Chaerin's POV

[it's been 8 months already]

I want to die. But I can't. Onew is waiting for me. I feel so dirty and filthy...

[flashback]

I was walking out of school with a newspaper in my arm. I was looking for a job. I didn't want to depend on my Aunty's money. I found a place that I could work in. It was a restaurant and they gladly accepted me. I was happy for the first time in months. But my smile only stayed for seconds as I felt a hand grasp onto my mouth. I tried to scream for help but I was too weak.

The next thing I new was that I was being dragged into a dark alley way. The man pushed me and started harrassing me. I could feel tears streaming down...

I was left there alone in the alley...

Blood covered my hands...

All I could remember was the man's eyes...

I curled myself into a ball and cried. I cried for hours. I put on my clothes back on properly as if nothing bad had happened to me. I quickly walked home, I was so scared. I opened the door making sure not to wake up my Aunt. But my Aunt wasn't sleeping. She pulled me inside the house by my hair and started beating me. She threw objects at me. She kept beating me for hours. When she was done she left the room and went to bed.

I ran to the bathroom, after I got clean clothes. I scrubbed myself hard. I wanted to get rid of everything. Every touch. Everything.

[end of flashback]

Why did I have to get when I started to smile. Why was the longest time I've smiled only lasted for seconds, why not days or hours. Why can't my smile last for at least minutes.

A tear fell down onto my diary, smudging the ink. I lay in bed, just thinking all the things that happened to me. I cried myself to bed everyday. I wanted to go back to Korea so much.