I hit her.

I literally punched her. How can I be so stupid! I felt her there with us. I felt that electricity I’ve been yearning for three days now. Why did I ignore her like that? I should’ve known it was Charlotte…

I let my head fall into my hands. I sigh out of frustration and depression. What happened to me? I completely lost it. Seunghyun hyung was kind of right. I do regret it. If I calmed down, I wouldn’t have fought with Seunghyun hyung and I wouldn’t have hurt Charlotte. I groan. This is all my fault. My feelings got the best of me. I almost died right then and there when I saw her fall to the ground, coughing. I can’t believe I just froze. At the time, it felt right to freeze and just watch. But now, I feel like strangling myself for doing it.

I wonder where Charlotte went. I shudder from the memory. Seeing that cold and calm expression in her eyes… I clutch on to my head, wanting it to stop. After Charlotte walked away, we all just stared at her retreating figure. We even stayed like that when we couldn’t even see her anymore. After a few minutes, Daesung silently follows after her. He didn’t even meet any of our eyes and he didn’t say a word.

I shudder once more. I remember us going back to our dorm one by one. I was last. I was contemplating on whether I should follow the two, but I thought better of it. I shouldn’t make things worse; I’ve done enough for today. Now we’re all here, in our dorm except for Daesung who’s still missing. All of us went back to our own rooms, not muttering a single word to each other. I feel so damn bad! I still can’t believe I did all of this! I really feel like dying…

I can’t take this. It’s too quiet here. I stand up and walk out of our dorm. I don’t think the others would care about me right now. As I was about to go down the stairs, I bump into YG-shi. I take a few steps back and bow.

“Sorry.” I mumble.

YG nods. He stares intensely at my face. “Where are you off to, YoungBae?”

I shrug. “The park.” Actually, I just want to leave this building for a while. I need air. I need some time to think.

YG nods again. “Are you going with somebody?”

I shake my head, my thoughts going to Charlotte. I wish I were going with somebody. It’s too bad she walked away because I punched her. I scoff bitterly under my breath. I’m an idiot.

“I see.” He murmurs. He turns around and walks back towards his office. He suddenly turns around and asks, “YoungBae…” He hesitates. “You didn’t happen to run into Charlotte, have you?”

I felt my shoulders slump and my heart drop as I think of her again. I haven’t seen her for three whole days and when I finally do see her, she’s on the ground coughing her insides out because I hurt her…

“No.” I say, my voice lower than a whisper. “No, I haven’t.”

Without letting YG have a chance to reply, I turn my back and walk down the stairs with tears falling down my cheeks.

---------------------------------

How’d I get to the park? I look left and right. I look behind me and see the YG building close by. Huh, I must be really out of it today. I reach up and wipe away any remaining tears from my eyes and cheeks. I see some small movement at the corner of my eyes. I look right and see a figure sticking out of a tree.

“Daesung?” I ask as I squint my eyes to see him better. “What are you doing back there?”

Daesung steps out. He brings his hand up to the back of his head and chuckles nervously. “Just needed some air.”

I nod. I’m still not buying this. It seems like he’s hiding something.

“What are you doing here, hyung?” Daesung asks, looking down.

I shrug. “Just needed some space to think.”

Daesung snaps his head up and meets my eyes. He quickly looks away after a few seconds. Daesung is definitely hiding something. What was that in his eyes? Sadness? Anxiety? It could be both for all I know. I’m surprised he’s even talking to me in a friendly way. I bet the others would shout at me.

Daesung takes a step to the side. “Well, I’ll be leaving you…”

“Dae—“ I say. But he’s already walking away. I take a step forward, about to stop him. Instead, I stop myself. I sigh. I did say I wanted some space to think… I really am an idiot. Is there someone else in this world that’s pathetic as me?

I sit down on the floor, away from crowds. I let my head fall in my head again. My eyes start to sting. I take in a deep breath and look up at the sky, blinking away the tears forming.

“Babo.” I whisper. “Such foolishness.”

-----------------------------------

[SPOV]

I lie down on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I wonder where YoungBae went, where Daesung went, and where Charlotte went…

I sit up and rub my eyes. It was shocking to see YoungBae hurt her. But then again, I can tell YoungBae was just as surprised. I couldn’t blame him. Charlotte does have a knack for surprising people. I still wonder where she went. I stand up and pace back and forth. Aishh! Why can’t I stay still? I growl in frustration and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. Damn. I look bad. I lightly touch my right eye and instantly pull back. Jeez. YoungBae hit me pretty good; looks like I’m going to have a black eye later on.

I turn on the faucet and wash my face with cold water. Ah, that feels good. I’ll probably take a shower later. I wonder what Jiyong and Seungri are doing…

I walk out of the bathroom and take a peek in Seungri’s room. He’s not there. Hmm, did he leave, too? I was about to open Jiyong’s room when I hear Seungri’s voice through the door. I pause and press my ear against the door.

“Jiyong hyung…” I hear Seungri whisper, making me strain to hear. “I’m scared.”

“What do you have to be scared about?” I hear Jiyong say, trying to sound nonchalant. I’m sure Jiyong is just as shaken up about this as Seungri.

“Seunghyun hyung and YoungBae hyung… what they just did out there…” Seungri sniffs. “Do you think it’ll tear us apart?”

I felt my eyes widen. What is he saying? Of course it won’t tear us apart! We’re closer than that…right? I walk away from the door before I could hear Jiyong’s response. I sadly go back to my room and stand in the middle. I look around my surroundings. Nothing seems right. This emotional side took over me. I knew it right when YoungBae hissed at me about being all high and mighty just because I had Charlotte. I’m sorry that I hurt YoungBae, physically and emotionally, but… this all seems like a game now. And usually, games like this don’t have happy endings.

I hope this isn’t one of those games…

---------------------------------

[CPOV]

“It isn’t anything serious, Charlotte.”

I smile weakly at the doctor. “That’s a relief.”

He nods. “You’re very lucky. If that piece of glass cut deeper then that would’ve been critical.” He gently holds my chin and raises my head up to get a better glance at my cut. “Because it seems that there was already a bruise here before the glass cut it.” He lightly touches my jaw. I hiss and lower my head. I hear him chuckle under his breath.

“Are you sure nothing happened before you got this cut?” He asks again.

I nod, not trusting my voice.

“Because it looks like you got punched…” He murmurs. I look down at my lap, hiding my face. I rub at my eyes, trying not to let tears fall. “And you look like you’ve gone through a lot. Stress isn’t very good for beautiful young girls like you.”

“Can you read people, too, sir?” I joke as I look up.

He chuckles lowly. “Ani. But really do look like you’ve gone through a lot.”

I try to nonchalantly shrug. “It’s something not to be worried about.” I wave it off. I hop off the bed and wipe my hands on my jeans. “May I leave now, sir?”

The doctor stands up as well. He smiles kindly. “Yes. Just make sure you have it bandaged well. It’ll heal pretty soon, but it might leave a scar.”

“It’s better than what I expected.” I curl my lips up to a smile as I shake his hand. “Thank you.” I bow. He slightly bows and waves as he goes into another room.

I sigh as I gently touch my jaw. It does have a bandage on it, but at least it isn’t huge. I look down at my shirt. Ugh, disgusting. I look back up and walk to the lobby. The nurse that helped me gives me a cheerful wave as I exit the building. At least there’re some people happy these days.

I stop and stand right in front of the hospital door. I place my hands on my hips as I look up at the sky.

Where do I go now?