“Where do you think Seunghyun hyung is taking Charlotte?” Seungri asks after a very tense silence in the living room.

“You know how he is.” Jiyong replies. “He’s probably going to take her out to dinner in some fancy restaurant.

I stay quiet and look out the window. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. I ignore them and continue looking out the window. This is agonizing. Every minute is killing me. I haven’t seen her for three days now. I want to go back to my room, but the guys won’t let me. At least, I don’t have to hide my feelings anymore since the guys know about my liking towards Charlotte. I mentally sigh. Like. That word still feels wrong. I know for sure that there’s a word for my feelings, but I just don’t know what it is.

This really is a feeling I’ve never felt before. And it makes me scared. Actually, I’m scared to be away from her. I need to be by her side. I’m most nervous about this “date”. I’m worried that Seunghyun hyung could take her away any moment. And then she’ll be his. I wouldn’t even have a chance to fight for her heart. I mean I haven’t seen her for three days, for God’s sake! How am I supposed to do anything when I can’t even see her?

I felt the stares grow more intense.

“Do you guys really have to stare at me?” I snap my head to them. Seungri and Daesung look away while Jiyong’s stare never falters. He has been my friend for so long. I don’t think he’s going to cower anytime soon.

“YoungBae-ah.” Jiyong sits next to me. “When’s the last time you’ve seen Charlotte?”

“This is the third day.” Daesung interrupts. I look at him and he gives a small smile.

“Daesung…” I trail off.

“Aye, hyung~” Daesung says. “You want to know what information I got, right?” He smiles a little wider.

I nod my head and look down at my lap, embarrassed. Daesung slaps my back and sits on the floor in front of Jiyong and I. Daesung looks out of the window for a moment, uncertainty in his face. He shakes his head as he quietly sighs.

“We didn’t talk much.” He says.

“You’re lying.” I observe. He always has this kind of smile on his face when he lies. If it’s Charlotte and Daesung, they’re bound to talk about some things for a while. Daesung sighs once more.

“I told her about you.” He says. I feel my eyebrows furrow. What about me? “I just told her about that time when you saw her the second time.” He mutters, not meeting my eyes.

“What are you not telling us, Daesung?” Jiyong asks.

Daesung looks back out the window, his eyes distant. What did Charlotte tell him that made him like this? Seungri slowly sits down on the floor next to Daesung. Seungri slings his arm around Daesung.

“What did she tell you, hyung?” He asks Daesung.

Daesung shakes his head, meeting all our eyes one by one. “I’m sorry, but it’s not my story to tell. Besides, it seems to…” He pauses and locks eyes with me. “Personal.” He whispers.

“Do you think she’ll tell us?” Seungri asks to Jiyong.

Jiyong shrugs next to me. “Maybe. She does trust all of us, right?”

Suddenly, Daesung claps once. The sound seeming louder than it usually is. “There is something she told me. I think it’s okay for me to share it with you guys.” He smiles, but it disappears as fast as it came.

“Well, what is it?” Jiyong asks impatiently.

“She said, ‘It’s actually harder for me to trust somebody, let alone love. But you guys and YoungBae… I suddenly open up again. I hope you don’t break it.’” Daesung shows a small smile. I feel that electricity I haven’t felt for three days go up and down my spine. She separated me from the others… Does that mean I hold a special place in her heart? I feel a spark of happiness in me. Then the rest of the words sink in.

“What does she mean by that?” Jiyong murmurs. Then he says out loud, “I mean what happened that made her harder to trust somebody?”

“That’s still not my story to tell. I respect noona’s privacy.” Daesung gives us an apologetic smile.

“I understand.” I murmur as I look back out the window.

After a moment of silence, I hear Daesung humorlessly chuckle under his breath. We all look at him. Daesung was looking out the window, his eyes distant again. Without taking his eyes from the window, Daesung asks, “Do you know why Charlotte noona loves looking at the sky?”

None of us answers. I always wondered why she’s always looking up at the sky and the park. At first, I thought she was an outdoors person. But when we went to the park, her face expression changes to something close to sullen. I know she doesn’t seem to realize it since she acts the same and she does smile, but it just gets me wondering.

“Because it’s the only thing that’s never left her so far…” Daesung trails off.

I pause. The only thing that’s never left her? Aishh. This is making me even more curious. I sigh. I want to lie down.

“Can I go to my room now?” I ask, feeling like a little child asking his parents.

Jiyong and Daesung shake their heads.

“Why can’t you just stay with us, hyung?” Daesung asks.

I sigh. I can’t give out a straight answer. “Fine.” I mutter as I stare back out the window. Seungri stands up and goes to the computer we all share. He starts clicking away. Jiyong sits on the floor next to him. Daesung and I roll out eyes. Those two do that twice a week. They’re always going online and checking the latest searches. They also check on the news about us. Daesung climbs up and sits beside me on the couch.

“Hyung! Do you see that?” Seungri jumps up and down and points at the computer.

“Daesung-ah! Look at this.” Jiyong looks at the screen closer.

Daesung stands up and looks over Jiyong’s shoulder. He reads something for a while and I see him break into a smile. Without looking away from the screen, Daesung waves his hand behind me.

“Come here, hyung. Look what they wrote about us and Charlotte.”

I raise my eyebrow and walk over to them. Jiyong scrolls up and it shows a bunch of pictures of Daesung, Jiyong, and Seungri with Charlotte from their dates. There’s some with Seungri and Charlotte eating some food and smiling, Seungri and Charlotte with their arms linked and walking, and then there’s one picture with Charlotte by herself. My eyes stayed on that picture. Seungri must have taken her to that fast food restaurant. Charlotte was looking out the window, the sun lighting up her face. I mentally smile. She looks beautiful.

“There are so many pictures. I didn’t notice there were that many people taking the pictures.” Jiyong says as he scrolls down.

Then there are a section of pictures on Jiyong’s date. There seems to be a lot of pictures of Jiyong and Charlotte holding hands or with his arm around her. Where is that place?

“Where’s that place?” I ask Jiyong.

Jiyong shakes his head, “My secret place.” He smiles.

Then Jiyong scrolls down to a picture with Charlotte kissing his cheek. Daesung’s jaw drops and Seungri exclaims while Jiyong nervously chuckles. Jiyong scratches the back of his head. I meet his eyes with an eyebrow raised.

“So…” He nervously smiles. We all stare at him. “Aye~! It’s just a kiss on the cheek! Don’t make such a big deal.” Jiyong rolls his eyes.

Seungri pouts. “That’s not fair, hyung. Now everybody thinks you guys are dating.”

“No.” Jiyong argues, taking a quick glance at me. “If you look at you and Daesung’s pictures, I think it’s the same way. A lot of people are already wondering about her.”

“He’s got a point.” I mumble as I continue look at the other pictures. I point to one of Daesung and Charlotte. “Look, Daesung is hugging Charlotte here.” I scroll up and point to another picture of Seungri and Charlotte. “And Seungri is holding her hand here. Netizens are probably going crazy and most likely our fans.”

“You’re right.” Seungri sighs. “But I just held her hand! That’s not fair! Jiyong hyung gets a kiss and Daesung gets a hug and you get to sleep—“ Jiyong cuts him off by grabbing him in a headlock.

“Get a hug from her later.” Jiyong growls as he looks at me in apology. I shake my head and shrug. Though, I’m lying if I say it doesn’t affect me.

Sure, I did have her at night, but I’m having strings of jealousy just looking at the picture of Charlotte kissing Jiyong’s cheek. This is too much. Why does my day have to be last from the others? I sit back over at the couch and stare out the window. I haven’t seen her for three days now. Why do those words keep repeating over and over again? It’s agonizing!

“They wrote the first one on Seungri’s day: ‘Big Bang’s Seungri is seen walking the streets with a mystery girl, hand in hand. Many fans have taken pictures of them below and they’ve voiced about this mysterious girl. Some VIP’s have given their approval towards the girl saying things like- ‘She’s pretty’; ‘They look so cute together’ and other praise.’” Daesung reads off the article.

Seungri breaks into a cheerful smile when Daesung read off the VIP’s comments. Jiyong slightly pouts and pushes Seungri again, out of jealousy I bet. I chuckle under my breath.

“Wait, there’s more to the article: ‘While some VIP’s gave their approval and praise, others are consumed with jealousy, so it would seem. They commented- ‘who is she? I don’t like her already’; ‘no! Not baby Seungri!’ or ‘she just came out of nowhere. She should be kicked out quick.’ The person who wrote this article writes: ‘I don’t see why people are hating on this girl. She looks pretty and Seungri seems to be happy with her. I guess we’ll have to wait.’” Jiyong finishes off the article.

Jiyong starts clicking. After a few seconds, Jiyong cheers. “I found an article about my day with Charlotte.” He smiles. “They’re getting more curious. But some are really bashing her just because she kissed my cheek. Wow, that’s a lot of pictures.” He murmurs. Daesung pushes Seungri and takes his spot next to Jiyong. Seungri pouts as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Let me see it they wrote about my day.” Daesung mumbles as he starts clicking. “Ah! Here! Our fans and netizens are getting anxious. Some of the haters are even saying Charlotte’s just using us for fame.” Daesung growls. “They don’t know anything.”

“I wonder what they might say about Seunghyun hyung’s day. I’m sure more people would get crazy.” Seungri says, peering over Jiyong’s shoulder.

“I wonder what Seunghyun is doing right now.” I hear Daesung whisper.

I grab my head with both of my hands. I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t take this anymore! This is absolutely killing me! I don’t think I can stand another second hearing about their dates. That’s it. I’ve had enough pain. I abruptly stand up and walk out our dorm, my blood boiling. I hear the others calling after me. I sigh in frustration. This is all on impulse. This is all adrenaline from all my pain, sadness, and determination building up in me.

I don’t bother taking the elevator. I quickly run up the stairs, two at a time. I know where to go. And this time I hope I know what I’m going to do.