Han Seungyeon

“Sehun, n- no.”

He ignored me. I felt goose bumps all over me before I cleared my voice and said in a more stern tone, “Sehun, I said no.”

He paused for a second. I could feel his breaths on my skin, by the side of my neck. I pushed him away slightly, “I know you’re drunk, but you have to snap out of it.”

“Sehun please.” I begged. He was making me scared. I felt as if I was going to get a panic attack. I wanted him to stop all of this. We were friends weren’t we? I don’t want to be afraid of him. But at this rate, I was slowly starting to distant myself.

He grabbed my hand suddenly and I jumped. I could feel the body heat around me getting stronger and stronger. And then his face was dangerously close to mine like before. I gulped, ready to say something until he spoke, “Han Seungyeon- Seungyeon…”

“Can I do this?”

He placed his soft lips on mine and paused. This was completely different from before. It was as if I was glass, so fragile. He didn’t dare to move his hands from mine. His hands were so warm it was comforting. I didn’t feel afraid of him anymore.

I felt his lips curve up into a smile and then he squeezed my hand softly. Tilting his head, he pressed his lips slightly harder on mine. His lips didn’t move one bit, as though he was so afraid of ‘breaking’ me.

Dumbfounded, I merely stood rooted to the ground as my mind out. What happened to the Oh Sehun just now?

Then his lips left mine before I felt them pressing on the tip of my nose.

“Sehun.” I gasped.

He let go of my hands and backed away. “I scared you. I’m not going to bother you anymore.” His footsteps echoed softly before the door opened and closed shut. I walked slowly to the door and locked it. Placing a hand over trembling lips, I wondered why Sehun did that. Why did he drink so much? He didn’t say sorry for doing that.

Unless, perhaps, he meant it?

No way, he was drunk. I should forget what happened.

~

The next day, my grandmother woke me up to go to the institution. I put on a dress shirt and skirt reluctantly, because she wanted me to wear something pretty, not shorts or pants. I told her it wouldn’t make a difference because no one would care and I couldn’t see myself anyway.  

“Wait till a boy calls you cute or pretty.” She commented, adjusting my skirt. I flushed pink recalling the incident where I met Oh Sehun at the department store.

You look cute.

He called me cute that day.

~

Walking to the institution with my walking stick, I listened to the wonderful bird calls and wished I would see the birds with my eyes. I never knew how birds looked. My grandmother and In-Na would be the ones to tell me how dif