’m not sure what to do anymore. Everyday I fall deeper and deeper in pain, deeper and deeper in despair. I bite my lower lip and clench my hands into fists to keep me from shaking, to keep me from slapping myself for not realizing it earlier.

Everyday I fall deeper and deeper in love with her.

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A/N: Finally those two realize what they've got! LOL. Took them long enough, don't you think? 

Anyway, I love me some comments... So, care to comment then? :)